Page 9 of Ice Cold, Red Hot (Coldwater Firehawks Hockey #1)

CELESTE

What the actual fuck?

First he doesn’t know who I am. Then he won’t leave me alone to move on.

Shepherd was pushing my buttons and it needed to stop.

My plate was already full. I’d started working more hours in the counseling center. I had undergrad loans to pay off, and the thought of coming out of school with mountains of debt kept me up at night. (Literally, since that was when I did remote counseling).

Nat commented on it the next morning when we finally got a chance to have coffee together and I could barely keep my eyes open.

“Girl, you’re going too hard. It’s the beginning of the year.

What are you going to look like in May?” She stirred her coffee and leaned back in the kitchen chair next to the window looking out the back of our building.

She was the picture of a well-rested college student, perfectly balancing school and life.

Of course, Nat didn’t have to work on top of everything else.

The way she grew up meant she didn’t have much to prove.

Life was good for her, and I didn’t hold it against her. But we were different that way.

“I don’t have much of a choice,” I told her. “The counseling is remote, so I can do it from here, and they always need people on the overnight shifts.”

“News flash. That’s when you’re supposed to be sleeping.”

I blew across the top of my mug. “Yeah…”

Nat’s eyes widened and she sat up straight suddenly. “Speaking of sleeping… I heard the front door slam last night after Evan and I went to sleep?—”

“That wasn’t sleeping. I could hear you.

” I laughed. Nat and Evan had become a fixture.

A very sexually busy fixture. It didn’t bother me—I couldn’t hear them from my room.

But last night, I’d been in the living room a while, trying to calm down after Shepherd’s bizarre intrusion on my date with Ethan.

“What was that all about?”

“The door slamming?”

“Yeah.” Nat leaned forward, giving me her I-can-tell-this-is-good stare.

“Mostly Shepherd.” I explained what had happened on the curb out front, about Shepherd inserting himself for no reason into my date.

“What? Oh, my god, he’s obsessed with you.”

“What? No he’s not.”

“Um. That behavior right there? That’s called jealousy.”

Was it? I couldn’t figure the guy out. I hadn’t mentioned the night I’d bumped into him in the lounge, when he’d pulled me so close to him I could feel exactly how well he remembered me through his jeans as it pressed into my hip.

“So if he’s obsessed with me, why does he act like I don’t exist most of the time?”

“Because he’s a dumbasss. But that little stunt? That was pure jealousy, babe.”

I hated the way my body tingled at the thought of it, at the idea of having any power over Shepherd whatsoever.

“And how did Ethan react?” Nat asked.

I thought about Ethan for a second, working to will my body to respond the way a single thought of Shepherd set it off. “He was pretty relaxed about it. I mean, he looked annoyed, I guess.”

Nat nodded, her eyes locked on my face. “And how are you feeling about Mr. PhD?”

“He’s a good guy,” I told her. He was. “He’s mature and reliable, steady…”

“Super into you,” Nat pointed out.

“Yeah.” He was. He’d told me that point blank the first time he’d asked me out. He said all the things I was supposed to want to hear. And yet…

“You’re not into him.”

“I’m working on it.”

Nat put her coffee cup down hard, and light brown liquid splashed over the surface of the table. “It’s not supposed to be work, CeeCee. If you don’t like him, cut him loose.”

“I do like him. He’s perfect for me.” Even I didn’t hear any conviction in my words. But he was perfect. On paper. And I thought maybe if I gave my heart enough time to catch up to my head, I’d feel… something .

“And Shepherd?”

I widened my eyes at her. “What about him?”

“Is he perfect for you?” She grinned. I still hadn’t told her how I knew Shepherd, but I felt like I probably should.

“He’s the opposite. Rich and entitled, dumb jock, only cares about himself and hockey.” I knew it wasn’t all true, even as I said the words. “Plus, I TA for his section. It would be totally unethical for us to date.” That much was totally true.

“There are workarounds,” Nat said, looking far too excited about the idea of Shepherd and me together.

“Look, there’s something you don’t know,” I told her.

And then? I told her everything. By the time I finished describing the relationship and connection I’d had with Shepherd for one week this summer, my best friend was lying in the middle of the living room floor, staring at the ceiling and grinning.

“That. Is. So. Fucking. Romantic.”

“What? That he ghosted me?”

“No, not that part.” She sat up and sighed, her hands over her heart.

“The rest! The sunset boat ride? He brought you a blanket and picnic basket? And sneaking you away early in the morning before your shift so you could have waffles together just because you told him about that amazing waffle place?”

“Yeah, that was all good. But now I know it wasn’t him. It was an act.”

Nat frowned at me. “Good point. That doesn’t sound like the Shepherd I know. You’re sure it was him?”

I thought about the shape of his body, the muscular shoulders I had to work to keep my eyes from tracing every time I saw him on campus. The way his hips moved… “It was him. I don’t think I could forget if I wanted to.”

“Wow.” Nat flopped back again. “It’s like Romeo and Juliet.”

“With a lot less suicide hopefully,” I said.

“No wonder he can’t stay away from you,” she said.

“You can’t tell anyone about this,” I reminded her. “And you can’t interfere.”

Her mouth dropped open and she widened her eyes. “Me?”

“You.”

“Fine. But I’m going to make you describe some of that again for me later on.”

“No. Reliving it once was enough.”

“Speak for yourself.” Nat got to her feet and picked her pack up off the floor. “Gotta run. I’ve got class. See you tonight!”

After Nat headed out, I sat at the table for a long time, letting the memories I’d shared with her flood my mind. Shepherd’s smile, those dark eyes full of something that seemed a lot like adoration… but that was all over now. I made myself picture Ethan’s face instead.

It was safer.

That night, Nat and I were hanging out in the lounge in our building. She’d talked me into a game of pool, even though I had loads of work to do.

We were halfway into it when a bunch of guys strolled in, dropping onto couches around the room and switching on the TV to watch a football game.

“Fantastic,” I whispered, every cell on my body raging into full alert when Shepherd followed them in. I could feel his eyes on me, but when I turned to look at him, his gaze slid away. I turned back to Nat, who wiggled her eyebrows dramatically at me. “Cut it out,” I hissed at her.

“We play winners,” Griff declared, dropping a stack of quarters at the end of the table.

Nat crossed her arms and looked him up and down. “Who’s we?”

“Me and Shepherd,” Griff said, mimicking her posture.

If Nat hadn’t been totally absorbed in her soccer player, I would have put money on something happening with her and Griff. The guy was clearly into her, and the way she reacted made me think there was something there for her too.

“We’re just messing around,” she said. “But I’ll play. Only if that’s okay with CeeCee.” She looked over at me, and I realized she was giving me an out if I didn’t want to play with Shepherd, who was ignoring the whole exchange.

“It’s fine,” I said. “But then I have work to do.”

“Cool. You rack,” she told Griff, collecting the balls even though our game wasn’t finished.

“Ren, grab a stick,” Griff called to Shepherd.

Shepherd looked between Griff and me, and then rose slowly and ambled over to pull down a pool cue. He didn’t look at me again, and didn’t utter a word.

The silent treatment went on for the first half of the game, which Nat and I were actually winning.

It was starting to make me feel unhinged—Shepherd’s constant push and pull.

Even when he was ignoring me, I could feel the fire of his focused attention on me.

I was about to shoot when my phone rang in my pocket.

Ethan.

I glanced at Shepherd, who was pretending not to watch me, and something inside me snapped. He wanted to play games? Fine.

“Hey Ethan,” I said, hitting speaker and dropping the phone to the bank of the table as I lined up my shot, aiming my butt at Shepherd behind me as I bent over the table.

“Hey Celeste. Just wanted to see if you’d like to get some dinner this week?”

I took my shot, sinking the five in the corner and grinning up at Nat and Griff. “That sounds great,” I said, aiming my voice at the phone.

I moved around the side of the table so Shepherd was in my line of sight, and watched him stiffen as I accepted the date.

I picked out my next shot. This one would have me leaning over in his direction.

If he decided to look, he’d have a pretty clear view down my tank top. “What time?” I asked Ethan.

“Pick you up at seven?”

Shepherd’s face darkened. I took my shot, sinking another ball. “That’s perfect. See you then.”

I had only the eight ball left to sink, and the shot was a no-brainer. I took it, feeling an immense surge of satisfaction when it sank and Griff booed loudly. Shepherd dropped his cue against the table, gave me one long look, and then turned and left the room without uttering a word.

“Shit,” Nat breathed, chuckling.

Satisfaction filled me, though I knew that probably made me a bad person. Still, I couldn’t help relishing Shepherd’s reaction to Ethan’s call. I’d relish it a hell of a lot more if he’d just man up and talk to me, but if he wanted to play games? Well, I knew a few.

“Hustlers,” Griff said, laughing as he grabbed Shepherd’s stick and put it and his back into the rack.

Nat and I high-fived as the guys around the room laughed, and then I headed out to study, making sure to give Shepherd enough time to disappear first. The last thing I needed was to run into him in the hallway.