Page 24 of Ice Cold, Red Hot (Coldwater Firehawks Hockey #1)

CELESTE

“Nat, how many times can you rewatch Game of Thrones ?” I was at the table pretending to work while Nat binged Netflix.

“It’s better every time. Plus… dragons, Ceese.”

“Dragons.”

We were quiet for a while, and I flipped my phone up, automatically opening Instagram and looking at Shepherd’s profile.

He hadn’t posted anything in at least a week, and stalking the Coldwater athletics profile didn’t turn up anything either.

I told myself we were over, but I’d decided that a little innocent stalking wouldn’t hurt anything.

He’d asked me to stay away, right? Told me I was a distraction.

But I knew he’d been blackmailed, and hadn’t gotten in touch. And now? I’d stopped it, and I still had no idea how he was doing. Every time I didn’t text, it felt a little less like respecting his wishes and a little more like I was losing something. Someone.

“You’re staring at the phone like it owes you money. ”

“I’m just thinking about everything.”

“All the lab shit? Ethan?”

“Yeah.” I turned to face her as she paused the screeching dragons on the screen. “I should feel good, right? I won. I did the right thing.”

“You should feel good.”

“But the thing is, he doesn’t know.”

“Who, Shepherd?” Nat asked.

“Right.”

“You didn’t tell him that you stopped the perv-jerk from blackmailing him and told him to give the money back?” Nat looked shocked.

I shook my head. “He asked for space. He said I was a distraction.”

“That’s not what he said when he fucked you in the training room.”

I’d been trying hard not to think about that. “That was just a slip. For both of us. I mean… the chemistry’s always been there.”

“Right,” Nat said, drawing out the word like she wasn’t buying it. “So you’re protecting the boundaries he set, the ones that are making you both miserable.”

I shook my head, trying to clear it so I could think straight.

I just kept replaying the little things—the way he gripped the back of my neck when he kissed me like I was the only thing he had to hold onto.

The way the tension left his jaw when he smiled at me.

The way his voice cracked when he’d asked me to stay that night in the training room.

I thought about the time when our hands had brushed accidentally in section when he was my student—and he’d looked at me like I was the only person in the world. For a half-second.

I thought about the way he’d looked when Griff got hit—sweaty, furious. So protective.

It made me wonder about him hitting Ethan. What made him do it? Had Ethan said something about Griff? About one of Shepherd’s other friends?

It was far more likely that he’d hit Ethan because he’d said something about me…

Why hadn’t I thought of that before? Was he protecting me?

“So what are you going to do?” Nat asked, breaking me out of my thoughts.

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I walked away because he asked me to.”

“What if he comes back?” Nat asked.

“I’ll still be here.”