Page 20

Lessons

“Winter, fuck you. I hate you.”

—Ivy

“H ey, princess. Care to assist me in reigniting the fires?”

Liam exhales, paired with a shit-eating grin that suggests he wants to light more than just the pellets.

Oh god, he caught me, and it turned him on…. Perfect, stupid girl.

Not that I wouldn’t absolutely love to be completely fulfilled by him.

I mean, seriously, the body and power he exudes is exquisite.

I’m quite ashamed I slept on him for so long, always looking at everything within him but never truly seeing him.

Even then, I hit the nail so far from the head it is embarrassing and then some.

How he knew me and saw me all along, keeping quiet, watching the cards fall, playing his game, not ever seeing it because I was so wrapped up in my own.

It is truly exquisite, the hands he played never showing his tell, or rather, me never looking for it.

He’s perfect for me, always has been.

I was just too dumb to appreciate how well he truly gets me in his silence.

For all these years, I’ve been so wrapped up in figuring him out, looking for the how so much that it kept me from appreciating the beauty in—he just does.

Not every answer needs to be found, nor does silence always mean secrets.

He just loves me.

That’s the only how and why I need for now.

“Well, I was thinking, you know, I could go down and assist, or I could simply warm up the shower and have it ready for you when you get back?”

I tease, gliding across the hardwood floors, slowly dragging my feet from the tops of my toes down like a ballerina floating across the stage in Swan Lake.

Lowering my robe just enough, forcing the bottom to glide behind my footfalls, exposing his favorite side boob shot, I glare at him with intent and will, egging him on, refraining from making full eye contact.

I only give him a split second before my eyes revert to the floor, knowing it drives him wild.

“Ivy,”

he shouts, my head snaps, his tone demanding my attention as he sits up from the covers, his chest bare, smooth with all his intricate tattoos exposed, my favorite that of crows like a painting.

I don’t dare look at him just through him, for agitated Liam is the Liam that feeds my every desire, punishes my every sin, and renews my chances of entering Hell if and when my maker calls me.

My right hand trailing along the white crown molding trim as my body floats, crossing the entryway of the bathroom.

Dropping my robe down, exposing my smooth, desirable skin.

I reach my hand out, teasing him as I toss the robe back into the room, letting him know I am declining his offer and heading for the shower.

I pursue further into the master bathroom, reaching for the door, sliding it left, slipping in.

I grasp the controller, and turn it on, changing the settings to start the perfect shower before heading back to the sink to wash my face.

I hear him shuffle out of bed, angst taking over my emotions, wondering if he will skip relighting the pellet stoves to rush to me or not.

Selfishly, I hope he doesn’t.

The last thing I need after a steamy hot shower is a hug from the cold—from him.

Fuck do I crave it though.

Stepping back in, steam already filling our massive terrarium-like shower that he custom-built for me based on my design from a dream I had one night.

It feels so nice, and exactly what I need this morning.

It’s beautiful, like an escape to a remote island; the stone walls run from the floor to the ceiling on two sides, with glass wrapping the rest of the way.

He perfectly placed the glass side in front of an overly large picturesque window that looks out into the tree line, currently blanketed in snow.

It’s stunning.

Plants are encased in the shower, with ledges formed out of the stone at different heights to hold things, although I do prefer them holding me.

There are so many different shower heads in it.

My favorite is the one that creates a waterfall effect down the side of the stone to my left.

It truly is the perfect place to get all warm and fuzzy inside, and that’s exactly what I need this morning.

The steaming water hits my body, and I can instantly feel the war raging between the cold that I am and the warmth flowing down my body like it is wrapping me in its blanket, reminding me just exactly how much I do love the warmth.

Standing here, taking it all in, my eyes close as my breaths steady.

I feel an intense rush as if I am being watched.

Opening my eyes, my hands smear the steam off the glass.

Peering out, I find him completely naked, his body a work of art.

Every curve and muscle chiseled to sheer perfection.

Not in the ‘I go to the gym seven days a week’ kind, in the ‘I’m a blue collar man type that naturally has that physique’ kind.

His tattoos trail from his chest all the way down his body to his ankles.

The bulge of his veins running through his neck are so strong, I can almost feel his pulse, the look on his face inviting yet reminding me to be cautious because I have been a bad girl, and he doesn’t forgive as easily as God.

Stretching one arm up through his hair, his other streams down his body, touching himself.

Pulling on his already throbbing hard cock, releasing a grunt, he bites on his bottom lip as if he’s sending a warning signal to me.

God, the tingles consuming my body right now feel like I’m being stung a million times over, and I like it.

No.

I fucking love it.

“You look wet, princess.”

His words a mere taunt.

Obviously, I’m in the shower.

“More than you know, sweet man.”

Looking away from him, allowing the water to consume me once more, I hope the forbidden words put a spark in his ass to come join me.

Stepping in, I feel his hand brush across the small of my back; chills pulse in both directions, releasing themselves at my clit.

I physically feel it bounce like it was actually touched.

Circling around the front of me, his finger lands on my chin, inching it upwards, requesting me to look at him.

Opening my eyes, I drink him in, his emerald greens stealing my soul.

Water slowly dripping down our faces, beading at the curl of my top lip before rolling off.

“What did I tell you about calling me sweet man, princess?”

His hardened cock brushing against my stomach.

“I… um… I…”

“I, um, I, what? Use your words. I’d hate to make my own assumptions about your thoughts and leave you with zero input into your punishment,”

he growls, squeezing my cheeks together, making my lips pout out, knowing damn well I want all of his punishments.

“I um, I’m sorry. I forgot,”

I mumble, looking down at our feet, breaking eye contact in avoidance.

I can feel his hand release my face, rolling down my body, brushing over my hardened nipple.

My stomach curls inward, forming a C shape as I inhale a sharp breath, my eyes finding solace in the darkness.

I love a good sensory-starved entanglement.

It’s always been fascinating to me how the human body works like that.

You shut off one sense, and the remaining are intensified like boiling water, scorching through your veins.

His hand continuing its journey down my skin, taunting my body in the most thrilling way.

Suddenly, they come to a halt, his hands encasing around both of mine.

The rigidness of his working hands in the velvet of mine feels deadly in the best possible way.

Suddenly, he shoots my arms up above my head, the dorsals of my hands colliding, binding them within the grip of his own around my wrists.

I dare not move.

He may not be commanding in other aspects of his life, but something about the look in his eyes tells me I’m about to see a new side of him.

Fear hits me, but curiosity tosses that feeling out quicker than it came.Reading the room, I remain still.

My breaths stronger and closer together, the unknown taunting me yet fulfilling me all in the same motion.

If it wasn’t for us being in a shower, the trail starting to trickle down the inner parts of my thighs would be a sight to see.

I feel his face nestle into the hair now covering my face from the force of the water as I stand here frozen, controlled, and growing weaker in the knees.

His perfectly trimmed beard brushing against my skin as his mouth journeys to my ear, his breath warm and composed as he whispers, relishing me in his words.

“You’re not sorry, but you will be by the time I’m done with you.”

Pulses hit me like contractions, my clit fluttering like it’s flying for the first time, the excitement and fear wrapped into one with nowhere to land except him.

“I have a surprise for you Ivy. Keep your eyes closed and don’t peek, or you’ll ruin it, and you know what happens when you ruin things,”

he announces.

I hear sounds unfamiliar, like metal clanking, and gears turning; straight dismay employs me. His hands leaving my wrist, I dare not move, I could, but my body is frozen, his threat of if I do on replay holding me hostage.

Metal skims against my wrists, followed by a clamping sound . I am shackled by something. Every part of me says to open my eyes, but I don’t dare.

“Whaa-”

I try to respond, but I am cut off by a quick and firm, “Shhh, princess, in due time.”

I can’t feel him, nor can I even sense where he is. My body is desperate for him. I always knew suspense turned me on, but never like this before. It feels like time is passing leisurely, like I’ve been standing exposed and now chained perpetually.

What the fuck is he doing? Is he staring at me? Has he left?

Abruptly, I hear him speak, his deep, raspy tone penetrating my soul, pulling a jump scare straight from the depths of my bones.

“Rise and shine, princess, open your eyes.”

Lifting my head, water streaming down my face, I viciously shake my head, trying to remove the strands draped across my eyes, looking up. There are chains drawn out of the ceiling on either side of the middle showerhead, pouring down on me like a fucking thunderstorm. I glimpse briefly before the water consumes my eyes, making it hard to see. Searching for him, his breaths my lighthouse, my eyes fixate on him, standing off across the other side of the shower against the glass. Fuck, I want him.

Distracted by the shackles I didn’t even notice he is holding the controller to all the gadgets installed in this cave of a shower, and worry begins to trinkle in.

He has one foot pressed up against the glass, the other on the floor, and I am drowning. His cock bulges like it is about to become unhinged, the veins pulsing through as every ounce of his blood circulates to it uncontrolled.

I worry he has gone feral and is about to take me with him. His brow raises as he threads his tongue across his lips; a deadly laugh follows when suddenly, I feel ice pour down over me. Chills burn me as my body scurries to regulate the drastic change in temperature. I squirm, the chains clanking against one another at my sudden moves, my voice echoing from the walls, but I cannot move as I am secured in this very spot by the chains that Liam designed.

Fucking architects. Goddamn handymen.

A gasp exits my body. “What the fuck, Liam?”

I scream, blazing my eyes in his direction, shaking and squirming, fighting to escape the icicles darting at my flesh in full force.

He looks like the devil in this very moment, confident, entertained by my agony, calm, and collected as I am literally being tortured and waterboarded simultaneously.

He’s fucking enjoying this shit, fuck your shit-eating grin.

Briefly, O’Connor comes to mind, the night we shared, the way he used the water as his weapon, my anger now the driving force heading straight to my clit.

Kicking off the side of the shower, he heads towards me, confident and unbothered by my irritation. Circling me, his fingers brush across my frozen skin, my body pushing into his hand with each touch he feeds me, my skin needing the warmth his hands have to offer. He grins, caressing my tit, abruptly pulling on my rock-hard nipple that could cut ice before releasing it quickly moving onto the other. His aggression matching that of sweet-sweet sin, circling me. “I thought you loved the cold princess, no? I thought it was everything that fed you, defined you, and fulfilled you, no?”

“I…I…I…”

I begin to answer, but he cuts me off.

“This morning, it was the cold you were thinking of, touching yourself to, was it not?”

My stomach shifts its way into my throat.

Omg, he fucking knows; he actually knows; why didn’the say anything?

“So here you are, defenseless and completely enclosed by the cold, so show me, princess. Show me what you do when you feel him, go ahead, rub your fucking clit, and don’t stop until you fucking come.”

He rages, tilting his head, his face emotionally vacant, further selling all my actions this morning did to him. His fingertips reach out to my bare, wet flesh, brushing lightly against my skin, making their way up my body. Stopping at the tips of my fingers, releasing my left arm from the chains.

“Show me. Show me how hard you’ll fight to always find my warmth.”

“Liam, I,’’ I mutter through trembling lips, unable to find my words. Goosebumps cover my body, shivers expelling through my limbs as I brush my hair from my face, my mind unable to calm my body,

“No, Ivy,”

he cuts me off.

“Now, you have two options: you can either stand there and freeze or fight like hell to get warm. You choose, but I am not releasing your other hand until you have done as I asked. Tik tok, princess. ”

Has he lost his fucking mind? Why do I get the feeling Liam knows more about me than I was aware of? Like he knows I enjoy torturous sex, even though we have never had it. I mean, sure, he’s punished me before after a night out, knowing I was doing what I had, but even then, his punishment was playful. We are vanilla with the occasional jimmies. Nonetheless, vanilla. I’ve never seen this Liam; then again, I’m remembering how little I actually know about him, and thirty minutes ago, I was ok with it. Now, I feel my ache for the hunt of his deepest inner thoughts building again, and accepting how and why never being answered is nonexistent. Just like that, the chess board has returned; for all I know, that’s exactly what he wanted.

“Now!”

rings out, bouncing off every inch of the shower.

Letting out a defeated grunt, I am well aware by the darkness in his eyes that he will not relinquish me until I have done as he commanded.

Slowly, I begin slipping my free hand down my body. There’s a reason the queen is the most powerful fucking piece. I’m not going down without making my own move.

I begin teasing him, lacing my fingers up across my tits pulling and playing before moving them further up my neck. Turning my face from his view, I leisurely relish in the feel of my own skin as they descend further down until I reach my slit, returning my gaze to him as I’ve reached his desired destination. My mouth opens slightly, breathing in what air I can as water escapes with each breath. All eyes on me, baby, just like you wanted. Eat your goddamn heart out, Liam. Checkmate.

Swirling my finger around my clit, I begin tantalizing him—seducing myself. This is not what I had envisioned when I woke up this morning—being Liam’s toy and not the enchanting and vanilla girlfriend I have been all these years is dangerously intoxicating. Okay, enchanting is probably not the word Ivy. I mean, I fucking like it, but he shouldn’t know that. And when did he install these chains?

You want a show, I’ll give you a fucking show.

Circling my clit, rubbing faster and faster, homing in on the all too well-known side-to-side frenzy, I can feel the blood rushing directly to it and warmth starting to spread.

It is hard to focus inside a walk-in freezer, but I’m fighting to find warmth.

Closing my eyes, I relish in the feel of myself, my clit throbbing and my slit beginning to weep from the friction of my hands.

My legs start shaking, wanting to give out as I feel the climax building when he growls, “Look at me, Ivy.’’ Chills consume me further if that’s even possible.

His voice capturing my stare, not skipping a beat; my bottom lip sinks in between my teeth as I bite down, concentration leaving me and pleasure-filled bliss taking over.

Slow, steady moans escape my lungs, and I suddenly feel warmer than ever.

Our eyes lock into one another’s as he stands there rubbing and caressing his cock, slowly and steadily, rubbing back and forth down his shaft, hugging the head with each stroke as he watches me pleasure myself.

The control he has commanded is endearing yet terrifying.

I watch him watch me, using him and his actions as my weapon to give him exactly what he desires.

I slip a finger inside between my folds, taunting him, wishing it was him penetrating me, curling his cock up and into my quiver spot.

Slowly moving in and out, I add another finger slipping further in, fucking myself while using my thumb simultaneously rubbing my swollen clit that’s begging for its release.

I’ll be damned if I come before you. I may be your prisoner, but I am the fucking warden.

Lies, all lies I tell myself. He has me, and fuck, I love being his captive.

Rubbing my clit faster, my head falls back, the climax on edge as I gasp for air. Loud moans bouncing off the walls, echoing through the entire house. My legs give out, my body completely being held up by one chain and my wrist. Drowning in the water, I scream in ecstasy as come rushes out of my pussy, and I drop completely. Lifting my head up, looking to him for, I don’t know, approval, validation, the faintest idea that he will come and lift my body up and fuck me, but there is nothing. He walks closer, dialing up the temperature of the water a few mere degrees warmer but still cold as fuck .

“AGAIN,”

he shouts.

Placing my feet back down on the freezing stone of the shower floor, I try to speak, but I can sense it will fall on deaf ears. My breaths fast and vicious. I find myself fucking and arousing myself once more, exhaustion consuming me as he watches until, once again, I hang in his torture, climaxing this time to a place I’ve never reached by the art of my own hands. Grunts fall from my mouth, followed by panting and sheer humiliation, humiliationI despise and love all in the same.

You are one fucked up human, Ivy.

Sure that he is walking over to release me, I feel relief, quickly turning to despair as he walks past me. Circling behind me, coming back around to the front on the other side, lifting my chin with his right hand, his mouth so close to mine. His breaths so warm against my frigid lips. Reaching out to kiss him, he jerks back, saying nothing. Brushing the other across my frozen nipple, pinching it between his fingers, rolling and pulling, causing me to squeal from the pain. Not releasing me, he bypasses me once again. Uncertainty of where he is or what he is doing fills my thoughts until I feel the rise in temperature of the water as he smacks my ass with all of his strength, forcing me to jump, the devil on his tongue as he commands, “AGAIN.”

A fire lights in me, becoming combative. “Li-”

is all I get out before he cuts me off, “AGAIN, IVY.”

I have nothing left in me. My muscles weak, my wrist in pain unlike I’ve ever felt. At this point, I’m not even sure my hand has any blood flow left above me.

The only thing I can feel is my clit throbbing for more, yet my body begging to be let go from this position. I fucking growl at him like a caged dog.

“Fuck you, Liam,”

I spit, my words drawing a swift grin to form across his face. Running his fingers up my slit, flicking my clit, I squirm.

My eyes follow his sandy brown hair up my chest, teasing me as his tongue sucks in my nipple, his lips a vessel as they deliver pleasure between his teeth.

Pulling viciously, his emerald greens gaze upon me as he demands, “Oh, I fucking plan to, princess. Now, again!”

I should battle him.

I should demand he release me right now.

This isn’t normal.

This isn’t what the world would call love, but fuck me it’s intoxicating.

This is the love I have been craving from him.

All the arguments, all the missed signals between us, the years we spent toeing around each other led us to this moment, and I fucking love the look on his face, the devil in his disguise.

I was fucking built for this, and I refuse to deny myself this moment.

Lucky for him, his gamble of this all is paying off because fucking is my version of love, and torture is its best vessel.

I do as he says, my clitso sensitive at this point it’s like a virgin being touched for the first time.

Running my hand back down, I start slow.

The sensitivity is almost unbearable even though that will benefit me in being done quicker.

I take my middle finger and place it directly over my clit, pressing down, contorting my hand back and forth so fast it takes seconds for the lightning to hit me full force.

My body tenses, and if it weren’t for the water, he would’ve just witnessed me squirt all over myself, come now encasing my thighs, the texture differentiating itself from the beads of water streaming down.

I moan like a starved woman taking her first bite, collapsing completely, the clink of the chains ringing out.

I feel the tears breaking out of the dam I have been barricading them behind, and I can’t stop them.

They just keep falling fiercely.

My eyes are that of a leaky pipe with no shut-off valve nearby.

My body exudes exhaustion, and I am no more.

Picking me up, pressing his body against mine, my head rests over his shoulder.

Holding me up, he reaches for the clasp, unlocking the chain granting me freedom.

My arm falling viciously to my side, the heat of the blood racing back to the tips of my fingers, making them itch and burn.

My muscles unable to maintain my body’s weight.

I wrap my other arm around his neck as he lifts me into his arms, pulling me out from under the water.

My head hanging off his arm as he repositions me, cradling my body like a baby.

My eyes close, and I’m taking in every water-free breath I have earned.

My stomach heaves up and down at a rate inhumanly possible.

Laying my limp body on the boulder under the waterfall in the corner of the shower, his hand frees my face from the cold, wet hair coating my skin.

He gently places a kiss upon my forehead.

His lips are so warm, his breaths calm and steady unlike that of mine.

Opening my eyes, his face all they see, the water crashes onto his shoulders, forming an umbrella with his body, leaving mine completely untouched.

The warm mist breaking past him makes me wish he wasn’t hovering over me, yet inside me.

His over-excited cock at full salute, almost touching my cheek.

“Did we learn anything, princess?”

he softly asks.

I look into his eyes with barely enough breath to speak. “Ye, yes.”

“I want to hear you say it,”

he snaps, running his fingers through my hair, caressing me in an opposite fashion than the last hour.

“Say what?”

I cautiously snap back.

“Do we love the cold, little bird?”

That’s what this was all about, the cold? Tayden? I should have put two and two together, but through the freezing temperatures and pleasure, I wasn’t solving the lesson. I just knew it was one.

Who the fuck are you, Liam Maddox?

“No.”

“No, what, Ivy? Say it, I want to fucking hear you say it.”

“No, I don’t love the cold,”

I push fiercely off my tongue.

“Now that’s my good little bird,”

he growls.

Circling around me, he lands on his knees before me, his head placed perfectly between my lifeless legs, rubbing his hands up and down them as if making me aware of his next move.

I’m exhausted with no idea what any move of his may be, for this one was the last thing I ever expected from him.

I never knew this pleasure-filled darkness lived inside of him.

I thought the Budweiser night in the basement was for him, the way he took me on the pool table more viciously than he ever had before, but I know now that was for me; this , what’s happening right now, is one hundred percent for him.

I am not God; I do not forgive so easily.

This was a thought-out plan, from the installation of the chains to the lesson he was attempting to teach me.

How have I been with a mastermind all this time right under my nose and had no idea? Selfishness, I am certain.

When you’re playing chess, sometimes you forget to look at the opposing players’ games around you.

Hyper focusing here to fuck me, literally.

Spreading my legs apart, forcing them to fall to the side, exposing all of me to him.

His breath draws closer and closer until suddenly, I can feel it on my clit, causing it to pulse, but he does nothing else, just blowing and watching.

My body squirms as the heat of the water re-regulates my core temperature.

The tingling sensation encases me in pure euphoria.

“Do you know what the difference is between you and other women, Ivy?”

My eyebrows furrow, confused by his question.

“What, Liam?”

I am intrigued by the answer that lies at the core of his question.

His fingertips make their way up my thighs until they are circulating my lips, sliding up to my clit, following down my slit, and swirling at my opening as he replies,

“You were never granted the beauty in exploration without guilt and fear being all you felt at the end. Which makes it so fucking beautiful to watch you explore it.”

His warm fingers still taunting me, sliding in my drenched pussy, twisting and turning, hitting my sweet spot over and over, forcing my back to arch until it feels like it will snap in half if I bend any further.

“I’m not sure if it was God or Satan himself that sent me to you, but I am going to mold every piece of your existence, feeding it and filling it until I am all you desire, without limitation, reserve, or guilt. I am your Father, Son, and Holy goddamn Spirit. I am your Roman Empire, little bird. Welcome to your lesson.”

His words penetrate my soul, sending shock waves throughout me. All I want is to wrap my legs around him and feel his cock inside of me deeper and deeper with each stroke.

I am truly a sick and twisted human being.

Lifting up onto my hands, looking at him enticed by his words, I demand, “Then why don’t you fuck me, Daddy?”

His gaze softens, and I know I just struck gold in him.

“I thought you’d never ask, little bird.”

His hands slide under my ass, lifting me up, slamming my pussy onto his cock, no warning, no adjusting as a gasp leaves my lungs. Fire radiates through my opening as it stretches, trying to adjust to the sudden intrusion, his tip bottoming out, feeling like it’s well into my stomach. I wrap my arms around his neck as he slides out again, thrusting harder this time. Tears pool at the back of my eyelids from pain served in ecstasy.

“God, you’re so fucking tight, princess,”

he growls as he slams me into the rock wall thrusting in and out, our bodies colliding his cock invading me as if there is no beginning, middle, or end, just his own plot.

The stone gouges into my back, his fingers running up through my hair.

His thighs supporting my weight, the wall his helping hand.

His mouth relishes my neck, making its way up to my lips.

My tongue jetting out penetrating his mouth as his lips devour mine.

I slide up and down his cock, our words lost in translation, our bodies telling the story, water beating down onto us as our skin slams into one another.

“Don’t fucking stop,”

I manage to mutter, my lips not leaving his.

“I never have, baby.”

Moans and breaths escaping our mouths intermixing with each other, suddenly, his hand forcefully latches onto my face, staring into my soulless eyes as he fucks me like he’s never done before. Peering down, red trails through the water beneath us, confirming what I was feeling. The rocks have sliced into my back from his force. I don’t even care. This moment. This Liam is everything I ever wanted and didn’t know I could have.

“I’m going to fucking come.”

“Me too, baby. I want you to coat my fucking cock as I come inside your sweet fucking pussy.”

Our bodies are on fire; the perfect combination of pain and pleasure brings us to a climax like never before, this time both of us gasping and fucking like ravenous animals racing to our last meal.

Moans fill the room once more, his hand cradling my ass, the other moving up my body until I feel his fingers hug my neck, stealing my breaths, using his body as a force.

Pinning me fully against the stones, a breath leaves me, unable to inhale a single one if I tried.

His face slowly disappears from my vision as the lack of oxygen weakens my senses, my sight tunneling into the dark.

I feel him relieve himself as I come all over him, our sweet sin releasing in both directions.

His moans my aphrodisiac, his body my resolution.

I collapse directly onto him with nothing left inside of me to feel, my body quivering like I’m on death row and they just electrocuted me.

Charlie horses consuming every muscle in my body, trying to come down from the best fucking with this man I’ve ever had.

Fuck this is what I imagine heaven to feel like.

Scooping me up, connecting a soft kiss to my lips, caressing me, to where? I have no idea, nor do I even care at this point. I feel my bed under me as he lays me down like a newborn kitten, gentle and pure; pulling the covers over me, he whispers, “Fire can consume the cold along with everything within its reach, little bird, but the cold cannot consume a fire no matter how hard it may try. The battle is won before it has even begun. I am forever superior; don’t you ever forget that little bird.”

I lay here with my eyes closed, not paying him any attention. His footfalls becoming lighter and lighter until I hear the bedroom door quietly close.

What is happening to him? What is happening to us? Did I create this in him?

I lay here still, frozen in time, questioning everything that just transpired, his words. What did he mean? And why little bird? Oh my god, I called him Daddy.

I’m in so much fucking trouble.

Do I enjoy this Liam or miss the quiet Liam? Physically, I want this Liam for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, but mentally, I feel he just said checkmate, like he now controls my entire game, one in which the board is a mess and the rules mucky-as-fuck.

It’s nameless, as all he did just sent my pawns back home.

My body is too tired to move, my mind intrigued of what’s to come thinking of our lawless fuck.

I need sleep; more than that, I need therapy.

Fuck I need champagne.

Nonetheless sleep is all I truly crave.

Searching for a new therapist will have to be on tomorrow’s agenda.

I’m overdue for a visit to Red.