Page 10
Deceit Breeds Deceit.
I am a quiet man because I love with grace.
Nothing of reward in this life has ever come from moving before you know another’s next three.
Patience is key in being the last king left alone with your queen.
My mother taught me that, and she taught me well.
—Liam
I vy has been gone for almost a week, she comes home today—hopefully.
I’d be lying if I wasn’t fucking irritated by it.
What man would be fine with their girlfriend disappearing without answers? None.
I wish this was the first time, but it’s not.
I’ve lost track of how many times she’s gone off-grid, but I love her.
I understand her even when she thinks I don’t.
I’ve learned over time to just dive into my work.
Idle hands are the devil’s playground, after all.
Retirement has thickened my madness.
I stay busy working on a surprise for her in her absence.
My entire life has revolved around her since before she even knew me.
We argue because I am so quiet in a world where she can’t help but be so vocal.
If she only knew the lunacy that plays in my head, she would know I am not an empty shell yet a man who knows how to choose his battles.
She fights many and probably will the rest of our fucking lives.
To love Ivy is to know grace.
Fuck I give her so much, it’s only because I know she lacks any for herself.
I know setting hard boundaries with her would have me exiled quickly, just as letting her know too much about me would.
That I know with every fiber of the man I am.
I love her too much to allow that to ever happen.
I won’t ever let that fucking happen.
She is mine, now and forever, even if that entails me sharing her with him.
I’d love to knock Tayden the fuck out and any man that ever thinks he has the right to what is mine.
I’d place them six feet under.
Fuck that, twenty feet under, but I can’t because if I did, I know my exit would be requested from her.
Well, I don’t know that, and that’s what fucks with my head.
I know where I stand, but not always in what capacity. Instead of showing all my cards I sit and watch her play her hands over and over again. She thinks she plays such a blinding game, but that is the epitome of her tell. She shares more with her blinds than her hand, always remaining so focused on what she doesn’t show. I’ve done the math. I know what I signed up for. I’ve had a front-row seat to Ivy before we ever went on our first date, before I ever entered her body. Fuck is her body beautiful. Her mind, though… that is why I stay; it’s why I could never walk away regardless of her actions. She thinks she chose me, but I chose her, and then I hunted her down and made my desires a reality. My hope is to resurrect hers from the ashes of her past and watch them burn fiercely in our future. It wasn’t hard to do, if I am being honest. I had the best instruction manual for her. To love Ivy is to know the privilege it is to be a part of her world . Fuck am I a lucky man. Loving her is never easy when it comes to him. The part of her life she has tied him to was embedded so long before I was ever a thought in her mind. I respect what he has done for her, but I cannot respect that he continues to maintain a constant in her life, knowing damn well he will never commit to her. On one hand, fuck him. I’m glad he never can; on the other, she needs that relentless chase with him to make her feel alive. He doesn’t see all the beauty I do in her. He doesn’t even know what his presence does to her—to us. He gets the put-together Ivy. I get all the sides she would never share with him and the one’s she’s unaware I know live within her. That makes her mine. Her comfort with me to be honest and raw and broken is something he will never have, which reminds me that I am forever hers. Even Red, he gets her, too. It fucks with me. He’s a presence in our lives double time by his place in her life as well. Fucking piece of shit . I’d love to make him disappear from this world, slowly torture him watching him plead and squirm before he takes his last breath. Fuck, would it bring me great satisfaction. Just thinking about it makes my fucking dick hard. The bigger picture keeps me from making my fantasies a reality just yet. I must play it right, and for now, my little bird is not ready to suffer the loss of the man she gives too much credit to. Always giving him grace, yet never allowing herself some. She fucking deserves it; he deserves nothing. I keep my knowledge of him a secret from her. As far as she is concerned, I only know they talk on the phone. Lately, she’s been slacking on her pyramid of lies when it comes to him, which tells me there is more happening between the two of them, and it fucking enrages me. Her reserve tells the entire story. My skin crawls at the idea of them together, his hands on a body mine has staked claim to long before he ever has. Fuck, it makes me want to unleash the demons in me. I was raised to watch from a distance, just as my little bird. The only difference between us; she reads the world not only from the darkness but the front lines as well, while I seek the solitude of the shadows. The shadows have the best fucking views the world has to offer. Luckily for her, I let her lies go in one ear and out the other because if I play this as I have always planned, he will soon be a part of her past, and all because of her own doing. I’m merely just the helping hand. If one is to let go of one’s security blanket in life, one must find a replacement they fully trust. I’m a fucking quilt compared to him. Soon, she will see that, and she will realize. Then, and only then, can Tayden finally be drug off to the wastelands he deserves to rot in. I can’t hold her deceit against her when the entirety of our relations, were born from my own. The door slams from above, a smile breaks across my face. My little bird is home . Wiping my hands, cleaning them off, I chuck the towel to the side, locking the door behind me. I hate to ruin my little bird’s surprise. Making my way up the stairs, I head out of the basement door to find her in the kitchen, her hand rubbing her shoulder as she shoots back a shot of scotch.
“Care to pour me one?”
I request, making my presence known.
She shoots around, our eyes meeting.
Fuck she looks exhausted.
“Liam, aghhh, it’s so nice to be home,”
she shouts, running over to me.
Her body colliding with mine as she jumps onto me, her legs wrapping around my waist, her arms tucking my neck into her.
I take in her scent, honeysuckles, and champagne with a hint of scotch, as I squeeze her with all my might.
“I fucking missed you.”
“I missed you too.
I’m so sorry I disappeared again; work was shit.
The gala was great until it wasn’t.
I just needed to disappear and drown myself in the job.
You know how I am when I get stressed.
Work is my only cure.”
Her words are remarkable.
The lies roll off her pretty little tongue with such ease.
I’ll punish her for that eventually, not yet though.
Soon, she will be the good little bird I know she so desperately craves to be.
That reminder calms me, allowing my words to play perfectly into hers.
“I hope nothing too unmanageable with work.
I know that deal is so crucial to your success this year.
It’s a big fucking deal if it all comes together.”
Jumping from me, she heads toward the kitchen counter, pulling out another glass, pouring us a drink, trying to find her words.
Come on, little bird, find the move, examine the board, then make your play.
“ Come on, you know me better than that; nothing is unmanageable.
Always just finding the right avenue to get men with way too much money and pride to put their dicks down and see a deal for what it is.”
A laugh escapes her, selling her lie.
Her lies fuck with my head when they are used on me, but the way in which she deceives the world with them makes my dick hard all in the same.
“Good, I’m glad it all worked out.
Now I get you all to myself for the weekend,”
I bite, stepping into her, attempting to lift her shirt.
My hands rummage her body, causing her to inhale a squeal; suddenly, her body flinches away from my hand.
She’s in pain.
What the fuck was that? So many thoughts racing through my mind.
“What is wrong?”
I question, my eyes darkening, my face unable to hide my concern.
“It’s nothing, honestly.
I just fell while getting out of the shower.
I think I bruised my ribs.”
Folding her arms gently over her chest.
Her guard is apparent, but this lie, I refuse to let go.
“Let me see,” I demand.
“Liam honestl—”
“Let me fucking see, Ivy,”
I bite, cutting her off.
There is no way my wounded little bird is getting out of this one.
Stepping into me, unfolding her arms, her resistance fades away as I grab onto the bottom of her shirt, gently raising it up.
Shock and anger take over me when I see black and blue bruises covering the entirety of her right ribcage.
“Ivy, what the fuck?”
“Liam, honestly, it’s fine.
It’s not anything a little brandy won’t take the edge off of.”
“That’s not fucking nothing, and it damn sure isn’t from a shower.”
Rage engulfs me as the thought of Tayden or anyone harming her seeps in.
I know she was with him last weekend, and by the aging of the bruises, he’s responsible for them.
The question is; did he harm my little bird? or fuck her? I want to lose my shit right now and demand the answer behind her lies, but I can’t.
I must maintain grace.
Fuck that piece of shit.
I will kill him, tear him apart limb by limb.
Doing neither is the furthest thought from how I feel right now.
Fuck it, grace has no place right now.
“Who fucking did this to you?”
Seeing the teeth marks, I’m unable to accept anything other than the truth for once.
I want the fucking truth, even if it scares the fuck out of me.
“Nobody Liam.
Fuck, I fell out of the goddamn shower.
This is really not what I wanted to come home and do.
Fight.
Fuck, why can’t you just let it go? I fell.
I’m bruised even more than there.
It happened.
I’m fine.
Nobody did this to me.
I did it to myself—booze, stress, and a bad fall.
It probably won’t be that last time either,”
she yells, deflecting her lie into my issue, which it certainly is not, all while letting a little truth slip—she has more bruises than that.
Fuck.
He had her.
These bruises were of passion, not of anger.
My worst nightmare has arrived, and I am now in a war bigger than it was ever supposed to escalate to.
Won’t be the last time? The fuck, it won’t; a man can’t fuck you without a cock to place inside of you, little bird.
“Liam, honestly, I am fine,”
she reassures me, her hands grabbing onto my face, attempting to restore the color to my skin.
Her eyes soft, her tone so desperate for me to accept her answer.
I do exactly just that.
Once again, I’m forced to refrain from the darkness taking over me, and I let her lies fill her head as truth—for now, not forever .
“Okay, well, let’s get you upstairs.
I’ll go get you a bottle of champagne, and you can soak in the tub.
I’ll unload the car, then we will ice it, babe.”
I throw back the glass still sitting on the counter, the burn feeding my need for revenge.
My exterior presenting what she wants of me, while internally, I want to burn the fucking world down.
My heart—shattered.
“Thank you, love, that honestly sounds fucking amazing.”
She gasps, releasing the breath she was holding, waiting for my response.
The fear that was just resting in her eyes melts away, and relief replaces it.
You haven’t won, little bird, but I’ll let you believe it for now, this isn’t over, Ivy.
Not by a long fucking shot.
“Giving myself grace feels so wrong.
Maybe this isn’t the type of grace Evalyn meant when she told me I’m allowed to gift it to myself.”
—Ivy
Nothing about lying feels right.
Maybe it’s time I tell Liam the truth about my relations with T.
He knows we are friends.
I’ve always been honest about that—kind of.
He’s always been fine with my sexual indiscretions; I should just tell him.
The thought passes as quickly as it comes.
The possibility of losing him seems worse than lying to him.
The hot water washes over me as I sink down into the water, the bubbles floating to the top, allowing me to sink into the quietest of places in the world.
My favorite place.
Rising back up, I reach over, grabbing the glass of champagne Liam poured for me.
Taking a sip, releasing a breath, my head falls back in pure bliss.
Fuck, I’m exhausted .
The silk of the water between my legs takes me back to last weekend with T.
Fuck was it beautiful.
The feel of his hands on my skin, the taste of him on my lips.
I re-imagine and run through the events of that weekend.
The conversation, the security I felt with him, laying out on the dock together, just enjoying each other and fuck, the food.
It was truly one of the best weekends of my life until I had to head back to the city.
That’s when the weight of our decision to cross the line we promised we never would seeped in, hitting so hard.
I beat myself up all week over it.
I do have a conscience, after all.
Luckily, work, and this huge deal Red and I have been working on was the perfect distraction for me.
We’ve dreamed of a deal like this our entire career.
Sole listing rights to an entire building.
That’s one hundred and thirty-six units.
The commission alone would be life-altering, though that’s not our driving force because we’ve made millions already.
The professional bar we would set in the real estate world would be substantial.
I haven’t quite figured out how we are going to sell them all in six months per our contract yet, but with her spunk and my brain, it will get done.
Failure is not an option, especially with so many industry eyes on this deal.
The snakes are already circulating, praying for our downfall.
I’ve tried to avoid Red like the plague, but it was hard this week.
I know she knows, but I haven’t spoken to her about it per se.
I know I shouldn’t want to celebrate my lies and behavior with T, but part of me feels like a kid in a candy store needing to share the details with someone.
Scrolling through my phone, I land on Olive’s name.
Clicking on it, I open our message thread, my fingers igniting.
I haven’t replied to her since I left town for Maine with T.
So, there is no skirting around it.
She’s known me far too long, and when I disappear, it’s no secret with her that I’m up to absolutely nothing mentally beneficial.
I am sure T was never on her mind when I disappeared, though.
It’s never been him, so here’s to blowing her mind.
Ivy: Hey, Bestie.
Sorry I disappeared on you again.
Life’s been crazy, and I just needed to blow off some steam.
I’m home now, though.
How are you? How’s life? Sorry I missed the art show.
I promise I’ll be at the next one….
Fuck, waiting for her response is killing me.
Her bubbles keep moving then stopping.
Come on, girl, don’t leave me waiting.
You know I have some tea for you.
The bubbles stop.
Fuck, her response is in.
I don’t want to look.
Olive: Bestieeeeee, I have missed you so much; totally fine btw; there’s always the next one.
You did miss an insane show, though.
So, are we going to talk about the elephant in the thread? Or are we going to act like you didn’t pull another disappearing act? God, I hope it wasn’t O’Connor again, but nonetheless, I need DEETS.
Olive may be a lot of things, but dumb has never been one of them.
She can read me like a book.
It’s honestly what I love about her most.
She knows me so well, and with her, I oddly don’t mind being seen.
Her life and marriage are perfect, but she never judges me, and for that, I have so much love for her.
She lives vicariously through me; that has never been a secret.
Our friendship is filled with purity and honesty, and there’s never been bad blood between us like there is between Red and I.
There is nothing better than having a woman friend who is never in competition with you, yet always there rooting for you to win.
Those friendships are rare as fuck, and if the Lord cursed me in every other way, he most certainly blessed me with her.
She heals the friendless inner child in me daily.
A smile appears across my face at her desire to know the details as I begin to type.
Ivy: Haha you know me soooo well.
Bitch, I don’t even know where to start.
I’m chilling in the tub right now.
I’m a little wounded and trying to soak and drink the pain away.
Definitely not O’Connor, although you know he isn’t that bad.
He’s sweet.
You’re so harsh on him.
But yeah, not him.
I was actually up in Maine this past weekend, then had to return to the city to get the contracts signed and negotiated for that building we have exclusive seller rights to on Fenway Ave.
What a fucking nightmare, but certainly a well-welcomed distraction after the weekend I had.
Olive: Wounded? Confused….
Not O’Connor? Then who? Nate? The fuck were you in Maine for girl? Alone?
Ivy: Well, as you are aware, T was in town.
Long story short, he didn’t leave.
I was so upset by his and Red’s actions I got drunk and secluded myself in my loft when he showed up in the rain with a car, demanding me to get in.
Of course my dumbass did…
Olive: Get the fuck out, no lie, that shit sounds hot AF…… Wait, did yous guys? I’m on the edge of my seat…… Dish before I go into cardiac arrest.
Where’s Liam?
Ivy: Liams downstairs somewhere, thank god.
I need a break to gather my thoughts and figure out how I’m going to approach this whole Tayden thing to him, if at all.
He saw the bruises on my ribcage and flipped the fuck out.
He pulled the whole who did this to you.
I was able to assure him I harmed myself falling out of the shower, but I feel the conversation isn’t over yet.
Olive, honestly, it was a wild weekend.
He took me away to this home, and it was everything I had ever dreamed of.
A private library fully stocked with all my favorites and a motorized spiral staircase to reach them all, with a bed suspended from the ceiling in the middle and a wrap-around porch like that bed and breakfast we went to that one time in Cornish, remember? The one with the huge swing on the front and, anyway, the architecture in this home was stunning.
Honeysuckles literally everywhere, and it was truly home; then he shocked the fuck out of me… He said it was my home he spent the last year having built specifically for me since I’ve never felt I’ve had one.
Then shit just got out of hand, I tried.
I promise I fucking tried to refrain from it, but how the fuck could one after that? Especially with our history.
So yeah, we fucked so many times, ergo, my bruised ribs.
I feel guilty, I do, but honestly, it was all I ever imagined it to be and then some.
We then argued over some shit from our past, which really sucked, but it needed to happen, I guess.
Fuck, I’m so screwed.
Olive: I’m gasping for air right now.
Holy fuck, yous guys finally did it.
Damn girl, I know you’ve been fighting it for so long.
Honestly, I don’t blame you, but now that you’ve had him, what happens now? I can’t imagine the feelings running through your overthinking brain driving back home to Liam today.
Are you going to tell him? And what the fuck is T still doing in town? Girl, your life is so wild……… Are you okay?
Ivy: I’m okay.
You know me, compartmentalize, and move on.
I don’t know what the future holds, though, honestly.
I love Liam so fucking much, you know that.
He is steady, dependable, kind, and fuck so patient with me.
I just fucking hate that I feel like I don’t know him like he does me.
It’s like I’m missing an entire part of him.
I can’t really put my finger on it, but I wish he fought with me more.
He’s just perfect, and perfect scares me ‘cause nobody is perfect.Obviously, my actions with T are not because of a lack in Liam and I’s relationship.
You know that.
T and I just have so much unfinished business together.
I guess I always thought once it happened, I would finally have clarity, but honestly, I’m more confused now than ever.
It’s odd, but I don’t feel like I could ever blow up my life for T, but I know with his new move that I was just made aware of, it’s certainly going to make things harder.
Forever stuck in an entanglement.
Excuse me while I drown myself in the tub.
Setting my phone down, I sink into the tub all dramatic-like, the air leaving my lungs bubbling up to the surface, afraid of her response.
Olive: Pull your head out of that water right meow bitch… it’s fine, it’s all going to be fine.
You’s both have held onto each other for so long.
Honestly, I’ve never understood why the two of you haven’t ended up together yet, but as always, I am #TEAMLIAM.
He loves you so much girl, and nothing’s wrong with perfect.I think when it comes to Tayden you need to ask yourself though, is it love? Or not letting go of the past? That’s the question I think you need to answer before you can find a sense of direction.
Wait, where’s Tayden moving to? Here?
Ivy: Apparently, he’s been here for months.
He and Anastasia moved here a couple months ago.
Olive: Girllllllllll, okay, maybe it’s not going to be okay.
Fuck me, that’s a lot going on in your life.
I wish I had the words for you, but I don’t.
How you handle all this and your job is just fucking wild.
Tayden in Boston, fuck…..
Not good, bestie, not good.
But who knows, maybe the closure in distance will allow you to move on, and maybe it’s out of your system now? I know we read about stories like yours and Tayden’s, but is it real world or fantasy? That’s what you need to figure out.
How’s Red handling it? God, I can only imagine…
Ivy: Thanks for the pep talk—NOT.
Red, well, I haven’t spoken to her about it yet, but she’s been trying to reach out.
I just can’t deal with her right now outside work.
I know she knows, and I can tell she’s pissed.
I worry more about what she is going to do now that I broke our only rule when it comes to him.
I can’t stress about it right now though.
I gotta focus on Liam.
I haven’t spoken to Tayden since we left Maine.
I’m not sure if or when I will.
I’m just trying to avoid him altogether right now, and he hasn’t reached out either, as usual, so it’s probably a good thing.
We both probably needed to just get it out of our system so I can move on with Liam and him with Anastasia, and this whole childhood thing can be just that.
A fantasy we craved and fulfilled, now a part of our past, end of the story.Anyway, I want to see you.
Are you in the city or out here? Lotus for lunch on Sunday? I need normalcy.
Olive: Girl, I hope that’s all it was, and you can finally move on from him.
Nothing against him, but this has carried on for so many years, and I want you to truly be happy.
Liam is perfect for you! Plus, Dax likes him, so it would suck if yous guys ever broke up! Obviously, I want more deets cause I can only imagine how wild it was…..
And size does matter But yeah, we’re out here this weekend.
Let’s plan for noon Sunday? Can’t wait to see you guys! Love you so big, and no, I’m not judging you, so stop overthinking and relax.
Heal those sex ribs see you Sunday.
Love you Best Frannnnnn.
Ivy: Aww, you got jokes Perfect see you then…..
I will try, no promises.
Love you too.
God, I fucking love her.
Honestly, I’d be lost without her.
Most people want friends that always agree with them and never question their actions.
I hate those, which is why I love her.
She may not judge me, but she certainly doesn’t hold back when it comes to being honest and level-headed.
I don’t care who you are.
No genuine human wants to be agreed with on everything.
Except me when it comes to Liam allowing me to keep Tayden.
She’s that for me, always keeping me grounded, even when I go soaring off into self-destruction.
God, I feel so much better after texting with her, and my ribs, well, they aren’t half as bad as they were before this Epsom salt bath, and the half bottle of champagne I’ve taken in helps too.
Maybe it’s the chaos talking as it usually is, but for once in a long time, I can’t help but feel like I just might be okay and survive life.