Page 16 of I Don’t Need Your Protection (Harrington Bay Academy #1)

Addie

A few students are milling about outside on campus, but it’s mostly empty. Considering it’s in the middle of October, it will start to get dark soon, so I have a few minutes to myself.

Except, I’m not really by myself. I don’t have to see him to know that he’s here, somewhere.

On the one hand, I do feel safer, but on the other, I seriously feel a lack of privacy.

Like what if I want a few minutes to mourn over my parents without an audience?

True I can do that in the bathroom, but there’s something about being outdoors and in nature that makes me feel closer to them.

Maybe because they loved the outdoors? They loved to go exploring and on hikes.

And I shared the love, too. I miss going on hikes with them.

I think they would have loved it here because there’s so much greenery. Mom would take her camera and spend the whole day snapping photos. And then the three of us would spend the entire night poring over them and marveling at how talented Mom is, and how beautiful nature is.

I sit on a bench near the dining hall and squeeze my hands together, trying my hardest to fight the tears bursting to break through.

All I want is to let go and allow the tears to roll down my cheeks, but I convinced myself not to cry anymore.

The other kids at the group home would make me feel weird whenever I cried.

I never understood why—most of them were orphans, too, so didn’t they get it?

—but I guess some people think crying is a sign of weakness.

I don’t think it is, but the last thing I want is for anyone here to make fun of me.

“Fancy meeting you again,” a familiar voice says.

My head snaps up, and I find Warner standing over me with another guy by his side. He has curly dark hair and a lazy look in his eyes. Like he can’t be bothered to care about anything because it takes too much effort.

My body perks up at the sight of Warner. “Hey,” I greet, instantly feeling better.

“What are you doing out here?” he asks.

“Just looking for, um, some peace and quiet.”

He grins. “I know what you mean. Living in the dorms is like sharing a house with a hundred siblings.”

I laugh. “Totally.”

“Who’s the chick, Warner?” his friend asks.

“Chick?” I roll my eyes.

“Yeah, not cool, Hudson. Quit calling girls chicks. What decade are you from?”

Hudson does a leisurely scan of me, then shrugs like he finds me half decent.

“Do you want company?” Warner asks me, nodding to the space next to me on the bench.

The truth is, I just want to be alone and mourn over my parents quietly. I want to give myself the opportunity to face my feelings and not keep everything bottled in. Mom always taught me how dangerous it is to keep your feelings unchecked. You might explode at any time.

“That’s okay,” I say. “I won’t be here long, anyway. It’s getting late.”

He smiles. “No worries. I guess I’ll catch you later, then? Let’s go, Hud.” He slaps Hudson’s chest, who is staring after a group of girls who just entered the dining hall.

“Yeah, later,” I say.

He makes it a few steps before whirling around. “Hey, Addie?”

I turn my head. “Yeah?”

“Nila is throwing a party tomorrow night. You in? You can bring your friends.”

I gape at him. “You’re inviting me to a party?”

Even Hudson looks at Warner like he’s lost his marbles.

“Of course,” he says. “You’re cool.”

Me, cool? Suure.

“I thought we’re not allowed to have parties at school,” I say, remembering the rules I read in the student manual.

They both chuckle like I said the silliest thing. “Off campus,” Warner says. “Nila’s family owns a house a few miles away from school. They never use it or show up there. ”

“Will it be tame?” I ask.

Warner laughs to his friend. “She’s adorable.”

Hudson shrugs like he’s not sure he would use those exact words to describe me.

“You’ll be fine there,” he assures me. “So is that a yes?”

“I guess I’ll see.”

“Playing hard to get.” He winks. “I like it. See ya, Addie.”

He and Hudson head to the dining hall and disappear inside.

I stare at the closed doors, a million thoughts racing through my head.

Of course I’ve been to high school parties, but I’ve never been to one thrown by a rich person.

And without parents around? Isn’t that a recipe for disaster?

Then again, I can still have fun without doing things I don’t want to do.

Aren’t I supposed to try to fit in here?

I might be pretending that I’m not rich, but the truth is that I am.

Should I try to get used to this kind of life?

With a huff, someone drops down next to me. I’m surprised to see it’s Caleb. He usually prefers to hide in the shadows.

“A high school party already,” he says as he folds his arms over his chest. “You can’t help but get yourself invited, can you?”

I can’t tell if he’s teasing me or is ticked off at me for some reason.

“Should I not go?” I ask.

“Didn’t you tell me not to dictate who you hang out with?”

I narrow my eyes at him. “It’s not my fault I’m so lovable.”

Of course I meant it as a joke, but for some reason, I find him staring at me.

“What?” I demand.

He blinks and tears his eyes away. “Nothing. Do you plan on going?”

“I don’t know. I have to discuss it with my friends first.”

“All right.” He glances around, then looks up at the sky. “How much longer do you plan to stay out here?”

I lift my shoulders. “As long as I feel like.”

He exhales an impatient breath.

“You can take a break from your babysitting duties if you’re so irritated with me,” I inform him. “There are guards stationed all over.” I nod to them. “I’m sure they’re just as capable of protecting me as you are.”

“I told you I don’t trust anyone but myself.”

Now I fold my arms. “Fine.”

We sit here in silence.

And more silence.

I was supposed to sort through my feelings, but it’s kind of hard to do that with Caleb sitting right next to me. I don’t know, his presence just…unnerves me for some reason.

I get to my feet. “Okay, let’s head back in.”

***

My legs strain in pain as I push myself to keep running. My body feels like it will collapse any minute, but I can’t take a break, not even for a second. If I stop moving, they’ll catch up to me, and that will be the end of me.

I dash into the forest, hoping the tall trees will shield me from the guys. But I can hear their footsteps growing closer and closer. It sounds like they’re right on my tail.

“Mom!” I call as I push aside branches and leaves that get in my way. “Dad!”

The only sounds I hear are the “pound, pound” as their shoes hit the ground, the crunching of twigs beneath my sneakers, and the random animal in the distance. I think I even hear a wolf’s howl. If those guys don’t get me first, I won’t be surprised if I end up as something’s dinner tonight.

“Mom, Dad!” I cry. “Where are you?”

It’s really chilly out here, and all I want is to snuggle up in my bed, in the safety of my home. But I can’t do that anymore. I no longer have a home.

I call out to my parents a few more times, but they don’t answer me. I’ve never felt so alone before.

Then I see an area where the forest meets civilization. Maybe there are some houses there and I can run to safety. Even though my body is spent, I push myself once more to reach the end of the forest. Just a few more steps and—

My foot gets caught in something—maybe a tree’s roots or some fallen branches—and I trip and topple to the ground, my palms and knees scraping against the dirt and rocks. The footsteps catch up to me and I roll over to see two shadowed men standing over me—

I spring up in bed, my heart galloping in my chest faster than a racehorse. My whole body is drenched in sweat and I’m shaking like a leaf during winter.

Oh, gosh. It was just a dream. I bury my face in my hands as the largest sigh of relief escapes my body. It was just a dream .

I’ve been having nightmares regularly since my parents died.

I used to have them every night the two weeks after their deaths, which made me dread going to sleep.

Imagine, the only times I actually saw my parents were in my nightmares.

But thankfully, they show up less often now, though they always seem to creep up on me when I least expect them.

A noise to my left makes me gasp in silence. But it’s just Caleb. He’s standing by the window, his face practically fused to the glass. His body language tells me he’s on alert.

“What is it?” I ask.

He startles and spins around to face me. It’s hard to see in the dark, but I can tell his eyes are a little wide, like I scared him.

“You’re awake,” he says.

“Yeah, sorry…I mean…” What exactly am I apologizing for?

“I was too noisy, wasn’t I?” he asks as he turns back to the window. “Sorry about that. I just thought I saw…” He presses his forehead to the window and stares outside, as though he sees something suspicious.

“Is someone out there?” I whisper, grabbing Ellie and hugging her to my chest. I also wrap my blanket around my shoulders, as though that will shield me from a potential murderer. My heart rate hasn’t slowed down.

Caleb gazes out the window, shoulders stiff and at attention, and then he wrenches himself away and marches to the door. “Stay here, Addilyn. I’ll be right back.”

“Caleb…” My voice quakes .

“It’s okay,” he says in a soft and soothing voice. “You’re safe here. I’ll only be a moment. Don’t open the door for anyone.” He slips outside.

The room is dead silent, the only sound coming from the clock Caleb hung on the wall.

And some small noises outside. Here, alone in my room in the dark, my mind conjures up all these crazy scenarios.

Like now that Caleb left, my parents’ killers will somehow fly into my room and finish the job.

Or maybe their killers have been hiding in my room all this time and will come out and pounce on me at any moment.

The fact that I had a nightmare about my parents’ killers chasing me at the same time Caleb saw something suspicious makes my blood turn cold. Am I psychic or something?

When the door opens, I release a small yelp and nearly shoot to the roof.

“It’s okay,” Caleb whispers as he slips back inside and locks the door. “False alarm. It was just two kids trying to sneak into the dorm. They were really bad at it.”

“So…I’m not going to die?” I croak.

Caleb walks over until he’s standing right next to me. For a second, it looks like he might want to take my hand or something, but he says, “Nothing will harm you as long as I’m around.”

“ Sweeny Todd ?”

His brows dip. “What?”

“Never mind.” I hug my stuffed elephant closer as my body continues to shake. “Thanks for, um…looking out for me.”

“Just doing my job. ”

I know he keeps saying that, but from the expression in his eyes, I get the sense it’s more than that. Or maybe that’s just me wishing that were the case. I’d like to think I have more value than just being a “job.”

I notice Caleb studying the way my body still quivers. “Are you okay?”

“What? Oh, um. Yeah. Of course.” I force a smile.

He doesn’t look convinced. “I’m sorry I scared you. I really thought…” He shakes his head as he runs his hand through his hair. “You should go back to sleep.”

A part of me wants to assure him that he shouldn’t feel bad or guilty—my freakout is mostly due to my nightmare. But the last thing I want is for him to know I have nightmares. How mortifying is that?

“You should go to sleep, too,” I say. “It doesn’t look like you slept a wink.”

“I didn’t.”

“Do you sleep at all?”

“I sleep as much as I need.”

I lift a brow. “And how many hours is that?”

“As much as I need.”

“So cryptic. You can tell me, you know. I won’t tattle to your superior if you squeeze in some extra sleep. Like a human should,” I mutter under my breath.

He’s quiet for a second or two before saying in a slightly more authoritative tone, “Get some sleep, Addilyn.”

He lowers himself on the comfy chair next to my bed and pins his eyes on me. When I glance at the clock on the wall, I see it’s nearly four in the morning. Is he trying to tell me he plans to stay up most of the night watching me sleep?

As if he senses my thoughts, he says, “I’m not going to watch you like a creep.”

“Could have fooled me.”

“My job is to protect you, Addilyn. A person is the most vulnerable when they sleep.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay,” I mutter.

The truth is, he’s not the reason I’m hesitant to go back to sleep. If I close my eyes, will I have another nightmare? After the spook I had tonight, I don’t know if I can handle it. Ugh, I feel like such a baby, being scared to go to sleep.

“Your elephant wants you to go to sleep,” he says.

My surprised eyes spring to his face. Do I see a hint of a smile on his lips?

“Ellie only speaks to me,” I say. “So you can’t possibly know what she’s thinking.”

“She made an exception for me.”

“Has she?” I look down at my elephant. “Are you betraying me?”

I make her shake her head.

“You see?” I say. “You must have my elephant mixed up with another.”

He gets up from the chair and walks over to me. Before I have a chance to react, he plucks Ellie out of my hands and puts her mouth to his ear. “Hmm,” he says with a nod. “Uh huh…Yes, I totally agree…”

“Excuse me… ”

“Ellie says she made an exception for me because she understands that I have your best interest in mind. So please stop being stubborn and go to sleep.”

“I’m not stubborn.”

He raises his brow at the elephant.

“Give her back.” I snatch her out of his hands and fall down on my bed. “Happy now, Mr. Big Muscles?”

“Yes.” He settles back down on the chair.

I turn to my side and snuggle up with Ellie. I don’t know why, but there’s a weird feeling in my stomach. Maybe because I got a glimpse of a playful side to Caleb? He’s always so serious and all business-like. The few times I teased him or tried to have fun, he always shut me down.

But he clearly does have a fun side. He just chooses not to show it. It makes me wonder if he wants to desperately share that part of himself with another person. Or does he prefer to be an emotionless protector?

I guess it doesn’t matter. At the end of the day, I’m just an assignment to him. True, I thought I might have seen some care or sympathy in his eyes earlier, but maybe that’s part of the job. After all, a hysterical client will just make his job harder.