Page 49 of I Could Have Missed This

I’m so tired. I just want to go home.

I don’t even know what home is anymore. The one home I had was with my mum and she’s been gone a long time now.

How can I live my life without you, Mum?

Look at where it’s gotten me.

I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and go to leave. The stench of acid on my breath must be awful. I open the stall door to a tall, muscular man. I don’t clock what’s happening till he starts speaking.

“You’re new here, aren’t you?” He asks, his voice deep and loud. I wonder if the whole pub can hear him. There’s other guys here too but I can’t think about that yet. I need to deal with the guy towering over me first.

“Yep,” is all I can muster.

“What was all your looking about, eh?”

“Loo… looking?” I slur.

“Aye, you were giving me ‘fuck me’ eyes,” he spits out. What even arefuck me eyes?

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Oh, are we getting aggressive now? I like that. What’s your name?” He asks, his voice steady. His words are calculated. Whereas mine are slurring.

“I don’t need to give you my fucking name asshole. Get out of my way,” I say through my teeth. I go to walk past him but he blocks my path.

“You look like a girl,” The man laughs.

Then before I even realize it’s going this way, he’s got me pinned to the side of the stall with a thud. My head is whipped back into the wall. He starts grabbing my trousers and is trying to pull them down.

This is it.

Is he really doing this right now?

I can’t let this happen.

What the fuck do I do?

I can’t breathe.

I can’t breathe.

I can’t breathe.

“Stop it!” I shout, but he ignores me.

My breath is ragged and it hurts when I attempt to breathe in fully. His grip is strong and terrifying. The lights are red overhead and all I can think about is hurting him.

So that’s what I do.

I take my leg and heavily extend it into the monster’s balls. He yelps out in pain. Once he’s distracted, I cock my arm back and give him a punch to the nose. He screams out in pain again as he backs out of the stall.

“WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?” I scream at him. I punch him again, this time hitting his right cheek. I like the feeling of my hand connecting to his face. He deserves that much. He’s on the floor now.

“My fucking nose, you bitch!” He screams at me. He attempts to get up but decides against it. He spits blood in my face. I want to hit him again but then I see the one person I didn’t want to see this.

Teddy stares at me, horrified.

“Noah? What the?—”