Page 6

Chapter six

Isabella’s Residence, Knightsbridge

Isabella

Night has fallen across London. The early winter wind whirls through the trees outside as the last of the brown leaves fall. It’s six in the evening, and I’m already snuggled up on my sofa with a glass of wine and my pajamas firmly in place. A cheesy romantic comedy is playing on the television as I thumb through the divorce agreement again.

“Will that be everything today, Miss?” Ronan asks from the doorway, interrupting my melancholy. I look up to see him already dressed in his winter coat and scarf, ready to leave. What if I said no? I think bitchily, then immediately scold myself for my nasty streak. The man goes above and beyond the call of duty. He has every right to go home.

“Yes, Ronan. Thank you.”

He nods, his face painted with a sad smile. Though we never discuss how lonely I am, I know he knows. Most weekends are spent on my own. I’ve had girlfriends to socialize with in the past, but most are only interested in finding a rich husband. Men have been few and far between; any attempt at a relationship has ended in both parties only satisfying their sexual needs. I can do that myself, without the risk of heartbreak.

The online world I have created from behind the mask I wear is the only place I feel seen. It’s ironic, considering no one knows who I am. My content is a window into the person I could be if freedom were a choice I was born into. Now, at almost forty, it is a chance I must take, though I wish things had turned out differently.

My eyes drop to the documents in my lap. They are a stark reminder of a time that went so wrong. Our wedding night was meant to be one of the most special days of our lives—and it was until other family members got involved in the relationship between husband and wife.

We both stood gazing at each other in only our underwear. Hunter was handsome from the day I met him as a boy, but in his early twenties, he had developed into a striking man. He watched me as I undressed him, his eyes full of hope and love. I have never doubted for a moment that he loved me.

His hand reached for mine and pulled me to him. My arms snaked around his neck as his lips dropped to touch my collarbone. Excitement fluttered in my belly with the intimate gesture, both soft and fleeting. A promise of things to come, but also a signal that he wouldn’t push me.

“Come lie with me, Bella,” he whispered. “Let me hold you in my arms.”

He maneuvered us toward the bed, encouraging me to lie down on the white silk sheets. My hair splayed over the fabric as I gazed at my husband staring down. His cock stood tall beneath his boxers; a powerful hand disappeared below the waistband as he rearranged himself. The tip of his dick appeared momentarily before he covered himself once more.

“Kiss me,” I said softly.

Although we had been friends for years, our physical time was limited to family visits. There had been little private time for us to enjoy. Most of our intimate conversations happened on paper. Now, we were truly getting to know one another. It was a time for us to learn how to be the best partner we both could be.

Hunter lay down on the bed beside me. Propped up on his elbow, his hand lifted to my cheek, cupping it softly before kissing me. My heartbeat quickened as my brain caught up with the situation. I was half-naked in bed with a boy. Not just a boy, my husband. Tonight was the night I could lose my virginity.

The familiar fear of sex reared its head, as it had every time I thought about this moment. Although my monthly painful episodes were somewhat under control, there was no way of knowing if the act of sex would be excruciating. And from what I had read from other sufferers, it could be. What if I ruined our first time together; it would be tragic for us both.

“Have you had sex before?” I asked him, curious to know. He froze for a moment. Uncertainty flitted over his features as he considered what to say. He was a man in his early twenties; I wasn’t na?ve enough to think there was no possibility that he had sexual experience. Knowing how my own father has raised my brothers, I would have been shocked if he hadn’t.

“Yes,” he replied, his tone subdued. “I’m sorry, Bella. When I was eighteen, my father took me to a brothel to learn how a man should do things.” His words spilled out rapidly as if dispelling a colossal secret. He looked away, and his cheeks reddened under my gaze. “It wasn’t what I thought it would be. It wasn’t special.”

“Did you enjoy it?” Hunter took a deep breath, his enormous chest expanding and contracting as he considered what to say. “It’s okay if you did, I’m just interested.”

“Interested?” he replied with a nervous chuckle. “On our wedding night, you want me to account for my sexual experiences?”

“I want to know who I’m in bed with. Does my husband have experience? Or do I need to recreate all the porn I’ve watched?” His eyes popped open; they ran over my face, trying to assess whether I was being serious. I tried to stay impassive, but it was difficult not to smile. Life with Hunter was going to be fun. My ability to tease him would improve as we got to know one another.

“Yes, I enjoyed the sensation. Perhaps not the location or the woman I was with. There was no connection. It was all physical.”

“And since?” I continued probing, needing to know more. “Look at me, Hunter. Your experience is nothing to be ashamed of.”

“A few times, but never with someone…” He trailed off, clearly even more uncomfortable with the conversation. “Why does this matter, Bella? The only woman I will ever lie with from this day forward will be you.”

Lying beneath him, I looked up into the face of the man I loved more than anything in the world. I reached up for him, pulling him down to me. Our lips locked—he was hesitant at first, a reflection of my own insecurities. We were two young people who had fallen in love with words rather than actions, and now was the time to explore the next stage of our lives together.

We found our rhythm, our lips dancing as our tongues explored each other’s mouths. With each kiss, a calmness replaced the nervousness between us. My fingers disappeared beneath the strands of his slightly over-long hair as I held him to me. His scent surrounded me, the one I chose for him when I decided he would be mine.

“You taste amazing,” I told him when we parted.

“And how do I smell, Bella?”

“Like my perfect meal.”

“Not if I eat you first,” he said, darkly. “Tell me to stop if you’re uncomfortable.”

His hand skimmed down my body then pried my legs apart. I lay on the bed, staring up at my husband as he moved on top of me. He was tall, not overly broad, but strong with firm, lean muscles. My fingers wrapped around his biceps as he settled himself between my legs. Fuck, it felt surprisingly good to have him pinning me to the bed.

“I trust you,” I told him, and I did.

An excited smile played on his lips as he gazed at me.

“Thank you, Bella. I love you.”

Warm lips connected with my collarbone, and he scattered kisses over my bare shoulder slowly and deliberately. Each time our flesh connected, my heart beat a fraction harder. Greedy fingers skimmed over the outside of my lace corset, pausing on my breasts. He squeezed gently, but his unsure eyes flicked to me for reassurance that I was happy. I returned the silent question with a small smile, and his confidence visibly blossomed.

As he moved lower down my body, a mixture of nerves and excitement bubbled in my stomach. This was actually happening. My body tensed as his touches got lower until his lips connected with my thigh. He breathed deep between my legs; I felt my cheeks warm with the unexpected action. How could anyone like how someone smells down there?

“I want you so fucking bad, Bella,” he said, the words a growl from his chest. Strong fingers wrapped around my lace thong, and I panicked for a moment, everything going rigid. He hesitated, then my body relaxed, and he pulled the garment from my body. His gaze flicked up, dark eyes focused only on me. “I want you naked.”

Hunter sat back on his heels, and his hard cock that had peaked at me over the top of his waistband now strained against the material of his boxers. I sat up on my knees to face him. His fingers pinched the small zipper on the front of my corset. He lowered it slowly, my breasts coming into view. As the material widened, my nipples sprang free. My husband gulped audibly before pushing the zipper the remaining distance and discarding the item on the floor.

“Bella,” he said, shuffling toward me and twisting a lock of my hair around his finger. “I have married a fucking goddess. I want…” He stopped speaking, laughed, and shook his head. I frowned, and he responded with a kiss. “No, Bella, I need to suck those stunning nipples. Allow me, please?”

“And if I say no?” I teased.

“I’ll beg.”

“It’s our first night, I won’t make you beg.”

“But you plan to in the future?” he asked, his eyebrows rising almost to his hairline.

“Every. Damn. Day.”

“And I’ll get on my knees for you, Bella. You’re my girl, and you will always be safe with me. Every. Damn. Day.”

My heart breaks in two as I remember our final conversation about our lives and our future together. I lift my wine glass to my lips and drink deep, intensely aware that tears are streaming down my face. Crying over Hunter Devane is something I’ve become used to, though the loss never seems to become less. Though outwardly I hate him, inwardly, I know he feels the same excruciating loss of the life we could have had.

His lips had locked on my nipple then, his warm tongue playing with the tip. He bit down a fraction too hard, and I yelped. He pulled back and placed his hands on my hips as we stared at one another.

“Gentle,” I scolded, playfully wagging a finger in front of his nose. “Give your wife a chance before you go all domineering.”

“You like domineering?” he asked, surprising me. I shrugged. Hell knows what I liked, but I couldn’t deny him being more experienced and in control in this area was a turn-on.

“Perhaps…as long as you’re not mean.” The edges of his mouth turned up. I narrowed my eyes, unsettled, thinking he was laughing at me.

“Mean? Bella. For you, I’ll be a puppy dog who pretends to be in charge.”

“Pretend then husband, take control.”

Without needing a second offer, he took my right hand and placed my palm over his cock. My fingers froze, the shock of feeling his body ready to do the one thing that terrified me.

“Feel what you do to me, Bella. Feel how ready I am to slide inside you. For us to be one.”

Slowly, I wrapped my fingers around his length. The barrier of silk was like a safety blanket as I touched a man for the first time intimately. Hunter returned to playing with my nipples, sucking more gently. I glanced down, amazed by how swollen and pronounced they were, standing firm against his touch.

My confidence increased as we continued. My hand rose to the waistband of his underwear, then retracted as I wobbled. Eventually, I summoned the courage to slide my fingers inside and hold him. His dick was thicker than I imagined, hot and hard.

“Hold me tighter, Bella. I’m all yours, always.” His hand came to join mine; he guided my fingers up and down the shaft. His forehead rested on my shoulder as we worked him together—me learning what to do, and him having me do it for the first time. My hand paused at the bottom of his cock, my fingers searching warily for his balls. They were soft, a stark comparison to his cock.

“I want to see,” I told him, and he smirked.

“Are you asking me to get naked, Bella?” Embarrassment surged through my body, and I looked anywhere but at him. Strong fingers pinched my cheeks, turning my face back. “Does my wife want to see the whole man she signed up for?”

The sexual tension broke. Everything that had been building in the hours leading to this moment gave way to lust. The nerves, the terror, the worry, it all disappeared. All I knew in that second was, I wanted him naked, and I wanted to lose my virginity to him on that bed.

I replied with a simple, “Yes.”

“Lie down, Bella,” he said. I did as I was told, sinking back into the sheets. He stood up, then pushed the boxers away. Upright above me, he was huge. His cock dropped between his legs. It hung heavy and hard, almost terrifyingly. He lay down beside me. “I need to make sure you’re ready, Bella. Open your legs. I’m ready, but this pussy of yours needs to be too.”

One hand sat on my stomach as my knees remained firmly clamped together. It moved lower, squeezing between my thighs and slowly prying them apart. He placed his hand over my entrance; then a single finger started to touch and tease. He pushed the tip in slowly, his eyes focused on mine, constantly looking for reassurance I was all right.

“Good girl, Bella,” he whispered. “My wet, beautiful girl wants her husband’s cock. That makes me a happy man.” He worked slowly, sliding a single finger in and out of my pussy. Each stroke felt easier than the last; I lay back, closed my eyes, and began to enjoy the sensation more and more. My knees fell open further, and I felt my entrance stretch to accommodate his second finger. He pumped, and my body buzzed a little more with each stroke. “My wife is ready.”

He climbed between my legs. I opened my eyes, and we stared at one another, both of us desperately wanting this but terrified at the same time.

“Are you ready, Bella?” he asked, and I nodded. But as he slid inside, the most excruciating pain appeared. He pushed down, and I screamed. My body felt as though it was being ripped in two. His eyes flew wide and he pulled away.

The guilt was immediate. I’d ruined it. Our night was a disaster because of me. Hunter scrambled over the sheets as I burst into floods of tears. The embarrassment overwhelming at my inability to give my new husband the most natural experience we should have.

“Bella,” he said, his voice vibrating nervously. “Did I hurt you? I’m sorry, Bella. Please forgive me.” He gathered me in his arms, holding me close as I sobbed.

“I’m sorry,” I snuffled against his chest. “I ruined our wedding night.” He grabbed my shoulder pushing me back to look at him.

“No, Bella,” he said, his tone firm. “You ruined nothing. We’ll wait. We will find you treatment, but until then, we’ll wait.”