Page 31

Darren hesitated, maybe tripped up by that declaration. Then he said, “Yeah, well, she won’t if you’re dead.”

“We do this my way or no way,” Romano told him, keeping his voice level.

“All right. Okay. Go on, what else?”

“That’s it. Take her somewhere safe. Get your best guys to work on the antidote and then put that damned formula down the nearest toilet. But don’t let it slip that you have it. I want White to think he still has a chance.”

“But he’ll still come after you if he thinks that.” Then he sighed. “That’s what you want, isn’t it? He’ll come after you tonight, and you’ll?—”

“Better than letting him get away again, don’t you think?”

Darren sighed, but didn’t argue. “Tell me where you are, my friend.”

“Yeah.” Romano looked toward the bathroom door, where he could hear the shower running, and he thought of how furious Lexi was going to be with him for this. She wouldn’t go willingly. He knew she wouldn’t. “Give me a couple of hours, okay?”

“Sure. Whatever you want.”

So he told him the name of the hotel and their room number. A few minutes earlier he’d been wondering if he could convince Lexi to stay with him. Now, he was trying to think of a way to convince her to leave.

Connor seemed pensive.

Lexi wanted to know what he was thinking, what he was feeling, but she wouldn’t ask. If he had something to say to her, something to tell her, he’d have to do it on his own.

When she came out of the bathroom fresh from a shower, he was pretending to watch television. There was an open pizza box on the table.

His face was expressionless, but there was trouble in his eyes. His shoulders were too stiff, too square.

She’d thought they were safe. They’d left the killers behind, found the formula, brought it to the good guys.

Only they hadn’t given it to the good guys just yet. And it was pretty clear that her feeling of finally being safe was an illusion.

“You might as well tell me,” she said. “I can see in your face something’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong. This thing is almost over, that’s all.” He got up from the sofa and came toward her. “You’ve been great. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“I’ve been fighting you every step of the way.” She met his eyes, saw what was in them, and didn’t like it a bit.

This was it. He was getting ready to say goodbye.

“Lexi—”

“Don’t.” She pulled her hand away, a flutter of panic in her chest. Not now.

Not yet. But she couldn’t keep her eyes away from his if she tried.

So much feeling in them. So much emotion.

How could he pretend not to have feelings, when his eyes were oceans of them?

“You’re going to say it’s over, aren’t you? ”

He closed his eyes, nodded slowly.

“And what if I say I don’t want it to be?”

“I don’t want it to be either.” It wasn’t the reply she’d expected, and she got the feeling it wasn’t the one he’d meant to give. She thought there were tears in his eyes. “I’d like you to stay with me. Live with me. Make love to me every night. I’d like that a lot.”

“Then ask me, Connor. Just ask me. We’ll get out of here right now, tonight, drop that notebook off with your boss on our way.”

A little muscle in his jaw twitched. He averted his eyes, and his next words came as if he were forcing them out. “I can’t.”

She shoved his chest with both hands, so he stumbled a step or two away from her. “Damn you, Connor Romano! I don’t deserve this. You know I don’t.”

“I know.”

“Then tell me why.”

Her voice had grown softer, squeezing through a smaller space as her throat tightened.

There was regret in his eyes, though, and the anger went out of her, leaving her deflated.

She sank into the chair again, out of strength.

Her fight was gone. Only heartache and confusion remained.

He didn’t want to do this, to end what was beginning between them. So why was he?

Connor came around the table, closed his hands on her shoulders. She didn’t resist as he pulled her close to him. Her face pressed to his hard belly. “Don’t ever think it was you,” he whispered. “It’s about me.”

She swallowed hard, refusing to cry as she pushed away from him.

She stood again, her legs wobbling, and she meant to turn away, to put some distance between them, but he kissed her.

He kissed her and her insides melted and her mind just emptied.

He kissed her with his mouth and with his teeth and with his tongue, and the way he held her made her think he never wanted to let go.

She shook her head, finally managing to take a single step away from him. The air felt cold without his arms around her. “I can’t.”

“Lexi—”

“No, Connor. If it’s over, it’s over. I’ve spent my whole life loving a man who couldn’t love me back and I’ve been repeating the pattern with you. I’m done with that. I deserve … more.”

The look that flashed in his eyes could have been pride, but there was pain, too. She saw it very clearly.

“You could love me, you know,” she told him. “But you won’t let yourself, will you?”

“I …” He couldn’t seem to look into her eyes for more than a second. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice tortured and coarse.

She took a deep breath, stiffened her spine. “I’m not going to beg.” Closing her eyes, searching inside for strength, she forced herself to end this torment, to say the final words, to break free. “I’d like to leave tonight.”

He lowered his head in acceptance when what she wanted the idiot to do was beg her to stay.

“That’s probably for the best.”

So this was it. It was over.

But not my life. My life is just beginning, really.

She was free of a father who’d done nothing but belittle her. She was free of the warped self-image she’d dragged through life like a ball and chain. She was free of the secrets of her birth.

She’d finally discovered the woman she truly was, and she liked that woman. Dr. Lexi Stoltz. Smart, strong, brave, capable of outsmarting international terrorists. She could get through anything.

“Even this,” she whispered, and cleared her throat when Connor only frowned at her. “I’ll go back to the clinic where I used to work, before all this. For a while anyway. I need to practice medicine again. I didn’t realize how much I’ve missed it.”

His head came up. “I’ll book a flight out for you. Tomorrow.”

She shook her head. “I told you, I want to leave tonight.”

He drew a breath, pinned her with his gaze. “You are leaving tonight.”

“I don’t?—”

Her words were cut off by a knock on the door.

Connor stared at her a moment longer, and she saw the anguish in his eyes. Then he turned away, pulled the gun from his waistband, and went to the door. Standing to one side, he asked, “Who is it?”

“Darren,” a voice answered.

Connor nodded and opened the door. The man who entered was a head shorter than him and about fifty pounds heavier.

His hair stuck up straight in a snowy brush cut and his eyes were baby blue.

His first act, after closing the door behind him, was to clasp Connor’s hand in both of his.

“You look good, my friend. I knew working a case would agree with you.”

“I said to give me two hours,” Connor said.

“And I said White’s in town. Do you want her safe, or don’t you?”

Connor nodded, then glanced toward Lexi. She’d been trying to knuckle her eyes dry without being obvious.

“Lexi Stoltz, Darren Wade.”

She nodded, muttering hello while searching Connor’s face. Something was going on here.

“The formula?” the newcomer asked.

Connor nodded, then got the spiral notebook from where he’d tucked it under the mattress. Lexi couldn’t help sucking a breath through her teeth when he handed it over.

The men heard it and he looked at her quickly. “It’s okay, Lexi. I trust Darren with my life.”

“And have, a time or two,” Darren Wade said, and the men exchanged a familiar look. There were a hundred remembered stories in that one look. “It’s all right, Miz Stoltz. I know this is difficult. Believe me, you’ll be as safe as if you were in your own mother’s arms.”

She blinked at the reference to her mother, then frowned as the rest of his words sank in. “What do you mean?” Her gaze flicked back to Connor. “What's going on?”

“I want you to go with Darren, Lexi.” He put his hands on her shoulders and she got the feeling it was more to make sure she wouldn’t run from the room than to comfort or reassure her. “He’s taking you to a secure location for the night. By tomorrow it should be safe for you to go home.”

She pulled free of his hands, shaking her head. “This doesn’t make any sense. It’s over now. You gave him the notebook.”

“White has no way of knowing that,” he said.

She blinked slowly, her mind racing. And then suddenly, she got it. “You don’t want him to know. You think he’s going to come after you tonight, don’t you? And you want me out of the way.”

Connor said nothing, but he broke eye contact, looking down at the floor. She blinked back tears and went to stand face-to-face with Darren Wade. “If you’re really his friend, you won’t let him do this. He’s not going to arrest White, he’s going to execute him or die trying. You can’t let him?—”

“Now, calm down, Miz Stoltz. Romano isn’t gonna do anything foolish. I’m not gonna let him lie in wait all by himself. He’ll have backup and plenty of it. White will be arrested and brought to justice.”

Dread settled heavy in the pit of her stomach. “Don’t do this, Connor.”

Darren kept right on talking, as if unaware of the emotional undercurrents snapping in the air.

“Go with him. Lexi, for God’s sake, don’t make this any harder than it is.”

She shook her head. “No.”

Darren Wade’s fleshy hand closed on her arm gently. “I’m sorry, Miz Stoltz. Try to understand, White’s responsible for mass murders, bombings, assassinations, kidnappings. We can’t risk him escaping again, no matter what we have to do to prevent it.”

She tugged her arm away, annoyed at him getting between her and Connor. “I said no . ”

“I have the authority to arrest you, Miz?—”

“It’s Doctor Stoltz,” she snapped, and then her gaze flew to Connor’s.

“I’m sorry, Lexi. It’s for your own protection.”

She looked at him in stark disbelief, and the pain in his eyes almost brought her to her knees. “It’s a choice. You know that, don’t you? It’s a choice between a chance at living again, and your vendetta against White.”

He lowered his head. “This is something I have to do.”

So he knew. He understood. And he was choosing hatred over love. “Do you know how good it could have been between us?” she whispered. “Do you have any idea what you’re throwing away?”

“Yeah.” His voice was so choked it was barely audible. “Yeah, I do.”

“I was falling in love with you.”

“Goodbye, Lexi.”

His words stung. Tears surged into her eyes, and she bit her lip to stop it from trembling. She didn’t have any idea how to fight this, or what she could do to change his mind.

Darren Wade closed the lid and picked up the pizza box. “You’re done with this, right?”

Then he patted Lexi’s shoulder in a fatherly gesture and keeping it there, steered her out of the room, into the hallway. She held Connor’s gaze until they stepped into the elevator, and when the doors slid closed, it felt as if they sliced her heart in half.