Page 43 of Hung Up (Shadow Ridge #1)

“This is the main house where we all grew up,” Stevie informs me, speaking loud enough for me to hear her before we roll to a stop next to a yellow pickup truck.

“Although it’s been renovated, of course.

Mom is the only one who lives here now that my house is finally built.

I’m on the east corner of the property since Addie and Nash needed to be closer to the barn.

” Jesse pulls up, parking beside us and shutting off his four-wheeler.

“Gets a little lonely sometimes since I’m so far away.

I still don’t understand why a certain someone had to go and pick the south corner, considering he rides bulls, not horses. ”

“You’re still on that?” We climb off and meet Jesse at the bottom of the porch steps. It’s only then that I notice there’s six rocking chairs, not five. “Dad delegated, I didn’t pick.”

She scoffs, pushing open the front door without knocking. “Yeah, well, you could’ve told Mom, ‘Hey, since Stevie has a horse she rides all the time that stays in the barn and I ride thousand-pound death machines, she can build closer to the barn’.”

The house takes my breath away as we step inside.

It’s an open floor plan with vaulted ceilings and wood beams crisscrossing to make the space appear larger.

The living room off to my right has a large fireplace, the brick going all the way up to the ceiling, with a television mounted above it.

There’s a sectional large enough to fit all four siblings with two love seats on either side, circling a beautiful glass coffee table.

Straight ahead is the kitchen with dark brown wood cabinets and an island bigger than my bedroom.

The floor-to-ceiling windows bring in plenty of natural light, but I still don’t miss the gorgeous hanging lights over the island or the lights built into the ceiling above the countertops.

There’s a hallway that I can’t even fathom going down as I catch sight of the enormous dining room table.

You’d think they had twelve children with this table, not four.

Pictures hang up everywhere. Photos of the siblings at all stages of life, pictures of construction, which I’m assuming is from the ranch, and pictures of his parents from when they were young, to their wedding day, to not long before he passed.

This is what a home is supposed to feel like.

Except maybe a little bit smaller—for me at least.

“Are you two really still having this conversation?” A new voice calls out. A tall blonde rounds the corner, emerging from a hallway off to the right. “I thought we moved past this years ago.”

She’s my height, which makes me feel a little less out of place, considering Stevie’s smaller five-foot-three stature.

It’s obvious that this is their older sister, Addie.

It’s almost like I’m looking at an early thirties version of their mother—blonde hair, oval face with a sharp chin, a nose that hooks a little at the end, and freckles dancing across her cheeks.

The only thing these three share is the same piercing green eyes.

Stevie has dark brown hair that’s been dyed to fade to blonde at the ends, and I have a sneaking suspicion it’s to look a little more like her mother and sister. From glancing at the picture frame with their father, it’s obvious that Jesse got his looks from him over his mother.

“Okay, time for some ground rules,” Loretta says from her spot at the stove as she turns around to look at the four of us.

“No arguing about the houses, no talking about any of your sexual habits,” Addie's brows shoot up at that one, “and for the love of all that is holy, no swearing in this house. Got it?”

The three siblings nod in unison, and the sight makes me laugh through my nose.

Jesse glances at me and winks before he walks up to his mother, leaving me with his sisters.

Addie walks over and holds out her arms, letting me decide whether or not I want to step into them.

Shrugging, I close the distance and step into her embrace, a brief and welcoming exchange.

“I’m Addie.” She smiles, and I can’t help but feel a little envious of her smile—it seems all the Hayes children were blessed with beautiful, straight, white teeth. “You must be Faith. It’s so great to finally meet you. I’ve watched a few of your interviews.”

“You have?” She nods, and I find my grin mimicking hers. “Which ones?”

“You covered a few boxing matches a couple years ago.” Considering I only covered boxing for two short months in my entire career, I know exactly what she’s talking about.

Boxing was a little too gruesome for me.

“When Jesse finally told us your name, I ended up watching a few of those, too. It’s really impressive how you’re able to throw yourself into any sport you’re handed. ”

I can feel Jesse’s eyes on my back as a blush creeps into my cheeks. “Thank you, that means a lot.”

Before she can respond, Jesse appears beside us, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “Well, you girls will have to make plans to chat some other time. We’re going back to my place.”

I frown. “I thought we were having dinner here?”

“Plans changed a little for me tomorrow while you were chatting with Stevie, so I want to make you dinner tonight, instead. We’ll have dinner here tomorrow.”

“Yeah, not a chance, brother,” Stevie replies, her hands on her hips. “You just got here. You get to see her all the time; she’s staying. You’re more than welcome to go home, though.”

I’m about to open my mouth, but Addie beats me to it. “She’s right, you know. You brought her here to meet us, not to hide her away in your house.”

“Technically, this was supposed to be my two days with her. Meeting you guys was just an unfortunate result.” I can’t believe he’s pouting right now.

“An unfortunate result?” Stevie looks genuinely offended and takes what I think is supposed to be a threatening step closer to her brother. “The only unfortunate thing for her is having to deal with you.”

“Guys,” Addie starts, trying to get them to stop, but Jesse removes his arm around me and closes the gap between him and his sister so they’re toe to toe.

Stevie’s neck cranes back as she looks up at him. Her eyes narrow and her shoulders roll back, so I take a small step to the side so they can see me as I say, “Are you two really fighting over me right now?”

“Why don’t you come over here, honey?” Loretta calls from her spot at the stove. “Tell me what you think of this.”

Jesse and Stevie are chest to chest now, yelling over one another to try and get in the last word.

I roll my eyes and leave them to it, heading into the kitchen and joining Loretta.

As I approach her side, she holds a wooden spoon in my direction that has some red sauce on it.

The second it lands on my tastebuds, I swear I’m in heaven and have to fight the moan from slipping past my lips.

“That is the best sauce I’ve ever tasted in my life,” I tell her as she goes back to stirring, a large, satisfied smile on her surprisingly smooth face. “If I knew the first thing about cooking, I would ask for your recipe.”

“Your mother never taught you?”

I hesitate, my mouth opening and closing for a brief moment.

How much do I tell her? Do I really want to divulge the details of my childhood with her?

But one look at her face and I find myself crumbling.

Loretta has that motherly aura that immediately pulls you in, making you want to tell her everything—your fears, worries, concerns—because you just know she’ll take care of you.

God, I’ve missed that.

“She never really had the time,” I start, trying to get myself comfortable with opening up about this part of my life with someone else. “I mean, I was an only child, but she had…other things she had to worry about.”

Loretta gives me her full attention, the spoon now resting on a small dish on the countertop as she faces me. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, honey. I didn’t mean to pry.”

“No, it’s okay.” I glance behind me to see Jesse and Stevie in the living room, having an arm wrestle on the coffee table.

I take a deep breath, turning back around.

“My father, well, he cheated on my mother. A lot. He also got really angry when he was drunk. It rarely ever got physical, but he was really good at beating her down emotionally. And since she refused to leave him because she didn’t want me growing up in a split household, I spent more time being her shoulder to cry on and trying to protect her than I did actually being a kid.

So, no. She didn’t really have the time to teach me. ”

I prepare myself for sympathy, for an onslaught of I’m sorry’s and hugs in an attempt to comfort me.

But much to my surprise, I don’t get that.

Instead, Loretta takes off her apron and slips it over my head, spinning me to tie the string behind my back.

Once it’s secure, she reaches for my hand and leads me over to the adjoining counter where one uncut yellow pepper lies amongst a set of chopped ones.

“Why don’t you cut that pepper for me, and I’ll get the ingredients you need for the dip?”

Nodding, I wordlessly grab the knife and begin to cut the pepper in front of me. It’s not until I’m halfway done that I realize what Loretta did—distract me.

“You know, one of the scariest things to ever happen to me was seeing my first positive pregnancy test,” Loretta tells me, sliding up next to me with some ingredients and a large bowl.

“I never really knew if I wanted to have kids, just figured if it did ever happen to me, that it was meant to be. But staring at that positive was horrifying. I didn’t feel ready at all.

I mean, having to be in charge and take care of this tiny little six-pound being? ”

She shakes her head, but a smile tugs her mouth upward.

“I was so scared that I would mess up and get it wrong.

I mean, as a parent, you are single-handedly in charge of shaping a whole other human being.

You live in this constant fear of doing the wrong thing and potentially ruining their life.

Being a parent is one of the most rewarding yet scariest things you can be on this planet.

“But the fear of doing it alone? That outweighed all my other fears.” Loretta rests a hip against the counter, her focus solely on me.

“We as parents want nothing more than to get everything right and to do well by our children. But sometimes we fall short, and our own fears get the better of us. We don’t always make the right choices, sometimes it feels like we rarely ever do.

” She looks past me just as the front door opens, a man who looks an awful lot like Jesse—except taller and more muscular—sauntering in and heading straight for the other three.

When I glance back at her, there’s a mist in her eyes, and I swear she sees them as babies as she gazes lovingly at them.

It makes my heart ache.

“All we can do is hope that those negative experiences still help to shape them into the people they’re meant to be.

As much as it kills me to say this, not every bad experience is truly a bad one.

” Her gaze shifts back to me, and suddenly my own eyes fill with tears.

“Every single thing you’ve had to go through has shaped you into the woman you are today, and that woman?

” She cups my face between her hands, her thumbs catching the stray tears that have begun to fall.

“She already seems pretty damn special to me.”

“You can’t possibly know that,” I tell her through a sad, wet chuckle.

But she just shrugs. “I do. Trust me, Faith. A mother knows.”

“What if I can never let it go?” I whisper, the question that tumbles out of me surprising me. “What if that experience and all my other ones make it impossible for me to ever be…” Loved . “Happy?”

“Oh, sweet girl,” Loretta says softly, brushing the loose tendrils of hair behind my ears before letting her hands fall to my shoulders.

“Someone will come along and fix all those broken pieces you think you have. They’ll put you back together, and then they’ll earn your love.

The right person will walk into your life and prove to you that being happy can be the easiest thing in the world.

Believe me when I say there is someone out there for you who will make you wonder why you ever doubted love in the first place. ”

The sound of laughter draws our attention to the living room where Jesse and his brother are now in a heap on the floor, Stevie and Addie cheering for each brother respectively. And as Jesse leaps to his feet and turns to me with a large smile, only one thought rings true through my head.

I think I’ve already found him.