Page 38 of Hung Up (Shadow Ridge #1)

SIOUX FALLS

who said I was yours?

I was tossing and turning all night. I couldn’t stop replaying my moment with Jesse.

The way he put the blame on me didn’t really surprise me—I knew he was having a tough time with the whole friends-with-benefits thing and then his injury, so him needing someone to lash out on was inevitable, and it made sense that it be me.

He was willing to take my anger once before, I could do it for him—even if I did snap back and tell him not to blame me.

But him saying he wants to back out of our arrangement hit me harder than I thought.

He knew what he was getting into when we started this. We both did. And somehow I’m the only one who could take a step back, reevaluate my feelings, put a lid on it, and step back into this thing with him with a clear and level head.

Yet, have I? Or am I just lying to myself?

I found myself going crazy when my texts went unanswered after we left Albuquerque.

I blew up Kai’s phone in hopes that he had heard from Jesse, only to discover that he had gone radio silent on everybody.

There was even a point where I was looking up how long a drive it was to Aspen Creek.

I had no idea where their ranch was, but I knew if I asked anyone in town, they could tell me.

I had my bags packed and everything, but Rylie talked me out of it.

Not knowing how he was doing was torture. I knew he’d still come to the arena—the last thing he would do is fail to show up and support his friends. But when I heard he had pulled a bull to ride, I was hit with so many emotions that it took me by surprise. Anger, sadness, fear.

I wasn’t lying when I told Rylie I cared about Jesse. I do, there’s no denying that. But I care for all the bull riders and their well-being.

But the way that his words hit me last night, how angry I was when he put that blame on me, and how disappointed and sad I became when he said he wanted to put an end to us, I realized maybe I do care about him in a different way than the others.

However, I’m the only one who seems able to keep that locked down.

A knock on the door pulls me out of my thoughts.

When I pull it open, I see a worker holding a bouquet of daisies.

I have half a mind to reject them or throw them away, but I find myself carrying them into the room and setting the vase down on the dresser.

The card is staring at me, begging me to open it, and I can’t seem to resist.

I’m not one to make excuses, so I won’t give you any. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.

I stare at the card for a minute, trying to wrap my head around it. Do I fully believe he’s sorry? Yes, I do. And will I forgive him? Most likely. But what’s still up in the air is where we stand. Will we continue our deal, or won’t we?

Everyone always says to listen to what someone says when they’re drunk or angry—that is when their real feelings will surface. And Jesse made it perfectly clear in his anger that he doesn’t want to keep sleeping with me.

Now it’s just a matter of whether I’m strong enough to make him stick to his word, or if I’ll cave the second he says he wants me.

Due to an issue with the arena—Rylie texted to say there’s some kind of scandal going on, while Wyatt claims there was some problem with the lighting and sound system—rides were canceled for tonight, meaning everyone ended up downtown to go bar hopping.

Of course Maxine dragged me out of my hotel room, not taking no for an answer.

So here I am, in a crowded bar I don’t want to be at, surrounded by bull riders I would rather not talk to, in the lounge clothes that she told me were fine to go out in—leggings, a white crop top, and my hair up in a messy bun.

God, sometimes I wish I could just say no.

“Come on, Faith. Loosen up,” Maxine says as she shoves a glass into my hand. “You look like you just had a fight with your boyfriend or something.”

“Or something,” I mumble, bringing the straw to my lips and taking a sip. A vodka soda, because hard liquor is exactly what I need tonight.

“What was that?”

I wave it off. “So, how’s work going for you?”

“Amazing,” she states, brightening with excitement as she turns to give me her full attention. “I never thought I’d like photographing bull-riding, but I’ve gotten some really amazing shots so far this season. My portfolio is going to blow everyone else out of the water.”

“I’m happy for you.”

She grins. “What about you? I know you were sceptical and hesitant when you got here, but it seems like you’ve really found a home here.”

A home. Is that what this feeling has been?

Back in the office, I always tried to be the best—to beat everyone else to the next best story to get my name out there.

People in the sports world knew who I was.

Athletes would stop me in the street or come up to me in a bar and thank me for an article I had written about them, and fans loved to read my articles.

But it was a habit, a routine. One I loved, but one I did because it’s what I had to do.

But here? Despite how everything started, although I was a fish out of water, I’ve found comfort in being here, in this assignment.

It’s something new, different. Something that pulls me out of my comfort zone but makes me feel like I’m making some type of difference.

All of my past articles were starting to get repetitive, predictable.

It was the same types of stories for the same sports, and while the fans loved it, I was truthfully starting to lose my passion for the job.

This assignment has sparked something new in me. Something I haven’t felt in a long time.

Excitement.

“It’s definitely weird to say, but I think I’m extremely comfortable here.” Her megawatt smile only grows. “I mean, it’s an odd sport, and one I never thought I’d be covering, but it’s actually difficult to imagine myself going back to anything else.”

“Damn it,” I hear Kai say from behind me as he approaches us, slinging an arm over my shoulders. “I owe you twenty bucks.”

I glance between them. “What were you betting on?”

“Kai here thought you wouldn’t ever fully enjoy this assignment of yours.” I turn to look at him with narrowed eyes.

“Hey, in my defense, you’ve been very up and down on how you feel about us.”

I can’t help it as I roll my eyes. “It’s not all of you, it’s one particular rider. The rest of you are fine.”

“Still not getting along, huh?”

I’ve never truly talked to Kai about anything that’s transpired between Jesse and me since we agreed to keep it a secret.

I believe that he’s stuck to his end of the bargain in that department, too.

But I can’t help but suddenly wonder what everyone else thinks is going on with us and how it must look to the others.

“We have our moments,” is what I end up responding with a shrug. “Some days he’s fine and others I want to wring his neck.”

“If it makes you feel any better, you get under his skin, too.”

No, it doesn’t make me feel any better. “I just wish we could be adults, that’s all.”

“I just think that?—”

“Sorry to interrupt,” a deep, masculine voice says from behind us.

Kai and I turn around, coming face to face with an extremely gorgeous man who, if I hadn’t been dealing with a certain pain in my ass bull rider, I would’ve normally jumped at the opportunity to try and take home.

“I’m Eli. I was wondering if I could buy you a drink? ”

Kai looks at me with a raised brow, so I respond with a nod, needing some type of distraction.

He turns and grabs Maxine’s hand, leading her toward the other end of the bar despite her protests.

Turning back to Eli, I take a moment to really take him in.

He’s got dark black hair and tanned skin, freckles dancing across his nose and cheeks much like my own.

He’s extremely muscular, his biceps straining against the sleeves of his shirt, and he stands at about six foot three.

Again, normally my type of man.

“I’d love a beer.” I set the half-drank glass down on the bartop. “And I’m Faith.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Faith.”

I smile. “Pleasure is all mine.”

Just as he’s about to flag down the bartender, I feel a hand settle on my lower back, and I jump slightly.

But the moment I look over my shoulder, I wish I hadn’t.

‘Cause there’s Jesse, his hair tousled and messy, his green eyes mesmerizing, with that signature smirk on his face, which has me narrowing my eyes.

“Sorry, she’s taken, man.” Eli turns and looks Jesse up and down in a calculated way.

I’m about to open my mouth, to tell Jesse to fuck off and not ruin my chances to talk to this nice man when Eli speaks up.

“Sorry, man. I didn’t realize.” He looks down at me. “It was nice meeting you.”

As he walks off, I spin on my barstool and hit Jesse in the chest, but much to my disdain, he doesn’t budge. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? You have no right to?—”

“No right?” There’s an edge to his voice that I’m not used to hearing. “Last time I checked, you are technically taken. We agreed our deal was an exclusive one.”

“And you ended our deal, so who said I was yours?”

“Yeah, well, I lied.” His hands fist slightly against his sides, and I see the distress start to appear in the furrow between his brows. “I don’t want it to end. I’m sorry, Faith. I shouldn’t have said what I said. If I could take it all back, I would.”

If I could take it all back, I would. That’s the same thing Adam said to me when he came to my apartment a week after we had broken up before he begged for me to take him back. And that thought, that memory? It sends me into a rage I wasn’t expecting.