Page 44 of How You See Me (You and Me Duology #2)

“I ended up on a bench outside some all-night diner, staring at an old, flickering streetlight. I was empty, angry, scared, and trapped in my own head. And then I saw it.”

“The moth,” she whispers.

I nod. “Tiny and battered, it wasn’t strong enough to combat the breeze.

But it kept flying. Kept crashing against the glass and bouncing off, chasing the light no matter what—even though it was barely there.

In that moment, I thought of Ava." My gaze lingers on the faint orange glow of the sun behind the canyon walls. So peaceful. So different than the never-ending storm inside me. "She keeps fighting. Keeps smiling. Her faith in the world hasn’t wavered, even when she’s hooked up to tubes and too tired to get out of bed.

She never stops seeking the light, even when it’s dark.

” Appreciation for all she’s taught me, settles deep in my chest and calms a few rolling clouds.

“And I knew I needed to hold on to that. I needed to remember.”

Josie’s fingers trace the wings again, her expression thoughtful.

“When I explained it to the artist, he took one look at me and sketched this. A moth with tattered wings, tough, and battle-scarred, but still fighting.”

“That’s your entire family."

“And yours.”

She blinks up at me, surprised by the new realization. “You’re right. Jordan never stopped soaring after all the scares you two had overseas, after his accident, or when he thought he’d lost Nora.”

“And even though fear ruled your decisions and tragedy struck more than anyone should have to endure, you built a beautiful life. You’re still fighting and chasing your dreams.”

Tears pool, but she doesn’t let them fall. My beautiful warrior. “I can’t tell you how much your belief means to me. You really get me, don’t you?”

I lift her chin with a finger and press my lips to hers. “I get that you’re unstoppable.” Another kiss. “And extraordinary.” One more. “And stronger than you give yourself credit for.”

She smiles through tears and climbs into my lap as my phone buzzes in my pocket.

“Terrible timing,” I grumble, fishing it out .

Not recognizing the number, I silence it and hold Josie close, savoring the love and acceptance she gives so freely, until the guide calls us back to the trail.

As we ride into the fading light, I realize the heavy darkness that once followed me is gone. Not completely. Not for good. But enough to feel steady. Lighter. To find clarity.

I know what I want, who I want, and what I need to do.

I’m ready to retire. Ready to start living again.

And with Josie by my side, I know I’ll always find the light.

◆◆◆

The drive to our camping spot in the national park takes longer than planned.

Traffic crawls. The signs are impossible to read in the dark.

And by the time I cut the engine, Josie and I are on the verge of combusting from sheer need.

I’m running on fumes, but nothing—absolutely nothing—will stop me from ravishing this woman tonight.

We spend the next hour rediscovering each other as if it’s our first time all over again. Every kiss feels new. Every touch, another promise.

Later, we take the blankets and pillows to the roof and finish the night under the stars.

Josie drapes a leg over mine and snuggles under my arm, right where she belongs.

“I can’t wait to have a place where we can do this whenever the mood strikes,” I confess .

“Mmm.” She nuzzles closer. “Where do you want to settle down?”

I place a hand behind my head and stare up at the endless, dotted sky. “Somewhere with privacy, obviously.”

“Obviously.”

I kiss her head. “Views I’ll never tire of and close to both our families.”

“Well, Richmond can’t check two of those boxes. Guess we’re heading to the Shenandoah Valley between Richmond and your mom’s house in Northern Virginia.”

“You don’t care where we go?”

“No,” she answers quickly. “I just need you, a place to paint, and a short drive to the people we love.”

I press another kiss to her temple, my heart mending. “That’s all I need too.”

◆◆◆

My eyelids burn, like I’m back in the desert, scorched and defenseless under a punishing sun. I squint, cracking my eyes open, but it’s too bright—way past sunrise.

That never happens. I always wake before the city does.

Blinking against the glare, I pat around blindly for my phone. Nothing.

Shit.

I must have left it in the van. Last night, the only thing on my mind was Josie—her love, her passion, the unfiltered way she whispered my name the second we parked.

I shift to climb over her toward the ladder .

“Where are you going?” she mumbles, half-asleep and tugging at my shorts to pull me back down.

“To find my phone. I must have left it inside.”

She yawns. “Is something wrong?”

“I just don’t want to miss any updates.”

That awakens her fully. She sits up, the blanket drifting to her lap. “Okay. Let’s go find it.”

We climb down together, and it doesn’t take long to find it right where I left it on the dash.

I flick on the screen, and the world stops spinning.

I can’t breathe. The van suddenly feels too small, the air too thick.

Three missed calls. One voicemail.

“Hayes,” she says again, gently easing the phone from my hand. “Who’s Raidyn?”

“The oldest of my sisters.”

“She called three times last night.”

“I know.” My pounding head falls into my hands. My body rocks, trying to absorb a thousand unspoken fears. “I can’t . . .”

“There’s a message. Want me to play it?”

“Yes,” I whisper, though my head shakes.

“I’m going to play it,” she confirms delicately and climbs onto my lap in the driver’s seat, cradling me as if she knows I might shatter at any moment.

I don’t move, I barely exist, as she presses play.

“Hayes,” Raidyn’s voice comes through the speaker, laced with a tone that sends goosebumps down my arms. She takes a shaky breath, and I wish I could do the same. I can’t seem to force air into my own lungs. “Ava was admitted to the hospital. Mom found her unconscious on the floor in her room.”

Josie gasps, her hand flying to her mouth, but I’m numb. My heart races, desperately pumping blood through my hollow body.

“Mom wanted to call you herself, but as you can imagine, she’s shaken.

Don’t worry,” Raidyn says quickly. “I’m with her.

Kayla and Victoria are driving in tomorrow.

And . . .” She hesitates, making my thoughts spiral.

I brace myself and wait for her to say the unspeakable. Something I won’t recover from.

I never could have expected her to say, “Dad’s here, too.”

Every muscle fires at once. I lift Josie off my lap, gently setting her in the passenger seat before jumping from the van. My legs are already moving before I can think of the consequences.

“Hayes, wait—”

Rage and confusion tangles in my chest. I spin to face her. “Our father’s there? What the hell?”

She stops and holds up the phone. “There’s more in the message.”

“Let me guess,” I snap, not meaning to. “Don’t come home until I’ve finished the trip.”

Josie flinches, her focus falling away. “Yeah,” she whispers. “That’s what she said . . . in so many words.”

“I’m so fucking tired of hearing that.” I drag both hands through my hair and pull hard, giving me a different pain to feel.

Why didn’t they tell him to stay away? Why does he get to be by their side, and I don’t?

Josie steps closer, tentative and cautious, but determined. “I know it hurts. What can I do?”

“I need to . . .” I trail off, biting back the words because they hurt too damn much to say out loud, much less think. I'm being pulled apart, ripping down the middle. “I want to be in two places at once.”

“Raidyn said not to come until they know more. Maybe she’ll call by the time we reach Vegas. No need to decide now.”

“I’m sorry, Josie.”

She nods, understanding my mind is made up and gently places the phone into my hand. “Then, let’s get back on the road.”

She’s trying to be strong for me, but I hear the tremble in her voice. I see the tiny fractures in her armor.

And it’s taking everything I have not to drop to my knees. Not to scream. Not to tug her into my arms and cry until I’m reduced to nothing.

But I can’t.

Ava needs me.

And Josie—she’s already breaking just to keep me whole.

◆◆ ◆

While Josie packs up the van, I step away to call Raidyn. My hand shakes as I press the phone to my ear.

It rings twice.

“I hate this,” she says in greeting.

“Tell me about it.”

“How are you, Hayes?”

“Barely holding it together. Did she wake up?”

“She did. Early this morning,” Raidyn says gently, as if bracing me for what’s coming next.

Still, relief surges through me. “Do they know what caused it?”

“Maybe a reaction to her medication. Or . . .”

“Or what?”

“A heart condition.”

“A heart—” The words stick in my throat like shards of glass. “You’re saying she could have a heart condition now? Jesus, Raidyn.”

“It’s only speculation, but yeah.” Her voice fades. “It’s a lot.”

“A lot? It’s too much.” My voice rises before I can stop it. “First Dad shows up like he didn’t abandon us, and now Ava’s heart might be failing? What the hell?”

I close my eyes and squeeze the bridge of my nose as a fresh wave of guilt pulses there.

“I’m sorry. I know this isn’t your fault.” I force my rage to settle with a long breath, sheer willpower making it happen. Not because I feel it less. “I can’t pretend I’m okay anymore. ”

“I know.” Raidyn’s voice cracks from her own emotions. “I’m barely holding it together myself.” She’s silent for a beat. “If it helps, she asked for you.”

That doesn’t help. It makes it infinitely worse.

Weakened from knowing I can't show up for her, I lean against a nearby tree and use it to guide me to the ground. My head falls into my hands. “She asked for me?”

“Of course, she did. She misses her favorite person.”

Tears sting, and I blink hard to stop them. “I miss her, too. All of you. I wish I was there.”

“Don’t lie. You’d miss out on this time with Josie.”

A crunch of footsteps behind me lets me know Josie’s approaching.

“It’s about time you let someone in,” Raidyn continues. “She must be special.”

“Understatement of the year.”

“I can’t wait to meet her. Hurry home to us, Hayes. It’s been long enough.”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to do, Ray. But everyone tells me to stay away.”

“You’re giving Ava something to look forward to each day. You’re the only one who can do that.”

“I could do the same by her side.”

“Maybe, but it’s time to find out. Finish her trip and come home.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can. Love you, sis.”

“Love you more, Sprinkles .” She lets out a weighted chuckle before ending the call .

I get back to Josie waiting nearby, arms crossed like a shield. “Everything okay?” she asks from a safe distance away and I hate that. But I can’t summon the strength to change it either.

“They think it’s either her medication or a heart issue. Too early to tell.”

“That poor child.”

“I need to get home.”

Her gaze lifts from the ground to me. “You’re not going to California?”

“I am, but I can’t afford any more detours.”

“I’ll ask Grant to check on my room. Maybe it can be ready early. If not, I’ll crash with him.”

Standing, I take her in my arms, hating this distance already forming between us. “I’m sorry.”

“For what? Ava and your family need you.” She wipes away a tear as it falls. “Come on. We’re wasting time.”

She moves toward the van, but I catch her hand. “Josie.”

Stepping up to me, she places her palm on my cheek. “It’s okay, Hayes.”

But I’m not.

And the truth echoes in her eyes.

Neither of us are okay.