Page 15 of How You See Me (You and Me Duology #2)

Hayes

J osie and her tiny outfits are going to be the death of me. Thankfully, I passed out last night. If I’d known she was stripping out of those bulky sweats and into that thin pajama set within reach, I don’t think I’d be standing here right now. Pretty sure my heart would’ve given out.

Touching her again had been game-changing enough. Like putting my hands into a fire. I can still feel the sting this morning—phantom burns I’ll carry for days. And her skin is another sinful flame cloaked in satin.

“Ready,” she sings, jumping out of the ladies’ shower building eleven minutes after her promised time. She poses with one hand on a hip and the other flung into the air. Tight maroon leggings. A white, off-the shoulder tee with pink cowboy boots sketched on the front. “What do you think? ”

I sift through the abundance of choice words flooding my brain for something more appropriate. “It fits you.”

Everything about her is bright and unfiltered.

The exact opposite of me. Maybe that’s why I notice every subtle detail about her ever-changing emotions—studders in her breathing, voice inflections, eyes like a mirror into her thoughts—and why they all fluctuate.

She’s an open book, and one I shouldn’t be reading as easily and often as I do.

I wish all her glittery energy annoyed me, but I find myself wanting more.

To flip the next page of Josie Jones and keep reading late into the night.

“Is that another one of your auto-responses?” she asks with an eye roll. Yet another thing that should grate against my nerves, but I find cute as hell. “ No , great , and it fits .”

“Guess so.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t balk at my rollercoaster request.” She practically skips along with my stride.

“What do you mean?”

“I didn’t expect you to want to ride, that’s all.”

“Because they’re fun?”

She grins, giving me a side-eye. “Something like that.”

“I know how to have fun, Josie.”

“But do you? Ever?”

It’s a fair question. Truth is, I don’t remember the last time I did anything fun just for the hell of it. Not since Ava got sick. Not since Jordan’s accident before that. My life’s been one long stretch of tragedy and survival.

Work used to be my escape. It isn’t anymore.

“I'll admit it’s been a while. ”

“Then you must allow yourself to have fun today.” Those long damn eyelashes flutter, eyes reflecting too much hope.

I can’t say no to that face. “I’ll try.”

She squeals, a high-pitched shockwave I wasn’t ready for and my muscles revolt.

“I’m so excited. Aren’t you?”

“So excited.” I go to rub my temple and press the headache away, but she grabs my hand.

“Try that again.” She walks backward, our intertwined hands swinging between us.

“I can’t wait?” I try, fake smile and all.

“You look constipated.”

“Insulting me isn’t going to help.”

“Fine. Along with your sense of humor, we’ll work on showing your emotions.” She skips back to my side. “What are you feeling right now?”

Like my damn arm is about to explode . She’s got a tight grip on my hand and it’s all I can focus on. All my emotions and energy are going toward making sure I don’t bring attention to it. “Stressed.”

Her bottom lip pokes out, which somehow makes it worse. “Fun isn’t supposed to take so much effort.”

It is when every nerve in your body is telling you to do things you’ve sworn yourself not to. “I’m out of practice, remember?”

“Right. In that case, I’ll take the lead. Your only job is to ignore your normal impulse and say yes instead.”

I stop, and she spins to face me. “What if you suggest something I don’t want to do? ”

Her head tilts in a don’t be stupid glare. “You never want to do anything, Hayes. It’s your whole vibe.”

“That’s not—”

“Just think of me as your tour guide. When you book an excursion, you follow the guide. That’s why you pay them—to lead the way and show you a good time.”

“I’m not paying you to torture me.”

“It’s a metaphor, big guy.” She taps my chest with her free hand, and I still can’t figure out why she’s attached to me with the other. “Get onboard.”

We continue moving toward the van, but slower now.

“Just don’t embarrass me.”

“I promise. Scouts honor.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better. You already said you were never a Girl Scout.”

“Fun isn’t scary, Hayes.”

“I think your version of fun might be.”

“Guess we’ll find out, won’t we?”

“What about you?” I ask, almost daring her. “Are you willing to do something outside of your comfort zone?”

Her eyes grow wide with surprise before accepting that she can’t expect from me what she’s not willing to give. “Okay.” She quickly points at me. “As long as it doesn’t involve a restroom or driving, I’m in.”

◆◆◆

I have two goals for this so-called adventure at Dollywood—ride a rollercoaster for Ava and find a smooth rock from Pigeon Forge.

That’s it. But for some reason, I’m doing neither and standing under a full sky of floating umbrellas while Josie takes photos of a bed of flowers.

Had I been here alone, my tasks would already be completed, and I’d be on my way to my next destination.

But she belongs here. This whole place is built in her image—colorful, chaotic, joyful.

The music, the staff, even the damn signage is smiling at me.

Josie explodes with delight over every little thing she comes across, and I have a feeling I may have to drag her out of here kicking and screaming before the day’s end.

“Hayes!” She waves me over and points at something on the park brochure. “We should start here.”

I lean down to read. “You’re kidding, right?”

She beams up at me. “Not even a little.”

Grabbing my hand, she tugs me toward the—and I quote— junior coaster . There’s a real chance I won’t fit in this thing, and I guarantee we’ll be the only adults without kids riding it.

I need to send a picture to Ava of me on a rollercoaster, but this humiliation won’t be the evidence I take.

The line is short, and soon, I’m squished inside a coaster car painted like a wooden barrel beside Josie.

I’m taking up at least two-thirds of the space, pushing her against the side whenever the track curves her way.

My hands ache from squeezing the safety bar to keep my body weight from crushing her. It’s not working thanks to the jerky path and bumpy track. But she’s still laughing and screaming at every jolt, so I guess I haven’t bruised her yet.

“That was fun,” she says after we stumble out the gate. “It’s your choice next.”

“You’re really going to let me pick?”

“It’s only fair. Just go easy on me at first. We can work our way up to the ones I’ll have nightmares about.”

We spend the next two hours riding anything from frogs and bears to swings and carousels. She keeps screaming. I keep pretending not to enjoy it. But something inside me loosens with every ride, like I’m letting go one gear at a time.

That is until she drags me to the entrance of something called the Grist Mill. “We have to get cinnamon bread.”

“Are you sure you want to do that now?”

“Breakfast was a while ago. I figured you’d be ready to eat by now.”

“I’m only asking because it’s my choice again, and we’re riding that next.” I point over the restaurant to the towering rollercoaster behind it. Only the highest loop peeks over the trees, and it’s a doozy.

She goes pale. “I—”

“Kidding,” I smirk. “But I do want to ride it.”

She smacks a hand across my abs. “Hayes Montgomery, don’t do that to me.” She pivots toward the restaurant, then again to face me. “And good job, Sergeant. You made a joke, and I’m pretty sure I caught you enjoying the bear ride.”

“We rode metal bears like horses through a forest. Who wouldn’t like that?”

“True. But I’m still proud of you. ”

Satisfaction trickles through me, and I stand a little straighter by her side.

◆◆◆

“You’ve stalled long enough,” I tell Josie, guiding her toward the coaster I picked out after talking to a few staffers. They promised this one won’t traumatize my fragile companion.

“I’m not stalling.”

I tick off the contradicting evidence with my fingers. “Since the Grist Mill, we've stopped by three gift shops, taken more photos of flowers, and watched a concert.”

“All necessary since I may never make it back here. And that band was amazing.”

“Maybe so, but it’s time. We need to get back on the road.”

“Fine,” she complains with a whine, “but we can’t leave until we ride the steam engine through the park.”

“That wasn’t part of the deal.”

“It is now.”

Reaching the coaster entrance minutes later, we join the line.

“You really want to ride this thing?” Her hand comes up under my arm to wrap around my bicep. “It’s a death trap.”

“Yes. I need to go, but you don’t.”

“Need? Why?”

“I . . . I’ve been looking forward to it. To me, it’s no different than skydiving.”

“Ugh. I could never listen to Jordan talk about that. Why would you ever jump out of a perfectly safe airplane?”

“The mission.”

“Right.” She lets go of me to cross her arms over her stomach. “Both of you are too dedicated for your own good.”

“You aren’t the first person to tell me that.”

“Yeah?” We move forward a few steps with the line. “Who else?”

“My doctor.”

“You’ve been working harder than your body can take, haven’t you, Staff Sergeant?” She watches me, waiting for me to disagree.

“Something like that.” Ava comes to mind, and my focus dips. I don’t notice Josie creeping closer. Her body reconnects with mine, a familiar tension takes over my muscles.

“Will riding this thing make you forget about it all for a few minutes?”

“I hope so.”

Her head gives me a committal nod. “Then, I want to be a part of it.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Shut up, Hayes. I’m stepping out of my comfort zone for you. The least you can do is let me.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” She laces our fingers and looks toward the sky. “God, please don’t let me pee in my pants. ”

A snicker burst out of me. “Don’t worry. I’ll buy you an authentic Dollywood outfit if you do.”

“Will it have tassels and fringe? Oh! And it must have lots of bling.”

“It will have whatever you want it to have.”

“You’re so good to me in this metaphorical world.”

“My metaphorical self sure knows how to treat a lady.” I tip my pretend cowboy hat, and her head tips in a fake swoon.

Or I think it’s fake until she whispers, “Your real self is doing just fine.”

◆◆◆

The longer we wait, the more every nerve in my body seems to end in my right arm, pulsing under her body leaning against me.

During our short conversation at the coaster, I’d forgotten how stressed I’d been about this trip.

I wasn’t in a hurry to leave or get to the next part of the mission.

I was living in the moment, relaxed, and content . . . with her.

We travel with the snaking line in silence, nerves snuffing out her thoughts as the entrance comes into view. Her back stiffens. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

“Again, you don’t have to.”

She gauges my sincerity for a bit, then glances up at the metal track with a shiver. “I can’t leave you.”

With a finger under her chin, I tug her gaze back to me. Her hand relaxes and her tremors settle into gentle pulses as she holds my gaze. “You can. ”

The trail of cars screech to a stop beside us to let the previous riders exit. It’s either get her out of there or traumatize her forever.

“Go. I’ll meet you at the exit gate in a few minutes. Then, we’ll ride your train.”

She nods but doesn’t move—too stuck in her fears to escape. The gate opens, and the line pushes us forward as riders race to claim a seat.

“Josie.”

“Right.” She drops my hand and takes off through the waiting crowd before I can say another word.

Shit. She’s upset, and I—

“This way, sir,” a park staffer urges I’m holding up progress, rising onto my toes to look for Josie. She’s been enveloped by the sea of people waiting for the ride . . . out of sight.

Adrenaline gushes through my veins, but it’s not from anticipation of the ride as I lock the safety bar across my lap.

Josie is elsewhere in the park, and I can’t protect her if something happens.

She’s not a child , I remind myself. She lived in New York City for years.

An amusement park for families is far less dangerous. It’s built for safety.

Reaching into my pocket, I take a selfie of me and the other riders nearby. Attaching it to a text, I quickly type a message to Ava.

Me: Stop 1: Pigeon Forge, TN, and Dollywood. [check emoji]

Me: Task 1: Ride a rollercoaster.[check emoji]

Me: Wishing you were here. [check emoji]

The ride hitches into motion, crawling up the track to the first drop off. After zipping the phone safely inside my pocket, I grip the bar and force myself to enjoy the twists and dips like I would if Ava were here.

The cars inch over the peak and the commotion around me grows louder.

“This is for you, Cupcake,” I mutter and let the thrill take me away.