Page 40
Story: How to Sell a Romance
“Well, please feel free to help yourself to as much wine as you want too,” Jacqueline cuts back into the conversation, clearly not liking being left out.
“We’re just waiting for a few more people and then we’ll move to the living room.
I have samples you can try and we’ll fill you in on all of the latest Petunia Lemon news. ”
Jacqueline is back to ignoring me and keeps all of her attention focused on Keisha. And honestly? Thank god. I already feel bad enough, so I’m not sure I could handle her finally being nice to me as I’m plotting against her in her own house.
“This looks amazing,” Keisha says, and it might be the only real thing she says all night.
Jacqueline might not be great with names and faces, but she sure knows how to throw a party.
These boards aren’t something she threw together on a whim.
She had to have spent close to five hundred dollars on the food alone.
As a person who frequents the wine aisle in the grocery store, I know the wine isn’t anything to sneeze at either.
It’s like the best girls night you’ve ever been invited to, and it’s exactly how they suck you in.
Fool me once…
“Nora!” I push down my nerves and determination takes their place. “Do you mind if I steal you away for a second? I just have a couple of questions before I finish registering Keisha.”
Enough is enough.
I’m ready for this entire charade to be over.
“Oh my goodness. Absolutely!” She grabs her wineglass off of the table and loops her arm through mine. “Your first recruit! I’m so proud of you for sticking with this. I knew you could do it.”
“Thank you!” I bite down on my tongue. After knowing what I know now, I’m so grateful I’m not the person who signed Odette and Chloe up, but I still can’t believe she brought them to my party, gave them my samples and food, and then signed them up underneath her. The shady bitch.
“Of course, you know us sisters in skincare always believe in one another.” She pulls me into a hallway and I have to keep my eyes focused on the spotless hardwood floors to avoid the family pictures still hanging on the walls.
When she pushes the door open and I see where she’s taken me, I almost pass the fuck out.
“Is this—” I hope my wide-eyed horror reads slightly less horror-y—and even less whore-y, which is what I’m really feeling like now—as I take in the pink walls and llama decorations. “Is this Isla’s room?”
“I know, it’s so weird being in your student’s room.” She flops down on Isla’s twin bed and sends her stuffed animals scattering. “But isn’t it so cute?”
“Adorable,” I choke out.
It feels like my throat is sealing shut. I have to get the fuck out of here.
“So…” She tucks her legs beneath her, and I get the feeling I’m not the first person she’s brought into this room. “What do we need to do to get Keisha signed up tonight?”
Focus, Emerson. Ask and escape.
“She’s just a little worried about the cost of everything.
” I sit next to her on Isla’s bed and position my purse between us, hoping my recorder is picking everything up.
“Obviously, you know she’s an art teacher and with the monthly orders, she’s afraid it will add up and she won’t be able to make the money back fast enough. ”
Nora knows Keisha is an elementary school art teacher, but what she doesn’t know is that she’s been quietly selling her own art and has been added to small galleries across the country for the last year.
It’s been a long time coming, and she’s finally making enough that if she didn’t love her job so much, she wouldn’t miss her measly salary.
“I think we can both understand that fear. Finances are always such a double-edged sword, especially for teachers like us,” she says.
“But you have to spend money to make money and this isn’t like buying a sweater.
She’s investing in her future. Where else can you buy your own business for a few hundred dollars? ”
These were the exact same things she said to me. But back in July, I believed what she was saying. I didn’t realize she was just reciting a list of talking points she memorized years ago. A fury unlike anything I’ve ever experienced starts to bubble up from somewhere deep inside of me.
“That’s what I told her.” I struggle to keep a straight face. I’m not sure I’m a good enough actress to pull this off. “But she wanted to know about the refund policy and I didn’t know what to tell her. I’m not super familiar with it, so I didn’t want to tell her the wrong thing.”
I hold my breath. There’s still a chance I wasn’t wrong putting my trust in her. It won’t be great for Luke’s article, but I really hope whatever she says next will restore my faith in her.
“You just tell her that Petunia Lemon has a company-wide return policy.” She shrugs, not answering my question at all. “She can look it up on the website.”
I already looked it up on the website. It says a bunch of nothing and tells you to call them for more information. And when you call, the only thing you get is dizzy from the circles they talk in.
“I know that, but she was asking if I knew anyone who’s received the refund.” The lie slips effortlessly off my tongue. Maybe I’m not terrible at this after all. “I told her I didn’t because I’m so new, but I’d ask you. I think she just wants to know she has options.”
“Tell her she won’t need options when she signs up because the products are so great.
” Her happy-go-lucky attitude starts to shift into something I’ve never experienced with Nora.
It’s as off-putting as it is unnerving, and I don’t like it one bit.
“Not knowing someone who’s gotten a refund means we have happy customers. That should be enough for her.”
“Okay…” I can’t drop it now. She’s so defensive, and now I know she’s hiding something. “But what if it’s not?”
“Then make it enough,” she snaps, her fair skin reddening to the color of her hair before she pauses and takes a long breath.
“Listen, the policy is in effect, but it’s an unspoken rule that nobody uses it.
There are certain loopholes that are in place that protect us as their uplines from having to pay back commissions.
From my experience, if anyone tries to get a refund, corporate moves so slow that they realize it’s better for everyone if they don’t try to take the quitters’ way out and work harder.
Or if they aren’t cut out for it, they take their losses and leave the company with some dignity. ”
And there it is.
I know I shouldn’t be surprised but I am, and the disappointment I feel is bone-deep. I trusted Nora. She knew everything about my situation, but she only cared that I was a name she could check off of her list. Another person she could profit off.
But now, I’m going to be the person who makes sure she never does this to anyone ever again.
“That makes sense.” The muscles around my mouth quiver as I try to keep the smile on my face. “So the return policy is just to ease nerves and get people into Petunia Lemon who might not otherwise. Then once they’re in, they won’t leave.”
“Exactly!” She lets out a sigh of relief, and all signs of anger flee her face. “It’s basically just something to help their consultants reach those customers who are standing in their own way. When you make it to headquarters, they’ll explain it so much better.”
“That’s so clever, but can’t we get in trouble for that?” I should wrap this up while I’m ahead, but I can’t stop myself. I need to know her answer.
“I don’t think so.” She shrugs like scamming thousands of people out of their hard-earned money is no big deal. “Because they don’t ever actually deny a refund, there’s nothing that can be done.”
“No wonder this company does so well.”
The bunch of evil fucking villains.
“Right?” She stands up, and I guess she is as done with this conversation as I am. “Now let’s go sign up Keisha.”
I don’t notice any of the pictures on the wall as we make our way back down the hallway. All I see is red.
When we walk into the kitchen, Jacqueline is still doing her best to court Keisha.
“You said they’re called Bantu knots? They’re so beautiful,” Jacqueline says before reaching up to touch Keisha’s hair, but Keisha steps out of her reach at the last second. “Oh my god! Has anyone told you about our charity measure? I think you’ll really love it.”
I stop behind Keisha, curious to hear what Jacqueline’s going to say. I’ve been to more meetings than I can count at this point, and this is the first time I’ve heard anything about charity. Maybe they have at least one redeeming characteristic.
“Really?” Keisha says through clenched teeth. “What is it?”
“We partnered up with an organization in Africa so we can send women our serums and creams,” Jacqueline says, her voice full of pride.
“Once a year, a group of Petunia Lemon consultants fly to Africa and teach them about the products and what it means to have a business of their own. This way they can go back to their villages and spread the knowledge.”
My jaw almost hits the floor.
I’ve heard some wild things at these meetings, but this might be the most unhinged of them all. I look around the room, expecting to see a room full of faces reflecting what I’m feeling, but instead, they’re all wearing huge smiles and nodding along with Jacqueline.
I’m in the fucking twilight zone. There’s no way this is real.
“That’s amazing.” Keisha somehow manages to keep a straight face, and I don’t know if it sparks my respect or fear. “Where in Africa do you go?”
Oh god.
I grab onto the edge of the counter, knowing there’s only one way this is going to end.
“Where?” I see the confusion fighting against the Botox between Jacqueline’s eyebrows. “I’m not sure I follow?”
“Where do you fly into to do this charitable work?” Keisha asks again, and I see the vein in her forehead starting to throb.
“Did I not say?” Jacqueline looks around the room for validation. “It’s in Africa.”
“But where in Africa?” Keisha doesn’t back down.
“Just, you know”—Jacqueline waves her hand in front of her—“Africa.”
Holy fucking hell.
I knew the conversation was going to end this way, but it doesn’t make knowing that a grown-ass adult has no idea Africa is a continent, not a country, any less shocking.
The only bright side to this entire conversation is that while most of the sisters in skincare who are watching this conversation go down don’t seem to think there’s an issue, Chloe and Odette are both wearing matching horrified expressions.
“I know that.” Keisha’s hands enter the equation, and if I don’t intervene soon, she’s going to hurt Jacqueline’s feelings so bad that she might never recover. “But where—”
“Oh my god! I forgot that I actually have to be somewhere tonight.” I grab Keisha’s hand and pull her behind me. “Thank you so much for having us. See you all soon!”
I don’t wait for a response before we’re out the door and running back to my car.
“Oh my god!” I say to Keisha when we’re back inside my car. “That was…”
I don’t finish my sentence because I don’t think I’ll ever know what that was.
“Emerson, I’m going to tell you something and I really need you to hear me, okay?” She puts her hands on my shoulders and stares deep into my eyes. “Any guilt you felt about anything around that woman? I need you to release it.”
“But—” I try to interrupt, but she doesn’t let me get far.
“No.” She shakes her head. “The second Isla is back with her horrific fucking mother, I need you to show up at that man’s house in nothing but a jacket and a pair of heels and I need you to fuck the shit out of that man.
And while you’re doing it, I need you to know he upgraded by a million percent and that the second you walked into his life was the moment his life changed for the better. ”
“Oh.” I nod, my face heating thinking about all the things I might do to him. “I can do that.”
“Damn right you can,” she says. “Now take me home so you and Luke can get to work destroying those bitches.”
She doesn’t say please, but I listen to her anyway.
Because I am going to bring them down, and I’m going to laugh in every single one of their smug, lying faces when I do.
Table of Contents
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- Page 40 (Reading here)
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