Page 33

For some totally unknown reason, the excited flutters I’ve been feeling whenever I think of Luke are nowhere to be found when it’s his ex-wife who’s bringing him up.

When I’m alone, it’s easy to tell myself that I haven’t done anything wrong, that I could’ve never anticipated who he was the night we met.

Yet, as I stand across from Jacqueline, it does nothing to assuage the shame I feel.

I might not have known who Luke was that night in July, but I know who he is now and as hard as I’ve tried, it hasn’t stopped me from wanting him any less.

It sure as hell didn’t stop me from spending Friday with him, formulating our plan to bring Petunia Lemon down, or curling into his lap while we finished The Traitors once we were done.

It didn’t stop me from falling asleep that night, wishing he’d fall asleep beside me.

The shame of it all is suffocating, but it’s still not enough to stop me from wanting him more than I’ve ever wanted anyone before.

It’s a wicked cycle, and I have no idea how to escape.

“Great, I’ll tell Lucas to check his email.” Jacqueline grabs my hand and I nearly recoil at the touch. “And you really should consider the Botox. Preventative is the way to go.”

Holy shit.

Why is she such a bitch, and why am I obsessed with her?

My mouth flaps around like a fish on dry land as I try to form a response…any response at all. But it’s no use. She’s long gone by the time my brain reconnects to my mouth.

“Just ignore her.” Janet appears next to me, her speech and her stance a little wobbly from the jello shots Grace talked her into doing. “She’s a bitch to everyone at first.”

“Really?” This shouldn’t make me feel better. She’s going to hate me forever if she ever finds out the truth about me and Luke.

“Yup.” She takes a cookie off of my plate and bites into it. “She made Grace cry for the first two months. I think she’s taking it easy on you because of Isla.”

If this is her nice, I’m not sure I could handle her going hard. It’s good to know there are some benefits to the teaching degree I’ll be paying off until I die.

“Thank goodness for Isla then.”

“True that.” She nods her head in agreement and finishes off the cookie I was very excited to eat. “And don’t listen to her about the Botox either, you don’t need it. That’s just her being an asshole again.”

“Thank you.” I rub at the frown lines between my eyes that feel like they’re growing deeper with every minute I stay at this party. “That’s nice of you to say.”

“Not nice.” She smiles and takes my hand in hers. “Just truth.”

Ugh.

The guilt I keep telling myself not to feel rears its ugly head again. I really, genuinely like Janet—maybe even more so when she’s drunk—and I feel awful lying to her face. She’s one of the few people I think I could become real friends with outside of Petunia Lemon.

I just have to hope that eventually she’ll see the light and join me on the outside. But after talking to Luke and discussing everything he’s found on Petunia Lemon and companies like it, I’m not sure it will happen.

When Luke was telling me about how insular these groups are, part of me hoped he was exaggerating.

I thought maybe because he’s a journalist he couldn’t help but sensationalize everything for the sake of his story.

But when I had lunch with Nora on Tuesday and asked her more about Anna, I knew he was telling the truth.

As soon as I mentioned her name, Nora’s entire demeanor changed.

I’ve never seen her act so cold before, and I once watched her laugh with a parent who threatened to bash her car windows in and follow her home!

“Hi, everyone.” Nora claps her hands together at the front of the room.

“I just wanted to take a moment to thank you all for coming out tonight. I know this is a little different than our normal get-togethers, but I’m grateful you all took the time out of your busy schedules to join me for a little self-care. ”

Nora gestures for someone to come join her, and a woman who I have to assume is Dr. Hubbard takes her place beside Nora.

Jet-black hair falls down her back in thick waves, and it’s a stark contrast to skin so pale I’m not sure it has ever been exposed to sunlight.

If someone told me she was a Cullen and she secretly shimmered like diamonds, I would believe it.

She simultaneously looks twenty-five and forty-five and I love everything about her.

Maybe I will try some of her services after all.

“If you’re new here,” Nora says, almost to remind everyone that she’s still standing there too, “this is Dr. Hubbard. Not only is she an amazing dermatologist who I come to see every four to six months, but she’s one of the top Petunia Lemon consultants in the country.

She’s so graciously offered to share some of her expertise with us tonight.

Be sure to take notes, ladies, we can all learn a few things from her. ”

Polite applause fills the crowded space, and Nora finds the open seat next to Jacqueline. A door at the corner of the room opens, and Chloe walks out with an ice pack to her mouth. She’s looking around for a place to sit, and I wave her over to come sit by me.

While she’s weaving through the room and everyone is focused on Dr. Hubbard, I reach into my purse, pull out my phone, and start recording.

I have no idea what the good doctor is going to say, but based on my previous experience with Petunia Lemon, I can almost guarantee that she’ll say at least one thing that’s so out of pocket, I’ll need video proof.

Chloe reaches over to me after what feels like forever and arches her brow at my raised phone…or at least I think she arches? It’s hard to tell with the little bee sting marks crossing her forehead.

“For Odette,” I whisper, nodding to my phone. “So she’s not all the way left out.”

“You’re so sweet,” she says, and the seed of guilt I’ve been trying to avoid takes root. “She’ll love that you thought of her.”

God, I’m such a liar. I really hope this pays off in the end, and I don’t just spend months deceiving my friends.

“Thank you so much, Nora.” Dr. Hubbard pulls my attention back to her.

Her smooth, cultured voice is so calming, it’s no wonder so many people trust her to put needles in their faces.

“I’m so honored to host my fellow sisters in skincare here tonight.

I always love my job, but on nights like tonight, I just have to thank Jesus for putting me on this path and placing Petunia Lemon in my life.

I truly believe that I’m doing what I was placed on earth to do and I know I’m not alone! ”

A crescendo of “amens” and “yes girls” are shouted around the room, and I struggle to keep a straight face.

I can’t imagine doing anything other than teaching.

It may not be glamorous and I might be poor, but I’m happier and more fulfilled than I could be doing anything else.

So while I understand feeling like your job is a calling, there’s just something in her zealous declaration that makes my culty spidey senses start to tingle.

I just can’t put my finger on it…

Yet.

“As Petunia Lemon consultants, we have the distinct honor of not only getting to experience the best skincare products on the market, but we get to share the joy and love that can only be found through fellowshipping with your sisters. And because we carry the responsibility to share this company with as many people as we can, I want to talk to you tonight about why it’s so important that we present ourselves in the best way possible and give you a few tricks to accomplish that. ”

What seemed so warm about her moments ago begins to take on a sinister tilt.

My skin starts to crawl as I listen to her, but as I search the room to see if anyone else is feeling like me, I only see wide smiles and enthralled faces.

Everyone is on the edge of their seats, waiting to hear what else Dr. Hubbard has to say.

“We can all confirm that the products Petunia Lemon sells are top-of-the-line, right?” She pauses so we all have the chance to answer her rhetorical question.

“But even with the best skincare products, sometimes it’s important to take a few extra steps beyond what a serum can do.

As business owners, it’s crucial to not only identify our market, but to discover their pain points.

It’s the only way we’ll learn how to help them.

“As one of the earliest Petunia Lemon representatives, I’ve been doing this for a long time.

I’ve gone on every company vacation since they’ve started offering them and I’ve spent countless hours talking to our fearless founder, Raquel, learning how to be the best Petunia Lemon representative there is.

Raquel has spent countless hours in my chair, and she will be the first to tell you that our faces are the best advertisement we can have.

You ladies here tonight are doing the best thing you could possibly do for your business.

By going the extra mile to keep your faces looking young and line free, you’ll be showing future customers that with Petunia Lemon, aging is optional! ”

Anyone who was seated jumps to their feet and applause erupts around me.

Nora rushes to hug Dr. Hubbard before telling her to take a bow.

The room is so loud, I can barely hear myself think…

which is probably a good thing because I think I might be going crazy.

I don’t understand how I can be the only person in the room thinking this is not okay.

I stop recording and tuck my phone back into my purse, hoping that nobody noticed.

The clapping and cheering finally begin to die down but the energy in the room is more wired than ever.

Women who had already gotten a treatment or two grab the framed menus spread all across the room, scanning them for what to do to their faces next.

And when their attention turns toward me, I take that as my cue to get the fuck out of Dodge.

“I actually have to head out,” I tell Grace, who, by the way, seems way too intoxicated to do something like this. “I have to be up early and I want to get home at a decent hour.”

“Boooo!” She hands the menu over to Chloe and grabs another jello shot syringe. “You’re no fun.”

That’s usually a challenge because I love being fun, but for once, I’m okay with it. Because while my plans might not include a sore face and nasty hangover, they do include Luke.

And that wins every single time.