Page 30 of How to Seduce a Viscount (Wed Within a Year #3)

T he man who faced her in the library was not Luce Parkhurst, her lover.

This was the fourth Horseman. Death. Moros.

A man who prevented death where he could and took lives when he couldn’t in order to protect the greater good.

He would have killed for her tonight, of that she was sure, just as he’d been prepared to kill for her the night she’d arrived.

Gone was the man who’d laughed with her on the dance floor, traced the stars with her and who’d made wild love to her on his dining room table.

‘Luce, please let me explain. I tried to tell you tonight.’ It was perhaps not the best response, but Luce had flustered her more than fending off Wilkes, more than stabbing Paterson, more than interrogating a man at knife point.

Those were all activities she was quite familiar with.

She knew how to handle them, how to respond.

She was out of her depth here. She had no idea how to respond to Luce. Lover and Horseman.

Work and pleasure had all been conflated on the drive back to Tillingbourne.

He stared at her with eyes that said she was his work now, part of a job and nothing more.

And her own heart, which had been so warm before, began to freeze.

Perhaps for the best. The chill between them would protect her, give her the strength to argue for herself, but cold things were also brittle things.

To freeze meant also to risk fracture. Later.

When all this was over, when she was anonymous, then she would allow herself the luxury of that.

Until that time, Falcon must remain strong. Falcon never cracked.

‘Tonight? That’s your excuse? You tried to tell me tonight? Do you think telling me half an hour before the despicable Mr Wilkes announced it, would have made it any better? You should have told me when I asked you directly if there was anything else I needed to know.’

‘I did not believe you needed to know at that time.’ She met his gaze coolly, her own mask in place now.

It was not Wren and Luce in the library any longer but Falcon and a Horseman.

‘Do not harangue me about unilateral decision making. It is an occupational requirement in our line of work. We make unilateral decisions all the time about when to make a move, who to save, who to trust, who needs to know what. You’ve done it, too. ’

‘I didn’t need to know about my brother? How dare you make that decision for me.’

‘I didn’t make it. Your grandfather did.

’ She took supreme satisfaction in deflecting the accusation.

She felt guilty about many things. About hurting him and about withholding information from him, but at the same time she did not feel guilty about keeping her word to the earl and doing her job .

If she arbitrarily decided which orders to follow she’d have been dead long before this.

‘My grandfather?’ The revelation had stunned him for the moment. ‘Whyever not? If Stepan is out there, we should have gone after right away. I would have summoned Caine. He could have been here by now.’

‘Which is precisely why he didn’t want you to know.

Not yet.’ They’d divided the room in half, each pacing their own lengths like caged tigers.

She stopped to face him. ‘Think for a moment. Gerlitz believes Stepan is there. Your grandfather believes it too. Gerlitz is sending a team to claim his revenge. They would be happy to entrap all the Horsemen in one fell swoop. What better way to do that than to use the rumour of Stepan as bait? Gerlitz wants the Horsemen to muster and ride to their brother’s aid.

Why do you think Paterson encouraged Wilkes to tell you?

Because Paterson wanted medical help? Highly plausible but not probable.

The answers came too easily tonight and deep down you know that. ’

She watched Luce’s gaze turn stormy. He’d not liked having that truth uttered out loud.

‘You have everything you need to go after your brother, just as Gerlitz intended.’

Luce’s eyes narrowed. ‘So they weren’t here for you, after all?’

‘No. They were here for me but they were also here to make sure their news was imparted.’ Would he guess the rest? The rest truly didn’t matter except to her and Falcon’s damnable pride.

‘Wilkes recognised you.’ Luce said as he sat—perhaps a sign that he was moving into a different facet of his offensive as he lay siege to the various levels of her betrayal.

‘He’d been looking for you. Wilkes and Gerlitz and whoever they’ve told know who you are.

You’ve been made.’ Luce was quiet for a moment, another hidden reality revealing itself to his agile mind.

‘That’s why you’re retiring, why Grandfather wants—no— needs to keep you safe.

’ His eyes were steely. ‘Yet another thing you’ve cleverly disguised from me.

You said Grandfather was retiring you for sentimental reasons but in truth, he needs to protect the network.

’ His gaze bored through her. ‘If you’re caught, you could expose a great many things.

Capturing you would be quite the prize.’

‘It is out of sentiment. That is not a lie!’ she snapped.

How dare he insinuate that the earl did not hold her in affection, that this was merely a business decision; that she was being kicked out, exiled from the network she’d been trained to serve and given her life to.

How dare he hit her where it would hurt the most.

But oh, she did know how he dared. He was hurting her because she’d hurt him.

She’d withheld information from him not once but twice.

The second time after she’d given her word and led him to believe that she could be trusted, that they were a team, that the rules of the game had been suspended for them for a short while.

‘How did it happen? You being made as Falcon? If you’re going to use my house as a hide-out, I think I need to know.’

‘I was followed to Cap Gris-Nez this past summer on my way home from Belgium.’ She gave Luce a few moments to place that journey on the timeline in his mind. It had been the trip on which she’d shadowed Celeste Sharpton, Cabot Roan’s ward and now Kieran Parkhurst’s wife.

‘I travelled a few days on Celeste’s tail.

She never knew I was there but others did.

It was a dangerous move. I travel alone for good reason.

It’s easier to hide. I am a professional and she was most definitely a novice.

Roan’s people knew her trajectory, knew she was headed to London to find the Horsemen.

I kept her safe but at risk to myself it turned out.

When Caine killed Roan in the autumn, I thought I was safe, that perhaps no one beyond Roan would have guessed.

Then Gerlitz surfaced and began making noise in Roan’s wake.

It became na?ve to assume no one knew. That was when the earl made his plans for me.

He decided winter would be the best time to disappear.

Travel is difficult for many and the world is quiet.

It wouldn’t be until spring before anyone thought to remark on my absence. ’

She sighed and sank into the chair opposite him. ‘Are you happy now? I’ve marched my shame out for you. I slipped up once in an act of unasked for kindness and it has cost me everything. Even my identity, such as it is.’

Luce was silent for a long while. ‘For a moment, when you first told me Grandfather was allowing you to retire I was admittedly jealous. He would not countenance me leaving the game.’ Luce’s stare was dark and piercing.

‘I thought he must love you fiercely to arrange it all for you.’ Luce shook his head.

‘But I see now that it was a business decision and I understand it better. Just as I understand you better.’

‘You are being hateful.’ Wren scowled. ‘You want to hurt me by demeaning the one relationship I treasure.’

‘I am being truthful.’ Luce’s reply was sharp. ‘Which is not the thing you treasure most.’

Family, belonging, being loved. Those were her treasures.

He was stripping them from her with his words and she could not stop him.

‘No, it is not. I find the truth can be overrated. The truth is subjective. It is easily twisted and misunderstood. But at least I don’t hide from my feelings.

I know exactly what I want and what I feel, even when it is risky to do so.

’ How about that for a little truth telling, she thought.

Two could play this game. If he insisted on deconstructing her psyche, she could do the same and he could see how he liked it.

‘I do not hide my feelings,’ Luce countered.

She smirked. ‘You do it all the time, especially when you’re hurting or scared.

If you don’t believe me, answer me this.

What did you do this summer after Stepan disappeared?

’ When Luce said nothing, she supplied the answer.

‘You came to Tillingbourne and threw yourself into plans to restore the library. Except for earlier this evening, you’ve not talked about Stepan at all even though I know his loss is killing you.

Instead of addressing those feelings, you’ve buried yourself in work here at Tillingbourne writing your grandfather’s memoir.

Trying to prove yourself even though you’ve already done so a thousand times over.

You’re doing it again tonight with me.’ He was focusing on the work, the interrogation and the facts instead of what his heart was feeling.