Page 48 of How to Lose a Lord in Ten Days

There was the sound of running footsteps and then suddenly more hands were joining theirs.

Together they wrenched Sir Waldo away from Lady Phoebe with such force that he stumbled and landed in the dust, and Ashford, Dacre and Pip stood there, panting.

Behind them, more footsteps as Reeves, Hesse and Ladies Morton and Hesse hastened their way.

‘How dare you!’ Sir Waldo was spluttering, raising himself onto one knee. ‘What is the meaning of this?’

‘Quiet!’ Ashford snapped, pushing him down again. ‘Phoebe – how are you?’

‘What on earth is going on?’ Dacre demanded. ‘Waldo – what are you doing?’

He reached out a hand to grasp Waldo’s arm, whether to raise him up or keep him down, Lydia didn’t know, but Waldo threw it away.

‘Don’t touch me!’ he spat. ‘No one touch me.’

‘How are you, Phoebe?’ Ashford asked again.

She nodded rather breathlessly. ‘I am well.’

‘What is going on?’ Lady Hesse demanded. ‘Sir Waldo, I cannot believe your behaviour.’

‘ My behaviour!’ Sir Waldo said incredulously, raising himself to his feet. ‘This is a private matter, between me and my wife – I have been attacked, in my own home, by these madwomen!’

He pointed accusingly at Lydia – stooping to retrieve her pin from the ground – and Elspeth, who was still holding the riding crop threateningly aloft.

‘They are not madwomen,’ Ashford said.

‘I was not attacking you,’ Lydia said. ‘I was defending her!’

‘And I,’ Phoebe said, ‘do not wish to be your wife, any longer!’

A resounding silence followed in the wake of this declaration.

‘I intend to divorce you.’ Lady Phoebe spoke again, raising a wobbling but resolute chin.

Sir Waldo laughed. ‘On what grounds?’

‘Cruelty.’

‘There is not a judge in the world who would grant such a thing,’ he said. ‘No one would believe it: I am a pillar of society!’

‘Now that,’ interjected Ashford, ‘is not strictly true, is it, Waldo?’

He smiled at Waldo so benignly that Lydia half expected him to offer a pinch of snuff.

‘What are you inferring?’ Waldo spluttered.

‘Mr Hanworth can enlighten you,’ Ashford said evenly.

Pip raised himself up to his full height.

‘Fact is,’ he said, ‘Sir Waldo has almost bankrupted himself. That Mr Villars who keeps writing to him is a moneylender. Wants his dues.’

‘What on earth is he talking about?’ Lady Morton frowned.

Sir Waldo had gone white as a sheet.

‘Is that why you needed money, Waldo?’ Dacre asked. ‘Truly?’

Pip nodded. ‘Your payment appeased them, but it will not for long – so Waldo promised them the necklace.’

‘But you never had any intention of giving it to them, did you, Waldo?’ Ashford said. ‘That’s why you decided to go to Mauritius.’

‘And you had no intention of coming back,’ Pip said.

‘This is nonsense,’ Waldo said. ‘Madness.’

But his hands were shaking.

‘Waldo?’ Lady Phoebe said. ‘Is this true?

‘A mere trifling spot of financial bother.’ Waldo brushed at a speck of dust on his sleeve, not meeting anyone’s eye. ‘It is not serious.’

‘Did you truly keep such a thing from me?’

‘What good would there be in telling you?’ he barked. ‘You’ve no head for business.’

‘As you have told me, again and again.’ Lady Phoebe shook her head. ‘I almost believed you, but all this time – what about my money? My dowry?’

‘Do not stand on your high horse with me!’ He jabbed a finger at her. ‘You were leaving – running off with some lover, no doubt. It runs in the family, I see!’

He sent a sneering look toward Ashford, whose jaw tightened.

‘I want you to go,’ Lady Phoebe cried, pointing a finger down the driveway.

‘Go where?’ Waldo’s face twisted into an ugly smile. ‘This is my home, Phoebe. It belongs to me. You belong to me.’

‘I don’t care about any of it,’ she said. ‘Go to Mauritius without me – go anywhere, but leave England. Forever.’

‘Waldo,’ Dacre said, his quiet voice carrying over his brother’s spluttering. ‘I think perhaps it is best if you do leave now. Spend tonight at the White Horse and then we will discuss it all in the morning.’

‘And you turn on me as well?’ Sir Waldo demanded. ‘After all I have done for you? After all I could say about you?’

Dacre paled.

‘I am not scared of you – any of you,’ Waldo looked around at them all with an unpleasant look in his eyes. ‘A collection of gossips and gabsters and degenerates, no more. You all have your own secrets to hide too, don’t forget. The things I could let slip …’

He glared at the assembled company, each hesitating as if weighing their own secrets in the balance.

‘Oh Waldo, tut tut tut.’ Lady Morton broke the silence, stepping forward from where she and Lady Hesse had been standing.

She ranged herself alongside Phoebe, taking her arm in her own, and shook back her red mane.

‘You might try to play the conjecture game, but truthfully, some of us have been doing this for years. The things I could say about you – why, it would not be more than a day’s work to ruin you. ’

‘If that,’ Lady Hesse said, and she too stepped forward. ‘A few letters in the right hands …’

‘A few whispers in the right ears,’ Lady Morton agreed. ‘You are quite right, Waldo, we are gabsters and gossips – and what’s more, we’re good at it.’

Lady Hesse inclined her head. ‘We can send whispers of your doings all the way to London, and still have time to change our dress for dinner.’

‘With nothing but some powerful adjectives, a few sheets of paper, and coins for postage.’

‘Shan’t need postage!’ Hesse piped up, puffing out his chest. ‘I’ll frank ’em for you!’

‘Very helpful,’ Lady Hesse praised. Her smile slipped from her face as she looked back at Waldo.

‘Women may not hold the houses, or the purse-strings, Waldo, but we do own the secrets. So unless you wish the ton to begin whispering your name, removing your name from invitations, rescinding the memberships of your clubs, not to mention Bow Street bearing down … ’

Pip gave an emphatic nod of support.

‘Do you think you shall be received in Mauritius if they knew of your hideous behaviour?’ She went on, her smile was chillingly pleasant. ‘If I were you, I would do as Lady Phoebe asks.’

‘Phoebe,’ Waldo said, focusing all his attention upon his wife, ‘you are confused … not thinking clearly. Let us all go inside and discuss it – I am happy to reassure you …’

‘No.’ Lady Phoebe’s voice shook. ‘I do not wish you to re-enter the house.’ She looked to Lydia, entreating. ‘I do not wish him to re-enter the house,’ she said again, louder, more panicked.

‘Then he will not,’ Lydia said promptly. ‘Why, there are two inns in Eagleton alone.’

‘Your valet will meet you there,’ Ashford said, nodding.

‘Let us be serious,’ Waldo said. ‘You cannot mean to banish me as if we are in some medieval play! Phoebe …’ He held out a hand toward her, his face soft and entreating. ‘Phoebe, you do not wish to do this.’

She was very pale and trembling like a leaf, something about his softness appearing far more threatening than his anger.

‘I – I do,’ she said. ‘I will.’

‘Phoebe …’ he said again, taking a step forward.

But then Ashford was in front of her, and so too were Pip and Reeves, and Elspeth raised her riding crop once more, and Lydia brandished her pin as a very small sword.

‘Go, Waldo,’ Phoebe instructed, firm now. ‘ Go .’

Finally, Dacre took a purposeful step forward. ‘I should prefer not to stoop to such incivility as to strike you,’ he told him. ‘But I will, if I need to, Waldo.’

‘Brother!’ Waldo said, half in entreaty, half in accusation.

‘You have always been a bully.’ And if there was sadness in Dacre’s voice, there was no uncertainty. ‘No more.’

‘If we ever hear a whisper of your presence on these shores again, you shall speedily regret it,’ Lady Hesse said crisply.

Sir Waldo looked as if he were going to be sick.

‘I …’

‘I do not wish to look upon you for a second longer,’ Lady Phoebe interrupted. ‘I will sell the diamonds and pay your debts, so you may live easily in your new life. You will give me power of attorney to do so.’

The driver opened the door to the chaise with a suggestive creak.

‘Go,’ she said. ‘And do not return.’

Sir Waldo looked about them all, from face to face, examining them for any weakness.

‘This is not over,’ he snarled at last, stalking past them. He leapt into the chaise and slammed the door hard enough to make the glass of the window shake threateningly.

The driver set the horses, too, and they watched as it swept down the front drive – silent, implacable and united.