Page 46

I draw him in for a kiss, not yet prepared to let him go. When I finally pull back, I start to sit up but he pushes me back down.

“Where are you going?” he asks.

“To bed.”

“You can sleep here,” Mads says as he wraps his arms and legs around me, like he’s going to hold me prisoner here, and I find it quite hard to fight against.

“You’re just going to pin me here?”

“Yes.”

“At least let me get up so I can clean up.”

“No because then you’ll run. I’ll get something to clean you up,” he says as he rushes to the bathroom connected to his bedroom. He’s back before I manage to get too far.

“Where are you going?” he asks, noticing that I’m sitting up.

“My room.”

“Why?”

I hesitate because now that the lust has worn off, my brain has returned. “Because… I’ve already gone over this.”

It’s no surprise that Mads doesn’t understand.

“Abel is after me whether you’re with me or not,” he says as he picks me up.

And even though I know I shouldn’t, I let him because there’s something so fucking good about feeling him hold on to me.

He slowly lowers me back down on the bed before climbing onto it with me.

He leans over me so that my legs spread around him.

If I weren’t so fucking tired, I’d draw him in for another round.

He reaches out and sinks his fingers into my hair. “I don’t want you to leave.”

“Should I give you everything you want?” I tease. “If I do, you’ll end up spoiled like Rylee.”

He grins. “Maybe.” He sinks down into my arms that I wrap around him, deciding I can spare him just a few minutes, and kisses me gently. “You don’t have to stay. But I very much would like it if you did.”

I let my betraying hand travel up his side. It wouldn’t take much for me to push him off, to roll him onto his back, and I think this time he’d let me go. But still, I keep my hand there for a long moment before using all of the effort left in my body to force myself to roll him off me.

“Fine, I’ll sleep here but only so I don’t have to listen to you cry about it,” I say… which might be a lie, but I’m sure not going to tell him that.

“Good,” he says, quite pleased. “I’m glad it’s for me.” I can hear the teasing note in his voice and try my hardest not to smile. I really don’t need him believing that he’s figured me out.

“Yeah…”

Mads is grinning even wider now as he grabs me and drags me in.

“I never said we were cuddling.”

“We aren’t cuddling. We’re merely pressing our naked bodies against each other.”

“We very much shouldn’t be naked either. I can almost guarantee Rylee will be in here before morning. And I feel like I’ve scarred the child enough without having her come in with the two of us naked.”

“Can I dress you, then?”

“Sure. That seems like a good job for you since it means I don’t have to get up,” I say as he draws off me. Now that he’s gone, I find myself strangely missing his touch.

“I got your undies!” he declares as he comes at me.

“You are not allowed to dress me with that tone.”

“This part goes over the first footsy.”

“My room is starting to sound better and better.”

Mads laughs as he pulls my underwear up before leaning forward to reward himself with a kiss. “Fine, fine. I’m just like… giddy, I’m so happy.”

“It was just sex.”

“Very nice sex. Amazing sex. One time, I had sex in my office at the university I worked at, and it still wasn’t as fun as that sex we just had. It was even with my boss.”

I snort. “I’m glad you were pleased.”

“Very much.”

Once we’re cleaned up and dressed, he slides back under the covers and turns to me. “Fine… we don’t have to cuddle,” he says, deflating before my eyes. “I will just lie here happy that you’ve decided to stay in bed with me.”

“Hmm…”

“I’ll be over here on my side of the bed.”

“Okay. Good night.”

“I’m sorry, I could barely hear you from so far away. What was that?”

I push him so he’s facing away from me, and he sighs in defeat until I slide up behind him until my groin is against his ass.

“Oh my?—”

I clamp my hand over his mouth. “I chose this position so I could silence you,” I say, but Mads just kisses my hand, obviously not caring.

This is ridiculous. Like what do we even need to do this for?

But he’s so damn happy that I can’t roll away.

I’m not used to sleeping on my side, so it feels weird, and I have nowhere for my other arm to go, but he’s so thrilled about it that I can’t possibly pull away.

I slide my left hand down his chest as I close my eyes, wanting sleep as much as I fear it.

His hand slides over mine, cupping it as he remains quiet, likely aware he might scare me away.

And in the stillness of the room, he drifts off to sleep almost immediately.

I could pull away now and he probably wouldn’t even notice, but I tuck my head close to his and find myself sinking into sleep.

Of course darkness finds my exhausted body quickly.

I feel like I might suffocate as I’m trapped inside of it.

There’s no way out of this situation, but the smell of death wafts through the box.

Slowly, I open the lid, surprised to find that it’s not locked for once.

But whenever he leaves it unlocked, it means he wants me to see what he’s left outside of it.

My hand trembles as I push against it, the light from outside blinding me and momentarily making it impossible for me to see.

But as I sit up, I notice a body lying just beyond it and realize that the person lying there is Mads.

Tentatively, I get out of the box as I make my way closer to him, terrified to touch him, but I need to know if he’s still alive. Kneeling down, I reach for him and roll him over as his dead eyes stare up at me and I know I’ve killed him. He’s dead because of me.

I jerk back, scrambling for that darkness that I can hide inside, but no matter where I look, his dead eyes are staring back at me.

“Ender, hey, it’s okay. I’m right here,” Mads whispers in the night.

The darkness is shattered as I feel a gentle hand running down my arm.

“You okay?”

I can’t find it in myself to reply, so I just feign sleep. Even so, for a long time, he runs his fingers down my arm, lulling me back into the darkness, but this time that box doesn’t wait for me.