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CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

ENDER

Past

“Come now,” Abel says as he pats his leg.

I’m kneeling on the floor, shaking as metal shackles weigh my limbs down.

“Aren’t you hungry?” he asks, but my eyes are fixated on the man across from me, not the monster who has terrorized me for so long.

“Ender, what have they done to you?” the human asks. “What is this monster?”

My shaking worsens as I stare at my brother who I haven’t seen in so long.

Has it been weeks or months? I don’t even know anymore.

Time drags in this room where I have nothing—no windows, no freedom, nothing to look at and nothing to look forward to when the only thing that visits me is the monster standing behind my brother.

While time has stopped for me, it isn’t stopping for him.

“Ender, you have one fucking job,” Abel says as he stands.

“Get away,” I plead.

Abel’s sour face makes me think he believes I’m talking to him, but I’m not.

“Get away from him,” my brother Tomás says as he rushes for me.

I have dreamed about seeing him again. I’ve wanted nothing more than to see my family… but not like this.

“No, Tomás, stay back, please,” I beg.

I try to crawl away. I’ll even willingly go into that fucking box again.

He needs to stay away from me. Terror rips through me, but I’m so weak from lack of blood.

I’m so hungry. I don’t know how many days it’s been since I’ve fed.

Weeks, even. I can’t keep going like this and Abel knows it.

He’s pushing me because I refused to listen to him.

“Ender, you are no longer in control of your life, and you need to realize this. I am your maker. I have molded you into the perfect being,” Abel says as Tomás slides between us.

“Stay away from him,” Tomás warns as he backs over to me. He grabs me, trying to pick me up, but I can’t even stand anymore and my legs give out, dragging us both down. I’m just so hungry and tired and the darkness is constantly there.

“Save me, please,” I beg as I desperately grab on to him. And I know I’m being so selfish, begging him to go away while begging him to save me in the very same breath.

Tomás tries pulling at the chains that hold me down, but if I can’t break them, there’s no way he can.

Tomás, in his desperation, turns to Abel. “What do you want? Do you want money? We don’t have much, but we’ll give it to you. Tell me what you want in exchange for my brother.”

“In exchange? I don’t know. I rather like him.

He’s quite resilient and talented. If only he’d listen better, he’d be perfect.

Would you exchange yourself for him? Would you live in darkness until you lose all hope?

Would you beg and cry and plead like him until he agrees to do as I’ve asked?

Would you give in faster than he did? Or would you break immediately like all of the others who came before him? See, I have something special here.”

Tomás nods. “I would exchange myself, so please, let him go.”

I shake my head, terrified Abel will take Tomás from me. “No, no, no. He’s lying, he’s lying. He’s a liar. Run, please. Brother, I beg you, run.”

Tomás shakes his head. “I won’t leave you.”

“You will die if you stay here. Please, Tomás. Please.”

He grabs me, desperate to free me, but it just puts him closer to me. He has blood on his clothes and an open wound on his arm, and the smell is driving me mad.

“Shh,” he says as he carefully shields me, but it’s not Abel I’m worried about.

It’s myself.

“I’m so hungry,” I whisper. “I’m so hungry.”

He jerks and pulls at the chains as Abel watches in amusement.

Abel starts laughing at the display. “Ender, you know there’s only one way this is going to end. Why drag it out?”

“I will not hurt him,” I say, and I can’t tell whether I’m telling him or myself.

Abel walks closer, and I know he’s going to cut my brother in the hope that more blood entices me into killing the person I love most. I cower back as Tomás stands before me, ready to protect me, but he has people at home to protect.

A young daughter and a wonderful wife. And he has absolutely no idea what kind of monster he’s facing.

The moment Abel gets close, I push Tomás back and tear into Abel with my nails. I can feel his skin giving and blood dripping out. The chains keep me back, but it’s enough that I simply cut him open.

Anger sweeps across his face as he moves so quickly that I can’t avoid him grabbing me by the throat.

He lifts me off the ground, my feet dangling as though he wants to remind me that I am nothing compared to him while he cuts me open like I’d done to him.

But unlike him, I don’t have much blood left to lose.

“Sometimes I just want to fucking kill you,” he says as he throws me into that black box the chains are connected to and slams the lid shut.

“No, no, no,” I plead as I claw at the metal walls. I can feel the tips of my fingers turning bloody from it, my nails ripping back.

I can hear Abel leave but I sense my brother still outside of it.

“I’ll get you out.”

“Please run,” I beg. “Please. Please run.”

“I’m not leaving you.”

“He’s trying to make me kill you.”

“You’d never kill me.”

“I can’t control myself. He did something to me. I can’t… you don’t understand. He’s not human, Tomás. You saw how fast he moved. He’s not natural and he’s made me into a monster. Please listen to me.”

I can hear him pulling and banging against the box, but for the first time, I realize that maybe being locked in here is best if my brother is out there.

Hours stretch on into days as the madness slowly takes me. I’m not even sure how much longer I can live like this.

“Ender, talk to me,” Tomás begs. “Ender, please… talk to me.”

I don’t know how to find the words.

“Ender, please.”

“I’m so sorry,” I whisper.

“Why are you apologizing? There’s nothing for you to apologize about. This man is fucked up. He’s a monster.”

“I’m so sorry,” I repeat. Maybe if I could kill myself it’d solve everything. But would he take my brother in my place?

It’s almost as if Abel is reading my thoughts because he returns.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” I say, my voice growing desperate.

“Move aside,” Abel orders, and I hear Tomás jerk back with a cry. Did he hurt him? Did he touch him?

Rage eats inside of me.

“Do you want out now?” Abel asks as he opens the box and light spills in. I don’t want it; I want to stay in the darkness.

“Please, stop hurting him. Please let him go with me. I beg you,” Tomás says.

Abel just chuckles as he walks to the end of the room where he will sit and wait like he did last time.

Tomás reaches in for me, but I curl up tighter.

“No, don’t touch me. Please don’t touch me.”

My sweet brother, trying to help me, trying to save me, and I’m so close to destroying him.

“Come on. I’ll get you out. Come on,” he urges.

“Ender, give in to your nature. This is what you were meant to do. Stop fighting it.” Abel’s mocking voice surrounds me.

Darkness is eating at me as I can smell blood drifting down to me.

“Stay away. Stay away,” I snap, shoving him back. I hear him hit the ground and a pang of regret hits me. “Please. Tomás, run.”

Darkness is creeping around every corner. It’s reaching me as I see that a drop of his blood has landed on the dirty floor of the box. There’s already dried blood and scratches coating it, but all of that is my blood or the blood of the person before me.

I lick the drop of blood, driven mad by the taste. I’m so hungry. So hungry.

“Ender, kill him.”

That voice is all there is left. There’s no way out.

Yes, I must kill him. Everything is better when I do what I’m told. Yes, if I listen, the darkness isn’t as bad. I don’t hurt as much. Everything is better. Yes, everything is better now. It’s all fine now.

“Ender…” Tomás whispers.

I tear back and choke on the blood. It’s in my mouth and as I try to spit it out, I see it running down my brother’s throat.

How long have I been drinking from him? When did I even attack him?

What have I done? “No, no, no,” I whisper as I reach for Tomás, but he’s not moving.

My name was the last word on his lips, the terror on my face the last thing he saw. He’s not…

“No, please. I’m sorry. Please. No…”

I squeeze him to me, begging that I’m wrong. Begging that he’s still alive. What have I done? I really am the monster, not Abel. I’m the one who killed him. He didn’t kill Tomás. I did.

“If you’d listened, he wouldn’t have died,” Abel says. “I would have let you keep him. Like a little reward for you.”

“Save him. Please. Save him.”

“He’s dead. I can’t save the dead. You killed him. He’s dead because you refused to listen to me.”

I can still taste his blood in my mouth and it makes me sick. I spit it out but what does it solve? My brother is dead, and he died by my hands. I am the one who killed him. My hands are shaking. All I am is a monster.

Abel walks over and tips my chin up. “You have one purpose and that is to kill. Do you understand?”

Something breaks in me as all of the fear, the pain, the sadness just tears apart inside of me.

I slowly lower Tomás to the ground and crawl back to the darkness of that box. The darkness is the only place I can escape. I curl up and stare at the wall I once fought to get out of and now welcome because in here, I don’t have to be afraid of myself and what I’ve become.

“You don’t need emotions, you don’t need ties to others.

Any person you ever try to love again, I will make you kill them as you’ve killed your brother.

Your only purpose is the removal of vampires.

You will kill the true vampires and those who I’ve not created.

Anyone who stands up to me will find death by your hands.

You’re unlike the others. You feed off their blood because you are here to reap the lives of those who might stand in my way.

That is your only purpose. Do you understand that now? ”

I never move or speak as he stands over me. Eventually, he must tire because I hear him drag my brother’s body from the room. For hours, it’s all I can hear.