Page 4 of How to Break My Heart 1

I have only just lectured Maddy on being responsible, yet here I am, about to have sex with her brother. With a desperate need to ignore any rational thoughts, I reach out to caress his face. My bold move causes him to moan inside my mouth as the pop of my jeans button sounds between us. Savoring the touch of his skin, I try to bring him closer to me, but then he pulls away, out of breath.

“I shouldn’t h-have…” he stammers, quickly rebuttoning my jeans. “I’m leaving tomorrow, and you’re Maddy’s best friend.”

I shake my head slightly to bring myself back to reality.

But the reality is my best friend’s older brother just kissed me, and we were moments away from something more.

I’ve been avoiding my feelings for the last year. Denial is a vicious game I play with my emotions, because it’s easier than getting hurt. The moment I admit to myself that I have a crush on Aston Beaumont will be the moment my life changes forever.

Surely, if he kissed me first, hemustfeel something.

I can’t be imagining all this.

And it’s not like we’re going to get married or anything.

Though we would make cute kids.

“It’s okay,” I barely manage to say, trying to catch my breath with this sudden burst of confidence. “I want this to happen. I think… um, I like you, Aston. I mean, I’ve had feelings for a while.”

A gentle wave crashes against the sand bank, shifting my attention momentarily. This kiss, in this spot of all places, is something I will never forget. I want to savor it all—the way the water glistens under the moonlight and how, if you listen carefully, the frogs become quiet as if they are at peace listening to the thrum of my heartbeat.

“Everleigh…”

The warning in Aston’s voice and the weight of his gaze make my heart stop abruptly, and suddenly the creatures surrounding us are loud and obnoxious. It’s as if they know something is wrong and are warning me of what’s about to come.

What the hell did I just do?Did I admit I wanted him to kiss me? Did I admit my feelings to the one boy who is completely off-limits to me?

Maddy would kill me if she found out.

Her stern words about Penelope Anderson ring in my head. After Penelope moved to Cinnamon Springs and insisted on becoming friends with Maddy, it didn’t take long before she was showing up at all of Aston’s games—and the truth came out. It was ugly, Maddy was furious, and to this day I don’t know if Penelope successfully got with Aston. She ended up moving back to the West Coast before senior year, and we never heard from her again.

I’m far from a mean girl, but if someone befriends me just to get with my brother, the gloves are off and claws will be out.

It was all very dramatic, but still, those words stuck in my head and it often plays on repeat just to remind me my crush can go nowhere.

“I have to go.”

I place my hands on my stomach to try to control this overwhelmingly bad feeling,

I stand and run back toward the bonfire before he can say anything else. Suddenly, I want to be as far away as possible from Aston.

No one seems to notice my flushed cheeks or my torn jeans. Everyone is happily dancing away, even Maddy, who’s busy with some other guy now. And that doesn’t seem to bother Camden, who is making out with a girl who had her hands all over Aston earlier.

I sit beside the fire with a soda can in my hand, staring into the flames.

Aston’s lips felt like pure bliss. Every part of me ached forhis kiss. My body felt like it was possessed, and nothing could stop me.

Until… Aston pulled away.

“Here he is.” Jake, another senior, chuckles as Aston returns to the bonfire. He avoids my gaze, taking a seat in an empty chair. I steal a careful glance at him. He doesn’t look happy.

“Are you ready?” Jake asks Aston.

“It’s so barbaric,” Tiffany, the girl kissing Camden, complains loudly.

“It’s a ritual, and who are we to break tradition?” Jake moves toward Aston with a needle and a small bottle. Aston removes his shirt as I watch in confusion, with a sudden thickness in my throat.

“What are they doing?” I quiz the guy beside me.