Page 35 of Homebody (The Long Road Home #21)

Chapter Thirty-Four

D ammit. He believed Tessa. Every damn word. Her lies still hurt like hell, but Dean believed what she was saying to him now.

Her fear of being evicted because she couldn’t make rent.

The pressure Ruby, her boss, had put on her to comply.

Not to mention his mother. Dean knew well how persistent his mother could be when she set her mind on something.

And he believed Tessa when she said once she got herself embroiled in the deception she didn’t know how to get out of it.

Not without betraying his mother. Or hurting him.

“Once things between us… progressed.” Her cheeks flushed at the word progressed, no doubt a euphemism for them getting naked and sweaty together.

“You still should have told me.”

“I know. I was too afraid. Afraid you’d hate me for lying. For not telling you everything immediately. There seemed like no good answer, so I kept putting it off.”

“Didn’t you think I would find out?” he asked.

“No. You were leaving.” Her voice broke on the last word as her eyes turned glassy.

Hell, he felt like crying himself. He might as well push this a little further. Make himself completely miserable. Maybe the truth would help him get over her… eventually.

“Was any of it real?” he asked, his throat tight.

“Yes. All of it was real?—”

His brows shot up at that bullshit.

She drew in a breath. “Except for how we met and the reason for my research paper, it was all real. Dean, I loved everything about our time together. Dinner at the lake. Feeding the homeless. You surprising me with the sofa. The beautiful flowers you sent. What we… did together. Do you really think I could fake that ?”

“I guess not. But Tessa, you hurt me.” Why he was baring his soul and admitting that to her he didn’t know.

“I hurt too. More than you can possibly imagine.”

He grunted. “Oh, I think I can imagine.”

“Do you think maybe we can be friends?” she asked.

Dean barked out a short laugh. “No, Tessa. I don’t want to be friends.”

Her lips pressed tightly together for a moment before the words came rushing out like air out of a balloon, “Well, I don’t want to be friends either but it’s better than nothing. Because I don’t think I can stand being nothing to you.”

The last sentence visibly broke her. She dissolved into tears and damned if it didn’t break him too, just when he thought he couldn’t be any more broken than he already was.

“Tessa, please stop.” When that didn’t work, he let out a breath of resignation and pulled her into his arms. “Please. Stop.”

“I can’t. Because I love you and you hate me.”

He froze at the muffled sob-filled words. “What did you say?”

She pulled back enough to stare up at him with tear-filled eyes. “I said I love you.”

Yup. There it was again. He hadn’t misheard. Love . Present tense.

He bit out a curse. He didn’t want to do this. Didn’t want to open himself up to a world of hurt. Not again with the same woman who’d cut him so deeply already. But he couldn’t stop himself.

“I love you too.”

He saw the hope in her eyes. “You do?”

He scowled, angrier at himself now than at her. He’d tried repairing things with exes before. It didn’t work. Juniper came to mind as a prime example.

Liam’s voice echoed in his brain saying, “ Tessa is different ”, followed closely by Blessing’s words, “ Sometimes good people do questionable things .”

Internally Dean let out a string of obscenities worthy of the sailor he was before he gave in. There was no fighting this feeling, so he said, “Tessa, I love you so fucking much it’s going to destroy me.”

Tessa’s tears began to flow again, but this time they seemed different as hope, or maybe relief, shone through.

“What do we do now?” Liam asked.

“We could go back to my room?” Tessa suggested.

He laughed. “Yeah. That’s a start. But I was talking more about when you fly back to New York and I stay here.”

“We’ll figure it out.”

“Yeah, I guess we’ll have to.” Because like it or not, he was all in.

A knock came on Tessa’s door about an hour later. Since it was taking Tessa too long to get dressed after scooping up all the clothes they’d left scattered on the floor and sprinting for the bathroom, Dean decided he’d better answer the door.

In just jeans and his T-shirt, he pulled open the door to find Liam standing there, looking amused as his gaze dropped to take in Dean’s bare feet. “Things worked out, I see.”

“Yes, smart ass.”

“Good. I’m glad. Except…” Liam’s focus moved to a flustered Tessa, who emerged from the bathroom now dressed but red-faced. “Am I losing my assistant? You gonna quit to move down here to be closer to Casanova?”

“No,” Dean answered before Tessa had a chance to. “I won’t let her give up her dream career for me. And as much as I hate to admit it, Walsh, the path to her success might lie with you and your creepy cadaver lab.”

“Thanks, I think,” Liam said.

“Besides, it looks like I’ll be back on the ship in March for six months,” Dean continued. “I don’t want her in Virginia all alone.”

Liam looked to Tessa. “You all right with your boyfriend’s plan?”

Tessa nodded. “Yes. I think I’ll need the job… and you and Red and Ruby and Susan, all of you, to get me through waiting for him to get back safely.”

“And then? Once he’s back?” Liam asked.

“Then, I’m hoping my incredibly generous boss will let me have some time off to fly here and visit with my boyfriend once he’s back,” Tessa hinted.

“Forget that. I’ll fly to you the moment my boots hit US soil. Or as soon as command cuts me loose for leave.” Dean tightened his arm around her.

“Either way, Tessa can take whatever time off she needs.” Liam clapped his hands together once. “Good. Looks like everybody’s on the same page.”

“Thank you. You really are the best boss ever,” Tessa gushed.

“You had better not tell Ruby you said that,” Liam joked.

“All right, so Tessa and I will talk more back at the lab on Monday. Until then, I’m actually flying back tomorrow morning.

You, Tessa, are flying back Sunday evening as scheduled.

A car will pick you up in Albany and drive you back to Mudville. ”

“Wait, what?” Tessa asked.

Liam grinned. “I thought you two might want as much time alone together as you can get.”

“What about your meetings?” Tessa asked.

“What meetings?” Liam winked. “You’re not the only one capable of lying.”

“You didn’t have to be here for work? You flew here just for me and Dean?” she asked.

“I’m not that generous. I do have a lecture to deliver in about an hour so I gotta get going.

But your hotel room is booked for a Sunday late check-out.

I didn’t want Sinclair to get written up for sneaking a female into the bachelor barracks on my account.

This okay with you both? We all good?” Liam glanced between them.

“Yes!” Tessa agreed.

“That is very okay,” Dean agreed. “But…one question. What if we didn’t make up? What was your plan then, genius?”

“Oh I wasn’t leaving, and neither was she, until you reconciled.” Liam looked smug as he said, “Have fun, you two.” Then he left and they were alone again.

Tessa turned to face Dean and slid her arms around his waist. “Liam is so amazing. I mean, look at everything he did for us. Paying to fly me down here. Getting us a room. Booking me a car from the airport. And look at how he came up with this plan all on his own?—”

“Tessa, please stop talking about how amazing Liam is.”

“Why? You’re not jealous, are you?” Her lips twitched with just a hint of a smile she was trying to hide.

“So much so I’d deck him just for looking at you if he wasn’t my friend. And your boss,” Dean admitted.

“Good,” she said.

“Good?” His eyes widened.

“Yes. Because just seeing Juniper and knowing you two were together makes me feel like I need to throw up.”

His dark brows shot up. “Now that is ridiculous.”

“Why? She’s gorgeous and you have to admit you two were together for quite a while.”

“It’s ridiculous because I never loved her. Not really. It was a teenage crush when we were in school. Pure animal lust later?—”

“Not helping,” she warned.

He paused and ran his thumb over her cheek. “What I’m saying is I never loved her the way I love you. Totally and completely.”

Tessa visibly melted at his words. He saw it happen starting with her expression that said, aww even if her mouth didn’t. It traveled down her body as she leaned toward him and her knees softened, close to buckling. All at his words.

Maybe he wasn’t so bad at this romance stuff after all.

Standing on tip toe, she said close to his mouth. “Now would be a good time for you to take me to bed, because I’m so in love with you I might just die if you don’t.”

He smiled. “That I can do.”