Page 47 of Home With Holden

Me: If it was small, why would Noah know and not tell me? Why would everyone know but me? It feels like they’re all in on some big inside joke, and I’m just standing here looking stupid.

Tyler: Damn. That sucks, man. Have you tried demanding answers?

Me: You know me. I’ve tried everything. I’ve asked nicely, I’ve hinted. It’s like running into a wall.

Tyler: So what are you gonna do?

Me: I don’t know. I really like him, Ty. He makes me feel things I didn’t think I could feel anymore. But this secret... it’s like a wall between us, and I’m starting to think I’ll never get past it.

Tyler: Ugh. I hate that for you. He needs to step up. You deserve to know what’s going on.

Me: Yeah. If he doesn’t tell me soon, I think I have to walk away. I can’t keep doing this—being in the dark. It’s making me feel sick, like my stomach’s twisted all the time.

Tyler: You gotta look out for yourself too, you know? If you need anything, I’m here. You know you can always come crash with me.

Me: Thanks, Ty. I just needed to vent.

Tyler: Always, bro. Just don’t let it eat you up. Either he steps up, or he doesn’t. You’ll be okay, I promise.

I was pacing Holden’s living room, drumming my fingers nervously against my thigh. The quiet of the house pressed in on me. I couldn’t keep doing this—waiting, hoping, feeling like something was about to explode.

Why did Holden act like telling me would be the end of the world? It only highlighted how much I didn’t belong and made my heart ache in ways I couldn’t even put into words.

I paused by the window, staring out at the fading light. The mountains were just shadows now. I loved it out here, but even the beauty couldn’t calm me down. I’d tried. I really had. I told Holden he could tell me when he was ready. But the longer it dragged on, the worse it got.

I couldn’t take it anymore.

I glanced at the door to Holden’s office. He’d gone in there after dinner to handle some emergency at the resort. I knew Iwas probably making him nervous, but I was past caring. Every time I looked at him, all I could think was:Why won’t you just tell me?

Taking a deep breath, I gathered whatever courage I had left and crossed the room. I knocked on the door, barely waiting for his quiet “Come in” before opening it.

Holden looked up from his laptop, his eyes meeting mine. For a moment, I almost lost my nerve. He looked so tired, like the weight of whatever he was holding back was pressing down on him just as much as it was on me.

“Mylo?” Holden said, his voice gentle. “Everything okay?”

“We need to talk.” The words came out shakier than I wanted, and I hated it. I wanted to sound firm. But this was Holden, and every time I looked at him, all I could think about was how much I wanted this to work. How much I wanted him. How right it felt when I was around him, like every horrible thing in my life had led me to this moment.

He set the laptop aside and stood up, concern written all over his face. “Okay. What’s going on? Is everything okay?”

I crossed my arms, more to have something to do with my hands than anything else. “I can’t keep pretending like everything’s okay when I know you’re keeping something from me. It’s driving me crazy, and it’s… it’s not fair, Holden.”

He winced, his gaze dropping to the floor. I could see the tension in his shoulders, the way his hands curled into fists at his sides. He didn’t want to do this. I knew that. But I also knew I couldn’t keep waiting.

“There’s something you’re not telling me,” I pressed on, my voice trembling just a little. “And I get it, maybe it’s complicated. But whatever it is, it can’t be worse than what my brain’s been coming up with. I just want the truth. I just want you to trust me enough to tell me.”

He didn’t answer. He just stood there, staring at the floor. That silence—God, that silence said everything.

My heart sank, a lump forming in my throat as the realization hit me. He wasn’t going to tell me. He couldn’t.

I blinked back tears, biting the inside of my cheek, trying to hold myself together. I’d promised myself I wouldn’t cry. Not here. Not in front of him.

“I can’t keep doing this,” I said, my voice breaking. “I thought we had something real, Holden. I thought you felt the same way.”

His head snapped up then, his eyes filled with something I couldn’t quite read—pain, regret, maybe even fear. “I do,” he said, his voice barely a whisper. “I do feel the same way. But it’s not that simple, Mylo. Please, just… give me more time.”

I shook my head, the tears finally spilling over. “I’ve given you time. I’ve been patient. But I can’t keep waiting. I can’t keep feeling like I’m the only one a hundred percent in this.”

Silence. Heavy, suffocating silence that stretched on forever.