Page 12 of Hold Me Tight

I refocus my attention and flip the next pancake before buttering and cutting it up for her.

Once Nora’s done eating, I clean up the kitchen and then we head to the bathroom for a little bubble time with her bath toys. She’s like a little mermaid in the tub. Next summer, she’ll be old enough for swim lessons. Hopefully, we’ll be able to find some at the local rec department that won’t cost an arm and leg.

When the time comes, I’ll have to talk to Zane about it. The child support he gives me doesn’t stretch as far as it used to. He’s lucky my parents watch Nora for free when I’m at work. If I had to pay for daycare, buying groceries would be even more of a challenge. And I certainly wouldn’t be able to afford this townhouse that’s close to the bakery.

It’s only after Nora’s fingers turn pruney that I wrap a towel around her and dry her off. Once she’s in her unicorn pajamas, we turn on a show, and she sits quietly next to me on the couch while flipping through a picture book with her pacifier. When she turned two, I told myself it was time to wean her off it. Now, a few months shy of three, I still haven’t followed through.

It’s not a fight I’m looking forward to.

Just as I’m about to put Nora to bed, there’s a knock on the door. A sigh escapes me as I consider ignoring it.

I know exactly who I’ll find on the other side.

Even though I’ve asked Zane not to, he has a habit of showing up without warning, usually right before Nora’s bedtime. She’ll get wound up and then settling her down for sleep becomes even more of a challenge.

Nora blinks the drowsiness from her eyes. “Dada?”

I force a smile and nod. “Yup, I think so.”

It nearly breaks my heart when she claps her chubby hands together and races for the door. She’s practically vibrating with excitement. She’s so starved for his attention when she’s nothing more than a passing thought to him. While Zane certainly isn’t the worst father in the world, he’ll never win any awards for going above and beyond.

All I want to do is give this little girl the world, and I can’t even give her a father who’s genuinely interested in her.

It’s disheartening.

Nora dances at my feet in her footed pajamas as I open the door. Her face lights up as Zane waltzes in wearing designer sunglasses and a hoodie that probably cost more than my monthly grocery bill.

“Hey, kiddo.” He reaches down and absently ruffles Nora’s golden locks before beelining to the couch. As soon as he drops down, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone.

“Nice of you to drop by,” I say dryly.

With a grin, he puts the slim device away. “No problem. I’ve been sitting on some big news and I wanted you to be the first to know.” Before I have a chance to steel myself, he announces, “Gigi and I are getting engaged and filming a wedding special. It’s gonna be huge.”

I blink as my mind cartwheels. I have no idea what to say as he stares at me expectantly. “Wow. That was, um, fast.”

He laughs, not taking offense to the comment. “Fast is the new trend, babe. People eat that shit up. We’ve got the network behind us, a stylized beach shoot, two dress designers vying?—”

His words blur as my gaze shifts to Nora, who has climbed onto the couch and is sitting beside him, staring up at him like a puppy who only wants a scrap of attention.

It’s painful to realize that his gaze never drifts to her. Instead, it stays pinned to mine. I want to shake him for being so obsessed with chasing fame. He’s got plenty of it with his hockey career.

But that’s not enough. He wants more.

He has no idea how much it would mean to his daughter if he just gave her twenty minutes of his undivided attention. A crumb of his affection. She doesn’t need a camera crew or fake fairy tale weddings.

She just needs him to show up for her.

Unfortunately, Zane isn’t capable of that.

After nearly three years of me gently pointing this out, he refuses to hear what I’m trying to say. He’s missing out on so much. I’m sad for both him and her.

Zane continues talking, oblivious to the fact I no longer give a damn about his personal life. The only thing I care about is how it affects our daughter.

“It’s gonna be a wild ride. Think ten-episode arc leading to the wedding. Gigi’s working with a florist in Bali?—”

“Zane,” I interrupt before the entire conversation can spiral out of control. “I need to talk to you.”

His brows rise as he glances at me. “What’s up?”