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They never held a wedding on the property before, but then again, for many years, you couldn’t even tell there was a gazebo in the backyard because it was so overgrown. The bride waited, her male of honor by her side, and looked in the oval mirror at her dress one last time.

The dress resembled the first-date dress the staging company selected for her insofar as it featured some black embroidery over a mesh with nude fabric underneath, but where the dress they picked had been cheap and a little fast fashion, her gown looked like a gown.

It swept in a sweetheart neckline down before the weight of fabric dangled to the floor in a long, elegant line.

Her hair, curled and in an updo, allowed her to show off oversized earrings in a fun turquoise they found while traveling out west—her something blue.

It turned out they all enjoyed adventure, regardless of the shape or flavor.

Jimothy squeezed her hand. “You look so beautiful. I might cry.”

“You’ll ruin your guyliner,” she said to him, blinking back her own tears. “Come on, I don’t want to wait anymore.”

Taking his hand, he walked out with her toward the back yard of the house. They decorated the interior, too, the sweeping cathedral ceiling now hung with flowers, alive in a way they couldn’t have imagined when they first stepped through the doors of the Hoarder Hell House.

In the back yard, behind the garage, Meredith followed the stone path past the small pond where a crane dipped his head until it spotted them, flying away with a small splash of sound.

Around one last corner, and she spotted the two rows of white chairs neatly set up, leading to the round floral centerpiece they chose for the ceremony.

“It’s time,” she whispered to Jimothy, who sniffled next to her.

“I can’t believe you guys are doing this,” he sniffled. “This is the sweetest thing ever, even if it has zero legal relevance whatsoever in our modern society.”

She elbowed him, grinning. “Are you here to be supportive or give me shit?”

“Both,” he suggested, giving her a squeeze. “Either way, I made you smile. Let’s go get you married.”

With that, he led her down the aisle toward her grooms. Bodie and Jeremiah both waited at the end of the aisle, looking dashing in very different ways and taking her breath away.

Something extra sizzled down her spine when she noticed the small bite mark on both of their necks, near their jawbone on the right side—her mark, she told them, since they got to put rings on her to pee on her like a dog on a tree.

They laughed, but they both let her mark them. They wore those marks in public in pride, like she would wear their rings.

She joined them at the altar and Jimothy stepped back, sniffling while Marshall, his announcer voice retired for the day, caught him into a hug.

“You ready for this?” she asked Bodie, as the officiant stepped up behind the small podium. “This is some serious shit.”

“I’m ready,” Bodie said, taking her fingertips in his hand.

He held his other hand out toward Jeremiah, who took it without hesitation.

The men became close over the months of their tenuous and strange relationship.

Maybe they didn’t love one another—probably they never would.

Although Jeremiah seemed to have some pan tendencies, Bodie seemed to be much more straight in his preferences, but despite that, they loved one another.

Meredith sighed. It would be a big commitment for them, coming out openly to the public as being in a relationship with another man, but it was a big commitment for her, too. It wasn’t every day a witch promised happily ever after to a man.

They said their vows simply, with little additional inflection, and in moments, it was done. “We’re married?” she asked, blinking up at Bodie, who pulled her into a hug. “Who do I kiss first?”

Bodie leaned over, giving Jeremiah a smacking kiss on the lips before grinning at her. “There, I took care of first kiss. You pick second.”

She cupped his face in her hands and sank into his lips, reveling in the special magic of his touch against her skin.

Right as she was breathless, a little lost, and probably drunk on his taste, her other husband spun her around, taking her lips with his softer mouth, teasing her needs even higher until she gasped for them.

“Congratulations!” Everyone around them yelled, but Meredith only had eyes for her husbands.

“We still have to make it through the reception,” Bodie pointed out, squeezing her ass from behind with both hands so she sighed for him. “How the fuck do people make it through the whole reception?”

“You’re looking at this the wrong way,” Jeremiah said, scooping up his new bride and tossing her over his shoulder. “Follow me.”

He hauled her cheerfully into the house as giggles erupted from her throat, the thud of Bodie’s following footsteps close behind him.

When she again was flipped upright and placed on her feet, she stood back in the bedroom with the window seat.

“Oh,” she whispered, trailing her hand over the polished wood of the window seat.

They polished it until it shined, cleaned this house til it sparkled, and rebuilt it into something beautiful. They did it…together.

“Our room,” said Bodie, spinning slowly in the center of the room. “I do like where your thoughts are, Jeremiah, but do you really think we could get away with that before our reception?”

Jeremiah didn’t answer, walking over to the double doors, clicking the lock, then removing the key to place it on the mantle above the fireplace. “I thought we already agreed that we weren’t living by anyone else’s rules anymore, and instead we were living by our own rules?”

“We did,” Meredith agreed, slipping pins from her hair so it fell around her shoulders. She watched Bodie as his eyes followed the weight of the silken mass—her hair flat out did it for him.

“If we’re making our own rules, who says that the couple doesn’t get to shag before the reception?

We’re the ones who just vowed to stay together forever.

We got married. Shouldn’t we immediately reap the rewards of our labors?

” Jeremiah asked, unbuttoning the back of her dress.

Despite knowing she had magic, her lovers often preferred to take their time when stripping her, removing each layer as if opening a gift.

“Nobody said we can’t do it after the wedding,” Meredith pointed out, turning to nibble on his jaw. “But we have guests waiting for us.”

“We’ll be quick,” Bodie promised, hiking up her skirts from behind so he could slip inside her.

She moaned for him, arching into Jeremiah as the pleasure began to build deep within her core. “Moan for me,” Jeremiah begged, tweaking her nipples and rubbing himself against her. “Moan louder, Meredith. Let everyone at this wedding know how your husbands pleasure you.”

She couldn’t hear him, lost in the pounding thrusts from Bodie as his thickness filled her, stretched her, left her trembling. Before she could recover the experience, Jeremiah pulled her atop him, sliding inside her still quaking body to moan. “You’re still so damn tight,” he whispered.

Bodie grabbed her hair, yanking her head back, then ordered her to ride Jeremiah. “I said now, Meredith. Ride him.”

She obeyed, arching above her husband and bucking as Bodie’s lips suckled at her breast greedily.

When she shattered, she lay limp on top of Jeremiah, Bodie’s weight limp on top of them both, panting as she tried to remember how to think.

“Do you think that will ever get old?” Bodie asked, rolling to the side to pull his bride and groom closer.

“No,” said Jeremiah easily, bunching up his jacket to give to Bodie to use for a pillow. This will always be magical, because Meredith is magical.”

She sighed, pinching him. “My magic isn’t what makes this magical,” she pointed out. “I hardly got to use any magic, because they had cameras on me the whole time.”

“You still cheated,” Bodie pointed out. “That’s hot.”

She punched him, too, for good measure before laughing. “So, you’re telling me your idea of happy ever after is hooking up with a cheater?”

He kissed her, his tongue tangling with hers until she again became breathless, needing him again as much as she did mere moments before. She wasn’t sure she would ever stop needing him, craving his touch and his pleasure. “If you’re the cheater, then yes, witch.”

“What is with the name calling?” Jeremiah asked, tucking her butt closer to his dick. “It’s very immature.”

“Shut up, Jimbob,” replied Bodie, earning him a punch from Jeremiah.

Once they caught their breath, Meredith magicked them back to their pre-sexual bliss appearances. Magic might not solve every problem, but it was a wonder for fixing hair, she thought for not the first time.

They walked together out to their reception, hand in hand. Meredith never would’ve imagined her version of happy ever after involved two men, but she also would’ve never thought they could actually manage to gut and remodel that house in under a month with only a budget of twenty thousand dollars.

When she glanced back at the house, one of the rafters started to fall, so she pulled her wand out and gave it a little wiggle behind the back of her leg. No one caught her using magic during the competition, nor did they ever accuse her of cheating.

“I saw that,” Gary said, appearing near her side. “You’re not as sneaky as you think.”

“Nobody even noticed,” she pointed out. “It didn’t harm a thing.”

The cat sniffed, glancing at the house. “How much of that house is held together with magic and duct tape, because you only had a month to finish, but no one realized it yet besides you guys, despite the cameras,” he wondered aloud.

Meredith wrinkled her nose, remembering the piece of ceiling, which had fallen in on the laundry room, so she gave it a quick zap to put it back into position.

She also remembered a few of what Bodie called structural pieces that she magicked back to being solid when she realized how badly the termites ate away at the wood.

“Let’s just say it’s a good thing I am not still in to remodeling homes,” Meredith agreed, giving the cat a gentle scratch. “It turns out, it isn’t my strongsuit.”

“So, what are you into now?” Gary asked, considering the crowd of guests there to celebrate the wedding.

So many people turned up to celebrate their day, from locals in the small town where they filmed the show, to Carmen and Slater as well as members of their own families—even a few witches could be seen among the guests.

“Oh, it’s not nearly as dangerous as home improvement,” Meredith said, heading for the cake. They already did the official slicing, but it never hurt to grab a second slice.

“Not much is as dangerous as home improvement,” Gary pointed out. “You used power tools. Saws. You had hammers, big hammers, and smashed down walls. You?—”

“I don’t need a summary,” she pointed out.

“I’m just saying not much else could possibly be as dangerous as home improvement, even if it is considered somewhat the neighborhood of women’s crafting.

I always said…where are you going, Meredith?

” Gary followed her as she snuck behind the garage.

Spotting one of her husbands, she signaled to him, gesturing wildly and pointing. He grinned, jogging to catch up.

“Don’t stress,” Meredith said. “It’s a honeymoon. All couples have a honeymoon, so why shouldn’t we? Are you suggesting because it is a non-traditional marriage, we don’t deserve the same traditional ceremonies and experiences?”

Gary scowled at her or gave the closest approximation of a scowl that a cat could manage.

“You know perfectly well I wasn’t suggesting anything of that nature,” the cat said, his expression deeply offended.

“You’re fully allowed the full range of experiences.

For instance, if you decide to become a mother, I don’t see why you should just have one child.

Why not have one of each then compare them, like baby gladiators in a tiny ring… ”

“You’re brutal, Gary,” she pointed out. “But this is why you’ll like the honeymoon.”

“Is that a spaceship?” Gary asked, his face horrified as she approached the glowing lights running up the edges of the metal walkway. They blinked a rainbow of colors, like a disco on aluminum.

“Sure is,” Meredith agreed, and Bodie joined her, taking her hand as she stepped inside. Jeremiah, seconds later, followed the couple and Gary sighed deeply.

“Does this mean I seriously have to also go on the spaceship?” he asked.

“Honeymoon,” Meredith repeated. “You’re really just looking at this whole experience the wrong way.”

With that, she buckled her seatbelt, took one of each of her husband’s hands, and prepared to launch into the future.

THE END