Page 18 of Hitched at Randy’s (Diner Days)

Eighteen

Evan

S tepping into my apartment alone feels off. I’ve spent the better part of the last two weeks with Cam at my side, and now, being here, I’m looking over my shoulder expecting Vi to jump out of the woodwork. I shake off the thought and set the pile of boxes down that I bought on the way back. It doesn’t make sense to take any of the furniture that we bought together, and besides, Vi was the one who picked it all out. I pull out my phone, connecting it to the bluetooth speaker and playing music. I need something to drown out my thoughts.

I move around the apartment on autopilot, collecting my things and loading them into box after box. At some point, it sets in how final this is. Sure, I already decided to move back to Boston regardless if I get that job, but now it feels real. I’m singing along with the music, and it feels like a weight is lifting from my shoulders. I’m looking forward to the move and working somewhere new. I’m looking forward to living with Cam.

I already called him when the plane touched down, but it was mostly a short conversation to let him know I’m okay. We made plans for me to call him again when I’ve packed the last of my things and started driving back. I’ve filled a few boxes when my stomach grumbles, reminding me how long it’s been since I last ate. I pull the fridge open, hoping there’s something quick I can make inside, but it’s mostly bare. I find a TV dinner in the freezer and pull it out. It’ll have to do for now. While it’s cooking in the microwave, I’m running over a list of the rooms and thinking where I should go next. It was easy enough to clear my things from the living room, and there’s barely anything in the kitchen that’s just mine. The part that will take the longest is the bedroom. My bookshelf is full, stacked with not only the books I enjoy teaching but also books I’ve enjoyed reading. It’s probably the most possessions I have in the apartment. I decide to hit the bedroom last. It’ll feel like a bigger accomplishment to knock out the other rooms first, and I can then give the bedroom my attention.

My mind made up, I grab my tray from the microwave and take it to the living room to eat. My head bobs along to the music as I eat. The worst part about all of this is after I get everything packed up, I’ll still have to drive back to Boston. I’m not looking forward to the long hours of driving it’ll take. Still, the drive might be nice. It’s been a long time since I’ve done a road trip, but part of me wishes Cam had come with me. It would’ve been more fun with him by my side, especially at night when we stopped at hotels.

I finish the other rooms easily, leaving me with the bedroom. The books stack neatly in the boxes, but I have to be careful not to pack them too full and make the boxes too heavy. I take breaks between books, packing away my clothes and other things. I open the nightstand drawer, then pause. My drawer isn’t as interesting as Cam’s. It mostly holds condoms and lube, but there’s also a butt plug I’d nearly forgotten. I grab it, adding it to the pile of things on the bed to keep with me in the front of the car. It might come in handy for plans I have later.

By the end of the day, I’ve made a decent dent in packing away my things. I didn’t realize I had as much stuff as I do, but I guess it adds up. I might as well sleep here tonight, and I can head out first thing tomorrow after I pack up the last couple of things. I strip down to my underwear and lie down on the bed, turning on the TV and letting it play in the background as I send a text to Cam.

Cam

Calling it a night. I’ll finish packing the rest tomorrow.

Thanks for letting me know. Sweet dreams. I’ll miss having you in my bed.

I toy with the idea of sending him a sext, but in the end I chicken out. It was one thing to joke about it, but I’m not sure about the reality. Cam might be up for fooling around with me, but that doesn’t mean he’d want to do things over the phone. Besides, at this point, it feels like it’d be more forced. I’m not really in the mood, but I could get it up if I tried. For tonight, it doesn’t feel worth the effort.

Cam

I’ll miss you too.

My eyes focus on the TV, watching the show until my eyelids grow heavy and I fall asleep.

I load the last box into the car and do another sweep of the apartment, checking to see if I missed anything. I’ve been mulling over the idea of texting Viola to tell her I got my things and ask what she wants me to do with my key. With how unresponsive she was to my other messages, I don’t know that she’ll even bother to answer me, but I guess it doesn’t hurt to try.

Viola

I packed up my stuff from the apartment. I’m leaving now. What do you want me to do with my key?

I don’t expect an immediate response, so I’m not surprised when the phone stays silent. I switch over to my text thread with Cam, letting him know I’m leaving, and he sends back a quick thumbs-up. Guess there’s nothing left to do but to head out. I climb into the car and start the engine. I’m in no rush, knowing the trip will take days. Driving along the highway, I hear a message chime on my phone, but I can’t stop to check it. It’ll have to wait until I pull into the next rest area.

I turn the knob for the radio, raising the volume as I sing along. Despite leaving the apartment and basically starting over in Boston, I’m feeling excited. I’m looking forward to getting home to Cam. And fuck, when did Cam’s apartment become home? He’s always been my best friend, but I didn’t realize how much I missed him until the last couple of weeks we spent together. We spent nearly every moment together by each other’s side, and it felt right. I can’t wait to see him and kiss him again. Maybe it’s not a terrible idea for us to push back the divorce. In fact, maybe we should have a real talk about trying this thing out for real. I think we were only kidding ourselves to think we could fool around without feelings getting involved. I’ve loved Cam for years, and sure, maybe it was platonic, but it’s easy to see how those lines have blurred now that we’re having sex.

I take the next exit, pulling off the highway to a convenience store. When I pull out my phone, I notice the text message and bite my lip.

Viola

I’m doing a show in Sacramento tonight. Any chance you can meet me and hand off the key?

Technically, I’ll be passing by that way as I drive. It wouldn’t be a hassle to stop and meet up with her, but do I want to do this in person? Maybe I could mail her the key. No, that’d be silly. My thumb moves over the phone, writing a message back.

Viola

I should be in town in a couple of hours. I’ll text when I get closer.

My heart beats faster in my chest at the thought of talking with Vi, but at the same time I think this will be a good thing. She can ignore my messages and refuse to talk to me over the phone, but in person, it’ll be easier to tell my side of the story. Part of me wonders why it still matters, but I want her to know I didn’t cheat on her with Cam. I guess it doesn’t change things, though. It’s not like I’m interested in getting back together with Vi.

The music on the radio drowns out my thoughts as I pull onto the highway again. I stopped in the store for some snacks and caffeine, but this change of plans has me altering my direction slightly to meet up with Viola. Still, the drive seems to stretch out before me like the long road I’m on. My phone rings and I can see the caller ID with Cam’s name. I hit the speakerphone button, taking the call. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Just checking in to see how things are going,” he says.

“Good. I’m meeting up with Vi to give her the key, then I’ll keep driving until it gets late.”

Cam goes quiet, and I wonder if I said something wrong. “You’re meeting up with Viola?” he finally says.

“Yeah, she’s a couple of towns over, so I’m driving out to meet her. Just to hand off the key.”

“Okay. You’ll call me when you stop for the night?” he asks.

“I’ll call,” I answer. “Can’t wait to see you again.”

“Me too.” We end the call, and I notice how tight my chest is. It’s crazy to think how much has changed in the past couple of weeks. It doesn’t feel like we’re rushing into things, but now that I’m thinking about it, I can see why he might be concerned about me meeting up with my ex. I wish I could tell him he has nothing to worry about, but I don’t think Cam would believe it. He’s a worrier by nature, and the best thing I can do is keep driving and get back to him.

When the sign tells me I’m entering Sacramento, I pull off to a rest stop. I’m not sure where Vi wants to meet up, so I send her a text message.

Viola

We go on stage in twenty minutes. It’ll have to wait until after the show.

Can I meet you at the theater? Where is it?

The sooner I can meet up with her and get this done with, the better. It’s bad enough I’m losing time I could be driving. She texts back the name of the theater, and I copy it into a Google search. It’s nearby, the drive only taking a few minutes before I’m pulling into a parking spot. On a whim, I walk up to the theater and get in line with the other people for a ticket. If I have to wait to give her the key, I might as well watch the show.

The house is packed as I take my seat, but I have a decent view of the stage. The lights go dim as the play starts, and I’m glad Vi made me watch musicals with her. I can follow along with the play from seeing the Johnny Depp version. When Viola steps on stage as Ms. Lovett, I recognize her immediately. She doesn’t look nervous at all as she launches into song, singing about the worst pies in London. The way she throws her whole self into the role reminds me of why I fell for her in the first place.

Watching her act at college and seeing her on the stage now, I can see how much she’s improved since then, but there’s still her same passion for acting. I fell in love with that passion, but I don’t think she ever loved me as much as she loves this. Being on stage is her calling, and I don’t blame her for canceling the wedding. When it came down to it, we had different priorities, and this breakup was just waiting to happen. I think it’s for the best that it ended up the way it did.