Page 59 of His White Moonlight (Dominant CEO Shifter Romance #1)

I stared at the hallway at the top of the stairs, debating what to do.

It didn’t bode well for me that Bennett was keeping his distance this time, not after that big of a control slip.

I shouldn’t have insinuated that I was willing to do more than kiss him because I wasn’t.

I hadn’t changed my mind. After everything I’d been through, I deserved a life of my own, on my own terms.

Me: Thank you. I’ll see you in the morning.

He didn’t answer. I looked up the stairs again, feeling nervous. Was he waiting for me? Would he pounce? Would I survive if he did?

I glanced at my bandaged arm and made a face at the white gauze, my only protection against the big, horny shifter who wanted me to be his mate.

Me: He’s still upstairs, and I’m tired. Will he leave me alone if I go to bed, or will I wake up pregnant?

Grandma: He’ll leave you alone, but I’m happy to come over and sit outside your door if you have any doubts.

I bit my lip and debated between my fears and my guilt over interrupting Grandma’s sleep. Guilt won.

Me: No need. I’ll stop being a baby and go to bed.

Grandma: You’re not a baby, and I understand why you don’t trust him. My phone is right next to me. Call or text anytime. I love you, my little Wren.

Her unwavering support helped bolster my courage. If I hadn’t been wearing just a T-shirt, I would have felt less nervous. Not that underwear would have been much protection in his current mood.

I quietly crept up the stairs and saw his door was closed when I turned down the hall—a good sign, since I hadn’t closed it. My bedroom door was open, but my closet door wasn’t. What did that mean? Was he still in the closet, or his room?

Unsure how safe I was, I quickly got under the covers and turned off the bedside light.

With my stitched forearm prominently displayed on top of the covers, over my chest, I closed my eyes.

I thought it would take me forever to fall asleep.

It should have with my suspicion that Bennett was still in my closet.

But between the two runs and the trauma, I was out before I even knew I was going under.

* * *

The rhythmic sensation of someone petting my hair roused me out of sleep at some point before dawn.

“I’m not going to survive,” Bennett said softly.

His mouth brushed my forehead, and I realized I was using him as a body pillow with my stitched arm on his chest.

“I’m losing my mind thinking about you possibly wanting me like I want you. I should leave, but I can’t.”

His words brought me further out of sleep.

“Shh. Sleep,” I murmured.

“Sorry, baby. I’ll go to sleep.”

I nodded against his chest and sank right back under.

* * *

The space beside me was empty when I woke up. I started to reach out to feel his spot and winced at the feel of my heartbeat in my arm.

“I have an ice pack if you want it,” Bennett said.

Turning my head, I saw him standing next to the bed.

I flushed and nodded, wondering if he knew what I’d been reaching for.

Instead of handing over the ice pack, he carefully placed it on my arm as he sat beside me. He looked tired, his hair wasn’t styled like he usually did, and he was wearing a long-sleeved shirt and pants that didn’t match.

“I’m sorry about last night. The cut. The stitches. Losing control. All of it.”

He kept his gaze on my arm instead of looking at me like he usually did as he continued speaking.

“Grandma says true mates rarely wait. Like humans, we sometimes date first—but the deeper the bond, the faster we claim each other. If we delay, it's usually because we’re unsure or hoping for someone better.

“For me, it’s always been you. From the moment I saw you, I knew. My certainty has never wavered.

“Every day we were apart cut deeper than the last. I could barely think straight some days.

“You said I was perfect, but I’m not. I mastered everything I set my mind to because I had to.

It was the only way to survive wanting you.

I pushed myself to become the mate who could protect you in both our worlds.

I could run Wulf Enterprises or challenge for Alpha without hesitation.

But when it comes to you…I’ve never known how to stop needing you.

“I’m good at everything I’ve set my mind to, except you. I promised I would do better, but every time I try, I fail. I thought I was listening, but I wasn’t.”

He finally looked up and met my gaze. “I won’t stop you from going to Coalwell. No strings. No conditions. I’ll stay in the apartment—not to watch you, just to be close, in case you need me.”

I should have been elated, jumping with joy. Instead, it felt like a hollow victory. Maybe that was just the stitches and my throbbing arm talking, though.

He continued to watch me, waiting for a response, but I wasn’t sure what one to give.

I could tell him I’d be safer without him around, but my time at school proved that was a lie.

I could thank him for finally listening, but he wasn’t actually letting me go.

At least, not fully. He would still be close by.

The words he’d whispered last night rose in my mind.

I’m not going to survive.

My heart gave an uncomfortable lurch.

No matter what, I couldn’t say the truth—that the thought of him living alone after he admitted each day without me hurt him left me feeling empty and selfish. Hating that feeling, I looked down at my arm.

Don’t go soft now, Wrenly. Tell him you're safer without him. You earned your freedom.

When I lifted my gaze again, he was a little too slow masking his anguish.

Dammit.

“Can we agree to stop worrying about tomorrow and focus on each day as it comes? At least until the stitches are out?” I asked.

He nodded as his mask slipped back into place.

“Good. I need some food, a pain reliever, and my laptop at the dining table for some study time.”

I didn’t ask him what he needed because I already knew. Me. He just needed me.

He handed me the medicine he had left for me the night before, along with the glass of water.

“Do you want to shower again? I can wrap your arm.”

“No, I think I’ll skip that for now. Would you mind carrying my laptop downstairs while I get dressed?”

He hesitated, his gaze flicking to my closet.

“Would you mind if I picked out some clothes for you again? I’d rather you not go into your closet until I fix the door.”

“Okay.”

While he went to the closet, I got out of bed and used the bathroom.

My laptop was gone, and the bed was made by the time I walked out again.

The set of clothes he’d selected was comfortably loose and easy enough to pull on left-handed.

Worming my way into a sports bra was a little more difficult and took some time.

The scent of something mouthwatering drew me downstairs to the dining room.

“What is that?” I asked, looking at the pool of whitish-grey gravy on the plate next to my waiting laptop.

“Biscuits and gravy. It wasn’t something the school ever served, so I thought you might?—“

My ass was in the chair before he could finish, and I could feel him watching me messily scooping up a bite with my left hand. Half of it fell back onto the plate before I could get it to my mouth, but what did make it in was divine.

I moaned in appreciation and wiggled in my chair as I chewed. How long had it been since I’d tasted anything like this? I scooped up another bite, losing another portion of it, and shoved it into my mouth.

Bennett held out his hand, interrupting my bliss.

My gaze shifted from his hand to his face. His pupils were fully dilated, and the intensity of his gaze spelled trouble. For me.

“What?” I asked.

“Give me your fork.”

I made a sad face and pulled my fork close to my chest.

“I’m not taking it away, Wrenly. Let me help you.”

Understanding that he wanted to feed me, I shook my head.

“If you want to help me, get me a spoon. Please?”

He hesitated. I could see in his gaze that he was waging a silent war with himself. One side wanted to feed me because he was desperate to be the one to make his mate happy. Yet, I’d asked for something different. By not listening to me, he’d make me unhappy.

Listening to me won. Withdrawing his hand, he stood and went to the kitchen. I continued to use my fork until he handed over a spoon.

By the time my plate was messily scraped clean, I sat back with a full belly and a sense of relief since the ice pack and pain relievers were finally doing their job.

“That was the best breakfast I’ve had in years,” I said.

“Would you like it again tomorrow, or should I find something else you might like?”

I thought about it for a second.

“Surprise me.”

The corner of his mouth lifted with a hint of a smile that made my heart trip over itself.

“Can I surprise you now?”

“What do you mean?” I asked, suspicion filling me.

“Something else I think you’ll like if you’re interested in a short drive before we start on your homework.”

Intrigued, I nodded.

He helped me put on my shoes, tying them for me as I set a hand on his shoulder for balance.

Catching my hand when he was done, he led me out to the car and buckled me in.

He’d done the same thing for me for days already, but something about it felt different.

I couldn’t put my finger on what though.

Just before he shut my door, he kissed my forehead. I touched the spot as he walked around the car, wondering why he was still showing me affection when he’d already agreed to let me go.

…it’s always been you.

I watched him get in and realized letting me go wasn’t him giving up on me. His love for me was for life.

My heart gave another odd beat that hurt more than the last one.

I reached up and rubbed my chest. He noticed the move and glanced at me as he drove down the driveway.

“Are you all right?”

“Yeah. Just feeling a little uncomfortable. Maybe I slept wrong.”

As soon as I said that, I remembered how I’d slept last night, pantyless and using him as a body pillow.