Page 9

CHAPTER 8

G iulia

Standing under a steady stream of cool water, I gradually feel more like myself again. A half hour ago, I woke with a slight headache and a dry mouth to find I was alone in Matteo’s bed. I know he slept there with me because I cuddled up to him in the middle of the night. I needed his closeness.

After what happened between us, I’m feeling a little insecure. Thankfully, Matteo was happy to give me the reassurance I craved, wrapping his arm around me and kissing the top of my head.

Though he wasn’t there when I peeled my reluctant eyes open this morning, he must have been in the room only moments before, because a surprise awaited me on the nightstand. Alongside a pain au chocolat and a cup of steaming hot cappuccino sat a single red rose. The scent of Matteo’s spicy body wash lingered in the air.

A smile touches my lips at his thoughtfulness. I’ve been around mafia men my entire life and know not to expect a lot of consideration. Though they’re not all the same, Matteo does belong to a specific type. He’s possessive, commanding, and unflinchingly violent. But, as breakfast proves, he’s also capable of being incredibly sweet.

I’ve been friends with Matteo for most of my life. We’ve shared a lot over the years. He took me to prom when Ricky Gallardo jilted me at the last minute in favor of Jessica Jensen and her gigantic boobs. He also beat Ricky to a bloody pulp and left him in a dumpster behind the school during prom, but I’m not supposed to know about that act of chivalry.

Matteo was there to comfort me when I broke my wrist after falling from a tree and I was there to stitch up his first knife wound. Thanks to my upbringing with a father who’s always been open about the world we live in, I’m not queasy about these things.

He also broke my heart when he didn’t intervene to stop my marriage to Johnny, and he shattered my confidence when he laughed about me with Marissa Locatelli. A part of me might never forgive him for that.

Now I have to figure out how to handle this new stage of our relationship. Will I be able to come to terms with us as a couple? Are we a couple? Matteo said he wanted to fuck me. Despite the voices screaming caution inside my head, I intend to let him. I guess that makes us a couple. Ugh. I hate that word. It doesn’t sound right for what Matteo and I are.

Trying to untangle how I feel about all this is impossible. I wish I had someone to talk to about this, but there’s no one. I can’t call my stepmother for advice. We’ve never had that sort of relationship and, besides, she wouldn’t be impartial. She’d tell me to lock Matteo down in hopes of furthering my father’s career in the Volante organization.

I don’t want to call Isabella either. We haven’t spoken for about a year and getting in touch just to lean on her for advice seems selfish. Besides, Matteo made it clear I’m not to contact anyone back home.

Confiding in Livvy isn’t a possibility, either. We may have shared a moment of understanding yesterday, but I know better than to trust her with my emotions. She’d use my vulnerability against me in a heartbeat.

Switching off the shower, I step out of the glass-fronted cubicle and grab a fluffy white towel from the metal rack. I wrap it around myself and walk out into the bedroom. Matteo is there, sitting on the bed. He’s wearing a pair of light gray sweatpants and nothing else. With his muscular torso featuring tattoos of skulls, snakes, and daggers, he’s the personification of sin.

“How’s the head?” he asks as a greeting.

“Good. The coffee helped.” Suddenly shy, I look down at his feet. Hmm. He has nice feet. I didn’t realize I had a thing for them before, but his are, well, manly. “It was nice of you to leave breakfast for me.”

Matteo smiles, his expression softer than I’ve ever seen it. “I can be a nice guy.”

“I know.”

My eyes meet his, and we share a moment of connection. Heat rises to my cheeks as desire trickles through my veins, slowly bringing my body to life. A primal need pulses at my core. I want this man more than my next breath. Matteo’s dark gaze tells me he feels it too.

“Drop that towel, come over here, and I’ll show you how nice I can be.”

I don’t hesitate to obey his command. Unwrapping the towel, I drop it to the floor. Despite the urge to cover myself, I keep my arms at my sides as I slowly turn in a circle, letting Matteo get a good look at me. I’ve never been shy around him because what we had before wasn’t sexual. I didn’t care what he thought of my body. He’s seen me in a bikini a dozen times or more. I’ve changed my clothes in front of him, even been naked in his presence when we skinny-dipped on particularly hot summer days. But that was a long time ago.

Now that things have shifted between us, I’m less comfortable with the extra couple of inches at my waist, the ripples of cellulite at the backs of my thighs. I need assurance that Matteo desires me, no matter what minor imperfections I might have.

As I come full circle to face him once more, any anxiety I harbored on that score is banished. Evidence of his arousal is clear in the tenting of his sweatpants, the lustful glint in his eye. Emboldened, I walk slowly toward him, swaying my hips.

“Beautiful,” he murmurs as his hands wrap around my waist.

He pulls me close, leans forward, and presses his lips to my abdomen. Although the gesture is chaste, it feels incredibly intimate. A nerve twitches, making the skin beneath Matteo’s lips ripple. Chuckling, he pulls back. Then he looks up at me and all trace of amusement disappears from his face to be replaced by something far more intense.

“Giulia.” My name on his lips is imbued with so much emotion. He’s as aware as I am that this is not like his usual meaningless flings. We aren’t mere fuck buddies. Whether we like it or not, feelings are already engaged. We’ve loved each other since we were kids. If this ends tomorrow, it will hurt. Yet neither of us seems able to step back from the brink.

Matteo’s fingers trail up my spine and I tremble beneath his touch. He curves his hand around the back of my head and pulls me down to meet him. His lips are soft as they brush across mine. It’s the lightest of touches, but it makes my lips tingle. I open my mouth and he slips his tongue inside. He tastes like coffee. It’s not stale or unpleasant, but warm and comforting. There’s also a hint of spice that reveals he had cinnamon rolls for breakfast.

Pulling back from the kiss, I slowly sink to the floor between his legs. Matteo’s eyes widen, but he doesn’t stop me as I reach for the waistband of his sweatpants. He helps me out by lifting his hips so I can drag the jersey pants down his legs. I pull them off and toss them aside. Then I study him closely. His cock is long, thick, and fully erect. The head is a deep, glossy red and there’s a thick vein running along its underside. It exudes masculine power. In theory, I know what to do, but Matteo’s size makes it a challenge.

“Giulia, you don’t have to.” He must see the trepidation on my face.

“I want to.” I flash a reassuring smile in response to his concerned frown.

Slicking back my wet hair, I raise myself up on my knees. I place one hand flat on the bed to anchor myself. The other, I wrap around his shaft. Fuck! I knew he was big, but somehow he seems larger now. The thought of putting that massive thing in my mouth is scary. What if I can’t handle it?

Tentatively edging forward, I lower my head and take a couple of inches of his rock-hard erection into my mouth. At first I just hold it there, accustoming myself to how it feels. My cheeks puff out as I take a couple of breaths to steady myself. Having my mouth stuffed with his cock is strange, but not unpleasant. Matteo tastes clean and fresh. His scent is citrus, mixed with something indefinable but unmistakably masculine. I guess he showered before I woke.

Pulling back, I swirl my tongue around the bulbous head of his cock, lapping up droplets of fluid. Okay, this is not too bad. I lick along the underside of his erect shaft, following the line of the protruding vein. Matteo murmurs appreciatively. It’s encouraging, but I want more of a reaction. I part my lips, stick my tongue out, and draw as much of his length as I can into my mouth. Matteo lifts his hips, pushing deeper than I intended to go. My eyes water as he hits the back of my throat, and I fight the urge to gag.

As Matteo places his hand at the back of my head, I think he’s going to take control, but he doesn’t. He allows me to slide my mouth back and forth over his impressive manhood at my own pace until I establish a rhythm I’m comfortable with. I suck lightly. When that gets no response, I go harder. Matteo groans ecstatically. That’s more like it.

As I continue to pleasure him with my lips and tongue, I release my grip on the base of his cock and slide my hand down to cup his balls. The hair that covers them is coarse, the skin surprisingly soft beneath my touch. I squeeze just to see how Matteo reacts.

“Fuck, Giulia!” Matteo’s voice is hoarse. “Enough!”

Startled, I pull back and drop onto my heels. Did I do something wrong? Was that completely horrible? Matteo must see the devastation in my eyes, because he shakes his head.

“Fuck, no, sweetheart. You did nothing wrong. That was amazing, but I don’t want to come in your mouth. Not this time.”

Okay, he’s just being considerate. He grabs my hands and helps me to my feet as he rises from the bed. He strokes the side of my face and then kisses my lips with such tenderness I could cry.

“Lie on the bed,” Matteo whispers.

I do as he asks, positioning myself at the center of his enormous wood-framed bed. It’s a struggle not to cross my legs and cover my breasts with my arms. I know Matteo won’t allow me to hide any part of myself from him, and truthfully, I don’t want to. It’s just difficult to expose myself to a man, even him. Especially him.

To conquer my self-consciousness, I focus on Matteo. Every inch of him is magnificent, but it’s a particular tattoo I hone in on. When he’s got pants on, it’s hidden, but just beneath his right hipbone is an image that doesn’t fit with the rest of the mess-with-me-and-die tattoos he has inked on his body.

Matteo’s eyes follow my gaze to the bright red ladybug he got when he lost a bet with me five years ago. He should have known he couldn’t beat me in a game of pool. He’s a decent player, but I never miss a shot.

“I still can’t believe you went through with it.” I smile fondly as I remember how he grumbled about my choice of tattoo.

“Leo still gives me shit about it.”

“I can’t believe how vivid the color still is.” It looks as if the tattoo was done yesterday.

Matteo’s cheeks redden. Is he blushing? I’ve never seen him look shy before. “I got it touched up.”

“What? When?”

“A few months ago.” Climbing onto the bed, he parts my legs farther. He crawls between them and kneels. His expression is soft as he gazes down at me. “When you stopped speaking to me.”

My heart thumps. “Why?”

“I couldn’t imagine life without you. I had to believe we’d be friends again.”

He slides a hand up my inner thigh and strokes my intimate flesh. I’m already wet and so responsive to his touch. My hips lift off the bed.

“Are we friends?” I ask breathlessly.

Matteo slides two fingers inside me and curls them to caress a sensitive spot. I gasp as pressure builds at my core. Matteo pulls his hand away. Ignoring my protest, he moves forward until he’s lying on top of me, his weight supported on his elbows. He puts an arm under my shoulders and holds me close as he slides his cock into my body one inch at a time. It pinches a little, just like the first time, but I adjust quicker to the stretch.

“You’re my friend.” Matteo pulls back and then pushes into me once more. “My lover.” Another slow, careful thrust. “My soulmate.” He kisses my cheek, my forehead, my lips. “Mine.”

His declaration almost makes me come on the spot. It’s not the words as much as the emphatic way he utters them that ignites something inside me. He’s laying claim to me, not by force, but by appealing to my emotions. My heart swells. It’s almost too much to bear.

Releasing me from his tight embrace, Matteo props himself up on the palms of his hands and presses his hips against me. He lowers his head, and I eagerly part my lips for his kiss. His tongue sweeps in to dance with mine in a slow, seductive rhythm. By the time he pulls back, I’m breathless.

I reach up to grab his shoulders as he trails kisses down my neck. He wraps his lips around my nipple and sucks until I’m shaking with need.

“Matteo!” It’s a plea for more.

He tugs my nipple with his teeth. It hurts, but in the best possible way. Then he lets go. Staring down at me, he takes my pussy with firm, deliberate strokes. The intensity overwhelms me. I close my eyes.

“No, Giulia, look at me. I want to see you when you come apart.”

He comes back down onto his elbows, bringing our bodies closer once more. He strokes my hair, kisses my throat. His hand meanders down my side, making me giggle as he touches the ticklish spot at my waist. He grins, then slips his hand down to find my clit. With his finger, he circles the swollen bud, applying a gentle but insistent pressure that drives me to the brink. I whimper as my pussy clenches around his cock. My body shudders as pleasure sweeps over me. Tears fill my eyes as sensation swamps me.

“Giulia!”

Matteo follows me to completion, his seed bathing me with warmth.

As he carefully pulls out, a sob escapes me. Before I know it, tears are pouring in earnest. Matteo rolls onto his side. Gathering me into his arms, he strokes my hair.

“Why are you crying, sweetheart?” he asks. “Did I hurt you?”

I shake my head. “No.” I sniff back my tears. “It was perfect.”

“That’s how your first time should have been.”

Knowing he did all he could to make amends for the rough way he took my virginity sets off my tears once more. Matteo holds me close and lets me purge my emotions.

“I’ve never made a woman cry before,” he says as he wipes the tears from my face with his thumb.

I roll onto my side and raise an eyebrow. “We both know that’s not true.”

Matteo shrugs. “After I’ve kicked her out of bed, sure, but not when I’m taking her to heaven.”

He flashes me a cocky grin. Slapping his chest, I throw back my head and laugh. “You’re an asshole.”

“Yeah, but you’re stuck with me now.”

That thought both excites and worries me. I sink my teeth into my bottom lip. Matteo notices, of course, and sits up.

“What’s the matter?”

“It’s just…” How do I put this without him getting all defensive? I’ve seen Matteo in action with other women. He’s a possessive asshole until he decides he wants to end a relationship. “Me and you. It’s a lot to take in. Can we…”

“Take it slow?” Matteo fills in. He smiles gently as I nod. “Of course, sweetheart.”

Relieved we’re on the same page about that, I scramble to the edge of the bed and lower my feet to the floor. “I’m going to grab a shower.” I run my fingers through my still damp hair. “Another shower.”

“There’s no rush.” Matteo pats the mattress next to him. “Stay here with me.”

I shake my head as I get up, trying not to wince at the dull ache between my legs that somehow feels worse than it did yesterday when Matteo took my virginity. “No, I need to get up. I want to make some birthday brownies.”

Matteo frowns. “It’s not my birthday.”

“I know, you self-centered idiot. It’s Rosalia’s birthday.”

“You don’t even know the girl.”

“That doesn’t mean I can’t do something nice for her.”

A flicker of amusement passes over Matteo’s face. I ball up my fists and rest them on my hips. “What?”

“Well, nobody would ever describe your cooking as nice.”

“It’s not cooking,” I retort. “It’s baking, and I learned the recipe from my grandma.”

Matteo grimaces. “I’ve eaten your grandmother’s brownies. She can’t bake for shit.”

Outraged by that shocking yet totally accurate insult to my grandmother, I pick up the hairbrush from the dressing table and hurl it at Matteo. He catches it effortlessly.

“Asshole!” I grumble.

Before he can respond, I walk into the bathroom and close the door behind me. Matteo’s probably itching to spank the sass out of me, but nothing is going to get between me and cleaning the sticky mess off my thighs. If he wants to punish me, he can do it later. In fact, I’ll look forward to it.