Page 26 of His Temptation

“Die, motherfuckers!” Ryan speedily tapped the trigger on the Xboxcontroller, shooting the swarm of aliens that had run out at us from a run-down building on post-apocalyptic Earth.

Ryan had invited me over that afternoon to play a new game he’d bought, and the whole time I’d been on my way over, I had dreaded being around him, as if he’d be able to see the truth just by looking at me. Guilt lay beneath the anxiety. Keeping the truth from Ryan wasn’t any better than lying to him.

“Have you talked to your dad lately?” The question slipped out before I could stop it.

“Why would I talk to him?” Ryan kept his eyes on the game, but his mood had shifted from playful to serious.

“I don’t know.”

“He’s workin’ on some big case right now,” Ryan said. “Even if I wanted to talk to him, I bet he wouldn’t have the time. Work always comes first in his book.”

“Is that why you don’t get along with him?”

Emery had told me the real reason Ryan held an attitude toward him, but I wanted Ryan to say it.

“What’s with the twenty questions, Cas? We’ve had this stupid conversation before.”

“Sorry.”

He went back to playing the game, cursing at aliens.

My phone lit up beside me on the floor, and my heart jumped into my throat. It was only a text reminding me I had a dental cleaning tomorrow. My heart settled back in place. I was dumb for thinking it might’ve been Emery aka Liam.

It’d been two days since Emery and I almost fucked in the hotel room. I’d thought of messaging him a million times on the app, but I’d chickened out, not sure what to say. Other guys had messaged me, and I’d debated on hooking up with one of them like I’d originally intended. But an idea had struck—a stupid fucking idea but one I couldn’t get out of my head.

I wanted to lose my virginity to Emery. No one else even came close to him.

“Dude, you listening?”

“Huh?”

Ryan hit me over the head with a Twizzler. “I asked if you had to work today ’cause I want you to meet Lexi.”

“Ihavemet her. At the party.”

“Okay, the night I fucked her while slobbering drunk and having her get mad at me isn’t exactly the night I’d like to remember.”

“She got mad?” I asked, grinning.

Ryan blushed. “Let’s just say I didn’t stay in port long enough for all members to get off.”

I choked out a laugh, earning me another hit over the head with the candy. “She agreed to see you again. So it must not have beenthatbad.”

“I’ve made up for it since then,” Ryan said with a sly smile.

I envied him in that moment. He could talk about who he liked with such freedom and didn’t have to think twice about it. Even if Emery wasn’t his dad, I’d still hesitate in talking to Ryan about him. It sucked because I needed to talk about it. Keeping it all inside my head with no outlet was a struggle.

Fear of rejection held me back.

An hour later, we left his house to meet Lexi. She had just finished her shift in the food court at the mall—she worked at the smoothie place. Seeing Ryan, she beamed with a huge smile and ran toward him. God, it was like a scene out of a movie. She fell into his arms, and he kissed her lightly on the lips.

“Lex, this is Cas,” Ryan said, nodding toward me, his arms around her tiny waist.

“Hey,” Lexi said. Her dark brown ponytail bobbed as she stepped out of Ryan’s arms and pulled a phone from her purse. She held it up and took a selfie of them cheek to cheek before saying, “Have to post that my man surprised me after work.”

“I like you calling me your man.” Ryan looked like a lovesick fool. Or a lust-driven one.

As they took another selfie—this one with them kissing—I looked around the food court. I hadn’t been at the mall in a while, buying most of what I needed at Academy because of the employee discount and going to Walmart for anything else. The mall hadn’t changed much. Same overpriced stores and large crowds of people.