Page 102 of His Temptation

I had turned to drinking then too, and there’d been many nights where I’d called Jay and begged him to come over. To help me forget about the shame and guilt and every other bullshit emotion I felt while trying to accept myself.

“I won’t,” I vowed.

“Good. Have faith things will work out.”

“Seems hopeless right now,” I mumbled.

“Baby steps,” Jay said. “That’s all you can do.”

I didn’t remember falling asleep, but I woke up around 4:00 a.m. in my bed. I was wearing my sleep pants, and a glass of water was set on the bedside table. Had Jay put me to bed? With my head pounding, I left my bedroom and grabbed some Tylenol from the kitchen.

Sound came from the living room, and I padded down the hall, squinting against the bright light of the TV.

Jay was asleep on the couch, still wearing his clothes from the night before, minus his shoes. Blond hair swooped across his brow, and his expression was peaceful.

When we used to regularly sleep together, I used to like watching him sleep. It was like he was a totally different person. Not as cocky, more innocent. He also had a tendency to speak Russian in his sleep.

I grabbed a blanket from the hall closet and draped it over him before going back to bed.

Jay had been right. Drinking wouldn’t solve my problems. It hadn’t in the past, and it sure as hell wouldn’t this time either.

I’ll fix it.

I’d mend the broken relationship with Ryan and hopefully do the same with Cason. Hope. It was an evil beast, but I had no other choice. It was either stay positive and stay afloat or give in to defeat and sink back to the depths.

I had almost drowned before.

And I had no intention of going back to that dark place.

Chapter 23

Cason

“Zack is hot,” I said, sitting on a beanbag in Faith’s bedroom watching theAngels of Deathanime she’d told me about. “For a psychotic killer anyway.”

She laughed and gently slapped my head. “Hey, I saw him first. He’s mine. Find your own adorable psycho to love.”

“Fine.”

“Peace offering?” She handed over the bag of Doritos.

I snatched the bag and ate a chip. “Peace is accepted.”

After the fallout with Ryan and the breakup with Emery, Faith and I had started spending a lot more time together. She’d been worried about me falling into a massive depression, which she hadn’t been wrong. Knowing my shitty home situation, she had invited me over to her house and we’d watched anime and movies and sometimes played computer games. It had helped, but my heart still fucking hurt like a bitch.

It had only taken minutes for everything to fall apart with Emery. Each time I thought of him, a deep ache pierced my chest.

I once heard someone say it was possible to die from a broken heart, and as I sat there remembering the feel of Emery’s lips on my temple as he kissed me good night—remembering his raspy laugh and the gentleness in his blue eyes as he said he loved me—I put a hand over my heart. It felt like it was being ripped out.

“Have you heard from Ryan at all?” Faith asked a few minutes later.

“No.” The ache worsened, and I rubbed at the spot, finding no relief. “I’ve texted him and he hasn’t responded. I really fucked up.”

“You can’t help who you fall in love with,” Faith said, frowning. “Yeah, I’m sure it’s weird for him that you fell for his dad, but shit happens. It’s not like it was unethical or immoral. He needs to stop acting like a little bitch and get over it.”

I choked on a chip. “Damn, Faith. You’re savage.”

“Well, I don’t like seeing you upset.” She rested her cheek on her hand, a deep line marring her brow as she glowered. “I don’t know Ryan that well, but he seems like a selfish prick.”