Page 11 of His Little Hessonite (Eleadian Mates #10)
Chapter Eleven
Kalbrac
I’m pacing the sterile hallway on the mothership, nearly pulling my hair out of my head. It’s been six hours since I last spoke to Clara. The doctor thought it was best to keep her sedated and asleep to avoid agitation. I know he was right, but the fact that she’s been sedated didn’t keep her from developing complications.
About two hours ago, she started bleeding. Dankin assures me it was a known possible complication from the surgery. He’s working on her again now. Her blood must have been too thin. Something dislodged in the back of her nose, and blood started running out. He’s gone back in to stop the bleeding.
This is the most panicked I’ve ever felt in my life. Clara is my life. She’s my everything. If anything happens to her… It can’t. I wouldn’t be able to handle her loss. She has to be okay.
I thread both hands in my hair and tug yet again as I lean against the sterile wall and glance around. There’s no color here. It’s all silver and clean and boring. Why did I never notice this before? Why do I care?
Clara is light and color and sunshine. Yes, she’s going to challenge me. She’s going to argue and fight me every step of the way. And I can’t wait. I will never back down. She will never get her way on anything related to health or safety.
I’m realizing I will instate other rules just to assert my authority because she reacts so strongly to my dominance. She needs it. She didn’t know she needed deep submission in her life, but she’s learning.
I refuse to allow myself to imagine a world without her in it. Fate would not do that to me. She will survive this little hiccup. Dankin will fix her. I will focus on our future.
I close my eyes and picture us seven months from now in our home. She’s fully recovered both from the surgery and the effects of stasis. She’s mobile and toddling around, challenging me every step of the way.
I think about the unnecessary hard rules I will put into place. I’m going to be firm about letting her thighs touch. I will strap her legs wide when I change her and add cuffs to the basin in the kitchen so she can’t pull her knees together when I bathe her. I will do this because I love the way it frustrates her. She’s far less mad at me about the edict than she is at her own body for reacting so violently to my demands.
I like the way her scent fills the room, and I’ll do whatever it takes to keep her pheromones surrounding me at all times.
I smile as I come up with another rule I plan to instate. I won’t let my horny Little girl have any privacy. She will be with me at all times for the foreseeable future. I will tether her to me or a spot in the room so she can’t wander out of my sight.
In a way, that rule is a safety issue. She will be far less likely to get injured if I keep her close and tethered. She will hate and love the idea at the same time. I can picture her arguing with me about how unnecessary it will be to force her to stay so close, but she will crave that constant nearness at the same time.
The door to the exam room opens, and I jerk my gaze up to see Dankin exiting. He’s smiling. That’s a good sign. He sets a hand on my arm. “The surgery went well.”
“You said that the first time.”
“I know, but we always knew bleeding could be a complication. I’ve stopped the bleeding. She’s resting peacefully. I think it will be best if we leave her asleep for twenty-four hours. Give her time to heal. I can already tell she’s healing faster than she would have on Earth. Your essence is inside her, helping speed her recovery. She was doing great until that clot dislodged and led to the excessive bleeding.”
I nod. “Do you think it will happen again?”
“No. I cauterized all the blood vessels in that area. It won’t happen again.”
“When do you think it will be safe to begin our journey?” I’m anxious to get her home, but I also won’t risk her health. I want to be sure she’s fully healed before I put her into a six-month stasis.
“Probably two days. I’ll monitor her closely. Tomorrow we’ll let her wake up. She’ll be able to sit up and resume normal activities by then, but I want her to have an entire day without any signs of complications before I release her for transportation.”
I nod and take a deep breath. “I can’t believe how stressed I feel.”
Dankin smiles. “It’s normal. Every single Papi feels just like you when they meet their mate. I can’t speak from experience, of course, but I’ve seen many men come through here with their Little girls, and all of them were panicking just like you feel. The bond is deeper than any of us can imagine. No matter how much we read and study or what prior men tell us about the mating pull, we can’t grasp it until it happens to us.”
I wring my fingers together in front of me. “I want to hold her in my arms and never set her down so I’m constantly reassured she’s alive and healthy.”
“Understandable. You can hold her tomorrow.”
Tomorrow seems like a decade from now. Plus, I will have to relinquish her for six long months when we enter the transport vessel. She will remain in a deep state of stasis the entire time. It will drive me mad waiting to see her eyes and hear her voice again, but at least I will be able to keep a constant eye on her. I’ll be able to listen to her breathing and watch her chest rise and fall.
“Can I see her?”
“Yes, of course. You’ll need to sedate her every few hours to keep her asleep. As soon as she shows any signs of movement, prick her again.”
I nod in agreement.
“It’s okay to hold her hand or even talk to her. Your voice and touch will help keep her calm even though she won’t be consciously aware of you.” Dankin points to the room next to the exam room. “I moved her into the recovery room. You can pass through the connecting door. She’s in a bed with railings on both sides.”
“Okay.” I turn and enter the room, shutting the door behind me before I pass through to the recovery room.
My girl is asleep, but I find myself relaxing at the sight of her. I pull a chair up close and lower both the railing and the height of the bed so I can lean against the edge and hold her hand in mine.
A soft blanket is draped over my girl, but I pull it down to expose her breasts. It’s plenty warm enough in here for her. She won’t get cold. I like seeing her soft globes and rosy nipples. I will rarely let her cover them when we get home.
Little girls do not wear shirts or dresses or anything else on Eleadia. It’s our custom. Most Papis do let them have covers in bed, but I won’t let Clara block her breasts from my view. I like the way the exposure heightens her arousal even in rest.
I won’t touch my Little girl’s chest while she’s sedated, but I will enjoy seeing her pert breasts. As I watch, her pretty nipples harden from the air in the room. It’s not sexual right now. It’s simply a physical reaction. But it’s still sexy.
I carefully pick up her closest hand in mine and kiss her fingers before rubbing her knuckles against my cheek. I keep her tiny hand in mine as I lower it to the bed.
There is no way I will be able to part from her. How do other Papis leave their Little girls alone in their cribs in their nurseries and walk away? I don’t think I can do that. I’m already plotting a new plan. I can’t have her in another room. Maybe someday in the future, I will be able to loosen the reins, but not at first.
I’ll move her crib to my room and put a pallet in the living room. She’ll sleep a lot for the first two weeks, but she will do so where I can see her at all times. I will want to check on her often and make sure she’s breathing.
I’m going to be far more overprotective than the average Papi. I can already tell. But I won’t apologize for my diligence. It’s who I am. It won’t hurt her to sleep close to me. Eventually I will put her in my bed at night so I can monitor and check on her easier. I’ll get a barrier for the other side of our bed so she can’t roll over and fall. The bed is high enough off the floor that she could really get injured if she fell. In fact, I think I’ll put up a railing on that side and leave it there forever. I wonder if anyone else has designed something like that.
I haven’t slept. I know I’m exhausted. I also know staring at my girl won’t change anything, so I release her hand and settle mine against her chest as I lie my head on the mattress next to her.
I’m calmed by the fact that I can feel her chest rising and falling. I can sense everything about her. Our hearts beat in unison as I force myself to relax next to her. The warmth of her skin and feel of her breath hitting my hand is soothing.
Finally I let sleep pull me under.