Page 21 of His Graceful Duchess (A Lady’s Vow #3)

CHAPTER 21

M ama.

The sound of the giggle that filled the room was the most beautiful thing that Isadora had ever heard. She held in her arm a bundle of dark curls and chubby limbs. A piece of her own self.

A child of her own.

Her breath hitched as the sound of laughter entered her ears again, but this time, it was much deeper. Evan stood behind her, holding her from the waist.

A mirror placed in front of them reflected back the image of happiness. Evan, Isadora, and a child cradled in her arms. A family.

Isadora woke up at the crack of dawn, instinctively clutching at her belly.

“It was only a dream,” she said to herself, patting the empty side of her bed, but never once in her life had she dreamt of motherhood like this.

Isadora shot up in her bed, all traces of sleep vanishing as her mind began to race. Was that a sign? It must be.

For the ache she felt was something new. She let out a slow breath, pressing her palm flat against the mattress. She had never thought of herself as the kind of woman to yearn for such things.

But now that the idea had rooted itself in her mind—now that she had glimpsed what could be?—

She realized she had never wanted anything more.

A soft smile crept onto her lips, one she did not even try to suppress.

The idea of a child—their child—was no longer something distant or something she might previously have expected herself to scoff at.

“He admitted to you that he feels for you,” she told herself, feeling the same happiness that she did the night before. Their connection had grown, and now, it was to take a different direction all together.

They would start a family together. It was a wild thought and the onset of it had been quite sudden, but Isadora was convinced that she wanted nothing more.

“Good morning, Evan,” Isadora said lovingly to her husband, who joined her for breakfast. She had not been able to keep the smile off her face even for a second since she had woken up.

“Isadora,” he acknowledged her as he took a seat from across her. “How do you feel now?”

Her smile stretched even wider. “Oh, I have never felt any better.”

“Did you have a good rest?” Evan asked, nodding to signal his approval. “I remained worried for you last night after you had gone to sleep.”

“If anything, you should have been the opposite of worried,” she nodded. “I am grateful for forgetting to eat as it led to a moment so beautiful between the two of us. Heaven knows how long it would have taken for the both of us to confess our feelings without it.”

Evan regarded her for a moment. “That is certainly one way of putting it.”

“Don’t you agree?” Isadora got up from her seat and took one that was right beside him. She wanted to be closer to him. “Does it not feel different this morning between us?”

Evan stared down at the table and then reached over to grab her hands softly. “I suppose you’re right.”

“See?” Isadora said, excitedly. “We are even agreeing with one another. How often does that happen?”

Evan hummed in agreement. “Remarkable, truly. But we’re beyond that point now, I believe.”

Isadora knitted her eyebrows together in confusion. “Beyond that point? What are you trying to suggest by that?”

“Nothing bad,” Evan smiled. “I would advise you to not worry unnecessarily again. I am only saying that it is remarkable what you’ve managed to achieve. Not only did you make me concede to my feelings, but you managed to make me accept them, too. That I have not run away this morning is remarkable.”

“ Oh. ” Isadora considered his words, and then her face lit up with a smile. “I have to say that it is quite new for me as well. This… feeling.”

Love. She did not say that out loud yet but considered it as an unspoken truth between the two of them.

Evan gazed into her eyes, his expression softening. “Maybe we need to bask in it a moment longer.”

Isadora shook her head. The time for basking was long past. What she wanted now was more.

She straightened her back in order to instill the confidence within her that she needed.

“I was thinking…” she started, fidgeting slightly with the edge of her napkin.

“You know I am always interested in knowing what you think,” Evan replied, “for better or for worse.”

“Yes well…” She continued to fidget with the napkin. “I was thinking that it might be a good idea—well, perhaps you could visit my chambers tonight.”

“Visit?” Evan seemed to perk up immediately. “Is that something you want me to do?”

“It’s been some time since our wedding,” Isadora nodded. “I believe that this is the next step forward.”

Something darkened in her husband’s expression, and he nodded. “Very well, then. You shall have a visit from me in your chambers tonight.”

At that, Isadora found herself growing so excited that she clapped her hands together, the nervousness from earlier dissipating.

“It took us a while to reach this milestone,” she noted, smiling, “but I am glad that we are here. Now, we can look to expand our little family.”

Evan froze at the words, his expression shifting into one of dread.

“Isadora,” he said calmly, but she could see the panic in his eyes, “what are you trying to imply here?”

“Well, I thought it was rather obvious,” she explained, feeling the nervousness return. Had she misread the signs? “When I say that we have reached the next milestone, it means that we are both ready now to start a family. In fact, I dreamt about this last night—of giving you an heir and making our?—”

“Enough,” Evan stopped her halfway, startling her. “I am not sure what has given you that idea, but I have not suggested such a thing to you even once.”

Isadora blinked, utterly confused now. “Evan, you are my husband. I understand that we began our journey in rather cold and practical terms, but now, that has changed. It would only add to our relationship if we bring a child into the world.”

“I told you that I have no interest in an heir, Isadora.” Evan sounded beatdown suddenly. “I told you this on the first day. Both of us can be perfectly happy without children.”

Isadora felt a knife twist inside of her. Her hands shook as she set down the fork in her hands.

“Besides, I believed that we were on the same footing about this,” he continued, a hint of desperation now lacing his voice. “You did not have an issue with this before.”

“Yes, but I want a child now,” she replied. “I have never wanted something more for myself than this. In fact, I have always placed my own needs behind me, but this… I…”

Isadora’s mind was spinning. Perhaps she was getting ahead of herself, but her dream had been so vivid. It was a sign that this was the thing that she truly desired, the only step forward for both of then.

“Isadora…” Evan tried to calm the situation, but she would have none of it.

“You wish to remain without children?” she asked bluntly.

“I thought that I had been clear about this,” he sighed loudly. “You know this. I have never kept that a secret.”

“Yes, but things between us have changed, ” she tried to argue.

“Isadora, this remains the same.” There was an air of finality in his words. “I have no interest in having an heir. We should not fret about such notions and waste our time. We have each other.”

Even though Evan said the words gently, it felt like a stabbing sensation to her heart. He had just rejected her in a way that no husband ought to.

“I…” She suddenly found herself short of words. What was there to say when he remained so adamant?

“It does not make me happy to disappoint you like this,” he frowned. “But in time, you will begin to see that this is the only way possible for us.”

“And that is a decision you have made entirely on your own?” Her voice shook as she spoke.

Do not cry, Isadora, she said to herself, but at the moment, it was appearing difficult not to.

“It is a decision that you knew when we married,” he reminded her, as though the last few weeks between them meant nothing.

Abruptly, Isadora pushed away the cutlery in front of her and stood up. Her cheeks were heating up, and she did not know what to make of anything that her husband was saying.

“I have lost my appetite,” she announced. “I shall take my leave now, as you have given me quite a lot to think about.”

“Isadora.” Evan stood up behind her, grabbing her gently by the wrist. “You do not need to be like this. Expectations of a child—that is only something that society has put upon you. There are ways to be happy without a family.”

Her eyes began to pool with tears.

“For a man who champions practicality, I am stunned that you do not see the value in bringing a child to this world,” she argued, tears stinging her eyes. “So perhaps it is only me with whom you do not wish to have a child.”

“You are twisting what I said.” Evan ran a frustrated hand through his hair as she freed her wrist from his grasp. “And frankly, you are the one here who is not thinking straight.”

“So, your decision is final?” she said again. “You do not wish to have children of your own?”

Children with me .

“I am sorry, Isadora,” Evan looked away from her then, “but this is something about which I am not willing to compromise.”

Isadora practically heard the sound of her own heart breaking.

“Oh.”

What else was there left to say?

“Please, excuse me.” She turned away from him. “I should prefer not to be disturbed for the remainder of the day. I wish you well with your work.”

With that, she raced out of the room, for she felt as though she would collapse if she were to remain there a moment longer.

Her husband—the man whom she loved dearly with all her heart—had rejected her for the one thing that she wanted the most.

When Isadora returned to her room, she shut the door loudly behind her and closed the curtains. She wished to be alone, to sink into the bed and let the darkness of the room consume her whole.

What had started for her as a beautiful dream this morning had so quickly turned into a nightmare.