Page 19 of His Graceful Duchess (A Lady’s Vow #3)

CHAPTER 19

“ B ravo. That was quite the spectacle you put on last night,” Nicholas remarked. He had met him this morning to ride together.

Of course. Evan should have known that the comment was coming.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he scowled, tugging at the reins of his horse a little too tightly.

“Oh, come now, don’t make me say it. I don’t wish to embarrass you further,” Nicholas grinned.

“There is nothing to be embarrassed about,” Evan said, his gaze fixed ahead.

Nicholas hummed, unconvinced. “Then I suppose you routinely spend your evenings ensuring your wife does not stray too far from your side? Staking your claim in front of a room full of people? I must say, it was quite a performance.”

“I did not know that we met only to discuss my personal life.” Evan hoped that would make him drop the topic, but it only had the opposite effect.

“Well, you can hardly blame me. You were growling at Lord Bellington for daring to hold a conversation with your wife,” Nicholas grinned. “I have never seen you behave like that in all of the years that I have known you.”

Evan rolled his shoulders, trying to shake off the remnants of tension from the previous night.

Evan shot Nicholas a look. “I merely ensured that my wife was not forced into unnecessary conversation with some insipid fool.”

“That insipid fool was simply offering her a compliment,” Nicholas said. “Which she accepted—quite graciously, I might add.”

Evan’s grip on the reins tightened, and jealousy burnt inside of him again. Nicholas was right. He had never reacted like this before about anything.

“He was looking at her,” Evan said simply as though it was enough to warrant his reaction. “I should have bashed his head in for that alone.”

Nicholas let out a low whistle.

“Easy there. You can be quite frightening sometimes without realizing it,” Nicholas remarked. “Besides, I do not think that the poor bloke meant any harm. He would be a fool to try something with the Duke’s wife.”

“He was looking at her as if—” He stopped himself, shaking his head. Just the thought alone was enough to make him angry all over again.

“As if what?” Nicholas asked, but Evan did not immediately reply. He was too busy fantasizing about all the ways he would make that stupid man pay for even talking to his wife.

“As if she were desirable?” Nicholas guessed. “As if she were a woman who inspires admiration? Attraction, even?”

“What are you trying to prove here?” Evan clenched his jaw.

“I am just trying to understand something here,” Nicholas continued. “Tell me this—is it only when other men admire your wife that you remember she is yours?”

“I do not need reminding.” Evan pulled at the reins, forcing his horse into a steady pace.

“Really?” Nicholas laughed. “Could have fooled me.”

“I let my control slip last night,” Evan admitted finally. “But Lord Bellington had it coming.”

“At least you are admitting to something,” Nicholas noted. “That is more than you’ve conceded to since you got married.”

“There is nothing else to concede to,” Evan corrected him swiftly. “And I thought I suggested that you do not read into it so closely.”

“So, your strategy is to ignore how you feel entirely?” Nicholas probed. “Not the wisest decision, I’d say. Because clearly, this—whatever it is you’re pretending not to feel—is already getting the better of you.”

Did his friend have a point? Evan refused to acknowledge it.

“I will be more careful,” he said instead. “I have let my guard slip. That will not happen again.”

“Don’t you think it’s a tad too late to be careful now?” Nicholas let out a short laugh. “For someone as smart as you are, I am surprised that this is your great strategy. To pretend you don’t care.”

“I do not have to pretend,” Evan said, gritting his teeth.

Nicholas scoffed. “Then why did you spend half the evening ensuring she did not so much as look at another man?”

“That was not about me. It was about propriety.”

Nicholas rolled his eyes. “Ah, yes. Propriety. That explains everything.”

Evan said nothing.

Nicholas smirked. “Do you even hear yourself?”

“I am protecting myself,” Evan finally let himself be honest. “The least you could be is understanding.”

“But have you asked yourself what it is that you’re protecting for yourself to begin with?” Nicholas slowed down his pace, and his voice softened as well.

Evan thought about it for a moment. There was no doubt about the fact that Isadora had grown to become an important person in his life, but it was in both of their best interests if he did not let it grow from there. “From a mistake I have no intention of making,” he admitted finally.

“Do you really wish to call her a mistake, Evan?” Nicholas asked. “I think that would be a bit of an unfair assessment.”

“ She is not a mistake,” Evan corrected sternly but kept his gaze ahead. “You know precisely what I mean.”

In fact, he was one of the few people who did.

Nicholas exhaled. “You have been running from the past for a long time, but you are a married man now. Do you not think it’s time to let it go?”

“You make it sound so amazingly simple,” Evan chuckled mirthlessly.

“I think you have convinced yourself of a great many things,” Nicholas said. “But your wife is not your past. And she is not the one who deserves to suffer for it.”

Evan exhaled slowly as Nicholas watched him carefully. “Do you think she wants more?”

Evan stiffened, saying nothing.

“She is a young woman,” Nicholas continued. “She will want a family one day. And it would be a fair demand.”

Evan’s jaw locked. There it was. The one thing he had known since the beginning—the one line he would never cross. He was safe as long as she did not ask for more. As long as she did not want a family.

Evan forced himself to breathe, forcing down the old anger, the bitter memories that always clawed their way to the surface whenever he thought about the matter. He would not repeat the mistakes of the past. The decision had been made a long time ago.

“I am sorry to be the one who brings this up,” Nicholas sighed. “But you and I both know that you cannot avoid it forever.”

“I do not have to,” Evan said simply. “She knew the terms of this marriage when she agreed to it.”

“Perhaps. But did you ever consider that she may change her mind? Did you simply assume she would never ask for more?”

“What is the point of asking me all of this?” Evan tried to turn the attention back at his friend, but Nicholas was relentless. Ambrose might have dropped the subject by now, but Nicholas was determined to get an answer out of his friend.

“If I don’t ask you, who will?” Nicholas sighed. “Someone needs to talk some sense into you. You cannot outrun it forever, Evan.”

“I do not have to outrun anything. I only have to ensure I do not repeat it,” Evan insisted.

“Repeat the past?” Nicholas asked. “Because?—”

“My father’s mistakes,” Evan cut him off.

For a moment, Nicholas was silent. It was unsual for Evan to ever speak about his father. Both men had a strained relationship with their fathers, and it was something that they had bonded over years ago. If anyone would understand, it would be Nicholas.

“You are not your father,” Nicholas said finally.

“I have heard that before,” Evan replied.

“Then perhaps you should start believing it,” Nicholas said.“You cannot live your life making decisions out of fear,” Nicholas exhaled slowly. “You remind me of myself?—”

“It is not fear—it is logic,” Evan cut him off, wanting nothing more than to end this conversation. He preferred it when he only spoke to his friends about business.

“It is fear. You think if you take a step too far, if you allow yourself to want more, you’ll become him.” Nicholas shook his head.

“That is not what this is about.” Evan’s jaw locked. “And you’d be better off dropping the subject now.”

“Isn’t it?” Nicholas gave him a flat look.

Evan remained silent, his gaze fixed ahead.

“You are not your father, Evan. No matter how much you convince yourself otherwise,” Nicholas said.

“You say that as if it is a certainty,” Evan replied. “But you do not know. His blood runs through me whether I like it or not.”

“It is a certainty. Because you are already doing everything he never did. You respect your wife. You care about her. And do not argue with me on that because if you did not, we would not be having this conversation,” Nicholas said.

“Caring about someone does not mean one should be reckless.”

“No. But it does mean you do not punish them for things that are not their fault.” Nicholas shook his head. “If you truly believe Isadora will be content with this arrangement forever, then you are a fool.”

“I never said she would,” Evan exhaled slowly, his jaw still clenched. He just wished that day did not arrive. Ever.

“Then what do you intend to do when she does ask for more?” Nicholas frowned. “Have you thought up a plan for that?”

“She will not,” Evan said firmly. But at this point, he was trying to convince himself more than anyone else.

“Oh? And how, pray tell, do you know that?” Nicholas let out a dry laugh.

“Because I will not give her the chance to.” Evan’s voice was decisive. “She is busy enough with her life at the estate that she does not need to bother herself with such notions. Besides, our arrangement is practical at best.”

“So, you would rather keep her in this… practical arrangement, as you say?” Nicholas narrowed his eyes. “Which is really just another way to say that you wish to keep her at a distance.”

“It is better that way.” Evan looked back at the road, ignoring the worried glances Nicholas sent his way.

“You are a damned idiot,” Nicholas muttered finally, shaking his head. “This is beyond reason, Evan.”

“It is necessary,” Evan corrected, his tone colder now. “And frankly, let me be the judge of what is reasonable and what is not.”

“Necessary for whom?” Nicholas lifted a brow though he ought to know by now that he could not convince his friend of anything that he did not want already.

“For both of us. She does not deserve to be shackled to a man who will never give her what she wants,” Evan said, unwavering. “So, we keep a partnership between us, but one whose terms are clear.”

“And what if what she wants is you? ” Nicholas studied him carefully. “Would that void your little contract?”

“That is not an option.” Evan straightened his posture. He did not want to consider it as an option.

“You know, Evan, you may think you are protecting her, but if you keep this up, you may be the one who ends up losing.” Nicholas exhaled, shaking his head.

Evan said nothing, his jaw locked in place.

“Nothing I can say will make you change your mind?” Nicholas’ voice was quieter now.

“Correct,” Evan said, clipped. The Duke was as stubborn as he was practical.

“Then I pity you,” Nicholas sighed, rubbing a hand down his face.

“I do not require your pity,” Evan said, impassive. “Only that you keep me company while riding—which you can do in silence as well.”

“You will when you realize you were wrong,” Nicholas muttered, shaking his head.

Evan ignored him. Because he wouldn’t be wrong. He had always been a calculated man—and losing was something he could not afford.

“Is the Duke still going to come home late today?” Isadora asked the butler, who could do little else but smile apologetically.

“I am not sure, Your Grace,” he said. “His Grace did not inform me about his schedule when he left his morning.”

You are not the only one he forgot to inform, Isadora thought to herself, but she did not reveal her thoughts out loud. “Well, no problem. Can you let me know when he gets here?”

“Of course, Your Grace,” the butler nodded, dutifully.

Ever since they had attended the dinner together, Evan had been behaving strangely distantly with Isadora. She had scarcely seen him as he had been working for most of the day—for several days in a row now.

He would return late into the night and miss mealtimes.

Isadora hated to admit it, but she missed him—arguing with him or whatever it was that they did together.

But she had taken his absence as an opportunity, and used it to bring her vision for the manor to life. She had spent the past several days buried in fabric swatches, sketches, and consultations with the staff, overseeing every detail of the changes she wanted to bring to their home.

“You have really put all your efforts into this, Your Grace,” Mrs. Wilson commented later in the day. She was in the parlor, making the last-minute adjustments.

“You think so?” Isadora asked, biting down on her lip. She did not have any prior experience with undertaking changes in an estate this size, but she had a strong imagination—which was enough, she felt. “I really wanted to open up the space so that more light enters. Do you see what I have done with the windows?”

Mrs. Wilson nodded eagerly. The two women had grown close over the last few weeks—and Isadora felt that her days were incomplete when she did not get to speak to Mrs. Wilson, even if it was over something trivial.

“I have, Your Grace,” Mrs. Wilson noted approvingly. “And you have re-done the walls as well. I quite like the palette you have chosen.”

“Do you?” Isadora asked again. She was not sure why she felt so self-conscious, only that she did. “Is the color too light? I was worried that would be an issue.”

Isadora had replaced the darker colors with fresher, brighter ones. It was certainly an improvement as it had transformed the look of the room in its entirety.

“I think the lighter color looks better,” Mrs. Wilson nodded.

“Mrs. Wilson,” Isadora started slowly, “do you really mean that or are you just saying that to make me happy?”

Mrs. Wilson let out a short laugh. “Your Grace, while I really do wish to make you happy, I would not lie in order to do that. I truly believe this.”

“So you agree that this is a better color option then?” Isadora prompted, fiddling her thumbs as she spoke. “Do you think that the Duke will agree?”

Mrs. Wilson gave her a knowing smile, as though she was suddenly in on the secret that Isadora was trying to keep.

“I believe it would be a better idea to ask him yourself, Your Grace,” Mrs. Wilson suggested, still smiling.

“Oh, I will,” Isadora sighed and then muttered under her own breath, “if he ever decides to come back home, that is.”

“I am not sure if I caught that, Your Grace?”

“Nothing,” Isadora jumped up. “I…” She closed her mouth again.

At this point, she had learned to stop interrogating the staff about her husband’s whereabouts. Not only did it not help in the slightest, but it also landed her into trouble more times than it ought.

“I suppose I shall wait for him to come home,” she announced with a sigh. “Until then, I will continue working to make changes around the manor.”

“If you require any help, Your Grace, then I am at your assistance,” Mrs. Wilson offered.

Isadora waved her off. “Thank you, but this will have to be entirely my own undertaking.”

If anything, it kept her busy. And that was what she needed, right? Distractions. Lots of them.

Though, it was ironic that the person whom she wanted to show the changes to the most had not seen them.

An idea struck her then. In order for her to get his attention, she would have to change the place that he frequented the most.

His study.

“Mrs. Wilson!” she called out, excitedly. “Oh, gather the house staff. There is an urgent… and exciting project that we need to start on and finish by the day’s end.”

When she had finished briefing the staff on the changes that needed to be made, there was only silence at first. Everyone was staring at her, dumbfounded—as though she had said something that should have never been uttered out loud to begin with.

“His study, Your Grace?” Mrs. Wilson was the first to speak, albeit hesitantly.

“Yes, I have already thought of what changes I wish to make,” Isadora confirmed. “We do not have much time, however, so we must get started immediately. We need a fresh wash of paint, and we need to re-organize the furniture. Perhaps even change the paintings.”

“Is that truly wise, Your Grace?” one of the maids asked carefully. “His Grace is… particular about his study.”

There were murmurs of agreement amongst the staff.

“Yes, well,” Isadora said, lifting her chin, “he has been away long enough that I doubt he will even notice. Besides, the place can really use some lightening up. I think he will grow to appreciate the changes.”

The staff still looked hesitant, shifting awkwardly.

“I am his wife,” Isadora reminded them, forcing a reassuring smile. “I should be able to make changes to our home, shouldn’t I?”

“Yes, Your Grace, of course,” the maid replied. “It is just that… well, His Grace does not like things to be moved.”

“That much I gathered,” Isadora sighed, crossing her arms. “But if he dislikes it, he can tell me himself.”

In fact, this way he would have to tell her himself, so in a way, it was the perfect plan. It gave her something to do, and it provided the Duke an reason to stop avoiding her.

“Well, then, the Duchess has spoken.” Mrs. Wilson broke the tense silence again. “The study could use a bit of freshening up, and all of us ought to get to work.”

Isadora turned to her, her eyes hopeful. “Exactly! We shall make improvements. Now, let us get to work immediately.”

Isadora was tired from a long day of work, but she did not let that deter her. That night, she stayed up as late as it took to intercept the Duke as he returned home. The moment he stepped into the house, she pounced on him.

“Finally!” she exclaimed, making her presence known.

Evan took a step back, bringing one of his hands to his chest. He was clearly startled to see her. “Isadora?”

“Unless you were expecting another woman waiting at home for you.” She could not help but make the biting comment. “Yes, it is Isadora. Your wife. ”

Evan shook his head. “What are you doing awake at this hour?”

“Waiting for you.” She gestured broadly. “I thought that much was obvious. Was it not? It took you a long time to get home.”

“I have been busy with work.” He shook his head at her. “And you should have been busy sleeping. This is no time for you to be awake. Off to bed with you.”

“No, no, no,” she stopped him. “You cannot dismiss me so easily and simply go to bed. I have been waiting here for a reason.”

Evan raised an eyebrow. “And what is that reason? I shudder to ask.”

Even in the middle of the night, Evan did not lose his sarcasm.

“I have something to show you. Will you follow me?”

His smirk deepened. “Not even a ‘welcome home’ before you start issuing orders?”

She grabbed his wrist, tugging him along. “Just follow me.”

He let out a slow exhale but allowed it.

When they arrived at the study, Isadora stopped just before the doors, turning to face him.

She hesitated for the first time. What if he hated it?

Well, it was too late now to turn back, so she might as well go forward with her plan.