Page 6

S eth could hear the raucous laughter of Lady Collingworth at the wedding breakfast.

He should be out there with his bride, sitting beside her and making small talk with all the people the Earl had invited.

Instead, he was sitting in his study, alone, nursing a glass of whiskey.

I am not hiding . I am merely choosing when I will return to the company.

The suffocation he had felt in the church had eased as he returned to the manor. Heaven only knew what Alicia thought of him, marching away from her like that.

She will have to become accustomed to my absences. Perhaps starting from the wedding is as good a thing as any.

He contemplated the glass in his fingers, the amber liquid glinting in the firelight.

Undoubtedly, his reaction to her had been due to his abstinence from vice. It had been many weeks since he had lain with a woman; his body was merely starved for touch.

Yes, that is the reason.

Still, he could not shake the disquiet that had come over him as his lips had touched hers. The heat that spread over his skin, the need he felt to have her right there in front of everyone. The bulge in his breeches was the only thing that had calmed.

He knocked back the rest of the whiskey, before pouring himself another measure.

Not only was his bride going to learn that he was an absent husband, but she would also believe him to be a drunk at this rate.

Staring at the glass in his fingers, he frowned at it, putting it down on the silver tray beside him and walking to the window.

He had not felt so out of sorts for a long time.

Generally, his days were filled with routines and activities that distracted him from melancholy thoughts, but not today.

Perhaps it was the presence of his friends, but his thoughts kept returning to Gordon.

When he had lain down to sleep the night before, he had been plagued by visions of his best friend’s body every time he closed his eyes.

Even after all these years, the devastation that swamped him when he considered Gordon’s final hours was acute and unbearable.

It was maddening to still not know what had befallen him. Sometimes he felt that Gordon’s death had been more painful, more devastating than his father’s.

Staring out the window, he watched a bird pecking at the grass. He often saw robins and magpies from his study, and every day he would spend several minutes watching them.

This was a starling, a female, her beak puncturing the earth at intervals as her wiry feet skipped over the blades of grass beneath.

The dark brown of her feathers and flecks of white looked like snowflakes that had been captured beneath her wings, and her jerky, sporadic movements helped calm him as he focused on her path across the lawn.

A knock on the door sent his mood plummeting again.

Can I not be given a moment’s peace?

Expecting the butler, or a footman, he barked an order for them to enter, only to be greeted with Michael’s jovial face as he poked his head around the door.

“Found him,” he said triumphantly as he entered the room, Isaac and Lucas following behind and closing the door with a click.

Seth tried to hide his scowl, but evidently, he was not successful, as Michael raised an eyebrow at him quizzically.

Isaac strode inside, ever the man of action. Lucas and Michael hung back, watching him warily.

Lucas was always the last to engage in any kind of confrontation, whereas Michael usually interjected when he had all the facts. Isaac would want to resolve things as quickly and efficiently as he could.

Seth watched them gather, not anticipating the impending conversation with any relish.

As usual, Lucas was the most flamboyantly dressed, with a gold and green waistcoat that made him wince. Michael and Isaac’s attire was more somber in color, as if they had been dressed by the same tailor.

Looking at the two of them side by side, one would have been forgiven for assuming they were related.

Both were tall and muscular, with angular features, and the only difference was their hair.

Isaac’s hair was thick and dark, while Michael’s was blond and often flopped over his forehead in a way that always attracted the ladies.

All of them had the same knowing look on their faces, which only angered Seth further.

“You look rather irritated, Radcliffe,” Isaac noted, walking further into the room.

His gait was off, the limp from his injuries at war all the more obvious as the light played across his tan breeches.

It was yet another reminder to Seth of how long it had been since he had seen him. He had forgotten about the limp until now.

“I am having a few moments of solitude. Can I help you with something?” he asked angrily.

Lucas and Michael exchanged a glance, and Isaac plopped down in a chair opposite his desk as though he had been invited.

“Do you need to help us with anything?” Isaac asked, leaving his bad leg on the floor and propping the other on the edge of Seth’s desk.

“I would rather there was a reason for your visit, yes,” Seth muttered, turning back to the window and frowning when he realized the starling had flown away.

“We came to find you,” Lucas said, his voice lighter than Isaac’s. “Is it not traditional for the groom to be present at his own wedding breakfast?”

Seth eyed his reflection in the window as Lucas fiddled with one of the brass buttons on his waistcoat and brushed something invisible from his shoulder.

I have never met a man who cared so much for his appearance as Lucas Oakley.

“I am present. I am merely taking a break from the nosiness of my guests,” he said, looking at them all pointedly. “Please go about your business.”

“Good God, man,” Isaac huffed. “You have abandoned your bride, and the whole room is shocked by your disappearance after the ceremony. Are you displeased with how beautiful she is, perhaps?”

His tone was indifferent, but Seth felt an alarming sense of fierce possessiveness rise inside him.

The idea that his friends admired Alicia, or that any man might do so, made him want to smash his fist through the window.

“I am not allowed to be alone, then?” he asked.

“Not on your wedding day, Radcliffe, no,” Michael said woodenly. “And would you look at us when we are speaking with you; we are not strangers.”

There was hurt in his voice, and Seth held back a curse. This was why he did not spend time with them often. He had loved these men like brothers once, before they had lost everything together.

They had shared one another’s pain as the trial and the endless gossip of the ton rumbled on steadily for years. They had supported and protected one another in the darkest of times, and Seth knew that he owed them his life.

Seeing them brought all those unwelcome memories back. He avoided their company for precisely this reason—to forget them and try to move on with his life.

But you cannot shut them out. They will not let you, because they are as damnably loyal as you once claimed to be.

Reluctantly, he turned around, his stomach lurching at the sight of their familiar faces all lined up together.

For want of anything better to occupy himself, he sat back down at his desk.

“You are being very tiresome,” Isaac said, never one to hold back when he was annoyed by something. “We came here to congratulate you, and here you are, brooding and drinking.”

Lucas walked over to the little silver tray beside Seth’s armchair, picked up the glass he had been nursing, and took a healthy swallow, saluting him in the process.

Seth fought a smile.

Damn the man. He always knew how to make me laugh.

“Your bride is alone out there, old chap. It’s hardly good form to abandon her in a room full of guests,” Lucas cautioned. “Do you know any of them? They are all strangers to me, I am sure. Have you no new friends, perhaps? You did rather luck out with us.”

Seth’s resolve not to smile faltered, and his lips quirked up.

Michael and Isaac chuckled as Lucas clapped his hands together.

“Four minutes. Michael, I told you I could break his melancholy. What a sour puss you are, Radcliffe. Come, come, what is the matter with you? She is uncommonly pretty and seems to have a sensible head on her shoulders. Has she done something to displease you already?”

Seth fixed him with a brooding glare that he ignored, simply arching an eyebrow in response.

“Well?”

“You know I have no interest in matrimony,” Seth muttered.

“Oh yes, you only wanted to secure your future and your fortune, I remember. If you have no interest in marriage, could you not have picked someone less beautiful? Leave some for the rest of us, you selfish oaf.”

“You can keep your eyes off my wife,” Seth snapped, and then clenched his fists as his friends stared at him.

Lucas huffed a laugh. “I wasn’t planning to steal her on your wedding day, Radcliffe. But I thought you didn’t care. You certainly don’t seem to.”

Seth looked up at him, startled by his candid statement.

The words felt like needles in his skin. He didn’t care; that had always been his intention. Yet having it pointed out filled him with a strange sense of guilt.

What if I go out there and the same desire overcomes me again? I need to tup a woman and get it out of my system before I spend any more time with my wife.

His wife.

“You know it would make your life much easier if your wife could stand to be in the same room as you,” Lucas continued. “I know of many marriages where both parties despise one another. It looks exhausting. I would not want that for you.”

Seth dropped his head in his hands, wishing they would leave him alone. But none of them seemed interested in giving him a reprieve.

“I have one complaint, seeing as we are not allowed to compliment her,” Isaac piped up.

“She does smile overmuch. It is becoming a little unnerving. I do not think she has stopped grinning once during breakfast. Most unnatural. Despite your absence, she seems very happy. Perhaps you are not needed, after all.”

Seth arranged some parchment on his desk into a pile, lining up his quills so they were all in a row before he looked at his friends. Nobody said anything more, and he was dismayed to find it was rather wonderful to see them.

He had missed them, despite everything. It was good to be amongst people who truly knew him, the good and the bad. Despite their warnings and exasperation at his behavior, their eyes were soft and filled with understanding as he glanced at each of them.

“Is there more whiskey?” Lucas asked.

“I did not permit you to finish my glass,” Seth grumbled.

Michael nodded decisively, crossing over to the desk and looming over him. “Come now, Radcliffe, this is a happy day. I shall see you cheer up.”

Without warning, he gripped Seth’s hand, pulled him out of his chair, and shoved him toward the door, making him stumble.

“Is this really necessary, Grant? I was coming out anyway.”

“Definitely,” Michael insisted. “I will not have a beautiful bride sitting by herself for a moment longer. If you do not go out there, I shall join her myself.”

Seth glowered at him all over again, but his friend was not put off in the slightest.

Lucas appeared at his elbow, and Seth knew he would have no choice but to stop hiding and go and be with his bride.

He tugged at his coat, fixing the sleeve at his right wrist as Lucas opened the door and swept an arm down to the floor in a low bow.

“After you, My Liege,” he stated solemnly.

“You are an idiot,” Seth muttered, hiding his smile as he went to rejoin his wife.