Page 30

T he following day, Alicia’s eyes fluttered open as the sun streamed through her window.

There was a mixture of determination and uncertainty running through her, even before she had risen for the day.

Pushing the covers off her, she tiptoed to the window. It was still early, and she could see Christopher far down on the lawn, skipping about on the soil.

The gardens were quiet and still, not a hint of a breeze in the air, but there was a rhythmic crunching sound coming from somewhere. Her fingers tightened against the cold sill as she saw Seth below her.

He was partially obscured from view by the curtains, digging ruthlessly at one of the beds. As she examined them more closely, it appeared that he had done all three.

Christopher had been attracted by the freshly tilled soil no doubt, and Alicia frowned, disquieted by the scene.

Why is Seth up so early? Is he still troubled?

He was wearing a thin shirt over his back, and she could see his muscles bunching and flexing as he slammed the spade into the soil over and over again.

Alicia settled on the windowsill to watch him, enjoying the view too much to make herself go back to bed.

I want to help chase his darkness away.

When she had gone to bed alone the night before, his words in the carriage were all she could think about.

The idea that this darkness had dogged him for so long, tracked his steps, and made him the brooding and unhappy man he was, made her heart ache for him.

No one should be ruled by their past, and certainly not if they hoped to carve out a new future.

She picked at a hangnail on her left hand, wondering whether he saw a future with her or simply wished to rid himself of his demons.

He had touched her in ways that set her skin alight. Their time in the theatre box had been decadent, sensual—intoxicating. She could hardly believe it had taken place, now that a new day had dawned.

I can only pray that no one heard or saw us. I would never be able to survive the shame.

But it was only perceived shame, in the eyes of others.

When Alicia thought of his fingers running over her skin, the wicked glide of his body against hers in the most intimate of places, she felt hot all over. But no shame. Not for what they had shared, just a lingering sadness that perhaps it meant more to her than it did to him.

But she was still determined to help him.

Perhaps this marriage was a convenience for Seth, but that did not mean that he should be plagued by the ghost of his friend all his life.

One thing was certain: if Seth continued to be tormented by his past, he would never be able to open himself up to love.

Alicia would be robbed of the marriage she now craved to have with him. And with everything that had happened, she did not know if he would be able to get there alone.

How can I help him, though?

There were two women she knew who would be able to assist her in concocting a plan, but guilt washed over her as she remembered how they had parted.

I behaved like a child.

Pressing her lips together, she remained at the window for a little time, watching Seth’s strong figure bend over the beds and recalling how domineering and commanding he had been in the box.

She shivered, a smile tugging at her lips as she rang the bell for Rose.

By the time she went downstairs, Seth was still in the gardens. Whatever thoughts he was trying to banish with the rigorous activity were proving stubborn, indeed.

Alicia stood in the entrance hall, Dove held against her chest, irritated by her disappointment at his absence.

This was usually the time when they had breakfast. Seth would speak of some uncommon bird or owl that he had long been searching for across the English countryside, and she would enjoy listening to him describe its habits.

When did learning about birds become my favorite pastime?

Not wanting to miss an opportunity to spend time with him, Alicia strode out of the house and along the drive before she headed into the garden.

Seth’s shirt was soaked with sweat, clinging to his muscular shoulders, his biceps bulging against the fabric. Alicia felt a wave of want so potent that she stumbled across the gravel path.

At the noise, Seth twisted around, and for an instant, his gaze was black and furious. Then, as he saw her, his countenance softened considerably.

He glanced up at the house, his Adam’s apple bobbing.

“My apologies, did I wake you?” he asked, throwing the spade into the soil and turning to face her.

His shirt had come loose completely, and Alicia could not stop her eyes from roaming over the flat, chiseled planes of his torso.

When she glanced back up at him, his eyes glinted, and he smirked.

“Breakfast is served,” she said, her cheeks pinkening slightly at the need that crept into her voice.

Seth relaxed his stance, tilting his head to the side. “Are you unable to eat alone anymore, Duchess? I am honored that you require my presence.”

Dove was trying to scramble down to get to him, and Alicia frowned, pulling the kitten back against her.

“I am more than capable of eating alone, but I thought you would need some refreshment. You have been out here for hours.”

Seth glanced back at the beds and the tilled soil. Langham was making his way toward them from across the lawn, seeming completely unsurprised to see his master tending the soil.

“I suppose I have,” Seth said, his tone teasing. “I shan’t come back inside until you admit you want me to eat with you, though.”

Alicia glared at him, but he simply raised an eyebrow. She had to hold back the urge to stomp her foot.

The silence stretched.

“All right! I have grown accustomed to your presence.”

Seth threw his head back and laughed heartily, at which point Langham stopped, watching him with a smile of his own.

“Quite the endorsement, Duchess,” he declared. “Very well, you have convinced me. We cannot keep Miss Baines waiting, after all.”

He sauntered over, his long legs drawing her eyes even as she attempted not to look at them.

“Do you think I should change?” His voice was low and intimate as he loomed over her, his dark eyes like pits to lose herself in.

Alicia swallowed. “That would probably be wise.”

“You do not like what I am wearing? Perhaps I should sew a strange coat using the tattered pieces of my old ones, as you have done.”

“You may do as you like,” she said, flustered by his proximity, memories of the night before flashing through her mind.

He lifted a hand, running the back of it against her cheek, smiling as she shuddered.

“Hm, perhaps you are right. I shall meet you on the terrace, Duchess. Thank you for coming to retrieve me. I enjoy our mornings together, too.”

He scratched Dove between her ears and then walked back into the house.

Alicia stood watching him, the kitten in her arms, wondering when she had begun to crave his company to such a degree.

That afternoon, she went to meet Bridget and Katie.

Alicia had decided that, having lost her once, the best way to make sure Dove did not go missing again was to have her with her at all times. That was how she found herself holding the kitten on her lap as she traveled through the streets of the local village.

Following her visit to Omingham Tearooms , Seth had told her there was a better, more refined establishment in a local village, and she had suggested it for their meeting.

She was instantly glad of it, for as she reached the edge of the village, the heavens opened and a cascade of warm rain fell all about her.

Every shop she passed had an awning outside of it, and she hoped that Bridget and Katie had been able to find shelter.

Her worry was unfounded, however, as when she arrived at the tearooms, she found her friends seated by the window.

“Find somewhere dry to wait if you can, Sterling,” she said to the driver. “I shall be an hour or so.”

“Very good, Your Grace.” The sharp crack of the whip sounded as the carriage moved off, and she walked inside.

The tearooms were far more elegant than Omingham’s . The furniture was of the finest quality, and the soft, pale green of the walls helped to give it a refined and pleasant air.

Tablecloths lined every surface, and the china was beautifully painted, with delicate blackberries around the rim.

Katie and Bridget rose as she entered, and Alicia was relieved to see no anger on their faces.

She reached to embrace Katie but was instantly interrupted by her excited gasp.

“Oh my Goodness! Oh Bridget, look! Oh, she is utterly beautiful.”

Katie plucked Dove from Alicia’s arms.

Bridget came forward, too, and stroked the cat, who mewed at them both, struggling to escape so she could get to the butter that had been placed at the center of the table.

After much fawning and purring from Dove, Katie and Bridget sat down opposite Alicia, and their tea was brought in short order.

Dove settled quite happily in Katie’s lap and fell asleep as they helped themselves to the excellent scones that were presented to them.

All of them sipped their tea in unison, cups at their lips, eyes flicking around the table to see who would be the first to speak.

Alicia would have found it amusing if she had not been so nervous about what she had to confess.

“I am sorry,” she blurted, placing her cup in its saucer. “I was beastly to you both the last time we saw each other. You have only ever tried to help me, and I was unfair in how I reacted.”

To her dismay, Katie and Bridget merely exchanged an indecipherable look and stared at her, as if waiting for more.

Alicia bit her lip. “It was difficult for me to hear you speak about Seth in such a way.”

She hesitated, and there was a long silence before Bridget leaned forward, looking confused.

“Why?”

“Because…” Alicia wrung her hands in her lap, her palms clammy as she met their gazes in turn.

“Because I care for him. I have since the beginning, even when I was supposed to hate him. I didn’t intend it, but I don’t wish to annul the marriage as we planned.

Not anymore. I do not believe for a moment that the rumors are true.

He would not hurt anyone, of that I am sure. ”

She was out of breath by the time she had said her piece, bracing herself against their inevitable shock and disapproval.

Her friends exchanged another look, but this time both of them were smiling, and Katie gave a little titter.

“I knew it,” Bridget said to her. “Didn’t I tell you it would come out in the end?”

“What on earth do you mean?” Alicia asked, dumbfounded.

“Ever since the day we all met, I said to Katie that I did not believe you hated him. There was something in your voice that was all wrong, considering how you were supposed to feel,” Bridget said with smug satisfaction.

“But I did try to repel him,” Alicia insisted.

“I believe you, but I do not think you were sure why . Not after you were married. You have found someone who suits you, against all the odds.”

Alicia held out her hands to them both. “I am still sorry.”

Katie smiled. “We started this because we did not believe you could ever be happy with him. This was something forced and unnatural. How you feel for him now changes everything.”

The tension in Alicia’s shoulders finally eased. It was good to have her friends’ approval.

Bridget furrowed her brow as she squeezed Alicia’s fingers. “What is it? What is troubling you? Does he not feel the same?”

Alicia shook her head, the sadness rising from within once more. “In truth, I am not sure. All I know is that until he has moved on from his past, we can never be happy together.”

She picked up her cup, sipping her tea to soothe her dry throat.

“We talked. He spoke a little about the trial, about what he was accused of. You should hear him speak about Lord Fernside; the emotion in his voice would be obvious to anyone. He misses him. I do not think he ever harmed him.”

She sighed. “But I also do not know how to help. He wishes to banish the darkness from his past, to move on and begin a new chapter. But how can I help him when I do not know the details of the case and what he went through?”

Katie leaned forward, her expression earnest. “Sometimes, simply being there is enough. He has spoken to you about his troubles; that is a wonderful thing.”

Alicia nodded. “I can only hope he finds his way through this.” She looked at her friends, vulnerable and raw in her confession. “I never thought I would want to share my life with him, but now I do—most desperately.”