Page 31

Chapter

Thirty-One

“ W here is Father?” Kieran asked.

Niall looked around the hall but did not see him. “Did he not come from Angus’s chamber behind us?”

Kieran shrugged as they sat before the hearth that now roared with a fire to keep out the chill.

Even in summer months, when Glenhaven would be at its warmest, the fire roared.

As servants began to prepare for supper around them, Niall and Kieran spoke of Angus.

Of Duncraig. And eventually, of their father.

“Has he spoken of it?” Niall asked his brother.

“Nay.” Kieran shook his head. “The stubborn old goat refuses to, though I’ve tried more than once. How has she been received here?”

“Better than expected.” A pang in his chest made Niall envision the frail man in his bed abovestairs who had collapsed in his arms. “Angus,” he said. No other words were necessary. The bond between his wife and the steward , though briefly formed, was evident for all to see in his chamber.

“Angus.” Kieran accepted a mug from a serving woman who poured his ale and then she did the same with Niall. “He will not survive, will he?”

Niall simply did not know. “The healer—”

“Apologize to her.”

He would have, should have, many years ago. “I cannae.”

“Aye, brother, you can. She will forgive you, and you will be better for it.”

The two fell silent as the hall came alive between them. They spoke of other things, of the MacKinlay cattle, all but the most important matter. What would happen if Niall’s father did not accept his wife? If he was forced to give up his place in the clan?

“Kieran. If I am not second, there is no man better suited for the position than you. I would be proud to serve you,” he said, meaning the words.

“Nay,” his brother immediately dismissed him. “I will not allow such talk.”

“In many ways, you are more well suited to it.”

“Niall,” his brother said again. “Nay.”

The more he thought on the matter, the more Niall realized his words rang true. Kieran would make a fine chief. Would any reject him for not being his father’s natural-born son? Niall was unsure of the answer to that question, but of his leadership abilities, he was more certain.

They both stood as the chief of Clan Duncraig approached them.

As always, his father appeared ready for battle, even if ‘twas just with words. Niall raised his arm for a serving girl as his father joined them, and all three sat once again.

“I would speak with you on the matter of your wife,” his father said without preamble, as was his custom.

Niall, prepared to defend her, leaned forward. Niall watched his father and, knowing him well, realized he had come to a decision. His fate would be decided in this very moment.

But unlike the day he’d arrived at Glenhaven, he was not filled with despair at the thought of losing his place in the clan. He’d gained much, much more.

“Angus accepted her,” he said. ‘Twas a statement, and not a question.

“He did,” Niall said.

“He is more of a man than I have been.”

Niall and Kieran exchanged a glance. Had he heard his father correctly?

Surely not.

Though they were separated from others in the hall, it also seemed a very public place to have such a discussion. Especially if his father truly meant those words.

“You may have to repeat yourself,” Kieran said, echoing Niall’s thoughts.

“I spent many years hating Clan MacKinlay. When you brought Lady Avelina home as your wife, I allowed that hate to overtake the love I bear you,” he said to Niall. “I am sorry for it, Son.”

His father had rarely spoken of his love for either him or Kieran, even if they knew it was there. And he apologized, especially to his sons, even less than that.

Niall had no words to offer.

Kieran, it seemed, had none either.

“If I wish to find quiet in my hall,” his father said finally, “I know how to achieve it.”

“You will admit, Father,” Niall said, “your words are uncommon for you.”

“A man admits when he is wrong.”

“You decided this abovestairs with Angus?” Kieran seemed to have finally found his voice as well.

Their father may apologize, but he did not seem inclined to further explain himself.

He did say to Niall, “I’ve thought of nothing else since you left, as I told you I would.”

Though he was grateful, Niall also needed his father to understand what his words truly meant. “It is my wife you should offer your apology to, not I,” he said.

“As I’ve done.”

Another surprise.

“I spoke with her outside Angus’s chamber. Lady Avelina is as gracious as your mother claims. She accepted it, and I welcomed her to our clan.”

“Where is she now?” Niall asked.

“Gathering herbs or finding someone to gather them for her, I suppose, for the healer.”

The healer.

A man admits when he is wrong.

He stood. Niall should have done this many, many years ago.

“I am glad for this, Father,” he said. “Although I will say that I reconciled my brother as second in my stead. He would do as well as or better than I in the role.” Both his father and Kieran looked as if they would argue with him, but Niall would not be waylaid.

“Now, if you will pardon me, I must speak to someone at once.”

And that someone happened to be sitting in Angus’s bedchamber along with his mother. But this could not wait.

“Will you allow us,” he asked his mother, “a moment alone?”

His mother smiled and wordlessly inclined her head, leaving the chamber.

The healer sat with her hands on her lap beside Angus’s bed. He seemed to be sleeping, though, thankfully, and not in any pain.

“It was I who chased you that night,” he said without preamble. “Though I was but a boy, that does not pardon me. I am more sorry for it than anything I’ve ever done before or after that day.”

The healer did not appear at all surprised. “I know, my son. Have always known.”

He blinked. “How?”

“When you play cards with the devil, he tells you many things.”

So, she still claimed that to be true? No matter. He did not come to Angus’s chamber to pass judgment on what he did not understand but to apologize for what he’d done.

“He waits to claim me,” Niall said, only partially jesting.

“Ahh, no. He knew you would be here now, attempting to atone for something you need not atone for. You were a boy, as you say, and held no real malice toward me.”

“Nay,” he agreed. “I did not then and do not now. Not toward you, mistress, only myself.”

She looked at Angus. “Regret serves no purpose. Life is precarious, as you can see. But I do thank you for the apology.”

Regret serves no purpose.

You held no real malice toward me.

Perhaps he should not so easily discount a woman who had saved many lives.

A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts.

Niall opened it, an awareness filling him. Lina. He wished to pull her toward him, hold her for all eternity. Instead, he let his wife inside.

“I’ve the herbs,” she said, “and an apology from Glenhaven’s healer who attends a birth at present. She will be here when the babe is born.” Lina rushed to the healer’s side.

“I’ve no need for her. These will work, or they will not. But we shall know Angus’s fate soon enough.

He exchanged a glance with his wife as the healer went to work, grinding the herbs together.

Somehow, she knew why he was here. Her smile told him she approved, and Niall decided he could not wait a moment longer.

Taking Lina by the arm, he ushered her into the corridor. Cupping her face with both hands, he thought of the moment they met. And of how quickly his hate for her had turned to love, even if he’d not realized at the time.

Niall had much to tell her as they waited to learn Angus’s fate, but he would not waste another moment of life without uttering the words he should have done so long ago.

“I love you, my lady wife,” he said. “I’ve loved you for some time but did not know it, or knew it and was afraid to say as much lest you did not feel the same.

I love your fire, your heart, your kindness, and most especially.

. .” He could tell she thought he would say something about their lovemaking.

Instead, he kissed her on the lips and pulled back. “Your aim.”

She laughed. “That was not what I expected you to say.”

“What do you expect then?” he asked.

His hands dropped down to her neck, gently caressing there, and then to the top of her shoulders where they remained, Niall wishing to feel the soft touch of his wife’s skin.

“Something else,” she said, still too shy to say the words.

No matter. He would teach her to say them, to tell him anything she wished. But for now, there was just one thing he wanted to know. And was about to ask when Lina blurted, “And I love you, Niall, as well you know.”

“I did suspect,” he teased, “but am glad to hear it.”

He wanted to ask about the conversation she had with his father. Tell him of theirs. Talk of Angus and ask about the herbs. Tell her his thoughts on Kieran being his father’s second. So much he wanted to tell his wife, but instead, he simply kissed her again.

They had a lifetime to discuss such things.

And would. ‘Twould be he and Lina making a life together at Glenhaven Manor.

Together.