Page 41 of Hiding Secrets (Hidden Desires Trilogy #2)

Hunter

She was sitting here in my study again, wearing clothes that finally fit her. Marcus had ordered her every god damn thing on the list, but the pajama set was something I didn’t know she’d be wearing right now. The fluffy, teddy bear-like fabric was hugging every curve of her ass from this angle.

I wasn’t mad that she was here, I loved that she felt comfortable enough to be in here with me.

It was the temptation I was trying to handle that had me cracking my neck and bouncing my knee under my desk as I answered emails for the company and dealt with phone conferences.

She didn’t bother me one bit during all of it.

As if she knew I was busy and she wanted to be close as she did her own thing.

She was reading the new book she picked out from my shelves a few days ago and at the rate she was reading them, I was going to need to order her more, maybe even add a new shelf for her .

No, stop.

She looks so comfortable sitting there, only getting up to grab her snacks.

She even brought me a plate and another coffee as well.

I wasn’t used to that. I haven’t had a woman do things for me in a very long time.

It reminded me of when my mom would bring snacks for Marcus, Kam, and I as we studied or played video games in high school.

We wouldn’t ask for them, she just knew we would need to stay hydrated and fed and she wanted to help.

My coffee mug and plate were empty now as the day was ending. The sky outside the window was dull as the sun dropped below the tree lines of the woods that surrounded us.

I look up as I hear Elliott let out a deep breath, closing the book before laying it on her chest with a smile plastered on her face. I grin to myself as her eyes close.

“That good, huh?”

She turned her head to me, but kept her eyes shut, “Very good.” She says with a smile still on her face. “I didn’t realize love could be like that.” Her eyes open, looking straight at me.

I don’t break eye contact, “Like what?” I rest my elbows on the desk, ready to give my full attention to what she’s about to tell me.

“So…caring?” She shakes her head at her own words, “No, that’s not the right word for it. I mean yes, they care about their partners but it’s more than that.” She pauses, taking a deep breath, “It’s as if they can’t breathe without one another. ”

“That's a romance book for you.” I give out a small chuckle.

“You don’t think love can be like that?”

“I think love can be anything you make it.”

“Have you ever been in love?”

“I am in love.” Her pupils dilate as she rolls over to her side to listen to me more attentively.

“I have Kameron and Marcus. And while yes we are…” I run a hand down my face at my own frustration now, “not on the best of terms. Not the terms I would like to be on, I will never stop loving them or being in love with them.” I push off my chair, crossing the room and pulling out a bottle of wine from the small bar I have in here for these exact moments.

“How did you all meet?”

I smile to myself as I pop the cork and grab two wine glasses from the bottom shelf, “That’s a long story,” I give each glass a generous pour before turning to her, holding the glass up slightly as a silent offer, “You up for that?” I cock a brow at her.

“Yes.” She sits up on the sofa, moving to one side and pats the now-empty spot next to her.

I bring the bottle with me, setting it on the small side table and handing her the glass as I take the seat. She has her legs curled up towards her chest and she pulls the throw blanket from the back of the couch over herself, covering her smooth legs from my sight.

I welcome the lack of temptation but can’t help but long for her to remove the blanket again.

“We all met in junior high, I was in the eighth grade while Marcus and Kameron were in seventh.” I smile, remembering how they looked. We ran into each other in the hallway, but the way they made my heart stop beating. It really pissed me off back then. “We didn’t like each other at first.”

“What, really?”

“Yeah, I thought Kameron was a smug and cocky douche, and Marcus…well he was always sulking around as if the world was ending. But that was before we found out.” I snap my gaze to hers, her brows pinched together, trying to decipher my words.

“Not my story to tell.” I say before she can ask me.

“Just know that he went through a lot of shit and I’m proud of him for coming out the other side, even with all of the damage it caused.

” She doesn’t push for more information, just keeps listening, taking a sip of the wine.

“Well, when I first met Kameron and Marcus, they were inseparable. Their foster family had just moved into town and enrolled them. They were like night and day. Marcus dressed like a punk and Kameron looked like he was ready to join the country club. I couldn’t comprehend how they were best friends.

I was also struggling with the fact that they were also the most handsome guys I’ve ever laid eyes on.

I wasn’t out back then–not with my father around. ”

I inhale deeply before admitting, “I say this next part with a broken heart, but I used to make their lives a living hell. I got all of my ‘popular’ friends to tease them, bully them, make their lives miserable. We ended up torturing Marcus a lot more than I would like to admit, and he was just so…different.” I can see the look in Elliott’s eyes shift, but all she does is take a bigger gulp of her wine.

“My mom and dad were higher-ups in town, we had money from my family line and basically owned the whole town. So everyone wanted to be my friend since the Sinclair name was on almost every building.”

That small town was full of closed minded people who wanted everything to fall under the strict rules they followed, that their parents followed, and their parents’ parents followed.

“Everyday at school I would watch Kam and Marcus talk, making jokes and hanging out…it made me want to rip them apart, take Kameron for me, my friend group. But no matter what I did, Kameron was always there for Marcus, getting in my face, defending him to a fault. Fuck, we even got in a fist fight about it once.” I huff out.

Elliott gasps, “You fought him? Why?”

“I was angry.” I admit to her and also to myself, “Mad at them for being so comfortable in their own skin, how they were so close and bonded. I was fighting with the terms of my own friendships and how transactional they were. People wanted my name but not me as a person. I was battling myself and my feelings, pushing down who I really was because I knew it wouldn’t match what my father would want me to be. ”

“What did he want you to be?”

“Like him.” I state flatly. “My father was a typical old school, small town man. He wanted me to be a stereotypical manly man . An emotionless male that goes to college, gets a job, a wife, and has some kids to hate, kind of man. He didn’t want me to be me.

He wanted me to be what he thought I should be, a perfect trophy son that would carry on the Sinclair name.

I wanted his approval and love so badly back then that I shoved it all down and began to hate myself whenever it would try to peek its way out.

When Kameron and Marcus showed up, I felt my facade slipping.

” I feel a knot start to form in the back of my throat, a sting in my eyes that I haven’t felt in years, starting to creep its way in.

I clear my throat, hoping it eases the tension in my throat.

“Ahem–so when I started high school, I was finally free of them for a year, well at least at school. I still had to see them around town, but they hardly went to the same places my ‘friends’ and I went. It felt like that masked version of me would get to survive, stay where I’m expected to.

It wasn’t until they joined for their freshman year in high school that I saw the change in them, how tall they were getting, their facial features sharper than before.

I was on the football team, always in the gym so I knew I looked different.

I was fine with sharing a school with them again.

It was big so I could keep my distance, but then Kameron had to go and try out for the team. And of course–”

“He made the team.” Elliott and I say in unison.

“Yup.” I laugh as I take a drink of wine.

Seeing her glass is almost empty, I grab the bottle and top it off for her.

“I was furious. Convinced he did it just to get under my skin. Little did I know that he was just trying to get a scholarship for college. It had never crossed my mind that could be the reason he joined, I thought everyone had money to send their kids to college. I was naive back then, a spoiled brat with personal problems.”

“What made you change your mind?”

“I was trying really hard all season to ignore Kam. He would invite Marcus to all of the practices, games, home and away, plus all of the team get-togethers. I had to see them everywhere. It was worse than in junior high. All the hormones that were pumping through me, my emotions, my feelings towards them. They would catch me staring and I would have to glare like I wanted to beat them to a pulp, when all I really wanted was to be them. My father saw me watching them from one of the team functions one time and ripped me a new one the minute we got home, calling me every harsh word in the book. Telling me he didn’t raise a sinner and he wouldn’t let me go to hell for being tempted by the Devil.

He beat me so badly that night and I just took it. ”

I remember the look on my father’s face.

He was beyond angry, disgusted that I would look at another male that way.

How he knew I was having lustful thoughts was beyond me.

I just laid there taking it, ashamed of myself for disappointing him.

For allowing myself to show him that side of me… to everyone that night.