Page 33 of Hide From Me (Chaotic Love #3)

Sixteen

Moe

Seaborn

"Where is he?" My voice echoes down the hall. For once, soldiers part, not because someone powerful is with me, but because I’ve become the storm they want to avoid. I’ve never felt rage rise like this, boiling beneath my skin and itching to erupt.

I’ve always been able to control it. But now everything is crumbling.

I always respond to Raylen. Always. But this time? I couldn't. The "we need to talk" text turned my stomach. The follow-up? Even worse. Cordelia and Jasmine. In her apartment. No context. Just betrayal.

I’m already unraveling from the mission briefing. Intel? Redacted. Teams? Blank. No faces. No details. Just whispers about Greenport and a pile of classified information designed to get someone killed.

And now this .

"The Captain—"

“Not the bloody Captain. Where is Sam?” I snap, cutting off Zander mid-sentence. He’s a new recruit, clearly too inexperienced to survive one of our interrogations—he’s already ratting out his lieutenant.

This adds to my growing list of issues: fractured trust, double lives, mission pressure, lies stacked like explosives ready to detonate, and now a fucking mental note I need to create of recruits who need more training.

It’s suffocating.

“In the security room, Sergeant,” Sam’s voice interrupts from the speaker above, the flashing red camera light casting a glow on the walls like bloodstains .

“Don't. Fucking. Move.” I growl, pushing my hand through my hair to get it out of my face as I storm down the corridor. I know I have no right to talk to a superior this way, but he has no right to meddle in matters that don’t concern him.

I don’t give a rat’s ass if it was Sharkie and Jasmine who showed up at Raylen’s place; they must have gotten the information from somewhere. If he would have just left it alone...

I swear to God, if this ruins everything—

I slam the security door open with such force that it ricochets off the wall. The flickering light behind me casts distorted shadows across the rows of monitors, yet Sam doesn’t flinch.

“You knocked over a trash can in B Hall. Don’t worry, I had someone clean it up,” he says, switching camera feeds as if I didn’t just tear the door off its hinges.

“What did you do?” I bark, and he turns slowly, controlled, knees apart, fingers interlaced, as if this is a performance.

“Me?” Sam’s tone drops and his features harden, but I refuse to back down this time.

“What did you do, Moe? Better yet, what have you been doing? What the hell have you been thinking?” His voice rises as he stands and pushes back his chair.

I can barely see over his shoulder, but the intimidating slow motion gives me enough time to catch the screen displaying Jasmine and Cordelia on screen, laughing as if they didn’t just detonate my life.

“Fuckin’ spare me,” I growl as I quickly turn on my heel, ready to cut them off before they can pass the door. Everyone is getting a piece, fuck this mask I wear so well, fuck what they expect me to be, fuck it all.

“Hey—” I shout, but I don’t finish. A hand grabs the back of my neck, and before I can think, I turn and throw a punch, my knuckles crashing into Sam’s jaw with a sickening crack.

“Jesus fuck!” Cordelia growls as Jasmine rushes into the room.

“What is going on?” Jasmine snaps, placing her hands on Sam's chest. I wish she wouldn’t try to calm him down.

I want him to fight back. I want someone to go toe to toe with me for once, unrestrained.

Sharkie slams the door shut and starts pacing in front of it as if she's trying to stand guard, and I shake out my hand.

“You tell me!” I snap. “What right did you three have—”

“Moe, it wasn’t—” Cordelia begins, looking at me with wide eyes as if my outburst is something new.

I suppose it is. Even in my rage-fueled fit, I can recognize that this isn't like me.

I should be able to manage this side of myself better and keep it hidden as I always have.

What has Raylen done to me? It's as if I have this uncontrollable fear that I'm about to lose the one thing I had hoped would save me from myself.

“We didn’t think it would hurt you. You weren’t giving us much to go on, and… I guess for good reason.” Her voice is soft now, almost small as she runs her hands down her face. I don’t care if she’s overwhelmed. Try being in my goddamn head for a day.

“Damn right, it was for good reason!” I shout, and Sam steps forward, with Jasmine barely managing to hold him back.

“Technically, the only reason you have is that you brought her into our territory and basically exposed our whole world. You could've gotten away with it–” Jasmine starts, tilting her head to get a better view of the red swollen lump forming on Sam's jaw, but he cuts her off.

“She wasn’t supposed to be a part of it!” Sam snaps, spitting blood. “What were you thinking? That she’d just… adapt? That she could live between blood and bullets like it’s some kind of fairytale? She could ruin everything .”

I roll my eyes with a huff as Sam goes through his little lecture. Does he think he's teaching me something? What the fuck is he hoping to accomplish here?

“While you’re giving lectures, maybe you should talk to your wife. Raylen beat an obstacle course record on base, and no one caught her.” I laugh, bitter and unhinged. “Or better yet, go yell at a mirror. You're the head of security, aren’t you?”

A thick silence fills the room and Cordelia starts pacing faster .

“I’ve watched you grow up, trained you, covered for you. Are you sure you want to cross this line?” Sam growls, dragging Jasmine behind him as he steps forward.

I step closer too. I want this fight.

"You know," I begin.

"That's enough. Everyone's worked up—" Cordelia tries to intervene.

"What's funny?" I sneer, finishing my thought in site of the protests. "Your wife gets a pass. But when it’s me, when it’s her, I’m suddenly the risk."

Sam grabs my shirt, yanking us nose to nose.

I grin.

"I don’t know what’s gotten into you," he says through clenched teeth. "But it ends now."

“Enough!” Cordelia yells with authority lacing her words, but it's no use; I'm already leaning in Sam's direction, narrowing my glare and refusing to back down.

"This is only the beginning." I whisper.

It's the truth; I'll rip every person in this base down to the ground. I'll expose everyones past present and future and by God, I'll do it to the fucking public if that's what it takes.

Sam's brows furrow as his gaze shifts over my face, the deep crease in his forehead illuminated by the door creaking open. I should feel nervous or scared when my name is shouted across the room in a voice I know all too well but don't want to hear right now. Instead, all I feel is numb.

"This is for your own sake," Sam mutters, and I swallow hard as he pushes against my chest, making me stumble back. It's ironic how I spent so much time trying to get him and Caspian to reconcile, and now I'm ruining a friendship I'm not sure I can repair.

Everything feels fuzzy like I’m being pulled from a deep sleep.

It’s unsettling, making my stomach turn, and my hands shake at my sides.

I lost my cool; my mask slipped for everyone to see.

It feels like I'm living an out-of-body experience, but it's not me I'm watching; it's my grandfather as he yelled at me to shoot my brother.

He was willing to do anything despite his daughter bleeding out by my feet.

He didn't care–he was insane–and yet I just hit that point without even realizing it.

The thoughts I had can’t be taken back; the words I said are forever there. Yet, I know if I were to do it over, it would end the same.

“Moe!” Caspian's voice is louder this time, but I don't glance in his direction.

I'm too focused on Sam slipping back into his chair, shoulders tense, as he drags file after file onto the screen, along with so much past security footage from around town that it makes my already scrambled thoughts turn into pure mush.

“Someone tell me what the bloody hell is going on!” Caspian yells, and Sam stands, interlacing his hand with Jasmine's as he tugs her towards the door. Jasmine tries to catch my eye, but I can't pull my attention from my feet.

“Caspian, just listen—” Sharkie starts.

“Don’t,” I interrupt. “I, uh—this is something I have to do.”

I shove my hands in my pockets, focusing on the tips of Caspian’s boots as they stop just inches from mine.

“Look, you’ve been under a lot—”

“Stop making excuses for me,” I snap my head toward Cordelia, and my expression softens as her brows furrow.

She can’t read me anymore, and she knows it.

If only she realized she never could in the first place.

I bet it’s hard for her—my mother was her best friend and manipulated her for years, making her believe that their friendship was genuine, even though it was all a facade–I can only imagine she’s feeling the sting of betrayal again.

I lift my head toward Caspian. He’s staring past me, his eyes narrowed at Raylen’s file open on the monitors.

I'd love to look with him and learn all the things she's yet to tell me, but I'm too busy mentally preparing for the outburst he’s about to have–for the disappointment I'm sure will cross his features.

“That’s her,” he mutters.

I nod.

Yeah, that’s her—the one I’d risk everything for. The one who has no idea how much of myself I’ve bled for her.

The woman I’d burn the world for.

“Goddamn it.” Caspian growls as his head snaps in my direction, then back to the screens as if trying to process the situation. “What–Why–fuck Moe!”

“Look, I… Cas…” I start clenching my fists tightly to avoid losing myself again.

“A fucking inch. I give you a bloody inch–”

“And I take a mile, I know, but—” I finish, but he’s already cutting me off again, scolding me like a goddamn child. I’ll never be able to escape this. No matter what I do, I’ll always be seen as a kid.