Page 66 of Here With Me

“You’re still young,” I remind him. “You have plenty of time.”

“You were married and had two kids when ya were my age,” he says.

I nod as I continue eating. “Yeah, I did. But that doesn’t mean it’s for everyone.”

“Not sure it was for you either.”

I glance up to him staring at me as if he’s daring me to argue, but he knows I won’t.

“If I’m bein’ honest, I wasn’t ready to be a husband and a dad at twenty years old, but we got pregnant anyway. I don’t regret marrying your mom because we got two beautiful children out of it. When my career took off after Lyla was born, I had to keep travelin’ and doin’ my job in order to make ends meet. It’s not a lifestyle that works for everyone,” I admit.

Jase’s cold stare as he cuts into his steak has me wondering if he’ll say what he’s really thinking. How I neglected him, how it’s my fault his sister died, or how I don’t deserve a second chance to be in his life.

But he says none of those things.

Instead, he shoves a forkful of food into his mouth and gives me a hesitant nod. Either he doesn’t have a comeback or he doesn’t want to say it in front of Noah.

The server arrives with Jase’s mushrooms, and thankfully, after that, the conversation shifts to Jase’s success in his new real estate career. I’m happy he found a career he loves since I knew he wouldn’t follow in my footsteps or do anything ranch work-related. Noah talks about the fundraiser and trick riding she’ll be doing with Donut soon. By the time we finish eating, most of the discomfort has dissolved.

After I pay the bill, I pull Jase into a side hug and linger for a moment. “I’m proud of you for focusin’ on your future. Let me know what time you’re goin’ on Sunday, and I’ll be there.”

He nods. “Thanks, Dad. Will do.”

Jase hugs Noah next and kisses her head. “Thanks for comin’,” he mutters softly as if he hadn’t wanted me to hear.

Noah playfully sucker punches his shoulder. “Anytime, asshole.”

He chuckles. “Yeah, I deserved that.”

I stare at my son and hate that I see a hurt little boy who saw his father walk away when life got too hard for him. All his lashing out and poor attitude was caused by my abandoning him. We're two broken men, which means we both have to put in the effort to fix our relationship. I’m willing to take the steps to help him heal from what I did to him, but he has to put in the work, too. He’s an adult now and can’t use my mistakes as an excuse.

We say our final goodbyes, and when Noah and I walk out into the parking lot, I tell her I’ll follow her since she knows the way.

“You could just ride with me,” she says. “Jase knows we’re both goin’, so it won’t be like we’re hidin’ it.”

“Think that’s a good idea?” I squeeze the back of my neck, not wanting to cross any more lines even though yesterday in the tack room was a weak moment. Kissing her would’ve been a bad idea, but one I can’t stop thinking about.

“Why not? That way, if I do drink too much, you can drive me home. Then we can figure out a way to get your truck back tomorrow.”

“I thought ya weren’t gonna drink that much?”

The corner of her lips curves up in a devious grin. “I reckon I lied.”

Goddammit.

“Let’s go, then.”

The Twisted Bull is everything the name implies. Bright stage lights flicker across the dance floor as people wait in line for the mechanical bull or for alcohol at the bar. The music is loud enough to cause a migraine and has people screaming to speak over it.

I’m in hell.

Noah leads us deeper inside through the sea of people. She changed into cowboy boots before we walked in and dropped a few inches in height, so keeping tabs on her won’t be easy.

“Isn’t it cool?” Noah shouts over her shoulder.

Granted, if I were in my early twenties, I’d love it. I can see the appeal and why they flock here. But if one more person bumps into my shoulder and spills their beer on me, I’m hauling Noah over my shoulder and getting us the fuck out.

When we make it to the bar, her four brothers and Magnolia are sitting with a bartop full of drinks.