Page 55 of Her Wicked Husband (The Huxleys #2)

Fiona

The pungent scent of antiseptic tickles my nose. I sneeze, then wince at the pain radiating all the way down the left side of my face. My shoulders ache, and the skin on my wrists is raw. But other than that, I’m okay.

Better than okay. Smashing my head into Jude’s face was liberating.

Exhilarating, even. It just felt so… right to resist and show him I wasn’t afraid of him.

Not anymore. And he isn’t going to have any blackmail material to manipulate me with.

Did he think I was still the college sophomore afraid of getting un-adopted by Sherry?

I used to think she was the only one who could save me from being alone and unwanted.

But recently, I’ve gradually started to realize that might not be the case.

What I felt for Sherry wasn’t so much gratitude as an overwhelming sense of debt that I needed to be perfect to pay her back.

She doesn’t feel the kind of love a mother should have for her daughter, either. She just sees me as a tool.

I now understand what love is—not just the romantic love I have with Bryce, but familial love. Although Bryce’s brothers haven’t warmed up to me, Akiko makes me feel appreciated just the way I am. Lareina treats me like my own person and wants to hang out together just because .

Aaron and Jude should’ve known that what worked ten years ago when I was young and inexperienced wouldn’t work again. Seeing my husband beat them gave me a kind of calm and satisfaction I haven’t experienced in forever. It felt like well-deserved justice, even though it’s taken so long.

“Fiona. You’re awake now,” Bryce says, his voice trembling. His warm hand cradles mine, which is like an ice block. “You gave me a scare.” He looks at me, his eyes bloodshot, his face unshaven. The hair is messy, like he’s run his hands through it endlessly. I’ve never seen him this haggard.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, my voice raspy.

“You were unconscious for three days.”

“Three days ?” I didn’t even realize I’d fainted. After the cops showed up and arrested Aaron and Jude, and Bryce promised they’d go to prison, exhaustion overwhelmed me. I only closed my eyes to rest briefly during the ride to the hospital.

He buries his face in my hand. “I was so scared I’d lose you.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

His head snaps back up. “Sorry? Are you serious? You should be pissed I was too late.”

“But you weren’t. You crashed into the room like a warrior and saved me, remember?”

His fingers hover over my swollen cheek. “If I’d been in time, you wouldn’t be here.”

“I’ll heal, Bryce.” I wrap my hand around his fingers and kiss the tips. “You saved me from another nightmare.”

“We,” he corrects me. “You did a good job defending yourself. I think you’re the one who broke Jude’s nose.”

Warm satisfaction unfurls through me. “Is it really broken? Good . I was hoping for that.” I put the other hand over my belly.

“And the baby?” I ask, knowing the doctor probably already told Bryce when the hospital examined me in the last three days.

Besides, my pregnancy isn’t something I can hide.

And I don’t want to hide it, even if he says he doesn’t want us pregnant. I’m tired of secrets.

“Healthy. Thank you for protecting our baby,” he says softly, kissing the pulse point on my left wrist .

“ We protected our baby. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

He shudders and tightens his grip.

I run my hand over his hair, finding comfort in the sensation of the soft, warm strands gliding through my fingers. “How did you know where I was?”

Bryce scowls. “Josh put a tracker in your purse when you stopped by to give me cupcakes.”

My jaw drops. Of all the possibilities… “Josh put a tracker on me? Seriously?”

“He was in the office to try to invite us for dinner, but I suspect he wanted us over there so he could put that thing in your purse.”

“But… why ?”

Bryce bites his lip, his eyes flicking away briefly. “He doesn’t trust you. He thinks you’re going to betray me. He thought if he could listen in on what you were doing, he could stop you from hurting me.”

I inhale. Although it isn’t fair of Josh to distrust me, I’ve never explained what happened.

“It’s…understandable. I wasn’t exactly the nicest person.

The way I hurt you…” I close my eyes briefly, reliving the pain.

It was the worst time in my life—even worse than when the first couple who adopted me decided to send me back.

At least in that situation I had no choice in the matter.

With Bryce… I did things that hurt him. I should’ve trusted him not to shut me out because of the videos Jude and Aaron made.

But I was too focused on being perfect, not understanding that I didn’t have to be perfect to be worthy of love.

I sit up gingerly. This isn’t the kind of talk I want to have lying down. “You should know the truth about what happened back in college.” I look at him with remorse and regret. His expression shifts to one of quiet patience and openness as he takes my hand and warms it in his.

“Back then…” I trail off and exhale shakily.

This isn’t easy. He pats my hand, silently communicating I should take my time.

“I went out one night with a few friends and got a little tipsy. I’d driven there, but didn’t feel comfortable driving back.

My other friends were drunk too. I didn’t want to call you because you had dinner with your brothers that night, and I knew it was important to you.

So I asked Aaron to pick me up, and he said okay and brought me some water to help me sober up.

I dr ank it and sort of passed out. I thought he’d drive me home, but when I woke up…

” I put a hand over my mouth, then realize I can’t speak like this.

I fold my legs, pulling them to my chest and hugging them like I’ll be safer this way.

“I was naked…and Jude…Jude was on top of me.”

“Mother fucker .” Bryce’s voice shakes with suppressed rage.

I hold myself tighter, making myself smaller.

“It hurt so much, but the worst part was that he made videos of it. And photos. He threatened to send them to Sherry, and I was so scared of being cast aside.” I press my forehead to a knee as hot tears fill my eyes.

I don’t want Bryce to see them and pity me.

He wraps his arm around my shoulders and holds me comfortingly. “If she’d cast you aside over those photos, she wouldn’t deserve to be your mother,” he says, his voice breaking.

I blink away the tears and lift my head.

His eyes are bloodshot as he gazes at me with heartbreak.

I realize his heart is hurting for the girl I was, and turn my hand in his to thread our fingers together.

“I understand that now, but back then I was too terrified to think clearly. I never told you, but Sherry and Zachary weren’t the first couple to adopt me.

There was another who took me in because they couldn’t have a baby of their own, but as soon as the wife got pregnant, they sent me back.

” His fingers tighten. “So in college, although I was legally old enough to be an adult, emotionally I was still really young and immature. I wasn’t even sure if anybody would believe me if I went to the police.

It’d have been my word against Jude’s, but you remember how it was.

He was popular in college, in addition to being Aaron’s best friend.

And Aaron would have sided with him. He never liked me.

He would’ve loved to show Zachary and Sherry that they’d made a mistake when they adopted me. ”

“You were only nineteen.” Bryce looks shattered.

I cradle his cheek with my free hand. I wish I could spare him this pain.

“I thought I was making the best choice. Jude really hated you. So when you were out studying, he made me take him to your place and staged the entire scene. He actually wanted to have sex with me there, but I told him I was on my period. That grossed him out, but he couldn’t let the chance to hurt you go to waste. So he made me fake it.”

“Son of a bitch. I should’ve murdered him,” Bryce seethes. “Why didn’t you say something?” There’s no accusation in his voice, which only serves to make me want to cry for the lost girl I was and the boy who got hurt by the betrayal.

“I was too scared. At first, I was too ashamed at the possibility that you might see the videos and photos Jude took. Then later, I didn’t think you would be able to get over seeing me with Jude in your bed.

I don’t know if I could have, if the situation had been reversed.

And what if you didn’t love me anymore because I wasn’t the perfect girl you’d thought I was?

” My voice grows hoarse with unshed tears and old pain.

“You said I reminded you of that pretty, cheerful rose you saw, the one that made you forget you were upset. Would you have loved a rose that’d been trampled on? ”

“Yes. It’s my rose. It’s my job to shower it with love and care until it can recover and bloom beautifully again.” His eyes grow damp with tears.

Regret wells up and almost chokes me. “I wish I’d known . I was so desperate to be loved, I didn’t see that what I was doing only made you hate me. I thought you would despise me if you saw the videos and photos.”

“I didn’t give you the confidence.”

I shake my head. “No. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Bryce.

You just happened to fall for a girl with too much insecurity.

” I take a moment to gather myself, so I can finish the story.

“Anyway… I couldn’t see a way out until Jude had that accident.

It nearly killed him, and while he was in the coma, I used his fingerprints to get into his computer and phone and delete everything.

Everything on his hard drive, the phone and in the cloud.

The relief I felt…” I exhale shakily. “It was one of the most liberating moments in my life. I burst into tears. Couldn’t stop crying when I realized I was truly free , and Jude couldn’t control me or hurt me anymore using those videos and photos.

I felt so, so safe. But I also had to leave L.A.

I didn’t trust Aaron anymore. I had no evidence that he was involved, and Jude never mentioned it.

But the more I thought about it, the stranger it seemed that I passed out and woke up with Jude that way.

My gut told me things weren’t adding up. ”

“I’m glad you listened to your instincts.”

“I also selfishly wanted a new start, although that didn’t go as well as planned.

I was too scared to let anybody get close to me.

I never wanted to experience that panic again.

I never wanted to need someone to love me, or to love anybody.

Loving just hurt too much. But in some ways, being away was healing.

I found a therapist who helped me get better.

I meditated, read and thought about all the ways things could’ve been different.

There were anonymous support groups for rape victims, and they helped me realize I was simply a victim and shouldn’t feel ashamed. ”

“I’m sorry. I should’ve been there for you.”

I brush away the tear trickling down his cheek. “Don’t cry, Bryce. It was a long time ago. And I’m okay now. And we found each other again.”

His thumb swipes my cheek, and I realize I’m crying, too. “How can you say that? I was such an asshole—”

I put a finger over his mouth to stop him.

“No. Didn’t you hear what I said? You’re the best thing that’s happened to me.

You saw me for me . You made me realize for the first time that I might be lovable the way I was.

You’re the one I never wanted to disappoint.

I was crazy about you back then, and I’m crazy about you now. ”

“Fiona…”

“I’m telling you I love you. So if you respond by telling me what an asshole you’ve been, I’m going to be heartbroken.”

His chin trembles. “Of course I love you. I love you more than life.”

I spread my arms. “Then hug me.”

He wraps his arms around me carefully. My tears drench his shirt, but I don’t hold back.

I want to let it all out. Bryce doesn’t hide his heartache, either.

As more of his tears soak my neck and shoulder, the old, throbbing pain in my heart seems to lessen until it’s just a dull ache, barely noticeable.

We hold each other for a long time, long enough for our tears to dry.