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“I have a hard time picturing ye as a problem.”

Gabby lifted her head to raise a disbelieving brow. “You had best believe it. Imagine Gus’s anger at the world, except I believed that I needed to protect my brother since his heart is soft.”

“Ye have a soft heart too, whatever yer name is,” he murmured, brushing a kiss across her nose.

“Yes, well, our Uncle Rourke hired a new governess who knew nothing about raising children, which meant that she did not fight us. She worked with us, and I suspect Hunter and I were in love with her even before Uncle Rourke figured out his own heart and married her.” She shrugged.

“ I used to choose a different name each day, in order to settle on one I liked. I eventually chose Gabrielle.”

“Gabrielle,” he repeated in a murmur, with another kiss. “It’s beautiful, just like ye. And yer last name? I’m assuming ye changed it just for this mission?”

“Gabrielle Lindsay,” she answered promptly. “It is far better than Gather Lindsay.”

He frowned. “Better than—what?”

“That was the name my mother gave me when I was born.”

“ Gather ? As in Hunter and Gather ?”

The disgust in his voice was enough to start Gabby chuckling again. “I told you it was truly terrible.”

“It’s horrible ,” Cassian spat, half laughing himself. Shaking his head, he tugged her toward one of the doors leading from the sitting room of his suite. “I’m calling ye Gabby.”

“Good, after all it is my name—oh, this is lovely!”

The bathing room was tiled in white and a blue that matched his eyes. The modern basin and toilet proved Sir Dickie had spared no expense, and the tub… “Oh my,” she whispered.

“Aye,” Cassian drawled as he bent to stopper the drain and turn on the hot water tap. “I believe Sir Dickie anticipated his guests needing room for two. Maybe three.”

Well, that explained why Cassian had insisted they return to his suite for this bath. Eagerly, Gabby reached for the tie to her silk robe as he sat and began to unstrap his prosthetic .

Their bath was warm and leisurely. Yes, there was plenty of caressing and rubbing. She massaged his thigh in the hot water, knowing the muscles in his leg were always tight, and he paid special attention to her breasts.

Sitting with his back against the tub, Cassian pulled her into his lap so he could stretch her out atop him, and gently slid his hand between her thighs.

Gabby opened her mouth to object that he didn’t have any soap, but then his callused fingers slid along her cleft—wet from more than just the bathwater—and her intended words turned into a moan.

Splayed there atop him, buoyed by the water, caressed by his hands and his lips on her shoulder, Gabby came again, the tiles echoing with her cries.

Cassian held her tucked against his chest, occasionally brushing his lips over her hair. She could feel his hardness slowly dissipating, and knew she should offer to help him find release…but was far too sated to do anything about it.

Cassian Grey was surely the most giving lover she could imagine.

Finally, just as the water was beginning to cool, he stirred. “I suspect ye’re right. About it being easier to tell some truths in the darkness.”

Her heartbeat—so languid a moment before—began to pick up speed. He was speaking of the truth he’d begun to tell her before she’d blurted out her lie.

Perhaps she could ease him into it.

“When my uncle gave us this assignment, he chose the name Butcombe because there is a renowned animal Doctor Butchom working in France. Trust me that neither Hunter nor myself wanted to be known as Butt-cum.”

He snorted softly. “So yer brother is nae veterinarian after all? It makes sense. If ye’d arrived at Inverlochy to investigate me, I would’ve sent ye on yer way. But coming as Uncle Dickie’s guests, ye were welcome. And ye had time to…work yer magic.”

Gabby twisted in his arms to stare up at him earnestly, the water lapping at her breasts. “I did not set out to seduce you, Cassian. I would not use you that way.”

His smile was crooked as he leaned down to give her a quick kiss. “Ye’re too honorable. Nay, I seduced ye. I fell for ye without ye even trying, Gabby Lindsay. I meant what I blurted out so inopportunely, ye ken.”

I love ye .

Her smile was honest as she stretched up to kiss him, this time. “I?—”

“Nay, before ye say anything else, let me tell ye my story. Then ye can decide how to answer. If we have a chance at a future together.”

Ah .

The story of his last mission? “Of…of what happened in Belfast??”

He nudged her to turn forward again, and tucked her beneath his chin. When he spoke, she felt the reverberations through her body.

“I told ye I hadnae worked with this team before, but we’d been trained by the same people and worked well together.

Avers was our demolitions man, Rudinsky our insertion specialist. He’d been raised by Prussian parents but his Irish accent was…

” His wry chuckle made her chest shake as well.

“He could pass as a native. And Simonsen…he was a kid. Idealistic, but the best bloody shot I’d ever met.

After a month together, our handlers decided we were ready. ”

Knowing where this was going, Gabby shivered then realized it wasn’t just because of the story. The water was getting cold, and it had to be well past midnight. Rocking forward, she used the edge of the tub to pull herself upright. “You were infiltrating the Fenians?”

“Aye.” Cassian accepted her hand and stood, water sluicing from him as if he were an ancient statue in the center of a fountain, as he balanced carefully. “Here,” he said, offering his hand to help her out of the tub.

Once she stood dripping on the rug, she turned to help him, only to see he’d perched on the edge to swing his good foot around. She grabbed an extra towel and moved to wipe him down.

Cassian snatched it from her. “It’s my job to dry ye , lass. Go get in bed.”

“And miss the chance to help you? Never.”

He rolled his eyes, but she thought he might have been hiding a smirk as he pushed himself to his foot to dry off, balancing his knee on the edge of the tub. “Go fetch me a cane, would ye?”

Wrapping herself in one of the towels, unwilling to soak her robe, Gabby hurried to his room where there were, indeed, a collection of canes strewn about. When she returned, he was just tucking in his own towel…and he raised a brow as he asked for her help .

“If ye wrap yer arm around my middle, I think I can make it to the bed with just the cane.”

Honored that he trusted her so, Gabby did as he suggested, pushing her body against his, tucking her shoulder beneath his arm and taking as much of his weight as she could.

“My upper body strength is the only reason you wanted me in this position?”

As Cassian fell onto the bed, he dropped the cane and kept his hold on her, bringing her with him. “I cannae think of another reason,” he murmured, before rolling to the side to strip the towel from her and tuck her beneath the covers, turning down the lamp.

When he took her in his arms once more, she snuggled closer, hoping the semi-darkness would make it easier for him to share.

“The Fenians have been quiet these last years,” Cassian began again in a low murmur, “but the threat was still there. Luckily the cells arenae well known to one another—secrecy and anonymity are what keep them safe. The plan was that we would pass ourselves off as an anarchist cell and gain the trust of local leaders.”

His fingertips were lazily stroking her spine and she pressed herself against his chest, throwing one leg over his. “Did it work?”

“Aye, eventually. It wasnae easy—suspicious bastards, and they had the right to be. But we claimed to have a dynamite supplier, and they needed us.”

When Cassian sighed his breath ruffled her hair, and she wrapped her arm around his middle hoping she could take some of his pain on herself .

Because it was pain, wasn’t it?

“It took months before they trusted us, but we had the drop set up. They would pass us the money, we would pass them the dynamite. It was rigged to detonate if necessary, but we didnae want to kill the leaders, kill anyone—just identify them. That’s why it was so important to get them to meet with us, so we could see them. ”

Remembering what Bull’s report had said about the aftermath, Gabby closed her eyes. “But it all went wrong, did it not?” she whispered.

He didn’t answer for a long time, then she felt him swallow.

“We were in a brothel. A fancy one, pretentious clientele. The Fenians showed up, bold as brass, showing their faces. Rudinsky was in charge of memorizing their faces so he could sketch them later. We made the trade. After they inspected the dynamite, they handed the money off to Simonsen.”

She felt him shudder, and squeezed him tighter.

“One of them suggested a drink, and I thought it—well, it was a good idea to ingratiate ourselves. I knew Avers wanted out of there, but information was more important. How long had we waited to even meet the bastards… We were sitting there, laughing like we were all auld friends, when…” The bed shivered as he shook his head.

“A man came out of one of the rooms, drunk, two half-dressed women on his arms. They were clearly in the middle of…ah.”

“I know what you mean,” she murmured dryly .

“I recognized him,” he whispered. “So did Rudinsky—I remember the way he looked at me, panicked, asking what we were supposed to do. I hadnae planned to do anything , except three of the Fenians leaders recognized him too.”

Recognized him ?

This man was someone important—someone important to England .

“Two of them yelled his name, and he threw the women off and started to run, panicked. One yelled something like, he’ll be worth our independence , like they were going to hold the man hostage, and I remember Avers cursing as he worked it out.

” Cassian took a deep breath. “When the Fenians began shooting…Avers was the one to fire right back.”

“And you?” Gabby whispered, her stomach clenched in fear.

“Rudinsky and Avers went after the—after him . I saw Rudinsky take a bullet in the chest. Avers got to the man, got him covered, but…” His breathing was shuddering. “The dynamite went off, and Simonsen was just—just gone. Along with my leg…and the money, I guess. I think I passed out.”

Unable to remain unmoved by his pain, Gabby pushed herself up to her elbow. Cassian’s eyes were closed, his muscles tight. “It was not your fault, Cassian.”

“When I woke up in the hospital, I didnae ken where I was. The doctor told me there’d been an accident, and the others were dead.”

“ It was not your fault, Cassian ,” she repeated, more firmly .

He took another shuddering breath. “Logically, I ken that.”

She pressed her hand to his chest, feeling his heart beating frantically beneath her palm. “But you do not believe it, not here .”

Cassian didn’t respond to her statement, but continued his story.

“The day after I woke, the—the meddling arsehole who caused so much pain was there at my bedside. He said I was the one to yell him out the door, but I dinnae remember any of it. He said Avers died in the blast, protecting him, and then the brothel went up in flames, and none of the Fenians made it out.”

Gabby’s gaze skimmed his face. She was beginning to have an idea of who this man could be, the one who’d inadvertently caused so much harm. Or at least, his position in relation to the country… “And what did he say next, this mystery man?”

Cassian was quiet long enough that she thought he wouldn’t answer her.

Then his eyes opened, and they burned in the darkness.

“He told me I was a jolly good chap for saving his life, but I wasnae allowed to mention to anyone that he’d been there.

It…if it became public knowledge he was there, it could have severe negative repercussions for…

” He took a deep breath. “The royal family.”

Oh no .

“He is a member of the royal family?”

Cassian didn’t answer her. “He told me it would be difficult, but I could not include his involvement in my official report. ”

“His involvement—his very presence which led to the failure of your mission and the deaths of your men.”

“Aye,” Cassian rasped, his eyes closing on the pain once more.

She reached out to cup his cheek. “ It was not your fault .” She would repeat the words, tattoo them on her forehead, until he believed her. “You have not forgiven this man, have you?”

He gave the tiniest of head shakes.

“And you have not forgiven yourself either,” she sighed. Well, she had the rest of their lives to see how to make him forgive himself.

Because she was realizing, here and now, that not only did she want a future with Cassian Grey, she could make it happen .

Or rather, Bull could.

“Before we get to the forgiveness, Cassian, there is something else that must be done.” He pressed his cheek against her palm, and Gabby smiled sadly.

“They were not just your men, were they?” she murmured.

“They were your friends . Rudinsky, Avers, Simonsen. Their deaths are not your fault, but have you mourned them?”

His brows furrowed, but he didn’t open his eyes. She leaned forward to kiss that little spot at the top of his nose. Oh this man.

“You spent a long time in the hospital, and I know you were not able to give your superiors at the Secret Service sufficient answers—that is why I am here. You came to Inverlochy Castle with this weight hanging over you, all while trying to build a future for your son, a future to protect him…just in case yours was taken from you.”

She thought the little twitch of his jaw might have been an agreement. But his whole body was so stiff, so tight, she doubted he even realized it.

“But Cassian,” she whispered. “Have you mourned ? Mourned your friends’ deaths?”

He didn’t respond, not for a million heartbeats.

Then…a deep breath that turned into a sob.

Then another.

His eyes didn’t open, but Gabby’s thumb caught the tears which leaked from the corner of his eyes before they could drip into his hair.

With a little noise of approval, she rolled to the side and took him with her. Tucking him up against her, she held the man she loved close as he buried his face in her shoulder and cried silently.

It was her turn to stroke his back, to whisper words of love and affirmation.

And silently, vow to fix this.

Tomorrow she had a letter to write to Bull—because he could fix this.

Cassian might have been sworn to secrecy about his friends’ deaths and the mission, but there was one person to whom he would tell the truth.

He would have to.