Page 14
Cassian forced himself to still, to listen .
Treat it as a mission. A mission to learn what these two actually think of ye.
“Gus?” she prompted.
“He…” The lad shook his head and looked away. “He wants me to move away from here. He wants to build a house for just the two of us. Nae animals.”
“Ah,” Gabby murmured, turning back to the llama. “And you are, obviously, quite happy here. Can you guess why your father has made that choice? Because I am certain it is not because he wants you to be miserable.”
The lad’s slim shoulders hunched again. “I think…he doesn’t belong here. He doesn’t want to belong. Inverlochy is Uncle Dickie’s, and Aunt Zilphia’s, and my father doesn’t have a place like that. So he wants to build a place. ”
“But you think your place is here, hmm?” Gabby stroked the llama. “Do you have a nickname for him?”
“He’s just Jerry.”
Her laughter returned. “No, not the llama; I meant your father. Do you have something special you call him?”
“Like what?”
She didn’t look at Cassian’s son as she hummed. “He calls you Gus. Do you call him Da ?”
No, he doesnae.
Swallowing, Cassian reached out to flatten his palm against the pinewood wall, not realizing until that moment how desperately he wished to hear Gus call him that.
Gabby propped her elbow on the top rail and turned to study the lad. “You know, Hunter and I are twins.”
“You are?”
She nodded. “Our father sent us off to school when we were very young, and when he died, our uncle took us in, like your Uncle Dickie did for you. When he married Aunt Sophia, she taught us how to become a family.”
Was this the uncle Hunter had mentioned earlier? Frowning, Cassian peered at her, looking for a hint.
Gus wasn’t looking at her, very deliberately. “Did your father send you away because he didn’t want you?”
That’s what he had accused Cassian of—not loving him. Cassian found himself holding his breath again.
Gabby, however, took her time answering. She stared up at the ceiling, clearly deliberating her words, until the llama headbutted her. With a chuckle, she began to scratch again.
“My father…he was not the sort of person who wanted—or was supposed to be—a father. I have no memories of him. He was not married to our mother, you see, and when she gave us up, our father did not know what to do with us.”
She and her veterinarian brother were illegitimate ? How had Hunter acquired such excellent schooling? How had she learned the speech and language and bearing of a lady?
Well, why no’? Ye can sound like a perfect gentleman , after all .
Aye, well, Cassian could sound like anyone he needed to. It was all part of the job.
Gus had understood her confession, apparently.
His eyes lit up, and the words came tumbling out in perhaps the longest speech Cassian had ever heard him make.
“You’re a bastard too? My father is a bastard—his father was the Earl of Litewood, I heard Uncle Dickie and Aunt Zilphia talking about it.
His mama was a vicar’s daughter and he says he was raised by his grandfather who was very strict.
My uncle and aunt say they are very proud of the man my father has become, in spite of his childhood. ”
Cassian wasn’t comfortable with his son sharing the secrets of his past, but Gabby didn’t react.
If anything, she just nodded as she continued to scratch the animal.
“We both had opportunities granted to us by powerful men.” She glanced at the lad.
“My Uncle Rourke and Aunt Sophia raised Hunter and me before they had their own children. They were the ones to recognize how much I love animals. My uncle was the one to ensure I had the opportunity to study the veterinary sciences. ”
“Alongside your brother?” Gus asked. When Gabby hummed distractedly, he pressed, “You wanted to be a veterinarian, like Hunter?”
To Cassian’s surprise, Gabby’s response was a wry chuckle. She smiled down at Gus. “I am smarter, though.”
It wasn’t a denial. Or an agreement. And there was no pride there; just a calm certainty.
Shyly, Gus reached out to pet the llama as well, his gaze warm as he looked at the woman beside him. “I think you’re a very good veterinarian, Gabby.”
She turned her head away, and when she answered, her voice sounded choked. “Thank you, Gus. That…that means quite a lot to me.”
After a moment, during which Jerry The Possibly Homosexual Llama switched his attention to Gus, and the lad moved his hand to where Gabby pointed out every animal enjoyed scratches, Gus cleared his throat.
“I think I would like to be a veterinarian, like your brother, one day.”
“I think you would be very good at it.”
Cassian stared.
Those two lines, so simple, were more than Gus had ever admitted to him, more than Cassian had ever been allowed to say.
If Gus had said that, would ye have listened? Would ye have accepted it?
Of course he would have! Cassian might not have much to say about animals, but it was a fine aspiration—and he could see how much Gus enjoyed working with them. If his son wanted to study veterinary sciences, Cassian would make it happen.
Even if he had to make it happen from prison.
“Do you think, if my father knew how much I loved working with Uncle Dickie’s menagerie, he’d let me stay here at Inverlochy?”
Cassian’s eyes closed, unable to ignore the yearning in his son’s voice. His head thunked back against the pine wood behind him. How could he take Gus from here? Sir Richard had offered him a place, warmth, comfort, joy, a real home…could that be permanent?
Sooner or later, ye’re going to have to answer to yer superiors. Explain how three men died. If they find ye guilty and drag ye off, at least ye’ll ken Gus is safe here at Inverlochy. At least ye’ll ken he has a future .
But…what if Cassian wasn’t found guilty? What if he was also allowed to have a future? He couldn’t stay here at Inverlochy, this wasn’t his home. And the thought of asking Gus to give up his home would cause too much pain.
In his mind, Cassian ripped up the designs for the cottage he might one day build for his son.
If Sir Richard was willing to provide a home for Gus—the way Gabby’s aunt and uncle had provided for her, the way the Earl of Litewood had albeit begrudgingly provided schooling and introductions into Society for his bastard son…
Well, Cassian would be a selfish arsehole to ask him to give that up.
Am I an arsehole ?
Across the barn, the conversation had continued, and Cassian struggled to listen, when inside he was reeling.
“What do you think your father wants? Will he go back to work?” Gabby was asking.
“I think he wants to. I think he wants to be away from me.” Christ, that wasnae true . “He doesn’t like to talk about his job, and he seems…he seems…”
“How does he seem?”
Cassian opened his eyes to see Gabby place her arm comfortingly around his son’s shoulders, urging him to speak. Silently, Cassian did his best to urge his son not to speak of this.
“He seems scared,” Gus admitted. Fook . “Like he’s hiding, and he doesn’t think he can hide forever.”
The breath Gabby sucked in matched Cassian’s, and unfortunately, she heard him.
Those midnight-blue eyes found his across the barn, piercing him unerringly. She swallowed, straightening, and hugged Gus once more.
“I think, Gus, that your father cares for you.” Her eyes blazed in challenge. “I think he wants what’s best for you. I think, if you told him you wanted to be a veterinarian and stay here to work with your Uncle Dickie’s menagerie, he would allow that.”
Her chin rose, as if daring Cassian to contradict her.
Slowly, deliberately, he dropped his chin into a nod while holding her gaze, and he saw her shoulders slump in relief .
Relief that she’d guessed correctly? Or relief that he wasn’t a complete selfish bastard? Or was it just that this bold, witty woman had come to care for this son of his, and wanted wee Gus to be happy?
“You really think so?” Gus asked hopefully, his face tipped up to hers.
She smiled down at him, squeezing him once more. “I know so.”
Table of Contents
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- Page 13
- Page 14 (Reading here)
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