Page 28 of Her Scandalous Rake (The Worthington Legacy #8)

T ristan stared at the door for the longest time, praying it would miraculously open and Diana would rush back into the room and ask for forgiveness. She would tell him how much she loved him—much more than the devotion she had toward her maid—and that she would assist him in any way she could to put Tabitha in prison where the murderous woman belonged.

But his prayer went unheard. The longer he watched the door waiting for Diana to return, the more his heart ripped apart piece by piece and became heavy with sadness. Clearly, Diana did not love him as much as he had wanted her to, as much as he loved her.

Tears burned his eyes, but he refused to shed them. Anger was the emotion governing him as it forced him to march across the floor in haste, yank open the door, and leave. His wide strides ate up the floor as he hurried to the stairs and took two at a time on his way to the bedroom.

Inside the room he paced like a caged animal. Bunching his hands at his side, his thoughts tumbled with confusion and betrayal. This was the second time in his life he had allowed this woman to upset him so, enough he almost couldn’t bear the pain. His chest weighed heavily with despondency and he scarcely could breathe.

He found himself at the window staring out into the night’s storm, but he didn’t know how he got there. Nevertheless, he didn’t want to move. His mind didn’t want to think and his body stood stiff as a board. He wished his heart could remain as still and unaffected as the rest of him.

The bedroom door opened and strong footsteps walked in. Tristan didn’t need to look behind him to see who it was.

“Worthington, what in the blazes just happened?”

It took Tristan a few moments to gather enough strength to talk. He didn’t want his voice to choke and prove his vulnerability right now. “My hopes and dreams have been shattered, Hawthorne, that’s what happened. Diana doesn’t love me enough to turn her maid over to the magistrate. And because I wouldn’t change my mind, Diana yelled at me to leave. Tonight.”

Nic groaned and moved closer. “She cannot be thinking clearly. We would catch our deaths riding in this storm.”

“I know.”

“Did you tell her that?”

“No. There was hardly time.” Tristan leaned his forehead against the glass. “Once she ordered us out of this house, she rushed out of the room and slammed the door.”

“Then I shall go speak with her, because sending us out into this storm in highly improper and not cordial at all.”

“We will stay in the stable with our horses. I’ve spent many of nights in the stable, and I’m still alive to talk about it.” He glanced over his shoulder at Nic who stood with stiff legs and his arms folded across his chest as he scowled. “We will take some blankets to keep warm.”

“I still cannot believe Lady Hollingsworth would even think of sending two gentlemen, such as ourselves, out—”

“Hawthorne, we shall be fine, I assure you.”

Nic grumbled. “Tabitha must have some kind of hold over Lady Hollingsworth’s mind to have a lady act in such a way.”

“I know not, and right now, I care not.” Tristan walked to the chair where his coat hung and shrugged into it. “Come, Hawthorne. It is time we take our leave.”

“Did you say everything to Diana that you had wanted?”

“Yes, I believe so.” He paused, trying to think of more to say since it seemed a struggle to do that now. “I thank you for keeping Tabitha occupied. I’m quite certain that was an unbearable task.”

“Uh, indeed it was.” Nic dropped his gaze as he slipped his arms into his coat.

Tristan grabbed the woolen blanket that he’d been wrapped in earlier while he dried. “This should be enough to keep us warm. Grab yourself a blanket, Hawthorne then let us leave this cottage for good.” He turned toward the door. “I, for one, cannot wait to get back to speak to the magistrate about our suspect. I’m certain Sir Felix is intelligent enough to know when to make an arrest.”

“I truly hope so.” Nic took his blanket and folded it before heading toward the door.

Tristan nodded to his friend. “Hawthorne, I thank you for all you have done. You are truly a good friend. You have always been the one person my family has been able to count on for anything.”

Nic smiled. “I appreciate your kind words. I have always felt part of your family—almost like one of your brothers.”

Tristan took a deep breath and opened the door. The corridor was empty. Even the house seemed abnormally quiet. “Let us take our leave now and never look back. We did what we came here to do.” Unfortunately, saying goodbye to his love for Diana wasn’t part of that plan.

*

Tears streamed down Diana’s face as she rocked back and forth on her bed, clutching a pillow to her chest. Tristan’s accusations rang through her head and were permanently branded in her memory. Never would she forget the look on his face or his accusing words.

It had taken her a few moments after Tristan had blurted out his most disturbing thoughts before she found the courage to pick up her shattered heart and tell him to leave. Immediately.

He’d tried to talk some sense into her by grasping her arms and pulling her against his chest. He even had the nerve to kiss her, but she fought him and in the end, he withdrew. She was relieved to know he was the kind of man who didn’t use force—not like Ludlow had.

As she had marched toward the door, his final words echoed in her ears. Diana, know this now. I will not rest until Tabitha is in prison. That is the only way we can be together.

Squeezing her eyes closed, Diana sobbed harder. Why had he hinted they would be together? Hadn’t he realized he threatened to have an innocent woman arrested for a crime she didn’t commit? Diana and Tristan definitely could never be together now that he had broken the trust between them.

Fast footsteps coming up the corridor made Diana look toward the door. Tabitha opened the bedroom door and hurried inside. Her face was flushed, and her eyes were wide.

“My lady, what happened?” She ran to the bed and wrapped her arms around Diana.

More sobs escaped her throat as she buried her head against Tabitha’s shoulder. Tremors shook her body, and she couldn’t control them. Her world was falling apart. Again. And once again, Tristan was the center of her turmoil.

Was loving him worth this much agony?

“Oh, Tabitha,” she said in a shaky voice, “the worst thing has happened. I cannot trust Tristan any longer, and he definitely does not deserve my love.”

Tabitha’s gentle hand stroked Diana’s head. “Tell me what happened.”

It took her a few minutes to collect her strength to pull away, and when she did, she looked into her friend’s worried eyes. “Lord Tristan and Lord Hawthorne think you killed my husband and Lord Elliot.” She sniffed. “When I defended you and told him there was no possible way you could have done the deed, Tristan wouldn’t believe me. Can you believe he would do such a thing?” She wiped the moisture from underneath her eyes, but the tears kept falling in buckets. “I thought he loved me. I thought we would be happy together. Forever.”

“Is that why you ordered him to leave immediately?”

“You heard that?”

Tabitha blinked and nodded. “I think everyone in the house heard, my lady.”

“When I couldn’t sway Tristan from thinking you were the one responsible for killing those despicable blackguards, I ordered him and Lord Hawthorne out of the house. I know the storm is still going full force around us, but right now I don’t care. I don’t want to see his untrusting face or hear his uncaring voice again.”

Tears collected in Tabitha’s eyes and her frown grew deeper. “ Both of them thought I had killed those men?”

“Yes.”

“But w—why?” Tabitha’s voice broke.

“They had overheard us talking in the kitchen before dinner, and they thought the worst.”

Tabitha bit her bottom lip as a tear slid down her cheek. “How could he think that I… um, I mean how could they think such a thing?”

“That’s what hurts so badly. I don’t know how they could believe that. And what makes things worse, I cannot change Tristan’s mind. He’s a determined man.”

“I thank you for trying to defend me,” Tabitha said in a choked voice.

“Of course I defended you. Tabitha, I know you did not do the crime. Unfortunately, Tristan feels having you arrested and locked in prison is the only way for him and me to finally be together.” Closing her eyes, she shook her head. “But I cannot possibly love a man who doesn’t trust my word.”

“How can you not love him, my lady? He’s been in your heart for years.”

Diana wiped her eyes again and met her maid’s gaze. “I’m going to have to bury my feelings for him. It’s impossible for me to make it through life this miserable.”

Tabitha was silent for the longest time as more tears fell down her face. She swallowed hard and nodded. “I do understand, but I shall make it so you don’t have to be unhappy. I shall make it so that you and Lord Tristan are happy together as it should be.”

“What do you mean?”

Taking a deep breath, Tabitha straightened and lifted her chin. “I will turn myself in for killing Lord Hollingsworth and Lord Elliot.”

*

After Tabitha had said the words, ice-cold fear sliced through her. The magistrate would certainly take her word, arrest her and lock her away in the Newgate prison without a second thought. Or perhaps Sir Felix would decide prison was too good for her and have her hanged instead. It wouldn’t matter if Lord Hollingsworth and Lord Elliot were vile, scoundrels who had deserved to die. Because they were gentlemen, that quality alone would protect them in England’s eyes.

Diana gasped and clutched Tabitha’s hands. “What are you saying?” She shook her head. “No! I will not allow you to do such a thing. You are innocent!”

Another tear slid from Tabitha’s eye as she studied the panic etched on her friend’s face. “I might not have stabbed them, my lady, but in my heart and mind I have killed those men—as well as others like them.”

“That is not the same and you know it.” Diana’s lips trembled as if she tried to hold back a sob. “If you turn yourself in, the real killer goes free to murder others, and that is not justice at all!”

“But my lady, how else will you and Lord Tristan ever be together? It’s like you said…until I’m arrested, you and Lord Tristan cannot show your love in public. Nobody can know or they will accuse you of the murders.”

Diana wiped her eyes. “There is no love now, Tabitha. Even when the killer is arrested and Tristan sees how wrong he was for blaming you and tries to come back to apologize, I cannot forgive him. He did not trust me and that is something I’ll never forget.” She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “So I will have no more talk of you turning yourself in to the magistrate. Is that clear?”

Nodding, Tabitha glanced down at her lap, surprised she didn’t see her broken heart lying on her lap. It crushed her—nearly suffocated her, in fact—to hear that Lord Hawthorne had thought she was the killer, when only a few moments ago she’d been wrapped in his arms enjoying his heated kiss. How could a man kiss a woman so passionately if he thought she was a killer? Surely, there must be an ounce of kindness in that man for him to have such emotion. Yet now she knew it was all an act. Just as she’d suspected before, all he wanted was to seduce her and she couldn’t believe she fell for his trickery!

For a brief moment, she’d actually thought there might be a chance that the illegitimate daughter of a nobleman could fall in love with a lord and have him love her in return. Curse Lord Hawthorne for making her so vulnerable! Curse him for making her remember things like that were just fairytales and would never happen in her life.

Ever!

She swallowed the knot in her throat that was due to either anger or sadness, she wasn’t sure which right now, and looked back at Diana. “You have always been so kind to me. You have put your life and reputation on the line for Sally and me, and turning myself in would be a way to repay you for your kindness.”

Diana shook her head. “Not if you’re innocent. That proves nothing. Besides, I need you now more than ever. Because I will die a lonely old woman, I shall need your companionship.”

Tabitha tried to smile, but her quivering lips were making it hard. “We shall die together lonely old women because I shall never find happiness, either.”

“I doubt that, Tabitha. You are a lovely young lady and you shall find a man who will cherish you and treat you like a queen.”

Tabitha blurted out a laugh. “You are very humorous, my lady. A queen maybe not, but I’ll be happy if a man treated me with respect. That’s all I want.”

“One day it will happen.” Diana smiled.

They stared at each other for a few more seconds before a frown claimed Diana’s face once again. She moved off the bed and walked to the window. Rain pelted the glass and still sounded fierce as the wind howled through the trees.

“As much as I hate doing this, I think I need to stop Tristan and Lord Hawthorne from traveling in this weather. I’d rather not speak with him, but I must let Tristan know that he and Hawthorne can stay here the night and leave as soon as the storm passes.”

Anger filled Tabitha stronger this time when Lord Hawthorne’s name was mentioned. How she wanted nothing more than to claw his face off… or spit on him, or… cry. Instantly, she shook that last thought from her head. No! She would not cry any longer. She’d known what kind of man he was when she first met him, so it was her own fault for falling for his trickery. Yet now she wanted to get back at him for some reason.

But how?

“My lady, let me go do it.” She snapped her mouth close quickly. Why in the devil did she say that?

Diana turned and looked at her. “Really? You don’t mind?”

She really did, but it was the least she could do for her mistress. “I’m your maid, so I shall do even the most loathsome task you give me, even if it means telling Lord Tristan and Lord Hawthorne they can stay the night. But keep in mind I might make their stay very uncomfortable because of my hatred for them.”

Diana smiled again even if tears filled her eyes. “Perhaps you should not, Tabitha. After all, they are convinced you killed those men. Perhaps I should have Sally do it.”

Tabitha nodded. “I think maybe you are correct. I will go fetch Sally for you.”

“Thank you, Tabitha.”

As Tabitha left the room, irritation grew inside her, higher and higher from her gut until it burned her throat. Diana was right. Tabitha shouldn’t go tell the men for fear they’d want to take her to the magistrate themselves. However, if Tabitha didn’t say something to Lord Hawthorne the malice collecting inside her might explode and kill her.

She couldn’t let that happen.

Quietly as she could, she crept to the guest bedroom and pressed her ear against the door. The room was too quiet, so she knocked softly. Still quiet.

Perhaps the men had left after all. Yet, as much as she believed them to be fools, they weren’t stupid enough to travel in this kind of storm.

On her way down the stairs, she listened for men’s voices, but all she could hear was the raging storm outside. When she reached the lower floor, she grabbed her cloak and shrugged it on, heading for the back door.

Before stepping outside, she gathered the cloak’s hood tight around her head and then dashed out into the rain. Immediately, the light from the stable caught her attention. Since Diana didn’t have a groom, there could be only one explanation for someone being in with the horses.

She ran to the stable and peered in the window. Lord Hawthorne and Lord Tristan were arranging the hay to make themselves beds. Both men wore frowns on their gloomy faces, but neither of their expressions was angry. In fact, if she were to put a name to it, she would think they were melancholy. Could she dare hope that they were both re-evaluating their accusations?

Rolling her eyes, she moved away from the window. Not likely! They were probably just sad because they were kicked out of a house with a warm fire to sleep in a cold stable. Well, it served them right!

She turned and hurried back to the house. As much as she wanted to lash out verbally at Lord Hawthorne, she didn’t want Lord Tristan to be present. So, she either had to wait until he fell asleep or hold her tongue and never voice her thoughts to that irritating man again.

Unfortunately, Tabitha was never the kind of person who could hold her tongue for very long.