Page 17 of Her Scandalous Rake (The Worthington Legacy #8)

T he statement boomed through the room like a canon blast. Tristan sprang do this feet, knocking over the chair he’d just been sitting on. His cousin—Elliot? No, it couldn’t be!

Gasps ricocheted off the walls. Tabitha slapped a hand over her mouth and Diana’s face lost all color. She’d swoon any moment, he just knew it.

Taking long strides, he hurried to her side and touched her elbow. “Diana, I think you need to sit.”

Staring at the wall, she shook her head. “I’ll be all right.”

“Lord Tristan is correct, dear,” Claudia said. “You don’t look well at all. Your face is white.”

“No, I’m fine, really I am. It’s such a shock to hear…” She took a deep breath. “Oh, dear.”

Tristan didn’t wait for Diana to ask for his help. He slipped an arm around her waist and led her back to the table. She followed without hesitation, leaning on him for support.

He switched his attention between the three ladies. Each one looked as desolate as the other. The news was devastating, and Tristan could hardly grasp the concept. He’d never approved of some of the things Elliot did in his life. The man was too wild.

Curiosity niggled at Tristan as he studied each of the ladies in the room, and he wondered how they all knew Elliot—enough to have the news of his demise affect them in such a way.

“Lady Dashwood,” he asked. “What exactly did you hear?”

“Oh, it was just awful,” she began as she took a seat next to Diana. “My cook had gone into town for supplies and heard the rumors. Apparently, Lord Elliot was found in the stable without a stitch of clothes with stab wounds all over his body.” She squeezed Diana’s trembling hand. “Just as you had found your husband.”

Tristan nodded. Clearly the person who had killed Hollingsworth had taken Elliot’s life as well. Another similarity between the two dead men where that they were both womanizers and loved to gamble.

“This cannot be good,” Diana whispered. “People already suspect me of killing Ludlow. Now they are going to believe I killed Lord Elliot.”

Inwardly, Tristan groaned. He’d almost forgotten that she was under suspicion for Hollingsworth’s death just as Tristan was. A nagging thought pounded in his head. Would they suspect him of Lord Elliot’s death as well? The only dealings he had with his cousin had been that they’d played cards on a few occasions. In fact, three nights ago, they’d had a futile argument during a game, but they were both drunk and hot tempered. Both of them were asked to leave the game. Tristan’s friend, Lord Hawthorne, was given the privilege of escorting Tristan home that night.

Tabitha’s grumble pulled him out of his thoughts. She stood, her hands bunched into fists, her lips tight in irritation. Her blue eyes blazed with fury.

“Well forgive me for not holding my tongue, but men like Lord Elliot don’t deserve to live.”

Both Lady Dashwood and Diana gasped. “Tabitha, really!” Diana scolded. “You should not speak ill of the dead.”

“I meant every word,” Tabitha countered. The hatred in her eyes made them even darker. “All that man ever did was drink, gamble, and beat his servants. The world is a better place with him gone.”

Although Tristan agreed with the maid, he couldn’t help but wonder how she knew this about his cousin. He narrowed his gaze on her. The only way she would have known that about the man was if she’d been a servant in his home. So if she was the man’s servant, what was she doing with Diana?

“Not to worry, my lady,” Tabitha said as she stood behind Diana and rested her hand on her shoulder. “I will tell the authorities you were here the whole night.” She glanced at Tristan. “He could even back up my story.”

“I thank you, Tabitha,” Diana said. “But neither of you know for certain that I was here all night since we all slept in different rooms.”

“Diana, there is no reason the magistrate will suspect you.” Lady Dashwood shook her head.

“Why can I not fully believe that?” Diana arched her eyebrow and glanced at Tabitha before moving her focus back to Claudia.

The other two women hung their head. Tristan found it strange that nobody answered Diana’s question or at least tried to convince her otherwise. For certain, something was going on here that they didn’t want him to know about. Curiosity got the better of him, yet he didn’t dare voice his thoughts. He’d wait until he could get Diana alone and talk this out with her—and only her.

A small groan of despair came from Diana as she rubbed her forehead. “Let’s pray that I’m not a suspect. I fear I wouldn’t know how to talk my way out of this one.” She looked up at Lady Dashwood. “I’m grateful you came here to let me know.”

The lovely blonde woman nodded. “You were the first person I thought to tell when I heard the news.”

“Please, return to your house and please keep me informed on anything else in regards to Lord Elliot.”

“Indeed, I shall.” Claudia met Tristan’s eyes and nodded. “Lord Tristan, it was a pleasure to see you again. I hope all is well with your family, and your mother.”

“The last time I checked they were doing splendidly.” But the last time he saw them was the day before the wedding. It surprised him that Diana’s friend didn’t question him about his disappearance yesterday morning at the church. Obviously, she had known what Tabitha and Diana were up to the whole time.

“I shall take my leave now.” Lady Dashwood stood. “I’ll pay you a visit tomorrow.”

Diana took a deep breath and met her friend’s eyes. “I look forward to it.”

Nothing was said after Claudia left. Tabitha cleared up the dishes and continued to clean the kitchen. Tristan stood. Diana’s gaze followed him.

“Diana, would you join me in the sitting room? I believe the sofa would be much more comfortable to sit on than these chairs.”

“You are correct.” She stood. “I suppose we can have that much needed talk about our past now.”

*

Diana’s legs shook as she walked into the other room. Between the lack of sleep and the shocking news, her body—and emotions—were a mess right now. A headache throbbed, but she couldn’t let that stall her talk with Tristan.

She sat, and he scooted himself on the sofa right next to her. In a way, she wished he had chosen a different chair. Being this close to him played havoc with her emotions, and especially the feelings she thought had been put to rest.

He reached over and caressed the ringlet by her ear. “You still have no color in your face.”

“Yes, well… when receiving such news that another man was killed the exact same way as Ludlow, it’s no wonder I’m rattled.”

“Very true.”

She fidgeted on the sofa, uncomfortable with the awkward silence. “So Tristan, yesterday you had mentioned remembering something.”

“I did.”

“Will you please tell me what it was?”

“Remarkably enough, it was what happened the night before the duel.”

“The night before? Pray, what could have happened that night?”

He arched an eyebrow. “I believe I already know the answer, but I need to ask you nonetheless… Did you send me a letter to meet you at Henry’s Cliffs the night before?”

She creased her brow and shook her head. “Of course not. My parents had me heavily guarded for fear I was going to sneak out and meet you someplace so we could run away to Gretna Green.”

“Just as I expected.”

“Why, Tristan? What happened?”

“I had received a letter with your name on it. In the letter you stated that you wanted me to meet you at the glade. When Trey and I arrived and didn’t see you, we felt that it had been a trap. We were correct.”

Surprise flooded through her. “Hollingsworth met you the night before?”

“Yes. He was a coward and didn’t want to meet me for the duel and have the crowd watch him die.” He reached his hand over his shoulder and brushed his fingers across a section on his back. “Last night I had remembered exactly what happened at those cliffs, but it wasn’t the bullet that had pushed me over as I had originally thought.”

She furrowed her brow. “Did you… jump?”

He hitched a breath and stared at her with wide eyes. “Jumped? Are you jesting? You thought I had jumped off the cliff?”

She shrugged. “Well, there were so many rumors going around, I didn’t know which ones to believe.”

He studied her through hooded eyes, scratching his chin. “Will you tell me what Hollingsworth told you had happened?”

She sighed heavily. “He didn’t say much. He rarely ever did, but when he showed up the next morning at the house and said you were a coward and didn’t come to the duel, I feared the worst. But many people had gone to the cliffs that morning and they all had the same story—that you were not there.” She swallowed hard. “Other rumors started spreading a week or so after it had all happened about you going to the cliffs before anyone else had gotten there to try and talk Ludlow out of the duel. When he wouldn’t relent, you had tried to shoot him, but missed. When he got his weapon out, you fled and jumped over the cliffs.”

Tristan cursed under his breath. “And you believed him?”

The tone of his voice accused her of something she should have known already. Before marrying Ludlow, all she knew about him was that he was a domineering man who took advantage of people—her father being one of them. After she married Ludlow she learned quickly enough that he was a deceiver. He’d hinted about her family having some deep dark secret, and all he was talking about was that her father had gambled away her dowry and left the family in financial ruins.

“It wasn’t just him that told me, and I didn’t want to believe, but others were there and could see you had not shown up for the duel. Then when you were found alive, Ludlow tried to convince me that you had faked your death because you owed him money. By that time, I was so confused about everything.” She choked back a sob. “If only your brother had said something to me—or anyone—I would have believed. But he said nothing.”

He huffed and leaned forward, loosening his cravat. “I want to show you something.”

She held her breath. Why was he undressing?

Once he’d removed his cravat, he lifted his shirt over his head, and turned his back toward her. “Do you see that large scar on my shoulder?”

The scar was still puckered and slightly red. Reaching out to touch it, she stopped herself before her fingers could make contact. “Yes.”

“This is where your husband shot me .” He turned back to her and pulled the shirt back over his head.

She frowned, chiding herself for even believing that story in the first place. Yet, there was a part of her that hadn’t believed at all. She’d just been waiting for Trey to tell her what really happened. “I’m sorry, Tristan,” she whispered.

“What other rumors were going around?”

“Some say you jumped off the cliff while Ludlow was aiming to shoot you again.” She shrugged. “There were even rumors that Ludlow and his second weren’t even there—that you and your brother had been traveling abroad and came upon bandits that were being chased by the local military regiment and you were caught in the crossfire. They said you were close to the cliffs and when the bullet hit you, that’s when you fell over the edge.”

“I like that story better.” He shook his head. “Nevertheless, Lord Hollingsworth and his second were the ones hiding within the shadows of the trees the night I received the letter. Trey had told me he didn’t feel right about things, and urged me to get back on my horse. Just as I had turned to do that very thing, Lord Hollingsworth shot me. I couldn’t even return a shot because I had no weapon on me at the time. Then we fought, and I fell over the cliff.”

Tears burned her eyes and she blinked to keep from crying. “Forgive me for thinking you jumped or that you were a coward and didn’t show.” Without wanting it to, a tear slipped down her cheek. “I didn’t want to believe that about you. I hadn’t known you for very long, but the kind of man I’d come to know during that short time wasn’t the kind of man who would jump—or run away.” She cleared her throat when it began to crack. “Ludlow had also tried to convince me that you were a rogue just like your younger brother. Ludlow told me the only reason you were so determined to win me was because, because…” She took a deep breath, trying to steady her emotions.

“Because?” he asked softly as he brushed his thumb on her cheek, removing a few more tears that had slipped free.

“Because you wanted to bed me. You were not used to giving up on a woman until after you had claimed your prize.”

His jaw hardened. After a few moments of awkward silence, he exhaled slowly and withdrew his touch. “Why did you believe him?”

“I didn’t believe him, but over the next couple of weeks the servants talked of this as well. People in town were also discussing your rakish behavior, especially because you had singled me out at your mother’s party.” She took a breath and continued, “After a while, I just finally accepted it as the truth. If only Trey had said something to me—or anyone—I would have believed. Why had your brother not come to tell me? Didn’t he think I cared?”

Releasing a ragged sigh, Tristan pushed his fingers through his hair. “I had heard that Trey blamed himself for my death because he couldn’t save me. Because he didn’t try to stop the duel in the first place. I heard he was half mad with remorse that he kept to his room for months. The thought probably never crossed his mind to tell you. However, I do believe after Trey had tried to move on with his life, he blamed you.”

She inhaled sharply. “Me? But why?”

“Because he figured you should have tried to stop the duel. He felt that you had encouraged the duel in the first place. Trey also felt that you should have confessed to being a compromised woman and possibly being with child.”

His words vibrated through her so hard, it nearly shook her off the sofa. She jumped to her feet and stared at him. “ What ? You think I was in the motherly way ?” She took a deep breath. “Why in Heaven’s name would you believe that?”

He held up his hand in surrender. “Wait a moment before you get yourself in a dither, let me finish explaining.”

“Oh! Please do.”

He patted the empty space on the cushion next to him. “Sit back down, please.”

Anger, hurt, and humiliation raged through her. Tears fell from her eyes for different reasons this time. Bunching her hands by her side, she glared at him. “You thought that just because I had allowed you to kiss me in the greenhouse, I had given other men the same privilege—and more?”

“Diana, please. Just sit down and let me explain.”

She couldn’t sit. She couldn’t think. She couldn’t even scream at the top of her voice how unfair life was. All she could do was… was… A sob tore from her throat and she covered her hands over her face. Diana didn’t need to ask why he and his brother had thought this. Ludlow had ruined her reputation—and her life—in more ways than one.

Sobbing that she could not contain rushed forth. The palms of her hands dampened quickly from her tears. Frustration and helplessness had always been part of her life, especially after being forced to marry Ludlow, and she was tired of it. Tired of everything!

Strong arms wrapped around her shoulders and Tristan pulled her against his body. Warmth spread through her, comforting her more than she could have imagined. Gently, he urged her back to the sofa, where she obediently followed.

For years she’d been holding back her feelings, convincing herself there was no use in crying since it never solved a thing. Yet now as she sobbed against Tristan’s chest, relief made her chest lighter, and that confused her. She couldn’t understand the peace flowing through her, either.

He kissed her forehead and tightened his arms around her. “Please don’t cry,” he said softly. “It’s tearing me up inside.”

“Since your return from being um… dead, I have noticed you held bitter feelings for me.” She sniffed. “Those times we had attended the same dinner parties, or the same balls, or I saw you in town, you glared at me.” She lifted her head and looked at him. “I could never understand what I had done.”

He ran the pads of his thumbs under her eyes, wiping away the tears. “When I returned to civilization, I had no memory of the duel. I remembered the days we’d spent together—and the time at the greenhouse—but not much after that. However, whenever I saw you, I did have a feeling of loathing… of hatred, but I couldn’t make sense of those emotions. It wasn’t until last night while I was dreaming that my memory opened up and led me through what really happened and what I had felt during those moments.” Tristan leaned forward and kissed her forehead. “Hollingsworth had told me after he’d shot me that he’d forced himself on you earlier that evening and you were probably carrying his heir. He also mentioned that he had paid off your father’s debts, and that you had known about it the whole time. Trey heard the same thing as I did, and I was never able to talk to my brother about Hollingsworth’s accusations before I fell over the cliff.” He caressed her cheek.

She sniffed back another sob. The pain in her heart made her chest feel as if a house was resting upon it. “Ludlow lied when he told you he’d compromised me. He didn’t even touch me until after our wedding.” She took a deep breath. “But he did pay my father’s debts. I had known this, but I was too embarrassed to say anything to you. My father and I both thought that if you paid Ludlow back he’d change his mind and break the engagement.”

Tristan nodded. “I think that was why I held so much anger and betrayal in my heart for you after my accident. I didn’t know what it was, but now I feel that’s what drove me to drink and turned me into a bitter man.”

She wiped a tear sliding down her cheek. “I’m so sorry, Tristan. Ludlow had lied to both of us, and was determined to keep us apart no matter what the cost.”

“So true. I just wish I could have stopped him. If I hadn’t have gone to the cliffs that night to find you—”

“Shhh.” She placed a finger to his lips. “We cannot relive the past. We must start over right now and move forward from here.”

He shrugged. “You are correct, of course. I had wallowed in my heartache for too long. I had lost you, and I couldn’t bear the thought of not being with you. Whenever I saw you in town, it hurt too much to look at you.”

“Oh, Tristan.” More tears poured down her face. “I never wanted to marry him. I hated him. He was cruel and always threatened me if I didn’t do his bidding. It didn’t take long for me to become bitter toward you for not… not…” She took a deep breath, releasing it slowly as she tried to control her emotions. “I had hoped that the rumors about you were false, and that you were somehow still alive so you could rescue me from my miserable life. I suffered so much abuse from that man. When I couldn’t get pregnant, he beat me. When I disagreed with him over anything, he struck me and locked me in my room for days. Living with him was pure hell, and the whole time I kept imagining what might have happened if we were married.”

“Oh, my sweet Diana.” He kissed her forehead again and pulled her tighter as he brought her head to rest against his chest. “If I had known he treated you so terribly…” His voice broke. “I’m so sorry for everything. I had wanted to rescue you and marry you. We would have been very happy together, I know it.” He stroked her hair. “And I would have never lifted a hand to you in anger like he had.” He buried his face in her hair. “Oh, Diana, if I had known sooner what he’d done, I would have killed him by now.” He kissed her head. “I promise you no man will ever lay a hand on you now that I’m here.”

Slowly, the tears stopped and she wanted nothing more than to cuddle next to this strong man for the rest of her life. As she rubbed her cheek against his shirt, peace filled her. Soon her heart would mend, but it would take time. The best thing for both of them now was to heal—emotionally. Then, and only then, would they be able to trust each other and fall in love all over again.

“Tristan, indeed you are a wonderful man, just as I’d realized when we first met.” She wrapped her arms around his waist and snuggled closer.

He relaxed back against the sofa, seeming content just to hold her. She’d waited for this kind of comforting feeling for too long. Needless to say, it would be impossible to let him go now. But she must. There were still too many obstacles in their way, and until those were resolved, she and Tristan could never be together, and since that wasn’t an option, she realized she must do all she can to right the wrong.

Being without Tristan was like a flower without sunlight. She would not be put through that torture again.