Page 30

N ic threw open the door and barged inside. The woman standing by the desk froze. In her hand was a piece of paper. Wide, frightened eyes stared at him. Within seconds, she sighed in relief, placing her hand on her bosom.

“Oh, Nic. Why did you frighten me so?” Tabitha asked.

His body relaxed and he breathed a heavy sigh.

Happiness welled inside him, erasing all the confusion he’d felt only moments ago.

She looked so lovely in her beige dress with white over-lace.

Her hair was in ringlets today, and he wished he could stroke her curls as he kissed her passionately. With any luck, he’d get his wish.

Quickly, he stepped inside and closed the door. “You don’t know how pleased I am to see you.”

“Yes, well…you could have shown it differently instead of bolting in here like you had fire on your heels.”

He chuckled and moved closer to her, but she stepped back around the desk, keeping it between them. “I thought you were a thief.” He shrugged. “I didn’t know what else to think of the noise inside this private chamber.”

“Oh, that.” She placed the paper on his desk. “Well, I didn’t want to interrupt the meeting you had with Miss McFadden.” She arched an eyebrow. “Shame on you, Nic, for making that girl think you could help her.”

“You heard?” His hopes lifted.

“That was not my intention. I had come to see you, and I figured this room would be the best place we could talk. But then Miss McFadden arrived before I could make my presence known. I was just about to leave you a note.” She pointed to the paper.

“I’m sorry I overheard her confession, but really, it was unavoidable. ”

“That’s very understandable. Let me reassure you, I don’t plan on taking care of this. I’m not qualified to act as a clergyman. This is Frederick’s job, and I will relate Miss McFadden’s story to him and encourage him to take care of the poor young woman.”

She nodded. “That is a very unfortunate thing that happened to her. My heart goes out to Miss McFadden.”

Although he wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and kiss her, it was obvious she was keeping her distance from him for a reason. So he must not act like the overeager lover. Casually, he sat on the edge of the desk and gently swung his leg.

“My heart goes out to her, as well. I cannot even comprehend what must be going through her mind right now. I wouldn’t know what kind of advice to give her.”

Tabitha folded her arms and leaned against the wall.

“Really, there’s not much that can be done.

If she stays here to have her child, her family will be embarrassed and greatly shamed.

If that happens, she’ll be shunned by Society.

If she wants to continue to live a normal life, she can either find another man to marry, or she can have her family send her to the countryside someplace out of the way to have the baby.

If Frederick knows of any childless couples, he can arrange an adoption that way.

If not, the child will have to go to an orphanage. ”

“You are very knowledgeable on the subject. I’m sure you have known other young girls who were in the family way without a husband.”

Irritation creased Tabitha’s face and she curled her lip in disdain. “Lord Elliot had impregnated many of his servants, that’s how I know. In fact, Sally was one of them.”

Nic gasped and rose to his feet. “Sally?”

“She was pregnant when Lord Elliot nearly beat her to death. We thought she might lose the baby, but she didn’t.

She delivered two months ago and gave her child to a couple who couldn’t have children.

Servants don’t have to suffer being shunned from Society, but we still are shamed beyond belief.

Sally is taking this very well, and has seemed to flourish here in North Devon. I think it’s because nobody knows her.”

He moved slowly toward Tabitha. Thankfully, she didn’t try to get away.

Sadness clouded her pretty face, and he would do anything to remove it.

When he stood in front of her, he lifted her hand to his mouth and brushed his lips over her knuckles.

“Please forgive me for making you relive a time in your life you’d rather forget. ”

She released a slow breath of air. “I wish it had never happened, but it’s part of my past whether I want it to be or not. However, being in North Devon, I have felt a sense of freedom I thought I’d never have. Sometimes I actually feel normal.”

“No, my lovely.” He shook his head and cupped her face. “You’re far from normal. You’re exceptional…an astonishing woman that lights up a room just by entering. Don’t ever forget that.”

The corner of her mouth quirked up in a grin. “As always, Lord Hawthorne, you’re saying words I don’t know if I can believe.”

“You can believe them.” He winked.

As much as he wanted to kiss her right now, he found the courage to step back. It was hard, but it must be done. He needed her to make the next step in their relationship. How else would he know when she was ready to love him and give him her heart? “So tell me, what brings you to my office today?”

She appeared bewildered for a moment, but then blinked and shook her head. “Oh yes, I remember now. I wanted to talk to you before you come to have lunch with my aunt tomorrow afternoon.”

“Is something amiss?”

Chuckling, she rolled her eyes. “I would think it was, considering both Aunt Clara and Mrs. Stiles are playing matchmaker. I warned you about this, remember?”

He grinned. “Yes, you did. So what do you want me to do about it?”

“I want you to convince them that we don’t suit. Somehow, you need to make them believe that you don’t find me interesting in the least.”

“Oh, my lovely Tabitha.” He laughed. “It would take a true performer to pull that off. Even a blind person would be able to tell how much I care about you, because I’m sure they’d hear it in my voice.”

“Please, Nic.” She walked to him and laid her hand on his arm. “We must do something to stop them. Have you forgotten our talk yesterday?”

“No. I’ll never forget the times we spend together or what was said.”

“Then you see why we need to do this.”

“Yes, but I’m just saying that it’s going to be hard.”

She nodded. “I understand, but I want you to try, anyway.”

“Of course, my lovely. I’ll do anything for you.”

She tilted her head, studying him for a few moments. He hoped it didn’t take her long before she realized he was being truthful.

With a nod, she stepped away from him and breathed a heavy sigh. “Well then, now that I have said what I came to say, I’ll be leaving.”

She lifted her cloak off the chair and proceeded to wrap it around her shoulders. He moved closer and assisted. Once she had her bonnet on, she strode toward the door.

“Wait,” he called out, stopping her. “Let me go out to see if anyone is out there. We don’t want anyone witnessing you leaving my private chambers.”

“Oh, yes. Thank you for remembering.”

As he passed her, the urge to take her in his arms and hold her was strong. But unwavering, he walked out of the room without touching her. He gazed around the chapel area and couldn’t see anyone. Still, he felt she shouldn’t leave out the front doors. She’d been seen right away.

“Tabitha,” he said softly. “Why don’t you use the back door? That way nobody will see you. The thicket of trees out back should block you from being seen leaving the church altogether.”

“That is very wise. Thank you, Nic.” She moved passed him, then slowed down her steps as she peeked at him over her shoulder. “I shall see you tomorrow afternoon. Don’t forget to be on your best behavior.”

“I shall do my best.” He winked.

He watched her leave with a grin. He would do his best, but he feared the evidence of his feelings would be seen through his eyes when he gazed upon her, and in his voice whenever he spoke to her. Truly, Aunt Clara and Mrs. Stiles would have to be blind not to notice.

*

Tabitha didn’t believe him one bit. He’d do his best ? She highly doubted he knew what that meant.

Grumbling, she made her way through the thicket of trees before finding the path leading to the main road.

When she reached it, she slowed her steps and smoothed out her cloak.

She didn’t want anyone to think she was in a hurry.

If they noticed her, she prayed they would think she was doing her daily walking.

But walking made her think, and she couldn’t believe the conversation with Nic, or his actions.

Not once did he try to kiss her. Although, when he’d cupped her face, she wondered if he was thinking about it then.

Yet, he never did. He never even said anything along those lines, either.

He still hinted about his feelings for her, but for some reason, it was different this time.

The Nic she knew always wanted to convince her of his affections by using his mouth in a wild kiss.

Not this time.

Dare she hope he was having second thoughts, just as she knew he would eventually?

As soon as she thought it, her chest grew heavy with sorrow.

She didn’t like the fact that she enjoyed his attention, and especially that she enjoyed his kisses.

She even hated the fact that he made her feel so special.

But what she hated even more was feeling sad with the mere idea of him giving up on her.

She shook the thought from her head. No, he must give up on her. They were not meant to be together. He was a marquess, and she just a lowly woman who’d been a servant for most of her life until recently. Her world was far different from Nic’s, and because of that, they could never be together.

Perhaps in a small way Nic had come to realize this as well.

That could have been the reason why he didn’t try harder to steal a kiss or to wrap his arms around her.

Dare she hope that he finally realized his mistake in saying those words to her?

Had he come to realize their worlds were too different?