Page 34 of Her Noble Groom

Chapter twenty-eight

T homasse entered the stable, her mouth dry, unsure if James would even speak to her after the way she had ordered him away from the bay-side cottage. She had thought to bring Joanna, for the babe might tug at his heartstrings, but it felt dishonest. If he returned, it must be for her alone.

Fortunately, Philippe came to visit and eagerly agreed to spend time with his goddaughter.

She found James cleaning the saddles, applying oil to keep the leather supple. He did not look up, but his shoulders tensed, making her suspect he was aware of her presence—and it was unwelcome.

“James,” she whispered. “Can we talk?”

He poured more oil onto the cloth and resumed rubbing the saddle. “To what purpose? You made your wishes abundantly clear.”

“Can you forgive me? I want you to come home.”

Cloth still in hand, James turned about, dark circles shadowing his eyes. “I am not a servant you can summon or dismiss at will. You treat me as though I have no feelings. You have my ring on your finger, so you have no further need of me.”

Thomasse stepped closer. “That is not true. You have been a true friend.”

“You have a strange manner of showing it.”

“I have done you wrong.” She nudged at the rushes with her toe, unable to meet his gaze. “I love you, James.”

“Words like love are easy to say when you desire something. But you can play a man for a fool only so many times. I married you because the seigneur commanded it—that is all. ”

“I do not believe you. The carved chest. A man does not spend hours creating something so beautiful for someone he does not hold in high regard.”

James’s eyes narrowed. “What does a daughter of the gentry know of love?”

“Very little, I confess. But I know when you are gone, I miss you. My heart longs to be with you. Whether good or ill happens, it is you I want to confide in. Are you saying you do not love me?”

“Maybe I felt that way once—”

“And now?” Her voice trembled. Could she dare to hope?

“I do not know what I feel.” James swallowed hard and returned to oiling the saddle.

“I know I have wounded you. I never meant to, but sometimes fear takes over.” She stepped up behind him and touched his arm, her voice soft and uncertain. “Can we find a way to mend this? If you will not do it for me, then for Joanna. She needs her father.”

“I cannot.” His words were strained, and he rubbed the saddle more vigorously. “It is wrong to expect me to live with you and not have you fully as my wife.”

“I want that, too. I just need more time.”

He turned and looked at her. “In other words, nothing has changed between us.”

“It weighs heavy on my heart that I can never be the innocent girl who landed on Jersey. I do not want to let that pirate and what he did keep us apart.” She looked down, unable to face him for fear the reminder would make him disdain her.

“I cannot be with you as a pure bride. The day may come when you will resent me for it.”

“Why would I hold that against you? You had no sway over that man’s doings.”

“Many men would.”

“You are blameless—not just in my eyes, but in the eyes of God.” He sagged against the wall, his voice weary. “What do you want from me, Thomasse?”

She stepped closer to him and placed a hand on his chest. His heart beat in time with her own. She breathed in his heady scent of musk, horses, oil, and hay. “Be patient with me. Help still my fear. When I turn from you, hold me close. Remind me it is my pain that speaks.”

James placed his hand over hers. “You know I would never harm you, that my touch and my love are safe.”

“My mind knows I can trust you, but my body still remembers and betrays me. I want to heal with you by my side.”

His amber eyes stared deep into hers. “Are you certain?”

Thomasse looked up at him, her heart filled with joy at the tenderness in his eyes. She rose onto her toes and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I have never been more certain,” she whispered against his mouth.

James gathered her close. When their lips met, she savored the taste of him. Her heart soared. This wonderful man—her husband—would be there for her today and always. The road ahead would not be easy, but they would walk it together.

The End