Page 13 of Her Charming Duke (Regency Roses #3)
CHAPTER 13
T he early morning mist hung low over the fields as Aaron rode through the countryside, the rhythmic pounding of his horse’s hooves on the dirt path providing a steady backdrop to his turbulent thoughts. The sky was a pale gray, hinting at the sun that would soon rise, but the chill in the air matched the unease in his heart.
He hadn’t slept much, the events of the previous night replaying in his mind like a relentless specter. Seeing Amelia again had been a shock, and hearing about her misery had unsettled him deeply. He had left her years ago, believing it was the right decision for them both. But now, doubt gnawed at him.
Had he made a colossal mistake? Would it have been better to marry her and avoid the pain and suffering she seemed to be enduring? He would have lost his freedom, and surely he’d have been unhappy, but maybe he could have found a way? He could have traveled as he did now, leaving Amelia behind to live a life of her own choosing but with the comfort of his title…
His horse, sensing his agitation, snorted and flicked its ears back, but Aaron barely noticed. His mind was consumed with questions and regrets. Amelia’s bitter words echoed in his ears, mingling with the memory of her brother’s angry accusations.
He couldn’t shake the image of Thomas Cornell’s furious face, nor the terror in Judith’s eyes when he had found her in the garden. Had he really made Amelia so unhappy that her brother was so blinded by rage that he’d tried to take it out on an innocent bystander like Judith? To do what? Get back at Aaron?
The countryside around him blurred as he pushed his horse harder, as if he could outrun his guilt.
As he rode past the edge of the estate, he spotted a familiar figure in the distance. It was Mr. Barrett, the steward who had known Aaron since he was a boy. The older man was inspecting the fields, his keen eyes missing nothing. Aaron slowed his horse and directed it toward the steward.
“Morning, Mr. Barrett,” Aaron called as he approached. “What brings you out here so early?”
“Good morning, Your Grace,” Mr. Barrett replied, tipping his hat. “We’ve had some sightings of boars nearby, and I wanted to make sure the kale crop is safe,” he replied, before tilting his head to the side. “You’re out early.”
Aaron dismounted, feeling the need to stretch his legs and talk to someone who might offer some clarity. Mr. Barrett had been loyal and almost fatherly to him his entire life—and he’d been around during the aftermath of his broken engagement.
“Couldn’t sleep,” Aaron admitted. “Too much on my mind.”
Barrett nodded in understanding. “I heard about the incident last night. Are you alright, Your Grace?”
Aaron sighed, looking out over the mist-covered fields. “Physically, yes. But I had a rather unfortunate run-in with Lady Lundgren last night, and it has brought up some memories I’d rather forget again.”
The steward studied him for a moment before speaking. “It’s been a long time since that business with Lady Lundgren. It must have been quite a shock.”
“It was,” Aaron agreed. He hesitated, then asked, “Mr. Barrett, do you think I made a mistake with Amelia? Should I have married her, despite everything?”
Mr. Barrett was silent for a moment, considering his words. “Your Grace, you’ve always been a man who values freedom and honesty. You knew you didn’t love her, and you couldn’t bring yourself to live a lie. I told your father it was a mistake to make the arrangement, to begin with.”
Aaron nodded, for it was true. Mr. Barrett had been on his side from the start. He’d even smoothed the waters after the engagement ended.
“I know, but she is unhappy in her marriage and blames me for ruining her future.”
The steward waved his hand. “She might be unhappy now, but who is to say she would have been happier living here? You knew you could never love her and that it wouldn’t be right. You did what you felt needed doing. That takes courage. Marrying Lady Lundgren would have made you both miserable.”
“But look at her now,” Aaron said, frustration seeping into his voice. “She’s in a terrible marriage, and her brother despises me for it. He tried to hurt Lord Worcester’s sister only because she is connected to me.”
Mr. Barrett knew all about the arrangement with Oliver, something he seemed
“Amelia’s situation is unfortunate, but you cannot take all the blame for it,” he said firmly. “Her family pushed for the match just as much as yours did. And as for her brother, he’s acting out of anger and protectiveness. It’s understandable, but it doesn’t mean you were wrong.”
Aaron looked down, his brow furrowed. “I just can’t shake the feeling that I’ve caused so much harm. Judith was nearly scandalized last night because of my past.”
Mr. Barrett laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Your Grace, life is full of difficult choices. We can’t always foresee the consequences of our actions. What’s important is that you acted with integrity. You refused to trap yourself in a loveless marriage. You must leave the past behind and focus on the present.”
Aaron nodded slowly, feeling a small measure of relief from the steward’s words. “Thank you, Mr. Barrett. I needed to hear that.”
“Anytime, Your Grace,” Mr. Barrett said with a warm smile.
As they parted, Aaron felt a renewed sense of determination. He couldn’t change the past, but he could ensure Judith’s future was secure. She would not be tied to a man who was like him, unwilling to be wed. Or a man like Amelia’s husband, too old to make a good husband.
No, he’d help her as he’d promised, and he would eye the prospective suitors with more scrutiny. At Almack’s, he’d let her choose any gentleman she fancied, and for that one evening, it had all been well and good. He’d wanted to teach her self-confidence, after all. Now that she had it, at least in some measure, he would set his eye on a truly worthy match for her. And perhaps, in doing so, he could find some peace for himself.
Aaron rode back to the house with renewed determination. The cool morning air whipped at his face as he urged his horse faster, feeling a sense of urgency he hadn’t felt in years. He would not allow Judith to suffer the same fate as Amelia. He had to prevent her from settling for a poor match from the very beginning.
Once back at the estate, he handed off his horse to a stable hand and strode purposefully into the house. The click-clack of his boots echoed in the grand hallway as he made his way to his chambers to change. The conversation with Mr. Barrett had strengthened his resolve, and he felt a clarity that had been absent since seeing Amelia again.
As he walked down the hall, his eyes landed on a painting of his parents. They stood side by side in front of a blue wall, their expressions solemn and distant. Just as they had been in life. Aaron paused, studying their faces. His father’s stern countenance and his mother’s resigned gaze reminded him of the loveless marriage they had endured. A marriage of convenience and social expectation, devoid of true companionship or joy.
Had they ever been happy in one another’s company? He thought back to the many birthdays and Christmases as well as Easter celebrations held at this estate, and he knew the answer. They’d found happiness in his presence, in the company of their family and friends, but not each other. He sighed deeply, feeling the weight of their unhappiness.
His parents’ painting loomed behind him, a reminder of the consequences of poor choices and societal pressures. He was determined to break that cycle.
Reaching his chambers, Aaron quickly changed into fresh clothes, his movements brisk and efficient. He had a mission now, a purpose that transcended his past regrets. Judith’s future depended on him, and he would not fail her. As he thought of her, his heart fluttered at the memory of their conversation. She’d been so alive, so cheerful—he’d loved to see it. And he’d enjoyed talking to her. She was a lovely person with a fiery personality. And her beauty transcended that of even Amelia. A shame that they were so…
He shook his head. No, no. He could not think of her as anything other than his friend’s sister, a young woman in need.
As he descended the grand staircase, the household staff went about their morning routines. He nodded to them, his expression set and serious. He needed to speak with Judith and plan their next steps. He also had to speak to her regarding her plans for Lord Pembroke. He wasn’t entirely sure if he was the right match for her.
Truly, he hadn’t thought too much of it when he’d picked him. He was a solid enough gentleman with a good estate and income—although he did like the company of young ladies. In that, he wasn’t so wonderful a match. He might stop that habit if he had someone to focus his affections on, but it could not be guaranteed. Perhaps they ought to keep looking. No point in…
“Betting on the first horse,” Aaron muttered to himself, remembering their conversation. He chuckled, drawing the eye of a passing footman.
“Your Grace?” the man asked.
“Nothing, just a humorous thought that came to me,” Aaron said and pressed on.
Witty. That was the other quality he liked in Judith. She was witty. He sucked in a lungful of air as he went on. She deserved happiness. And he’d do all he could to make sure she found it.