Page 7 of Her Alien Soldier (Asterion Station #1)

M aggie sat before she could second guess herself. She’d sat on men’s laps plenty of times, even jokingly, goofing around, flirting. Why this felt like walking off the edge of a cliff was a mystery.

Her first thought was that holy shit, his thigh was big and firm.

Which made her think that he’s probably got a powerful thrust. Which made her nearly jump up because she was already hot and bothered and that was the last thing she needed to think about.

So she stayed, and thought about how warm he was and how good he smelled before finally trying to pull herself together to look at him.

It was as if she’d never touched a man before. Which would make more than a few of her friends laugh their asses off. In her younger days, she’d been more than happy to take males of nearly any alien race up on their invitations to come to their quarters or ships with them.

And she’d had a good time!

But this was different, and when Maggie met his gaze, she thought, maybe, that it was different for him, too. He held her gaze and rested his big, warm hand on her hip, and there was no fighting the shiver that ran through her body at his touch.

He started pulling his hand away and she shook her head “Don’t,” she whispered. He firmly placed his hand back on her hip.

“You’d think I’d never been near a man before,” she muttered, voicing her irritation out loud. For some reason, he made her feel like she could do that.

“I was just thinking I feel like an adolescent alone with a female for the first time,” he murmured, and she couldn't help laughing.

“Glad it’s not just me,” she said, her gaze still locked with his.

“No, Maggie. It is not just you,” he said, giving her hip another little squeeze. “You will have to teach me what it looks like to be lighthearted and having fun. I am enjoying this, perhaps too much. But this does not feel casual and that is what it is supposed to look like.”

His words nearly took her breath away. And they sent her back to the last time she’d given her heart to someone. Only he’d said the exact opposite, that they were nothing, a mistake, and it had all been in her head.

“This is why I thought it might be a good idea to try this without an audience first,” she said. “I sort of had a feeling it wouldn’t be as simple as it should be.”

“I have been told I tend to complicate things,” he said mildly, and she smiled.

“Me too, Xarek.”

He moved his hand from her hip, sliding it up her back, then back down again, almost as if he was trying to soothe her.

It was nice. Comforting. It also made her nipples pebble beneath the thin fabric of her pajama top and heat swirl in her belly.

“All right?” he asked quietly, and she nodded. How do you sit on someone’s lap? She wondered. Oh, right! Rest your arm on his shoulder, dumbass.

She lifted one arm and rested her hand on his shoulder.

BAD idea. He was even bulkier and harder than she’d imagined.

And she’d imagined a lot.

She met his gaze again. Or tried to. But his gaze was locked in somewhere below her neck, and she realized he’d noticed the state she was in.

“If you are like the females of my people, you are cold or aroused right now,” he said, and something in his voice made her absolutely sure that he expected an answer. And she felt compelled, but not in a bad way… almost in a comforting way… to do what he wanted.

“Similar, then,” she said softly.

“Are you cold, Maggie?” he asked in a low, rumbling voice that sent heat through her body.

“Definitely not cold,” she whispered.

There was no missing the heat in his gaze, or the hardness suddenly prodding at the side of her thigh. She took a shaky breath as his hand slid down her spine again, resting at the base of her spine.

“I am not cold, either, in case you were going to ask,” he said, and there was that slight upturn at the corner of his mouth again. “This may not have been the best plan.”

“Or it’s the best plan ever,” she joked, and that got a laugh out of him. He gently kneaded her lower back, and she pressed her lips together to stop herself from moaning.

“Well. I definitely will not be.. What was it? Glowering at the door, with you on my lap like this.”

“Great plan, then.”

“I also will not be able to think of anything other than how good you feel on top of me.”

“Oh,” she breathed, biting her lip to keep from laughing.

He nodded, then cleared his throat. “Talk about something that is not arousing.”

She laughed then, and he smiled back. “Um. Oh! There are these disgusting insects that get onto the station sometimes and they get into everything. And they smell like garbage! And they only smell worse when they die, so the station smells like death for quite a while every time we have an infestation of them.”

He stared at her for a moment, and then he laughed.

“That is definitely not arousing,” he said after a moment, unable to help himself as he gently rubbed her back again.

This female, this human woman, was unlike anyone he had ever known.

Kind, warm, fun, playful, smart. Sexy. Stars, she was sexy. And she smelled good enough to devour.

She smiled at him, seeming to relax a little. Those hard points beneath her sleep shirt were still there, and that light flush hadn’t left her cheeks. It took everything in him not to cup one of her plump breasts, tease that hard point with his thumb and listen to the sounds she made for him.

Her eyes widened, and her blush deepened, and he realized he’d grown even harder against the side of her shapely thing.

“Apologies,” he grunted. “Your story was not arousing, but you definitely are, Maggie.”

“It’s probably just because it’s been a while since you’ve had someone on your lap,” she said with a small shake of her head. “Which is completely understandable.”

“It has been quite a while. But that is not why,” he said. “Surely you know how stunning you are.”

He watched as a range of emotions crossed her face. “I mean. I’m alright. I’m also older than 40, which renders women of my species invisible to a good portion of men.”

“Then they are absolute fools,” he said, and he could hear the growl in his voice. “If things were different… this would be so much more than an act.”

She studied him. “How so?”

Part of him tried to be as careful as he always was.

A more forceful part was tired of being careful.

“If things were different, I would have you face down on the floor while I took out my frustrations on your gorgeous body,” he said, and her mouth fell open, her blush deepening.

It only encouraged him to keep going. “Gripping your hair as I slammed into you, showing you over and over again how not invisible you are to me.”

“Xarek…”

“I would have you screaming my name. Begging. And I think you would enjoy it, Maggie.”

“Fuck…” she whimpered, and that nearly did it. “Now I’m definitely not going to be able to act normal on your lap.”

“I feel like I should apologize, but I would be lying. I am not sorry that you know how desirable you are.”

She was quiet for a few moments, sitting there on his lap, her lush curves pressed against his body.

He was in agony. His hand would get a workout when he returned to his ship. Not for the first time since he had met Maggie, either.

“We can do this. This is important to you and your people,” she said softly.

“It is.”

“We’ll manage. I’ll just need plenty of cold showers in the meantime…unless….”

“Unless?”

She looked up at him. “We both want this. There is no rule saying we can’t give into the lust while you’re here. Maybe we’ll be able to focus better when we’re in public if we sate this insane need in private.”

He barely suppressed a groan. “I am a fool for not enthusiastically agreeing to that plan.”

“But?”

He ran his hand up and down her back, fingertips softly trailing along her spine.

“I have not been casual about a single thing in my life. I am not made that way, though I have tried, a few times. I have to leave here after the Paraxian arrives. Which means anything between us can only ever be temporary.” He stopped there.

If he had said everything on his mind, he would have added, “And it would not be enough.” Because that would also be the truth.

He felt her shiver beneath his touch, but he sensed it was not a shiver of displeasure. If he was a good person, he would stop touching her. Clearly he enjoyed torturing both of them.

“Not the one night stand type, huh?” she asked, turning her head to look into his eyes.

“No. It has been an annoyance with past relationships. I want everything, or nothing at all.”

Her gaze heated, and he had that urge again to turn her over and take what he wanted. He was fairly certain now that she would let him. Enthusiastically.

But he would have to walk away from her, and he had no room in his life to long for someone he could not have. There was a war to win, and his people were depending on him.

And if he stayed here, like this, alone with her in her quarters, he would lose what little self control he had left.

He gently scooped her up and set her on the seat beside him. “I think we have practiced enough. And I should get back to watching.”

“Of course.”

“I am playing Talacc with the Bellarian for the next few hours, so that will keep me from looking too obvious. I hope,” he said with a shrug as he stood. She stood as well, and he bowed his head. “Thank you, Maggie.”

“Of course. Good luck,” she said quickly, moving toward the door to see him out.

It already felt far too difficult to put one foot in front of the other. It would be so easy to drag her back to the seating area and pull her back onto his lap again.

But… duty. So he would not.

He offered her another small bow and stepped through the door before he could change his mind. And as he did, all he could think was that he was a damned fool.