Page 45 of Hello Trouble

DELLA

When I woke up the next day after hardly sleeping, I really didn’t feel like going into work. But staying at home and stewing with nothing to distract me from what happened the night before sounded like torture.

I kept replaying the night in my mind—how close Hayes and I were. How happy I felt. And then the anguish in his voice. The way he shut all the softest parts of himself away from me, leaving only the rough stony edges I used to know.

My heart ached as I went into the office, wondering what our conversation tonight would bring.

Was last night my first and last time with him in my bed?

How could we move forward when he felt so betrayed by me?

I couldn’t blame him for being upset and needing space.

Putting myself in his shoes, I would have felt the same way.

I went back to the break area, making coffee for Edna and me, then brought it to her desk just in time for her to breeze into the office. Today she had on a pair of white capris, a teal-blue shirt and a gauzy neck scarf held in place with a golden brooch.

“Looking good,” I told her.

She smiled. “Look good, feel good.”

I dipped my head in acknowledgement.

“I sent that job description to a few candidates last night. I know they won’t be as good as you, but fingers crossed they’ll be half as good.” She set her purse down on a chair in the corner of her office and then sat at her desk. “See you for our huddle in fifteen?”

I nodded despite the painful twist of my heart. Time was running out for me to ask Edna to keep my job, but with any luck, I’d have more clarity tonight.

* * *

I felt dizzy with nerves as I pulled into Hayes’s driveway. I couldn’t see into his home, but his truck was parked outside along with his motorcycle, carefully stored under a cover to protect it from the elements.

My heart raced a jaunty pace at the sight as I wondered if this would be my last time coming to his house.

Was this the part where we turned into strangers?

I’d been there before in past relationships, but I really didn’t want that to happen with Hayes. Even with my best friend’s doubt. Even with my parents’ disapproval. Something deep inside of me knew this thing with Hayes felt right.

Taking a deep breath, I got out of my car and walked toward his house, praying this wouldn’t be the end.

I was about to knock on the wooden door with the diamond-shaped window up high, but it opened before I could. And Hayes was standing there in ripped-up jeans and a baggy white shirt, his hair slightly damp from a shower.

Just the sight of him made me want to fall into his arms and let him hold me, but he simply stepped back and said, “Come on in.” Nothing in his expression gave away what was to come.

I followed him into his place, noticing the savory scents coming from his kitchen. He’d cooked for us as promised, but I didn’t have much of an appetite.

“You can sit at the table,” he said, “I’ll serve you.”

“Thank you,” I replied.

It all seemed so stiff, so formal.

That wasn’t us.

Where was Hayes’s joke about serving me a piece of meat? Or the roll of my eyes in return?

A small scuffle of paws on hard floors sounded, and I looked down just in time to see Chopper launch himself at my knees. “Hi, sweetie!” I cooed, picking him up.

Oh God, I thought as I stroked his soft, curly fur. Was this my last time seeing Chopper too?

My heart sank as Hayes said, “Would you like something to drink? Water? Lemonade? Tea?”

“Lemonade, please.” The words felt like cotton in my mouth.

He brought me a glass half full of ice and topped off with lemonade. Then he said, “I made spaghetti and a salad. Are you okay with that?”

I nodded, finding it hard to speak. My throat was feeling tight. After taking a drink, I focused again on Chopper, trying not to cry. The dog was looking at me with big, brown, shiny eyes. As if he could feel my mood, he ducked his head to my chest. It took all I had not to sob.

Hayes set a heaping plate of spaghetti and red sauce and a fresh salad in front of me. “Is there anything else you’d like?” he asked.

I looked up at him, trying to see how he was so calm. “Honestly, Hayes, my stomach is in so many knots I don’t know how I’m going to eat before we talk.”

“Same here.” He sat down across from me, hand shaking as he reached for a spiral notebook I hadn’t noticed on his table. Our plates were completely forgotten as he began speaking. “I’m sorry I ran out like that last night. I wasn’t in a good head space.”

I nodded slowly. “I understand. I would have freaked out too.”

His lips formed a sad smile that quickly fell.

“So what’s in the notebook?” I asked, trying to keep my voice from shaking.

“Well, I went to my brother for advice, and he pointed out that since this is all new to me, I’m still figuring things out. He told me I needed to think about what I wanted moving forward. What I was willing to give.”

I searched his eyes, hoping for a hint of his answer. I’d spent my whole life dreaming of what I wanted in a man. This really was all new to him.

Hayes cleared his throat and flipped open the notebook where I could see the pages lifting and wrinkled from pen indentations. “I know I’m not done yet, but when I thought of what I wanted, I thought... I want Della.”

My lips trembled, because I’d been around long enough to know that wasn’t always enough.

“I thought, I want to argue with her about trivial bullshit just to see how happy she is when she finds out she was right all along. I want to dance with her and her two left feet—as long as I’m wearing steel-toe boots.

I want to look at her from across the room at a family party and see the blush on her cheeks when she notices me looking.

I want her to believe in love, and I want to be someone she can believe in. ”

“Hayes...” I said, even as a tear slipped down my cheek. But he continued reading from his list.

“I want to trust and be trusted. I want no secrets or surprises. I want to be a provider to my woman—and my children if they come. I want to learn to stay through the hard stuff instead of running away.” And then he set the notebook down.

This time, he didn’t read from the book but looked in my eyes as he spoke.

“I want a chance to see if this relationship is something that will last... but not at the cost of your dreams.” He reached over and grabbed Chopper and set him on the floor.

Then he grabbed my hands, squeezing them lightly but with purpose.

“I don’t know much about this job you’re moving for, but I know it must be a good opportunity for you to uproot your life here.

If that new job is something you want, I could never stand in your way.

But my life is here. I can’t go, and I won’t ask you to stay. ”

I took one of my hands from his and swiped at the tears falling down my cheeks. “Did you mean it?”

“Mean what?” he asked.

“What you said last night, about loving me?”

His eyes were tortured as they stayed on mine. “I meant every word.”

My lips trembled as I took it in. Hayes loved me.

And not in the tentative, shy way of a new relationship.

He’d gone all in with me, just like I had with him.

“The job was never about needing more money or to move up in my career,” I said softly, afraid my voice would fail.

“It was about thinking I could never find this feeling in Cottonwood Falls... But then I found you. And you were here all along.” My voice cracked.

My heart did too. “All this time we’ve missed out on. ..”

Hayes shook his head, wiping away my tears with both his thumbs. “We weren’t late. You and I were right on time.”

He seemed so confident, I had to ask, “What do you mean?”

“I needed time to grow into the man you deserved, to see you for the incredible woman you are.”

More tears flowed at the compliment, this time happy and relieved. “This isn’t going to be easy,” I warned. “My family, my friends, their support means a lot to me. You’ve shown me how amazing you are, but you’ll have to show them too.”

He rested his forehead against mine. “I’ll be here as long as it takes.”

“And no more making my car break down,” I teased.

He chuckled, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “But how am I supposed to get you on the back of my motorcycle?”

I leaned back, hitting his shoulder.

Laughing, he pulled me in. I held on to him, thankful to be in his arms. It felt like right where I belonged.