Page 17 of Hello Trouble

HAYES

Why had I agreed to check cattle with Dad this early on a Saturday morning?

Maybe I hadn’t known I’d be in such a pissy mood when I’d agreed, but damn.

Between my balls crunching on the saddle, the horse farting underneath me, and my mind constantly replaying Della driving away with fucking Bennett , I was beginning to regret my choice.

But Dad rode along easily on Blister, his roan quarter horse.

A slight smile tilted his lips as he gazed out over the herd of mama cows and their calves.

This pasture was full of hills and ruts.

It could be driven, which Dad did most days, but you could see more when you got on horseback.

He did that more often while the calves were young.

Losing one could cost the ranch hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars.

“Looking forward to the spring festival?” Dad asked. “It’s just a couple weeks away.”

“Fuck no,” I huffed. “Maybe I’ll break a leg and get out of dancing.”

Dad gave me a look. “I thought you liked dancing.”

“I do when it’s my own idea,” I admitted. “So about that broken leg...”

Dad shook his head at me. “Keep talking that way and you’ll jinx yourself.”

I rolled my eyes. Dad was superstitious like that. Always giving things a deeper meaning, like God was listening in ready to contradict us.

After a beat, Dad said, “Liv had an ultrasound. Baby’s doing well.”

“That’s good.” I managed to smile for a second before it fell.

Our horses walked us into a valley, steep hills dotted with yucca plants on both sides of us. The sun was still low enough in the sky that we were cast in shadows, making it about fifteen degrees colder. I shivered, glad I’d kept my hoodie on.

“Emily won student of the week,” Dad added. “They’re having an assembly next Friday where they’ll tell everyone how nice she is.”

“I never won any of those.”

Dad smirked. “Wonder why... Oh, and Maya’s on the dean’s honor roll.”

“Stupid—the high school doesn’t have a dean.”

Dad gave me side-eye. “Did a rattlesnake crawl up your pants?”

I raised my eyebrows. “No?”

“Then why are you so full of piss and vinegar today?”

I had half a mind to ride my horse away from Dad and back to the house. But even though he had more gray hair and wrinkles than he used to, he could still out-maneuver me on a horse. So I was stuck here under his inquisitive stare. “Can you let it go?”

“I let it go the other day at the diner when you were acting off. This is me bringing it back up.”

Now I gave him the side-eye. Sometimes I wish he wasn’t so damn involved. “Can’t you be a deadbeat like Aggie’s ex?”

He responded with an exasperated look. “I’m sorry my love and care for my sons is an inconvenience to you.”

We reached the end of the valley where a pair of cattle were grazing. They were off to the side, apart from the others, which wasn’t a good sign. “Let’s get a closer look,” Dad said, the interrogation paused for the moment.

I adjusted the reins to fall into step behind his horse while he studied the animals. Growing up, we all did our part on the ranch, so I knew what he was looking for. Either a runny nose, trouble breathing, an injury, or scours.

At the sight of the calf, he frowned and twisted in his saddle to look at me. “I’m gonna rope the calf. Can you watch the mama so she doesn’t maul me?”

“Trusting me an awful lot, considering I’m full of piss and vinegar,” I said lightly.

Dad gave me yet another exasperated look, then started unclipping his lasso from his saddle.

I guided my horse up, pushing back the mama cow.

“Back up, babe,” I said to her in a low, steady voice.

As soon as she’d taken a few steps back, I heard the thwick of a rope, then the snap of it pulling tight. The beller of a calf.

The heifer snorted, trying to run toward the calf, but I cut her off, playing defense on horseback. My adrenaline was kicking up, and finally my mind felt clear, focused on something instead of stewing on an impossible problem.

Thank fuck.

Dad made quick work of medicating the calf, and when he was back on his horse, he called, “All good.”

I steered my horse, trotting away from the heifer. She was already running back to her calf, nosing over its body to check out the little guy.

“Everything okay?” I asked Dad.

“Had the scours and needed some electrolytes. I’ll check back in on him again this evening.”

I nodded, continuing to keep pace alongside him. He turned toward another draw, silent for a moment. But my luck didn’t last too long, because Dad said, “Don’t make me tie you up too.”

I chuckled softly, then gave in, because Dad wasn’t giving up. “If I tell you, you can’t tell anyone.”

The old man held up his pinky. “Want to swear on it?”

I rolled my eyes at him. “Fucker.”

Dad chuckled. “It’s just you and me out here. What’s going on?”

I shook my head slowly, not even sure how to say it. “I’ve been thinking things lately...”

“That is new,” Dad teased. “I can see why you’d be concerned.”

“Dad!” I huffed out, holding back a laugh. “I’m being serious.”

“Go ahead.” He smiled over at me before looking ahead again. It was like he knew I needed space to talk because I was having trouble finding the right words to describe what was going on. “How did you know when it was time to settle down? Weren’t you wild back in the day?”

Dad smiled, making the lines around his eyes grow deeper, catching shadows. “You’re asking the wrong question.”

I raised my eyebrows. “I am?”

He nodded, rocking in tandem with the horse. “You should be asking ‘When did you stop fighting the fear of settling down?’”

“What do you mean?” I swore he talked in riddles sometimes.

He shifted the leather reins to his other hand and let out a breath.

“When I met your mom, something in me knew she was the one. But there was another part of me that thought ‘You’re too young, it isn’t the time.

..’ all that bullshit. I was thinking of what I’d have to give up to be with her, not what I’d gain by having her in my life. ”

My throat felt tight. Hearing him talk about Mom that way, when I hardly remembered her, was hard.

“Is there a woman?” he asked, straightforward.

“I don’t know. She’s always been around, but it’s like I’m having a harder and harder time remembering I should stay away. I’ve never felt like this about her before.”

“What changed?” Dad asked.

It was a fair question. And I had to sort it over in my mind to find the right words. We crested another draw, suddenly giving us a view of the horizon. We could see dozens of pairs from here, illuminated by the golden morning sunlight.

“It’s like coming over this hill,” I said. “The cattle were here the whole time, but I couldn’t see them until we got to the top.”

Dad nodded slowly. “You know, just because you noticed her doesn’t mean you have to do anything.”

I couldn’t hide my surprise. “What do you mean?” Dad was so happy when all my brothers paired up, got married, had kids. Some part of me always felt like I was disappointing him by not following that same path.

He layered one hand atop another on the saddle horn while he spoke.

“Even though I wish I could have come to my senses sooner and been with your mom, I wasn’t ready for her yet.

I needed to grow into the man she deserved.

If I would have jumped into that relationship before I was ready, it would have done us both a disservice. ”

An uncomfortable, squirming feeling had me asking my next question. “What if she had moved on before you were ready?”

“Then I would have gotten ready real damn fast.” Dad chuckled. “The thing about wonderful women is that other people can also see how wonderful they are.”