Page 38 of Hello Goodbye Amore

THE REST of the dinner with Tio’s parents went as well as Chase could have expected. Ricky really seemed to like Tio’s father. When he showed Ricky through the house, he apparently told him stories, which Ricky shared some of before he finally settled in bed with Sheepy tucked under his arm.

“I was so scared,” Chase whispered as Tio placed his hand gently on the base of his back. “What am I going to do if he is your son and not mine?” He closed the door.

“You will always be Ricky’s daddy. I mean that. You raised him, and no matter what happens, I won’t take him away from you.”

Chase nodded. “But what happens if we do have a test and it comes back that you’re his father? Your parents are not going to sit back and just accept it, no matter how they acted tonight. They are going to push because Ricky will be the future of their family—your family.”

“I know how they feel, and how you feel, and it isn’t going to change anything.

And if Ricky isn’t my biological son, then I’ll feel the same about him and you.

” He drew Chase close. “What I want is both of you. I want us to be a family. It may not have been the one we envisioned after college, but it’s still what I want. ”

Chase wanted to believe him more than anything.

“I’m scared, but we need to know. I’ll order the tests, and we can have them done.

This way there won’t be any doubt, and once they come back…

then….” He didn’t finish his thoughts, because there was no need to.

He might as well face facts. There was not going to be any hiding from the truth, not now.

He had heard the old adage that the truth could set you free, but in his case, it could pull away everything he had ever wanted.

“Hey, you need to stop worrying. I meant what I said,” Tio told him.

Chase found himself nodding even though he didn’t really believe it.

“I know you do. But things have a way of changing.” They had in the past, though Chase wanted to believe what Tio told him.

“I won’t go back on what I said. We can order the test kits and send them in.

That will tell us once and for all if you are Ricky’s father.

” And if he was, then Chase was going to have to explain that to Ricky.

“Okay.” Tio agreed. “Do you want me to stay?”

Chase sighed. “I don’t know. Part of me wants to be alone, but I know if I do that then I’m just going to dwell on this.

I made my decision, and I won’t back away from it.

I just hope I’m making the right one.” Tio hugged him tightly, and Chase held on to him in return. All he could do now was hope.

“DADDY, THERE’S a box that came. Does that mean that you’re going to put that swabby thing in my mouth again?” Ricky asked before clamping his mouth shut. “It tasted weird.” He put his hand over his mouth.

“Nope. Those are some papers for work, and we shouldn’t need to do that again.

” He had sent in the swab kits for Ricky, him, and Tio at the same time, and he knew he was being ridiculous, but he had checked the website every day to see if there were results.

There hadn’t been any news yet. “Why are you so worried about it?”

Ricky shrugged, and Chase lifted him onto his lap. “I heared you talking, and what if the tests say that you aren’t my daddy no more?” Ricky leaned against him, his little body shaking.

“I will always be your daddy. Your mommy was my sister, and she wanted me to take care of you, and I always will, no matter what. I’ll be your daddy, and you’ll be my Ricky for always.” Damn it all, he thought he had been so careful when talking about all this. He held Ricky tighter. “Okay?”

“You promise?” Ricky asked.

“I do. I promise forever.” He closed his eyes and just breathed as normally and deeply as he could.

“Now, how about I make some dinner and you play with your Legos for a while? After that, you can have a bath and get ready for bed.” He had to keep to the schedule no matter how frazzled he was becoming.

“Okay.” Ricky slid down and ran to the living room, where he dumped his Legos onto the rug.

Chase got some pork out of the small refrigerator and began making dinner.

He was trying to think about the cooking and not everything else when his phone dinged to indicate a new email.

He expected it to be from Dewey with another question.

They had been going on all week, and Chase was so tired of answering things that his boss could easily see for himself if he simply looked at the project documents.

He pulled out his phone and stared at the indicator. There were results. Chase turned off the heat and sat staring at the “test results complete” email. After a deep breath, he messaged Tio that results had been posted.

Did you look? Tio sent in response.

No. This affects you as much as me. I thought we should see them together , he responded, and Tio said that he was on his way. Chase turned the heat on for the potatoes and got them cooking once more. Ricky had asked for mashed potatoes, so that was what he was making to go with the pork cutlets.

“Mr. Nello is coming over,” Chase told Ricky, who nodded and continued building some sort of tower.

He wished he could be as calm, but then, there were advantages to being six years old.

He finished making dinner and called Ricky to the table as Tio knocked on the door.

Chase let him in and then got Tio a glass of wine before sitting down.

“Would you like a plate?”

“No. I ate at the house.” Tio sipped the wine and looked around, probably for some sort of clue. Chase shrugged and set his phone on the table. “Any answers?”

“Not until Ricky goes to bed,” Chase answered.

“And once he’s done eating, it’s bath time and then a story before night-night.

” He smiled at Ricky and returned to his dinner, refilling his own glass and Tio’s.

Once they were done, he cleared the table.

“I’ll go run your bath, and you need to get out your jammies to put on.

” Ricky hurried away. “Just let me get him into bed. I don’t want to talk about it in front of him.

He’s already heard bits and asked me if I was going to still be his daddy.

” Chase bit his lower lip, because damn, that had hurt.

“Did you tell him that you always would be?” Tio asked, and Chase nodded. “Then you gave him the right answer.”

Chase went to run the bath, and Ricky climbed into the tub. Bathtime was usually happy, but Ricky didn’t seem to feel it any more than he did, and after washing, he got out of the tub and into his dino jammies.

“Story?”

“Of course.” Chase took Ricky to bed and read to him about Curious George before Ricky rolled over and fell asleep. Chase kissed him gently and left the room, feeling strange and like he was doing things for the last time.

He returned to where Tio waited and pulled out his laptop, then sat at the table with another glass of wine. He opened the message and followed the link to the results. His own were no surprise, coming back as most likely Ricky’s uncle.

“What about Ricky?” Tio asked, and Chase opened it, read through the results, and then nodded at the conclusion. “Well?”

“You are his father,” Chase said, nearly unable to say the words. “Elaine is his mother, and you are Ricky’s biological father.” He stood and wandered away, staring out the window onto the street through watery eyes.

“I have a son,” Tio said from behind him. “I have a son.”

“Yes, you do. But what do we tell him, and how do we tell your parents? Where in the hell do we go from here? Up until now, everything has been hypothetical, but now it’s really here.” He expected everything to change.

“I’ve given this a lot of thought,” Tio told him. “I want Ricky to stay here. I want to be able to get to know him, to be part of his life.” This was exactly what Chase had been afraid of. “And I want you to marry me.”

Chase gasped. “What about your family? Your parents? Aren’t they going to flip out?” A million thoughts raced through his mind all at once. “What am I supposed to do for a living? How?”

“Chase. All those things can be worked out. My parents will come to understand and love both you and Ricky. You’ll be able to stay in the country. Ricky will be able to grow up here… with both of us. And I’ll get to stay with the person I love most in the world.”

Chase didn’t know how to answer. This was such a surprise. “You want me to marry you because it’s convenient? Because then Ricky would stay?”

“No. I want you to marry me because then we could build a life together. But if that isn’t what you want….” Tio suddenly seemed rejected, and Chase didn’t want that either.

“I didn’t say no. I’m just a little surprised. Give me some time to think things over.” That sounded too Downton Abbey for words, but getting married hadn’t been on his radar. And as thrilled as he was that Tio had asked him, he still needed a chance to think and make the right decision.

“If that’s what you want.”

Chase tugged Tio into a hug. “I just need to wrap my head around it, that’s all. This is a lot to deal with.”

“It’s not like we need to get married in the next few months.

In fact, my family tends to have long engagements.

My mother will insist on that so she can plan the proper celebration.

Italy doesn’t have same-sex marriage, but they do have a civil equivalent, so that isn’t an issue. ” Tio had clearly thought about this.

“Can I ask… would you be proposing if Ricky’s test had come back differently?”

Tio smiled, reached into his pocket, and pulled out a small box.

“I had this made last week after the tests were sent in. So yes. The tests were immaterial. I don’t want you and Ricky to leave.

I want to be clear. You and Ricky are in my heart, and I don’t want either of you to leave. So stay here with me… both of you.”