Page 15 of Hello Goodbye Amore

“THAT WAS so cool,” Ricky said as he practically danced along, holding Chase’s hand as they waded through the throngs of people who now filled the square. “I could see everything.” He grinned as Antonello turned to Chase, who looked back.

“I’m sorry. If I had known you didn’t like heights, I….”

“Once I got used to being up there, it wasn’t so bad, and the view is amazing,” Chase said, making Antonello wonder what he had done.

Chase had turned off on the way down, and Antonello hadn’t known what to say.

Maybe he’d pushed too hard and should have offered to take Ricky up and let Chase stay below.

“Can we get gelato?” Ricky asked.

“It’s too early, and you only had toast and juice at home.” He checked the time as the bell in the tower began chiming ten.

“I know just the place if you’re hungry,” Antonello offered, hoping Chase would accept. “It’s just over there.” He led them away from the square and down a side street to a small café. They sat down, and a woman came out, smiling.

“It’s about time you came to see me,” she chided lightly in Italian. “Who are your friends?”

Antonello switched to English. “This is Chase and his son, Ricky. I went to school in America with him, and he’s now working with us for a few months.

This is Isabella, and these two are her sons, Gerardo and Santo.

” The two boys, slightly older than Ricky, smiled before hurrying down the street with a ball.

“Do you want to go too?” she asked Ricky and called after the boys.

“Can I?” Ricky asked.

“They won’t go far,” Isabella explained, and Chase nodded. Ricky raced off, and the boys began some sort of game with the ball that looked a little like three-person soccer.

“It seems some things transcend language,” Chase said as all three of them played and laughed a ways away. “I want him to make new friends.”

“They are good boys, and they learn English in school,” Isabella told Chase. “They figure it out.” She smiled and took their orders for coffee before returning inside.

“What has you so uptight, as we used to say?” Antonello asked.

“Nothing.”

“Liar,” Antonello said without heat. “I know you, remember? I can tell when you’re inside your head. Elaine used to call you out on it all the time. So what has your head churning?”

“I don’t know. I guess the way you… flirted. The way you did that in college. For years I thought I was seeing things. But I wasn’t, and then you started dating Elaine, and I really thought it was just me.”

“Are you wondering if I cared for Elaine? Because I did. She was amazing and always had that way of looking at things that made the worst situation better.” He really missed that about her.

Chase nodded slowly. “But I guess….” He stopped when Isabella returned with their coffee and a plate of pastries and a few cookies. Then she called to the boys to stay close and returned inside the café. Antonello sipped his coffee, waiting for Chase to continue. “I’m wondering what the deal is.”

“The deal?” Sometimes he still got confused by English sayings.

“Your deal. Do you like girls, boys?”

Antonello nodded and then shrugged. “I guess I’m gay…

as you call it. But don’t think I didn’t love Elaine.

I did, and she’s the only woman I have ever been with.

” Just saying the words to someone felt so good, like lifting a weight off his chest, and he knew Chase would understand, even if no one else in his life would.

“My family does not know, and my mother is starting to push her friends’ daughters into my path.

But I’m not interested in them.” He lowered his voice and stopped talking when he heard footsteps.

Isabella returned and called to the boys, who all ran over like she was the Pied Piper. She gave them each some cookies. Ricky tasted his and then wolfed the rest down. Then they ran back to their games and Isabella returned inside.

“I see. You’re in the closet.”

“Yes. I am, and I know it. My father will never understand, and you know that. I have a duty here, the same one that pulled me home instead of us going into business together, which is what I wanted to do.” He sipped his coffee.

“The business has been in my family for hundreds of years and always passed from father to son. If I have no children, then the business would pass to my cousin and his line of the family.”

“Which would be bad?” Chase asked.

It would be a disaster. “After you left, he came to the store the other day with a tourist from Spain. He wanted to use his family discount. I took that opportunity to remind him about his wife and that she would cut off his nuts if she knew. That’s my cousin.

He thinks of nothing other than what he wants right now.

Not the future or about anyone else.” He drank his coffee as he shook his head.

“I like Aria, his wife. She is very nice and too good for him. Aria also has a temper, and I wouldn’t want to cross her.

But she has a blind spot where Lorenzo is concerned. ”

“I see. So you came home to rescue the family business from him, and you still have to have a son or your cousin could be the one to carry on the family legacy.” Chase sipped his coffee, watching the boys play.

“What I don’t understand is, what about you?

What do you want? When you talk about the future, you always speak of duty and family expectations, but what about your life?

Does anyone care about what would make you happy? ”

Antonello set down his coffee, staring across the table at Chase.

That question had never occurred to him, but no.

No one had ever asked what he wanted or liked.

His parents always spoke of his duty and what he had to do for the family and their future.

He had been drilled since he was a small child on what was expected of him and what he had to do.

There had never been any questions about what he wanted.

His major in college was chosen by his parents, in line with the role he was expected to fill.

There had never even been any discussion about alternatives.

His parents had never told him what they hoped for him and then given him a chance to choose the family or another path.

There had never been a choice. That had been stripped away, and his life had been set on a path of hereditary duty and nothing else.

“You don’t need to answer. I can tell by your lost expression that no one ever has.” He turned to Ricky and smiled. “Except maybe Elaine and me. We had our own dreams, didn’t we?” He seemed nostalgic for a few seconds, looking just like he had in college.

“We did, and I cherished those for a lot longer than I had a right to. For the record, I wanted those dreams to come true just as much as you did.” He held on to them for too long because that was the only time in his life when he got to choose something for himself. “I’m sorry I screwed it all up.”

Chase nodded. “Thanks for that. It may not have worked out, but it could have been so much fun to give it a shot.” Their plan had been to import some of the amazing items that Antonello’s family produced and sell them in their own shop.

There were multiple levels of workmanship and quality in the Glorioso lines of artisan jewelry, but they had all agreed that the middle level would probably have done very well, especially in Philadelphia.

Those items, unlike what was sold on the Ponte Vecchio, were machine-made, still fine quality, but with components that were decorated by hand so each was still unique.

They were more affordable than the entirely handmade ones.

It would have benefited the family and given all of them a future that they made themselves.

It was too bad they never got the chance.

“DADDY, CAN Gerardo and Santo come over sometime?” Ricky was an amazing kid.

“I think we can arrange that.” Chase hugged Ricky. “I take it you had a good time.”

Ricky nodded and leaned close to his dad. “They don’t have Legos, and I have lots, so we could build stuff.” He nestled in close to Chase. For a second, Antonello was jealous of the boy.

“I think we can do that,” Chase said. “Now you can go play for a little while more, and then we’ll have lunch here before going home.” He lifted his gaze. “Is that okay with you?”

“It’s great. Isabella makes her own pasta, and she has a cousin on the coast who brings her fresh fish each day when he comes in for the market. I’ll ask her to bring us what’s special.” He called, and she came out.

“Do you have a menu?”

Isabella scoffed. “I bring you what’s good. Okay?” She didn’t wait for an answer and went back inside.

“She told you, Daddy,” Ricky said before hurrying back to where the boys were waiting.

Antonello sat back in his seat, sipping the last of his coffee, his gaze traveling to the bright blue sky above. He was calm, content, and even happy. It had been a long time since he felt this comfortable in his own skin.

“Antonello!” a rough voice called, and instantly he tensed as a chair scraped on the cobbled walk.

“Contessina said you were out, and I figured I could find you here,” Paolo said in Italian before switching to English, sitting at the table without being asked.

“How is America?” he asked Chase. “I heard there was an earthquake there. Was it near you?”

“Paolo, America is huge. So no. It was thousands of kilometers away.” Antonello sighed as the tensions of his usual life flooded back.

“And you can turn off your ridiculous charms. They don’t have a place here, and Chase is not one of the tourists you pick up.

Paolo here tells tourists that he was the model for David and then asks them if they want to go back to his place to find out. ”

Chase snorted, and Antonello loved that smile and the laugh. “So he isn’t into brain surgeons.”